Very anti- Lindsay
Brian and Gus got into Brian's car and drove to Mel and Lindsay's.
"So, Justin tells me you are worried about soccer season ending."
"Yeah. Mom and Momma were arguing about what to do with me. Dad, I wish I could live with you and Justin. You never argue about me."
"Well, I'm going to see what I can do about that," Brian said. He didn't want to tell Gus that he was definitely going to be staying with them all the time, but this ping pong shit had to stop. "Why don't you go up to your room when we get to your moms' house and I'll go to talk to them."
"Really? You going to tell them I should live with you and Justin?" Gus was practically bouncing in his seat.
"I have some ideas about how to get them to say yes, but it will be better if you go upstairs and they don't have any idea what I'm going to say." Brian didn't want Gus to hear his accusations against his mothers. While he was very angry about the way they treated his son, they were still his mothers and he wanted to preserve that relationship.
"Okay. I want to play with master Yoda and Luke Skywalker when I get home. I forgot to bring them today."
They arrived at the house a few minutes later and Brian rang the bell. He had a key to their place for emergencies, but unlike Lindsay who felt that she could walk into the loft at any time she pleased, he chose to ring the bell. Lindsay had walked in on him and Justin a few times and she appeared to be very indignant about finding them actively engaged in sexual activities. The last time she tried to chastise Brian by asking what would Gus think if he walked in on them. Brian turned the conversation around by pointing out that she was the one using a key without knocking, therefore she was the intruder. While he didn't need to give her any more information, he also explained that when Gus was there, they kept their activities in the bedroom- not that it was any of her business. She didn't want Brian to have the final word, even though she realized that he had a point regarding her entering their home unannounced, but stopped when Brian stated he wouldn't do anything to harm Gus.
Lindsay greeted Gus and Brian. She bent down to kiss her son and said, "Gus, go upstairs and take a bath and do your homework." Lindsay didn't even stop to look at him, seeing that he was no longer in his soccer uniform.
He stiffened from her embrace, hurt that she immediately started giving him things to do rather than asking about his day. "I don't need a bath; I took a shower after soccer at Daddy's loft and then I did my homework too."
"Oh," Lindsay said in response. Brian was not really surprised that she didn't realize that he had Gus taken a shower and completed his homework before he was returned to their home. If he didn't do either of these, Gus would be dirty and it would be quite late for him to get to bed. This way, he was clean and had a little time to play before he needed to go to sleep. Just this comment made Brian realize how little the munchers were attuned to their son.
"Sonny Boy, why don't you go upstairs and play for a bit. I'm here a little early so I'll be up in a little while to read you your story."
"Sure Dad." Gus bounded up the stairs and Lindsay watched in awe.
"We have to fight with him to do that stuff. How do you do it?"
"He never fights with me and Justin."
Lindsay looked at Brian, not believing that he was able to get Gus to do what he needed to do, but unwilling to argue.
"Soccer season is ending this weekend," Brian said as he moved to the living room and sat on the couch. He wanted to be out of ear-shot of Gus and he knew if he didn't move to the living room area, Lindsay would continue to talk to him at the foot of the stairs.
Lindsay sat down and curled her feet under her. She curled a blond hair behind her ear as she looked at Brian. "Yes. It's been such a help with you and Justin picking him up after school. Now we have to figure out what to do with him."
Brian took several deep breaths, not wanting to start an argument. He really wanted to yell at Lindsay and tell her Gus was not a puppy that had to be dealt with, but a little boy who wanted his parent's attention and wanted to know he was a part of the family.
"Justin and I have really enjoyed spending time with him after school. We love seeing him most nights and helping with his homework or just playing with him."
"He loves his time with you guys too."
"We'd be open to having him after school all the time."
"That would be so helpful." Lindsay nodded her head in agreement, a large smile on her face. She was hoping that Brian would offer to continue picking Gus up several days a week. "With our schedules, it is just so difficult to be here in the afternoon and early evening. He needs someone to help with his homework and to play with and we are just so busy," Lindsay said, trying to justify her position. Gus wanted to do so many after school activities and both of them were at a critical point in their careers. As a business owner, she knew Brian understood how business had to come first, even if that meant sacrificing time with your child.
