APPRECIATE ME
At the loft, Brian was in the bathroom finishing off admiring himself in the mirror. He turn his face from side to side,
"Right, that's me"
Justin had a pee and zipped up and was pleased at what he was seeing, "Thank God you have shaved that beard off, it made you like 50"
Brian took another look in the mirror and pulled a frown, "I thought it made me look distinguished"
Justin chuckled, "it was like kissing Santa Claus"
Brian looked at him through the reflection, "ho ho ho...right are we ready? What time is it?"
"Nearly ten", replied Justin glancing at his watch.
Brian went into the bedroom and slipped on his black suit jacket, "We better get a move on...what's the boy doing?"
Justin was doing up his top button readying his tie, "do you need to ask?"
"GUS! Turn that console off...it's time to go", Brian yelled through to the lounge area.
"I don't want to go", came Gus's quick reply.
Brian approached him waving a hand, "you have to...we all get to do stuff we don't like...and funerals are no exception"
Gus unplugged the games console and stood up, "will there be a lot of people? Will they all be looking at me?"
Brian came forward and dusted off the boy's jacket, "they'll be looking at the casket...now straighten your tie"
Gus pulled at it, "I hate ties"
Brian shoved the boy's hands out of the way and did it himself, "that's too bad, it's all apart of the show"
Gus looked to the floor, "I feel sad"
His father rested his hand over the boy's shoulder and tilted his head, "You and me both kiddo...now, lets go"
Xxxxx
At the garage, Nathan was fixing himself some toast for breakfast. Patrick watched him from where he sat up at the table, "I want you to know that, he won't hurt you again"
"But..."
"I've told him he is not welcome here anymore...", Patrick told him.
Nathan sighed as he sat down with his plate of toast, "But...I've slept on it and I can see that he kept this place going...Dad you have arthritis and I'm just starting out here"
Patrick was adamant and shook his head at him, "After what YOU told me, I cannot have him here...you understand?"
"I know"
Patrick looked on as his son crunched into the toast, he didn't want to ask this question...but he had to, "Look, son...there is something I DO need to ask you"
Nathan looked up, "What's that?"
"Did Brad touch you? When you were under-age..."
Nathan shook his head and it was the Gods honest truth, "No...never"
"Good...you understand I had to ask you", his father asked, hoping there was no awkwardness.
"Sure...I'm still anxious of how this place is gonna survive...I was telling a friend last night about me stepping up and taking over...but I'm just not ready"
Patrick tried to sound encouraging, "Don't worry...we'll manage...we'll pull together and see what prevails"
Nathan finished his toast, "Sure..."
Xxxxxx
After Lindsay's funeral, there was a wake held at the Peterson family home. Brian stood there looking on as a mourner he hardly knew, spoke to Lindsay's parents, "I'm so sorry for your loss Mrs Peterson...and I'm sorry it rained at the burial"
Brian smirked, even if it was wrong, he thought back to the moment the hearse was doing wheel spins in the mud at the cemetery, because it had been so wet.
Justin spoke to Brian without looking at him, he continued to people watch, "I don't know half of all these people"
Brian chuckled, "It's a good job is how I see it, it means I don't have to be all smiley and pretend that I care about them"
Justin frowned, "Even Lindsay's folks?"
Brian looked at them again, "They never really liked me...especially her father...ever since I had to creep out of her bedroom after we spent the night together, I had to climb down the drainpipe and everything, and then he was waiting for me on the walk with a baseball bat in his hand"
"holy shit?"
Brian laughed again, "Yeah, he chased me up the street with it as well...nearly gave the old man a heart attack"
Justin was looking at Lindsay's parents now, "What about Lindsay's Mom, did you get on with her"
Brian shook his head, "My Mother hated her...when she found out that me and Lindsay were fucking, she accused her of turning a blind eye to the devils wicked endeavors"
Justin was surprised to hear that, "fuck...and then you grow up to be a fag! She didn't know when she was better off!"
Brian gazed about the room, "Look at this place...some draughty, dark and dusty town house in a well to do street..."
Justin admired the architecture, "Yeah...I love it"
Brian stuck his hands into his pockets, "And so will Gus, Huh?"
Justin realized Brian was looking at him for a reaction, "What?"
"Gus...he'll love it here with all this space...", Brian pointed out, gesturing the space around them.
Justin shrugged, "Having all this space is not everything"
Brian tilted his head, "No...but it sure does help and relieviate stress"
Justin hated where this conversation was heading to, "But, Gus might not want to stay with Lindsay's folks"
Brian knew already what his son wanted, "I know he doesn't, he wants to go back to Toronto and live with some boy's family he knows from school...like I'm gonna let that happen"
"Yes...but"
Brian raised his eyebrows at him, "Yes but what? Is it because you thought in your little dreamy head that me you and Gus would live together, and live happy ever after? That was NEVER gonna happen"
Justin looked gutted, "Why not? You ARE his father"
Brian snatched up a glass of red wine and put it to his lips whilst looking at him, "It's because I am his father that I know what is best for him and it is this...trust me"
Xxxxx
At the garage, Nathan was stressing out at all the work that was coming in, "It's too much, I can't fix up all these cars"
Rhona was fixing up a sandwich for Patrick and looked at her husband whilst ignoring Nathan's rant, "I told you...You NEED Brad!"
