CHAPTER PROLOGUE
The car was on it's roof. The rain was lashing down and the sirens were ringing out across the highway...
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FROM THE INSIDE
At the loft, Justin yawned and stretched as he rolled out of bed and went to the mirror to examine his sore nose. It looked okay, just a bit swollen.
He padded bare foot in his boxer shorts to the lounge area, where Brian was drinking his morning coffee and scanning through his emails, he removed his specs and stood up
"How's your nose this morning?"
"Actually, it feels okay"
Brian came forward and examined the nose and then kissed him on the forehead, "Hey, I'm sorry that Nathan did that to you"
Justin shook his head, "Don't be sorry...besides, like I said, it was meant for Danny - he was the one working him up...anyway, the ED said it wasn't broken"
"Even so...", Brian told and went to the kitchen counter to pour a coffee for him.
Justin sat on the couch and sighed, "I just NEED to get away...I think I might be able to heel better if I did"
Brian handed him his coffee, "Oh?"
"Yeah...the beach house at Mom and Cole's sounds just what I need", Justin then looked at him awaiting a reaction.
Brian fiddled about with his tie, "Justin..."
"Please Brian...I need to get away, and before you answer, and tell me to go on my own because you are busy...I don't WANT to be on my own"
Brian sat next to him and pulled him into a cuddle stroking his arm, "You're not about to give up on this, are you?"
"No..."
"Okay...Have it your way...", He jumped up and grabbed his cell phone from his computer table and pressed call, "Cynthia hi, I need you to do some serious re-scheduling for me..."
Xxxx
Two days later...
The sun was warm and there was a gentle breeze from the ocean as Jennifer gave Justin the guided tour around the beach house in LA.
"The shower room is through there, you've gotta a nice little hot tub round the back and the bedroom is through that side door...plus you get a real nice view of the sunset over the pacific on the veranda"
Justin leaned on the door-frame nodding,"thanks Mom...but you don't really need to do the realtor part on me"
Jennifer waved her hand in an apologetic manner, "Sorry, force of habit when I show people around a place...oh...here's the keys", she dropped them into his hand.
"Thanks Mom"
Jennifer glanced at her watch as the breeze caught her hair, "Well, I've gotta get back soon...", she stared at his face again, "...look honey, are you SURE Brian didn't do that to you? I mean, you WOULD tell me if he did?"
Justin was on the defensive, "No Mom! Get real! Brian would never lay a finger on me, well, not like that anyway"
Both leaned on the rail facing the rolling waves of the pacific ocean, "Sorry...but I am your Mother, and I do have the right to ask these things...where is Brian anyway?"
Justin shrugged, "He said he needed to make some urgent calls"
"He 'said'? Meaning?"
Justin sighed and turned and but his back to the rail so the ocean was behind him, "Things haven't been great between us...he's still got, I don't know, issues with me"
Jennifer almost expected that, "Justin, you DID have an affair"
"I know"
"...and he walked in on you and that guy in New York in bed together", his mother added.
"I know"
"...and he forgave you"
There was a pause and Justin shrugged off his answer, "So he says"
Jennifer pulled her fingers through her hair, "So you think that after all this time, he hasn't forgiven you?"
Justin was honest, "I don't know...I wish I knew...I think maybe it was the REASON why I started an affair with Travis, Brian has a problem with..."
Jennifer frowned at him, "What reason?"