"I know you two are very busy. You have your job at the Gallery and Mel is a partner now." Brian recognized Lindsay's excuses for their behavior. He was fuming inside but continued to play the amicable dad. He really didn't want to let Lindsay know his true feelings. If she had an inkling of his plans to have Gus full time, she would stop her ‘woah is me' pity party. Gus was her link to Brian and he understood that she had manipulated him into donating his sperm so she would have his child. Unfortunately for Gus, Lindsay hadn't really thought about the true commitment of parenting. Now that Gus was older and needed even more attention, she was finding it to be more time consuming than she wanted. Her career was important and it was evident to Brian that both women really liked the idea of parenthood more than the reality.
"Yes. They are tough jobs and take a lot of time. I'm so glad you understand, Brian." Lindsay smiled, so happy that Brian was agreeing with her. She had always wanted him to be a part of Gus' life. Her fantasy of the nuclear family, Brian, Lindsay and Gus would never happen, but if Brian would take a bigger role in Gus's life, then she could move up in her job and Brian would be roped in to caring for Gus.
"Why don't we just pick up Gus every day after school?"
"Oh, that would be a lot of help. J.R. is at the sitters until 6:00 and then she comes home, eats, takes a bath and goes to bed. Mel and I are so tired from our jobs we just don't have time to do a lot with either kid." Lindsay touched Brian on the forearm and squeezed, showing her appreciation.
"You know, Gus has a room at Britin. It's silly for us to bring him here at night just so he can sleep. Since we're going to have him after school, why don't we just have him sleep there too? It would so much less stress on you and Mel. You could take care of J.R. and work, and wouldn't need to worry about Gus."
Lindsay was tired and Brian made this solution sound so enticing. "You wouldn't mind? I mean... Mel and I were just talking the other day that it seems really silly for you to drop him off just so he can sleep here."
"Exactly. So we will pick him up tomorrow."
"Okay."
"I'm going to go up and read Sonny Boy a story."
"Thanks, Brian. This is such a big help."
"Any time. Anything to help." Brian bounded up the stairs and knocked on Gus's door.
Gus was ready for bed, pajamas on and teeth brushed.
"So did you talk to her, Daddy? Can I come to your house after school?" Gus hopped on his bed and grabbed a book from his nightstand for Brian to read.
"Yep, you can come by tomorrow. In fact, you can spend the night too and Justin will take you to school in the morning."
"Really. I'll get to spend the night in the middle of the week. So cool, Dad."
Brian reached out and gave his son a big hug and whispered to him, "Now, your mom said you can stay with Justin and me instead of coming home every night. But your momma doesn't know this arrangement. It's our secret for now. Justin and I will go buy you some pajamas and a toothbrush."
"Why can't I take my pajamas and toothbrush?" Gus asked as he looked at his father with a question on his face.
"It's complicated, but here's the deal. Your mom said you can stay with us in the afternoon and it is silly for us to bring you home just to sleep; so she said you could sleep at our house too."
Gus was bouncing with excitement and he started to yell, but Brian put his finger over his lips to silence his son. "What's complicated? I'm going to be with you and Justin and I don't have to watch JR when the moms are busy."
Brian wasn't ready for this in depth conversation yet and he didn't want anyone to realize what he got Lindsay to agree to. "Gus, your mom still thinks you are living here. She thinks you are going to be picked up by us after school and then spend the night with us since its silly for you to be brought back to sleep. She just hasn't figured out that this means that you aren't here."
Gus looked at his father and frowned. "How come she doesn't get that if I stay with you at night and you pick me up after school, I'm not here?"
Brian did not want to tell Gus that his mother was so concerned with her career and making excuses for Melanie that she didn't realize what she agreed to. He never wanted his son to feel that he was unimportant and did not come first. "She is really tired tonight and has a couple of big projects at work that are keeping her busy."
Gus thought for a minute and then frowned. "So when she gets those done, she'll be picking me up again?" Gus looked at his father's eyes, imploring him to watch over him and take care of him, not leave him to his mother's whims.
