Two months later

It was still light outside, daylight savings time had begun in late March and everyone seemed to enjoy the extra daylight.  It seemed to Justin that he always had more energy in the spring and summer, corresponding to the increased day light, but Brian teased him that it was just his imagination as there were still only 24 hours in a day, whether it be fall or winter.  This year he doubted if he would ever have energy again.  Colin was a good baby, not colicky or fussy but he was always hungry.  Justin was exhausted since the baby ate every few hours and felt like he was never so tired in his life. He remembered his early PIFA years when he was juggling working at the diner so he could pay tuition and taking a full course load and being constantly tired, but this was worse.  He'd read about babies needs to eat frequently and the new parent struggle to get sufficient sleep, but he never dreamed it would be this stressful.  He would dream of sleep and when he was awake, he constantly felt the pull of his bed calling to him.  He'd begun to sympathize with people who were on diets and their constant thoughts of food, except his were constant thoughts of sleep. 

Brian and he had agreed that it was silly for both of them to get up with Colin so they took turns.  At first it was every other feeding, but then they decided that they would take a week at a time.  Even with this arrangement he was still tired as he woke every time he heard Colin, often having to push Brian a few times to get up and take care of him.   He envied Brian's ability to sleep through anything.  It was his turn this week and he'd just fed and changed Colin, laying him back in his basinet for a few hours.  Stumbling back to bed, he was almost asleep before he hit the pillow, but then Brian's alarm went off and jostled his sleep deprived body.

Brian hit the alarm quickly, leaned over and kissed Justin, hoping to enjoy a blow job or even better, morning sex before he had to be at work, but Justin grunted, pulled the pillow over his head and turned away.   Brian smiled at his husband but let him sleep, understanding how very tired they both were.   He trudged to the bathroom, showered and got ready for work, trying to be as quiet as possible.   A few hours later, Colin cried again, waking Justin up for the next round of baby duty.

Justin fed and changed Colin again and returned to his bedroom, hoping for a few more hours of sleep before he too had to get up and work.   While he worked at home in his studio, his work was no less important than Brian's and they had hired a nanny to watch Colin during the daytime hours.  He returned to the bedroom and managed to sleep a few more hours, so when Colin woke around 10:00 he was feeling almost rested and ready to meet the world.  He again cared for Colin and dressed him in a light sleeper, bringing him downstairs to the nanny, Chloe.  The nanny arrived at 9:30 each morning and it was her job to prepare the daily bottles, and cook a small breakfast for whichever parent was home before she started her duties of caregiving.  

"There you are, Colin.  I was beginning to wonder if your daddy was going to keep you all day," Chloe said as she reached for Colin and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.   Chloe was dressed in light jeans and a blue t-shirt that was emblazoned with the logo from the Bloom gallery.   She was the wife of one of the employees whose children were grown and wanted something to keep herself occupied.  Her husband was ecstatic as she was doing something useful instead of out spending money on frivolous purchases they did not need.  Brian and Justin connected with her immediately, Justin thinking she reminded him of Jennifer and Brian thankful she did not remind him of his mother.  Chloe carefully placed Colin on the Boppee and put a baby gym over him so he could stare at the black and white objects.  

"I'll be in town for a meeting and then I may go visit my mother.  She was making noises about not seeing me.  I'm not sure what Brian has planned today.  I vaguely remember seeing him yesterday."

"Justin, I'm not your mother or your keeper.   I'm Colin's nanny and he's my responsibility between 9:30 and 7:00 each day.  You are not my child or spouse and I do not need you to report in to me.  Now go, work, Colin and I will be fine."  Chloe moved her hands in a waving motion, dismissing Justin to do whatever he needed to do.