Patrick slammed a fist down onto the work top, "Over my dead body"
Rhona looked at him, trying to make him see the reality of their situation, "So what are we gonna do"
Patrick snatched up his cell phone and went down stairs to the garage, "I'm gonna make a few calls, see if I can get a casual in"
Rhona finally threw a glare at Nathan, "this is ALL your fault"
Nathan washed his cup up in the sink, "I can't help what happened"
Rhona was jabbing a finger at him, "You could have kept quiet...now, if this business goes belly up, we are ALL out of a home"
Nathan frowned at her, "Dad said it will be okay"
Rhona shook her head like it was HER who knew him better and not his own son, "Your dad says things YOU like to hear..."
Xxxxx
At the wake, Justin came and sat next to Debbie at the table in the huge gloomy drawing room, Debbie was finishing off a sandwich, "It's a lovely house, and the spread they have put on is very nice"
Justin's mood was just as gloomy as the room, "I don't know about the food...but I've just decided that the house is just dull"
Debbie licked her fingers, "You've lost me"
Justin nodded around them, "Look around you...it's dusty and it's old...I mean, look at the art...I love paintings as you know...but have you seen what they've got hung up on the walls...they have zero taste as far as art goes"
Debbie had to chuckle, "Well honey, you don't have to live here"
Justin looked at her, "No...but Gus might have to"
"Huh?"
Justin nodded letting her know what was going on, "Brian's just gonna leave him here with Lindsay's parents"
Debbie kept her voice low because other guests were circulating around them, "No shit? Does Gus know?"
Justin was honest, "I don't know what he knows"
Debbie sighed, she had to have faith in a father, "Well, I hate to say it kid...but if Brian is thinking of the boy's future, he must think he will be better off with the Peterson's"
Justin wasn't in agreement of her view, "But is he though? We can offer him just a good enough home"
Debbie placed her hand over his on the table, "But it's not up to you honey, and I'm not being horrible or uncaring, I'm just trying to be a voice of reason"
Justin knew that, "I know Brian hasn't had that much to do with him, but...I never thought he'd do this"
Debbie decided to point out some pros at the situation, "At least he will be local and not stuck in Canada, you and him will be able to visit him loads"
Justin knew all of that, but it still wasn't convincing him, "that's not the same though as him living with us..."
Debbie knew that if Justin came up against Brian and was at odds at his decision making, there would be a conflict of interest between the two of them,
"honey...I'm going to give you some advice, and forgive me if you don't want to hear it...ONLY Brian can decide if he is ready to take on the responsibility of having Gus...and that is REGARDLESS of how you feel...YOU have to support HIS decision, even if YOU think otherwise"
Justin averted his gaze to the carpet, "I guess"
Debbie was optimistic, "and WHO knows...Brian might one day have a change of heart"
Justin found that hard to believe, "really? You believe that?"
Debbie was up and making her way back to the food, "Boy...believe me when I say to you...when it comes to Brian, stranger things have happened"
Xxxxx
At the garage, Nathan managed to finish off a car. The customer came and collected it and was pleased with the work and price.
Patrick smiled at him, "See...you can do it"
Nathan washed the oil off his hands in the works sink, "That job wasn't tough...we still NEED somebody else"
Patrick smiled at him, "Then you can rest easy son, I've been onto the agency, they are sending somebody along tomorrow..."
Nathan's spirits were lifted, "Great dad...thanks"
Rhona was watching them from the window and was speaking on her cell phone, "He said he has someone coming in tomorrow, Brad...look...just apologize to him...WE NEED YOU...Nathan is a creep and should have kept his trap shut...YES you hit him...and YES it was wrong, but he probably deserved it anyway...look, I'll make sure you'll get your job back...you just leave it all to me"
Rhona smiled all sly looking at father and son laughing together.
Xxxxx
At the wake, most of the guests had already left. Brian was speaking to Lindsay's folks, "and all his stuff is packed and ready to come here"
"Why thank you Brian...you know it makes a whole lot of sense for young Gus to come and live with us", said Mrs Peterson with her hands together clutching a bible.
Brian nodded, "Yeah...just be warned you may have to prize him away from his games console and music if you want to get heard"
"There will be NO games console here I can assure you...and any music he will listen to will be...shall we say, more appropriate", stated Mr Peterson.
Brian looked at him, "It's YOUR call...your house...your rules and all of that"
Justin was watching them from where he sat up on a window sill. He watched as Gus and some other 13 year boy were fighting over a handhold video game.
Mr Peterson came over and snatched the game from Gus, "This is a funeral...YOUR MOTHERS funeral and you will respect that boy"
"But...I want"
Mr Peterson looked at the game, "You want this? Well, you can't have it", he handed it over to the other boy who smiled smugly and ran off, "Now...you are gonna be a good boy and I will let you choose your room"
Justin shook his head not wanting to listen to any of this, he walked off. Brian turned to Mrs Peterson, "I am doing this because I know he will be better off here, it doesn't mean I don't love the boy"
"You are his father...but...as you have said, he is better off here with us...please, come and visit him...just call before you come around"
"Call?"
Mrs Peterson nodded, "You understand the boy will need a routine, if he is to...grow up"
"Of course...look, I'll just go see him"
Brian walked across the hall to see Gus sitting on the window sill Justin had been sat moments before, "Well, sonny boy...this is goodbye for now"
Gus looked up, "I hate it here..."
Brian stopped him, "It is for the best...they can offer you so much more than I can..."
"Yes but"
"Gus...I have a job I work at all day...I have a social life I love and to be honest I am too damned selfish to have a kid staying with me...", he lifted the boys chin, "...even if he is my own"
"But...is this because they think you and Justin will make me gay? I'm not gay...I like girls...they can't say that..."
"it's got nothing to do with that son...and I hope one day, you'll understand"
Brian grabbed his son pulled him to a tight hug, and with a final kiss on the forehead, Brian shook him off and strode out without looking back.
Xxxx