"No. Your mother and momma are very busy with their work. I'm sure that when this project ends, there will be another one to take its place." Brian glanced at the Mickey Mouse clock on the desk and realized he needed to get home. He had a spouse to talk to and a little boy to kiss goodnight. "Gus, don't worry about it. Justin or I will pick you up after school tomorrow and we'll go shopping for some PJ's and toothbrush. Why don't you pack your Yoda and Luke in your backpack?"
Gus looked at all his toys in his room. "Daddy, how am I going to get my stuff? If I don't sleep here, I can't bring my toys to your house."
Brian hadn't thought about Gus' toys. He was attached to many of them and he had a set rotation of what he brought to Britin. He didn't want to make a big production of coming in the muncher's house and taking Gus' stuff. It would raise too many red flags. He wanted Lindsay and Melanie to enjoy their busy lives without thinking about Gus. Coming over to gather his toys and clothes would alert them to his intentions.
"We'll come by this weekend and get some stuff. We'll tell your moms you need it for the weekend. They are used to you being with Justin and me during the weekend. We can come over for a few weeks and take more of your stuff with us each time. Just stuff your backpack."
"But what about my clothes?"
Brian cringed. "We'll buy you new clothes. You do not need to look like your clothes were bought at the Gap and Big Q. You're 10 now and can start dressing in nicer things." He knew Justin would fight him on the clothes thing. Justin was always telling Brian that Gus was a little boy and he should be allowed to run and play in the dirt. While Justin did not play outside much as a child, he appreciated that Gus was all boy and loved climbing and playing in the dirt. His clothes were always getting holes in them or had permanent stains from his rough play.
"Gus, I need to read your story and you need to go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow and we can talk more then. I love you." He kissed the little boy and opened the book to read him the story. After a few pages, Gus couldn't keep his eyes open. Brian pulled up the covers and put the book back on the night stand. He shut off the light and walked down stairs.
Lindsay was sitting on the couch reading a magazine and looked up when she heard Brian.
"That was a long story. Everything okay?"
"Yes, everything is fine. I'll pick up Gus tomorrow and we'll keep him overnight and take him to school." Brian stated the facts, not leaving any doubt that this was how things were going to proceed.
"Sure. We appreciate it so much, Brian. Our jobs don't leave a lot of leisure time." Lindsay leaned over and gave Brian a kiss on the cheek as they walked to the door.
As soon as Brian walked to the car, a huge smile found its way to his face. "That was even easier than I thought, but Gus has a point about his stuff," he said out loud as he turned the key in the ignition. He pulled the car into the street and drove to Britin.
Justin was on the couch in the media room when Brian arrived home. He was reading an Art Forum magazine and looked up as Brian walked in the room. He smiled at his spouse and watched him go to the drink cart to make himself a shot of Beam. Brian motioned to Justin to see if he wanted anything and Justin nodded yes. He fixed Justin a shot and brought it over to his partner.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. I wonder if I ever really knew Lindsay," Brian said as he took a drink from his glass. He looked into the glass, watching the amber liquid slosh in its confines. He knew there were no answers in the glass, but he still looked down.
Justin waited for Brian to continue. His mind filled with at least a dozen retorts to his comment, but he would wait. He took a drink from his tumbler and laid down the magazine, placing it on the coffee table. He glanced at the baby monitor sitting next to the stack of magazines and saw Colin was sound asleep. The monitor showed the time as well and he calculated they had about an hour before he would wake for his last meal.
"Oh Brian, I want you to be the father of our child. You have such great genes. Oh Brian, don't you want to say hi to your son? Your son hasn't seen you for a while, don't you want to come for dinner? Blah blah blah." Brian said as he raised his voice in a bit of a falsetto.
Brian tipped his glass and finished all the liquor in one swallow. He got up to fix another glass, but left the tumbler on the liquor cart and went to the window to look out at the grounds. He turned toward Justin and asked, "Tell me, Justin, do people really think children stay babies forever? Don't they realize that babies grow up and you have to make room in your life for them? Is this such a hard concept?" Brian returned to the couch and ran his hand through his hair several times and looked at Justin, finally acknowledging he was ready to have a conversation.