There was nothing like being too honest as he carried on, "...to further my career...he's big on the art scene...with him you are 'a somebody'...he's influential...he's makes mega bucks"
Jennifer shook her head and glanced away to the ocean, "Oh Justin...when did I ever bring you up to be so shallow"
Justin defended himself, or tried to paper the cracks, "You didn't...New York changed me...and sometimes that 'changed me' comes up every now and then, now I'm back...that's the part of me Brian doesn't like"
She met his eyes, "I don't blame him"
Justin moved to the wood steps and sat down, he kicked off his flip flops and his feet sunk into the warm sands,
"I JUST wanted to be a 'somebody'...you know, the guy everybody looks at when you enter a room...like, hey look it's that great up and coming artist that was interviewed on TV last night, he's so great"
Jennifer looked down at her son, she kept her tone of voice soft, "Oh honey, you don't have to explain...I get the 'whys', it's the 'now's' I'm concerned about"
He looked up at her, "He still loves me, I know that much"
She tilted her head and smiled, "You and him just need to talk"
Justin nodded, "Why do you think I brought us out here...I think this might be a make or break weekend for us"
Jennifer drew a sigh, "Should I cancel buying a hat for the wedding?"
Justin hated to answer that, but he tried his best, "Not yet...but if you do buy one, keep the receipt just in case..."
Xxxxx
Later, Justin had finished unpacking some clothes and hung them up in the closet. He looked about and went into the into the living area, "Brian?"
He saw the doors open onto the veranda and went through to see a dark figure on the beach looking out to sea.
Justin dropped down to the sand and hurried over towards the shape that he knew was Brian.
"Hey, there you are...it's dark"
Brian didn't looked at him, he just faced the calm ocean with a gentle breeze wafting his open shirt about, "I like it"
Justin looked up to the moon and was amazed how it reflected off the ripples of the waves, like dancing sparkling crystals, "The moon light shining over the calm waves is just magical...so romantic"
"Yeah"
Justin looked at him, "Aren't you glad we came?"
There was a throaty grunt, and then Brian gave him the most suspicious of looks, "Justin, what is this all about?"
Justin laughed, "What?"
Brian tilted his head at him, "This is more than convalescence of being smacked in the face...so what's the REAL reason?"
Justin sighed. It looked like Brian had twigged, "I just want some you and me time...and back home we weren't getting it"
"Why?"
"Does there have to be a why?", Justin asked.
Brian pulled a face, "It depends on what your motives are"
Justin put his hands together and then looked out to sea and then back at Brian, "Look...this is gonna sound kinda lame of me...but I was jealous of Nathan"
Brian chuckled, "Jealous of Nathan? What the hell for?"
Justin bit his lip, "He's younger than me...he gazes at you like you are this amazing god-like being...I was worried that...", he waved his hand dismissively, "...no...just forget it"
Brian wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily, he turned and parted his arms as he was waiting for him to finish, "Ohhh noo, you can't just stop there...carry on"
Justin met his look, the burning question, "Okay...are you gonna fuck him?"
"No"
Justin tried again, "Do you WANT to fuck him?"
Brian screwed his face up in the moonlight, "Why wouldn't I? As you say, he's young, hot, has a cute butt to die for...but...unlike you, I have a bit of self control"
Justin saw this coming, even though he wouldn't admit to it, "I knew this would get us back to Travis"
Brian whistled, "you said it boy"
Justin widened his eyes, "Am I gonna have to apologize for forever and a day?"
Brian clicked his tongue thinking about how he was going to put this, he turned and was serious, "This isn't about you fucking him or him fucking you...it's for the reason why...I've struggled since then. Most of the time I am fine, but then you will do or say something that sets my mind right back"
Justin shook his head, "I know...I regret everything...I wanted it all"
Brian laughed, "And you ended up with FUCK all"
"You said you were okay with it"
"What I say and how I feel are completely different...", Brian sighed and moved closer to the shore, "...I just don't get you, when you fucked off with Ethan, I told you what it did to me inside...all you wanted was me you said...just me...wanting me to conform to the dyke driven bullshit marriage...", he glanced back at him, "...of course I don't think like that now, but you SAY that, and no sooner you are in New York, you've jumped into bed getting your ass fucked raw by some aging art guru"
Justin swallowed, "It wasn't that I loved him...or even remotely found him attractive"
Brian was amazed, "and that makes it okay?"
