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Author's Chapter Notes:

Brian's turn to share the news.

 

Brian walked into Mullaney's Harp and Fiddle, ready to eat some traditional Irish pub food.  He'd purchased his loft before loft living was chic, but now the downtown "Strip area" had become the new hip, luxury area to live.  Thankful he lived closer to Liberty Avenue and the haunts he frequented, he still appreciated the transformed area of the city with its array of shops, restaurants and lofts overlooking the riverfront.  If he was willing to live with "the breeders," this area would have appealed to him.  He'd asked Lindsay to meet him here for lunch as it was close to the Bloom Gallery and he knew she enjoyed spending time with him away from "their family". 

The host greeted him and he asked for a table for two in the back.  He wanted to be far away from the public as possible.  The host left two menus and Brian perused it as he waited for Lindsay. 

He heard his stomach growl, silently blaming Justin as he missed his guava juice and toast this morning due to a second tryst in the shower.  The memory brought a smile to his face, despite his hunger.  He was still amazed that after 8 years of sleeping with the same man, he still lusted after his body.  Truth be told, it was more than lust, but no one need know that little secret; although he imagined most of the family knew it, they just knew better than to say it out loud. And of course that love for the man he'd married was going to leap into the ultimate step; they were going to have a child together.  Hence the meeting with Lindsay today was set to break the news.

Lindsay appeared at the table as he contemplated yet again how to tell her of this latest development in his life.  She kissed him on the cheek and took some loose strands of her hair, putting them behind her ear.

"Hi. Sorry I'm a bit late. This area has gotten so busy; I could barely find a place to park.   I saw the cutest shop on the way here. There was a gorgeous rug in the window that I know would just look great in the foyer.  Even though this area is close to work, I rarely go this way."  She picked up her menu and looked over the many offerings.  "What are you going to have?"

The waitress arrived at that moment, sparing Brian from having that conversation which in his mind sounded too breeder for his taste. 

"I'll have the crabcakes and a Newcastle."

"And for you?" the waitress asked as she wrote Brian's order on her pad.

"I'll have the veggie platter and a diet Coke."

The waitress left and took their menus.

"How is Justin?  I haven't seen him in a few weeks.  He must be really busy with his next show."  Linsday smiled as she looked at Brian.

"He's fine.  We're looking forward to spring break and having Gus for the week. Justin has a whole itinerary planned out."

"He's eight years old, not some old tourist on a cruise ship who needs every minute planned."  Lindsay frowned at Brian, hoping he would see that all the activities were a bad idea.

"Come on, Linds, I'm teasing.  Justin does have a few things planned, but basically they plan on hanging out and seeing what develops.  I'm planning on taking a few days off too.  He's growing up way too fast."

The waitress brought their drinks and Brian took a drink of his beer, savoring the taste.  The beer here was real beer, not the watered down stuff they called beer at Woodys'.

"You said you wanted to talk.  What was so important that you didn't want to meet at the diner?"

"Justin and I have been discussing some big changes in our lives and we've decided to have a child."

Lindsay's mouth opened wide and she frowned deeply.  "Brian, I'm really where I want to be in my career.  I don't think I can afford to get pregnant right now.  Maybe in another 6 months or a year."

Brian took several drinks from his beer as he tried to keep from laughing. 

"We weren't asking you to carry the child."

"But what about Gus?  Don't you think he should be related to a child that you and Justin have?"

"Gus will still have us as his fathers. That won't change.  We've decided that Justin will provide the sperm for this one, but we are going to raise it together."

"Oh."

Lindsay had so many thoughts running through her head at the moment, she didn't know which one to voice.  She was angry that they didn't ask her to carry the baby.  If she carried the child, Gus and the new child would be half siblings and share DNA.  And of course, if she had a second child that she could share with Brian, it would mean that she would have influence over him for a long time.  On the other hand she was relieved as she told Brian she didn't want to get pregnant at this time.  She was at a critical juncture in her career and didn't want to stop to have a baby. Gus had to be considered as well.  How would he react to a child in Brian's life, especially one that lived with him all the time?  She feared what ramifications that would have.

"Have you really thought about this, Brian?  A child is a big adjustment.  You won't be able to just fuck when you want to."  She decided to go for the jugular, knowing how much Brian and Justin had sex.

"There's more to life than fucking, Linds." Brian had been ready for her objections and they had actually talked about the consequences of having a child on their sex life.

Lindsay almost spit out her water at Brian's statement.

"I don't think I would've believed anyone if they told me you would ever make that statement.  I know how much you and Justin have sex.  I just can't see you changing."

"People change.  I'm not here to debate our ability to change our sex life or any other part of our lives.  This is something that we have decided to do and I thought I should tell you."

"When we had Gus, it was a huge adjustment.  I just wanted to be sure that you were aware."

"Again, Lindsay.  I've been with Gus since he was a baby and he's spent a lot of time with me and us.  Sure I don't have him 24/7 year round, but I'm not oblivious.  This is something Justin really wants and I'm his partner."

Lindsay saw her chance to question his commitment.  "Is this something you want?  I know Justin wants it; he's always wanted a family, even when he was in high school he talked about it.  But I want to know if it's really something you want.  If you really aren't with him, it's going to be a disaster."

"Yes, I want it.  I never thought I would want to raise a child, but the more we discuss it the more I realize I do want it."

"Who's going to have the baby?  Daphne?"

"We're not sure yet.  It won't be Daphne, though.  She'll make a great aunt, but Justin and she talked about it and they both agree she's not the right person."

"Finding a surrogate can be really scary.  You never know until you hold that baby's papers in your hand that it is really yours.  Can you handle that uncertainty?"

"We know what we're doing.  W've been around Gus since he was born and this is a well thought out decision.  I'm sure you and Mel had many discussions about getting pregnant."  Brian finished the last of his beer and waved to the waitress to bring another.  He was getting angry at Lindsay but didn't want to say anything he would regret.

The waitress brought another beer and their food.  They ate in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry Brian.  Your news just really threw me.  It's so out of the blue.  I know you're a great parent to Gus and I'm sure you will love being a parent to this child as well.  I wish you all the best."  Lindsay hoped her WASP training would come across as sincere, but she knew she better apologize or risk angering Brian even more.  Somehow she knew this unborn child would not be a welcome addition for everyone in their family.

"Sorry's bullshit."  Brian didn't need to explain as everyone in his inner circle knew his personal philosophy.

Lindsay ate a few more bites from her lunch and looked at her watch.  "I better be getting back.  I have a conference call at 2:00." Standing up, she kissed Brian's cheek and said, "Thanks for lunch.  Talk to you later this week to discuss Gus' visit."

Brian finished his beer and signaled the waitress for a third.  As he drank his beer, he reviewed his lunch with Lindsay, second guessing his decision to tell her before they had chosen a surrogate.  "Fuck them all," he said to himself.  "We want to have a god damn baby, then we will have a god damn baby."  He signaled for the check and left the waitress a big tip.

Walking back to his car, he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and called Justin.

 

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