"I don't know Brian. I know we talked about Colin a lot while Cynthia was pregnant. We discussed how our lives were going to change and how we might not be able to do all the things we were currently doing."
"Exactly," Brian said as he nodded in agreement.
"But we still had to make adjustments. Remember, before we hired Chloe? We barely saw each other and were exhausted. I didn't have time to paint and sex was certainly on the back burner." Justin frowned as he remembered that difficult time. While both men knew intellectually that their lives would change when the baby arrived, the reality of the interruptions in their daily life was still surprising.
"It was stressful, but we talked about it and figured out a solution. We knew our priorities. We didn't want to sacrifice any of the important parts of our lives. Our marriage was just as important as our careers and our family. Hiring Chloe to take care of Colin was a perfect solution. We could dedicate the days to our careers and the evenings and weekends were for family. Sure, our sex life isn't what it used to be and we can't just have a quickie in the kitchen when the children are awake, but that is a small price to pay for our children." Brian said. The last sentence was in reference to the many times Lindsay and Michael attempted to push the sex issue in Brian's face. They still saw Brian as the stud of Liberty Avenue; the man who had sex on his mind 24/7, not the husband and father who, for the most part, relegated sex to the bedroom behind closed doors.
Brian wanted a drink, but he had learned that alcohol was not the solution to life's problems. He wasn't trying to drown his problems, but he wanted something to do with his hands. Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of water, twisting off the cap and taking several drinks from it. The cold liquid sliding down his throat was in stark contrast to the heat of his body. Returning to the media room, he sat on the other end of the couch from Justin.
"Lindsay is more worried about a hair appointment so she can look good at some damn opening than she is about attending Gus' soccer game." Placing the bottle of water on the coaster that was on the coffee table, he looked at Justin, watching his facial expressions. Justin was adept at hiding his feelings when he needed to but with Brian, he was an open book.
Justin listened to Brian's tirade, hearing the anger behind the words. Michael and Lindsay were supposedly his husband's closest friends, but neither accepted Brian was not the same man from a decade ago, that he had changed. Michael constantly whined about Brian's lack of time to go to the clubs or hang out and shoot a few games of pool. He remembered Brian telling him about their conversation a few days ago where Brian had invited him to their home to hang out after the kids went to bed, but Michael wanted Brian to come into the city instead. He didn't seem to get that Brian's priority was his family not hanging out in a bar.
In his opinion, Lindsay's behavior was worse than Michael's. Lindsay convinced Brian to donate his sperm so she could have a child with her partner, Mel, and insisted that Brian was just the donor. However, when Gus was born, she acted like Brian was actually the father, albeit a "part time" one and she pushed for him to see the child and be a part of his life, attempting to guilt him into fatherhood. When Brian decided he wanted to be a part of his son's life, she changed her mind, making it difficult for him to spend time with his son. Making excuses for it not being a good time or stating his presence would confuse Gus, he'd had to fight to have Gus stay with them on the weekends. Now, when she decided that Gus was just too much work and his activities took up too much time, she encouraged Brian to be more involved.
"It bothers you that Lindsay doesn't want to make Gus a priority," Justin said quietly, hating to put into words the reality of the situation. He reached out to Brian, palms up, encouraging him to put his hands in Justin's.
Brian placed his hands in Justin's for a few moments but removed them, message received. "Yes. I know what it's like not to be wanted. For as long as I could remember, my dad reminded me daily that I should never have been born and my mom should have had an abortion. Mom wasn't much better. She never stopped the old man from his tirades and well...." Brian stopped, taking a deep breath before continuing. He reached out for the water bottle and took another drink, returning it the table. "She turned a fucking blind eye to everything, drinking herself into oblivion every fucking day."
Justin wished he could magically change Brian's childhood, but he couldn't. It angered him that Brian was hurting. "You want Gus to grow up loved and not question if he is wanted." Justin spoke in a soft voice, trying to calm his partner. He watched the time on the baby monitor and realized they only had a few minutes to finish this discussion before Colin would wake up. While Colin was too young to understand the conversation, he would be able to feel the tension in his parent's voice and bodies.