Justin smiled at the woman and went back upstairs to get ready for his day.  He had a meeting with Carol, his agent this morning and they were going to talk about his upcoming schedule.  Now that he was an established artist, his work was in great demand.  She usually had three or four shows wanting his work and he had the luxury of choosing which ones he wanted to show his art.   He thought it ironic after all the years and struggles where he fought for every showing and commission and now that he had them, he wanted to slow down his commitments to spend time with his son.  He still loved painting and couldn't imagine not creating, but he was torn between his art and his life.

His meeting with Carol went well, finishing his discussion in under an hour.  It was a little late for lunch, but he wanted to see his mother, deciding to go to her office to see if she had eaten yet. The real estate business was very busy these days and she often ate later in the day.  Walking into the office, he spied her as she hung up the phone.  Looking up she saw him standing at the doorway and said, "Justin.  What a nice surprise.  I didn't know you were going to be town today.  Come in, sit down."

Justin walked into the office, giving his mother a light kiss on the cheek.  His stomach growled and she laughed a small chuckle.  "Some things don't change, even when you're a grown man with a child.  Would you like to go to lunch?  I had a breakfast meeting this morning and ate a big breakfast so I haven't eaten yet."

"Sounds great.  I was hoping you'd not eaten.  Where do you want to go?"

"How about Hello Bistro?  They have some great salads.  And I understand their burgers are pretty good too."

"Sounds good. I'll follow you there.  I could use a good burger.  While Rosa cooks for us, she tends to cook with Brian's palette in mind.  He wouldn't dream of a juicy burger and a milk shake but sometimes that is just what I crave."

They arrived at Hello Bistro and were seated immediately since it was well past the lunch time crowd.  Justin looked at the menu and ordered a hello bistro burger and Jennifer ordered an apple almond crunch salad.  Justin drank some water and yawned. 

"Sorry, mom.  It's my week to get up with Colin and I'm just exhausted.  Thankfully we have Chloe to watch him during the day so Brian and I can work.  She's a godsend."

"A new baby is very tiring.  It will get better when he gets bigger and can eat more.  When his stomach can hold more food, he won't wake up so much and then you'll get some sleep."  Jennifer drank a little of her iced tea and smiled as she remembered those crazy times when Justin was little.

"I'm so exhausted.  I mean I would kill for a solid 8 hours of sleep.  I think I might feel human and even be able to spend time with my husband.   I feel like Brian and I are like ships in the night, passing but not interacting."

"I know.   Having a newborn is very stressful on couples.  They are so excited to bring the baby home, but the reality of taking care of someone so helpless 24/7 is different than anyone envisioned.  Many fathers become jealous of the baby because the mother has to spend so much time caring for it and the father feels neglected.  You and Brian share the baby chores and since both of you can take care of him, there is less chance of jealousy."

"Seriously, mom.  Guys get jealous of their wives when they have to take care of the babies.  You're kidding right?"

"No.   Even if the mother isn't feeding the baby, the father often returns to work and then the mother is taking care of the baby. When he gets home, he oftentimes wants things to be the same as before the baby and resents the intrusion on their time as a couple."   His mother was somewhat surprised that Justin hadn't read about this phenomenon when he was studying all his baby books.  

Their food arrived and both took several bites of their lunch before the conversation continued. 

"Would you like me to come over one night and watch Colin?  You and Brian could go out for a few hours, maybe go to Babylon."  She felt the mention of Babylon would be sufficient for them to fill in the blanks.

Justin took a drink of his ice tea thinking about the offer.  "I don't know.  He already spends all day with Chloe.  I would feel guilty if we went out and didn't see him or spend time with him," Justin said as he toyed with the offer. 

"Justin.  Colin is two months old; he won't know the difference.   It's important for you and Brian to spend time together too.  You really don't believe you're never going to go out again."  Jennifer was very proud of herself and how she was handling this difficult conversation.  Her son was a parent and while she was not going to second guess any of their parenting decisions, she wouldn't hesitate to remind him that he was a man with a husband who needed his attention as well.