There was a gritting of teeth, "Brian I don't want to argue"
Brian shrugged back at him, "I'm not arguing, as far as I'm concerned this is a discussion"
Justin moved forward, "a discussion then. Brian we NEED to talk about this...", he looked to the sands, "...fuck, this isn't how I planned things"
Brian grinned at him knowingly, "I knew you planned this little venture...we could have done all this at home"
Justin pressed on, "Question. Do you think I am shallow?"
"Huh?"
"Do you?"
"Look, if..."
"Brian! Just answer the god-damned question!"
Brian met his eyes in the dark, "Okay, I will...but careful what you wish for...because the answer to your question is YES, YES I fucking do!"
"Okay"
But Brian was far from finished, "Not just shallow...you're greedy, you're envious, you're selfish, you used that poor old guy Travis like he was a meal ticket...don't you think I've seen all that before over my years...spiteful little queens sucking an old guy dry for the wrong reasons"
"Brian..."
"I thought better of you!", he finished finally raising his voice.
"Woaw...harsh...but fair I guess"
Brian closed his eyes and paused, then he opened them and looked at Justin who looked like he wanted to go run and hide, "It doesn't mean I don't love you...because I do...but you disappointed the hell out of me"
"I'm sorry...I am so sorry", he muttered.
"when you came back...no correction...when you HAD to come back, I thought I might be fine with it...but then we carried on like we did before"
Justin nodded, "I know"
"we both agreed that those who hunt together stayed together where cock is concerned...no kissing, no names...no anything, I was okay with that"
So was Justin, "so am I, that way there is no lies...I used to have a problem with it, but I get the whys now"
Brian reached out and took Justin's hand into his, "look...do you still wanna get married?"
"Yes...of course I do"
Brian stared at him, "well I don't...not yet...we are just not ready"
A growth of concern raised in him, "I am ready...please Brian, don't just give up on me"
Brian squeezed his hand for reassurance, "I said not yet...but we need time to get back to how it should be, I'm not going to all the trouble marrying you only for it to crash around our ears in six months time"
Justin looked up, "Then we start over"
"How?"
Time to get it right, "just you and me and nobody else. Just us. A one to one relationship, I guess if that doesn't work, then we just don't get married"
Brian agreed, "Okay"
"and I promise not to be shallow and selfish and greedy"
Brian took a hand and brushed Justin's cheek, "you're none of those things deep down, Justin, let's just put that down to a phase, huh?"
"and I'm so sorry I was jealous over Nathan...because like I said, I was"
Brian was honest, "I gave you reason to be...I did break the rules, I did kiss him, but I had my reasons...but, you really have nothing to be jealous of, he has a crush on me...I'm trying to handle it with care...but at the same time, he needs friends...and friends like superficial Stu and Devious Danny YOU could do with out, huh?"
"Yeah...they are kinda stupid", Justin had to admit.
Brian was trying to see the face of his watch, "Fuck me...it's way past 10...are you hungry?"
Justin was past it, "No...you?"
"yeah...for you"
He then kissed Justin on the lips. Their kiss was long and passionate. Justin took Brian's hand and broke off the kiss and lead him back to the beach house.
Inside Justin kissed him again and removed his T shirt. Brian threw off his shirt and they ended up falling onto the sun lounger.
Their faces were only inches apart. Their noses nearly touched. Brian's hair fell onto Justin's cheeks. Justin looked up at him, "You haven't fucked me for days"
"Haven't I? I better put that right now, huh?"
Justin bit his lip and smiled with a cheeky nod.
Brian kissed him and then pulled him up and they went into the bed room and closed the door behind them.
Xxxxxx
CHAPTER EPILOGUE
Back in Pittsburgh, the loft was empty. The land line rang and it clicked over to the voicemail.
"This is the Ontario police department. I have this number listed to a Brian Kinney. Would you please call me back on this number 555 35 2560 and ask for Stephanie Adamsky...it's about your son"
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