"Fucking right I do. I know what it's like to be unwanted and I don't want any child of mine to feel that way. While Gus isn't being hit, Mel and Lind's indifference is having an impact on him. I'm going to provide him a home where he is wanted."
"I know you will." Hearing the words, he hesitantly asked, "So you talked to Lindsay?" Justin reached out for Brian's hand this time, not giving him an invitation, but taking it in his own and squeezing it, showing his support and love for his husband.
Brian smiled for the first time since he came home. "Oh, did I fail to mention that Lindsay agreed to have Gus stay with us after school and spend the night. Seems it's really fucking inconvenient to find someone to watch him after school and in the evenings as they are "so very busy" with their jobs and J.R.. I just mentioned that Gus' soccer season was ending this week and we didn't mind having him after school. I then explained that it was silly for us to take him home just so he could sleep. She informed me that Mel and she were just having that same discussion earlier in the week. About it being silly for him to come home just to sleep. When I offered to have him stay with us in the evening and we'd take him to school, her face lit up like fucking lights on a Broadway Marquee. You'd think she'd been given a million dollars instead of me offering to parent my own son."
"So we have him? That was easy. I'm so happy!!!" Justin leaned over and hugged and kissed Brian.
Brian kissed him back but backed out of the hug after a few minutes. "Not quite that easy. When I went to read Gus his story and tuck him in, he asked a big question that I hadn't thought about. He wanted to know how he was going to get his toys and clothes."
"He's right," Justin said, realizing that neither of them had thought about them. "What are we going to do? Should we just plan on renting a truck and getting his stuff over the weekend?"
"No. While Lindsay didn't argue with my offer, I don't think she really thought the implications through. After all, she just agreed that Gus is basically living here all the time. She hasn't talked to the bulldyke that she's married to. I doubt Mel would feel so agreeable to having Gus here all the time. After all, she loses her built in babysitter and while J.R. is her kid, I doubt she pays a whole lot more attention to her than she does Gus."
"I hadn't thought about Mel. Do you think she will give us problems?"
"Most likely. She hates my guts and wouldn't ever admit that we are better parents than she and Lindsay. She'd rather Gus have a difficult time than admit we were better equipped to take care of him."
"So what are we going to do? Gus is right. He needs his clothes and his toys are important to him. I guess we could buy him new stuff." Justin knew that money was not a concern, but wasn't sure that buying Gus all new toys was a good option either. He felt that the boy had way too many toys, probably in response to his parents' guilt that they didn't pay as much attention to him as they should. When they got his toys here, he vowed they would really go through them and determine the ones to keep and the ones to donate. He had a feeling once Gus was in a caring environment where he was interacted with, his needs for all his "favorite" toys would be greatly diminished.
"Your half right. His clothes need replacing. It's a disgrace that a son of Brian Kinney is dressed with clothing from the Gap and Big Q. But his toys and books need to come here. I told him we would go to his house "to visit" over the weekend and he would just stuff his backpack with as many items as he could fit in there. We could probably get away with bringing home a few bags of toys for a few weeks until all his prized possessions were here."
"That's a great idea," Justin smiled, feeling the pulse slow in his body as the anxiety dissipated. Brian had obviously been thinking of solutions as soon as Gus mentioned the problem.
"I always have good ideas. After, all, I let you marry me," he said tongue in cheek.
"But what about Mel? And don't you think Lindsay is going to realize that she basically gave you custody of Gus?"
"I have some ideas about the custody thing, but for now, I hear our other son rustling in his crib and I think we need to feed him and get him ready for bed. Then I think it will be time for us to go to bed. After all, tomorrow our family increases by one little 10 year old and we have one last night where sex anywhere in the house isn't going to be taboo. We might just have to sacrifice and mark a few surfaces one last time."
Justin laughed at his suggestion. "I think I like your idea. I hear our son crying so I think he is awake. Why don't you go get him while I get his bottle ready? You missed his dinner feeding and I know you'd enjoy it."
"Sounds like a plan." Brian leaned over and kissed Justin quickly on the lips, looking forward to their lovemaking later on.
TBC