Justin considered his mother's words and realized she had some valid points.  He would talk to Brian about her offer.  His mom didn't realize that Babylon didn't start to get hopping until at least 11:00 and he wasn't going to ask her to stay that late.  Maybe going to Woody's would work.   His mother had planted a seed and now he was considering her offer. 

"Thanks mom. I'll talk to Brian and get back to you."  He finished his burger and poured ketchup on his plate to eat his fries.

"Colin is my grandson and I love to spend time with him." Jennifer smiled as she watched Justin dip each fry into the ketchup, reminiscing how he used to do as a child. She wondered if Colin would do that when he got older.

They finished their lunch and Justin leaned over to kiss his mom.  "Thanks for lunch.  There were even a few things that I think Brian would eat.  I'll have to get him to go here the next time I'm in town. I'll talk to him about your offer."

Jennifer smiled, hoping the little seed she planted would result in an evening of uninterrupted time with her grandson. She placed her portion of the money for the bill on the table along with a tip and returned to her office. 

It was almost 4:00 when he left the restaurant, too early for Brian to quit work but he decided to go to Kinnetik anyway.   He wanted to see what Brian's art department was doing with the latest Eyeconics campaign since he had helped Brian with the new ideas.  Driving to Kinnetik, he kept returning to lunch and his discussion with his mom.  The more he thought about it the more he liked the idea of spending an evening with Brian.   Parking the car in the employee lot, he walked into Kinnetik and was greeted by Cynthia.

"Justin, good to see you.   Brian is still on a conference call, but he should be done in a few minutes."

"Great.   I'll wait.  Do you want to see new pictures of Colin?"

"Of course.   I'll always want to see pictures of him.   While you guys are raising him, I still want him to know me." Cynthia reached out to Justin, taking his phone and swiping through the pictures.   "He's beautiful.  I think we made a beautiful baby."

Justin smiled as he closed the gallery app and put his phone in his pocket.  "Do you think he's done yet?"

Cynthia looked at the phone display and saw all the lights were off.  "Yes, it's safe, well as safe as it is to go into the lion's den unannounced."

"He's always happy to see me, well almost always."  Justin opened the door and as usual, Brian didn't look up, but said.

"I told you not to disturb me. What the fuck do you want?"

"Good afternoon to you too," Justin said, unperturbed at the harsh greeting.

Brian registered Justin's voice and looked up from his desk.  "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?   I thought you had a meeting at the gallery and were going to paint.  I know you've got that show coming up."  Brian left from behind his desk, walked over to Justin and gave him a kiss on the lips, opening his mouth to taste the essence of his partner. 

Justin returned the kiss, relishing this rare moment where they didn't worry about being interrupted by Colin, returning again to the conversation with his mom at lunch.  They broke the kiss after a few moments, both recognizing that continuing would result in more than kissing. 

Justin walked to the couch and sat down, motioning for Brian to join him.  "I did have a meeting at the gallery this morning and then I went to lunch with mom.  Carol says that I have all the pieces I need for the show and we set up some dates for future projects."  His voice rose in excitement and he turned his body toward Brian.  His hands were moving a mile a minute as he spoke about his work.  "She's pretty happy with the pieces and feels they will make a great show.  She liked the ideas I had for the next set of paintings and she feels that the schedule I set up appears realistic."  Justin said as he waxed on about the meeting.  

"How was your lunch with Mother Taylor?"

"Great.  We went to Hello Bistro.  We should go there.  The food is great and there's food there you'll eat."  Justin licked his lips as he remembered his burger and fries.  

"We'll see," Brian said as he could already picture the fat clogging his arteries and the extra time on the stairmaster that he would have to put in if he indulged Justin.    

"Speaking of mom, she offered to watch Colin so we could go to Babylon.  I didn't burst her bubble by telling her that Babylon doesn't really get exciting until at least 11:00.  I thought maybe Woody's would be nice.  Have a few drinks, play some pool- enjoy ourselves..."  He didn't mention a visit to the men's room, assuming any visit to Woody's or Babylon would include that sweet indulgence.  Justin eyed Brian from head to toe, taking a few extra seconds at his crotch and unconsciously licked his lips.

Brian watched his partner, not unaware of his thoughts and remembering the decline of blow jobs he received in recent weeks, especially in the mornings. He glanced at his desk, completing a mental list of his "to do's" before he could realistically leave for the day.  Sadly, he acknowledged that owning your company, there was a certain responsibility to your employees and customers that he just could not adjudicate. However, the idea of a night out with his partner was a compelling one, especially if Mother Taylor had offered to watch Colin.  Understanding that he could relax and enjoy his partner without comments from the family about his irresponsibility leaving a 2 month baby also added to the appeal. 

"I like the idea.  Why don't you talk to her about watching him tomorrow night?  I'll have time to finish the work on my desk and we can spend a few hours together shooting pool."  He silently added "without messy diapers and baby spit up" but knew Justin would fill in the blanks.    Brian leaned over, giving Justin a quick kiss on the lips, got up and returned to his desk. "Now unless there is something else you need, if I'm going to go out tomorrow night, I need to get back to work.  I think someone should spend a few hours in his studio too.   I don't want to find you painting and can't pull yourself away from your inspiration."  Brian sat down and picked up the papers he was previously reading, essentially dismissing Justin.

Justin picked up his messenger bag and said, "Later" then returned to the lobby.  

Cynthia said, "I see you're still whole.  Did you calm the beast?"

"I told him about mom's offer to watch Colin for a few hours tomorrow while we hit Woody's.  That seemed to make him happy."

"You know, Justin, I'd be more than happy to watch him too."

Smiling, he felt a sense of calm wash over his body.  He could trust Cynthia and his mom to watch Colin. He was slowly building a village to raise their child.

"Thanks.   I'll keep that in mind."  He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek and left the building.

It was early, only 5:00pm and he thought Brian's idea of painting might not be a good one.   He knew that if he got involved in a piece, he could easily forget the time and be late to take over parenting duties.  Instead, he knew he needed some supplies and he could stretch a few canvases as well.  The ideas he's discussed with Carol that morning were going to need some specific sized canvases and he didn't think he had those in his possession.  He spent the remainder of the afternoon prepping for his next painting session.   On his way home, he called his mom.

"Mom," he said as she answered the phone.

"Hello, dear.  Is everything okay?  We just saw each other a few hours ago."

"Everything's fine.  I just wanted to ask if you were available tomorrow.  I talked to Brian and he agreed that going to Woody's would be great."

"Let me look at my calendar," she said as she brought up her Google calendar.  Looking at the entries, she said.  "I have a showing at 3:00 and if the couple want the house, we should still be done by 6:00.  I could come out by 7:00.  Would that work?"

"Perfect.  Brian usually is home by 7:00 these days.   That is the time we let Chloe go home."

"I could pack a bag and spend the night, if you want.   I don't have anything until 2:30 the next day."

Justin toyed with her generous offer but said, "Thanks, I appreciate it, but not this time. Colin is still waking up at night and I'm not going to ask you to do that. Maybe in a few months."

"Okay, sweetheart.  I'll see you tomorrow."

Justin pushed the call button in his steering wheel and called Brian.

"Mom said yes for tomorrow.  Now clear your desk and get home on time.  Tell Cynthia and Ted that unless someone is dying or Kinnetik is going under, you are not to be disturbed and get ready to play some pool."  Justin said, the excitement in his voice evident by the continual high pitch as he talked. 

"Great.  Later."  Brian hung up the phone and made a ‘to do' list for the next day, put a few items in the out box, closed down his computer and grabbed his briefcase as he wondered at the changes in his life over the last year.  Never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd get a huge smile at the thought of going to Woody's to shoot a few games of pool, but that was exactly what was happening.  He had the largest smile on his face and couldn't wait to spend time with his partner doing the most mundane thing in the world, shooting some ceramic balls into net pockets. 

TBC