CHAPTER THREE:  A FLASH OF US: A NEW NORMAL

MELANIE:

The vibration of my phone distracts me as I try to concentrate on the conversation between those of us remaining in the Diner. To my mind, it is probably only fucking Lindsay, calling to berate me for allowing the police to arrest her without representation. Entitled much? She should know better than to call me, considering not only what she did to me last night but what she had been doing to Gus for more time than I have no choice but to think about. Between her and Michael, as far as I’m concerned, they can both can take a long walk off a short pier head-first into hell!

I almost can’t believe the hateful, and hate-filled litany that came out of Michael’s mouth as he stood out there and continued to spew the vomit-inducing words that put his true feelings and intentions on full display to everyone in the building. But the question of whether he was really speaking Deb’s thoughts still remains in question. I mean, it would stand to reason that he’d picked up that kind of venom from somewhere. And honestly, who is the first person to teach us anything?

Buzz…. Buzz…. Buzzzz. I silence the phone’s vibration again. 

“Do you really think she feels that way?” Emmett finally asks the question I know is going around in each of our minds. His heartbreak at hearing the evidence of all our collective fears evident even as he pulls Daphne into his arms, needing the comfort.

“I don’t know,” Jennifer answers. “And honestly, we all have no way of knowing, despite the surety of how Michael spoke those words. So, right now, until we know for sure through her actions, I suggest we don’t buy into the bull. There will be time enough to prove or disprove his theories.”

“Besides, we have more important things to talk about right now. Such as, when you two got married, and how the hell did THAT happen?” Daphne suggested. 

“Long story short, we decided to try it out…” Brian began, looking at Justin

“For a night,” Justin interjected.

“But, well…”

“So far, we also decided that we like it.”

“Okay, but for how long?” Daphne asks the question that I know just popped into all our minds.

But admittedly, Brian’s answer surprised us all. “As every one of us in this room knows personally, nothing is guaranteed. But that said, I wouldn’t be placing bets on how long we last.”

And you know, that answer was so Brian and Justin that none of us could find the slightest bit of fault in it. These two always march to the beat of their own drum, and the rest of societal conventions be damned. They live each moment, while planning for tomorrow, but they have this adaptable quality to them that is both scary and enviable. They are so different than anyone I have ever met, and somehow out of billions of people walking this earth, they’ve found each other. And what’s even more stunning is that age can’t even be considered a factor in this equation because it’s their personal philosophies that bind them together; something that I discounted at one time like everybody else until my talk with Justin that not-so-long ago night.

And as I continue to watch how they are with each other, I realize that I’ve never had this kind of connection with Lindsay. I had it with... It’s what I want for myself, and I want it with Leda again. I look over at her then, and I can tell that she’s having the same exact thoughts. I suppose that this is a conversation she and I need to have, and soon. I honestly don’t want to wait. 

In fact, I think I’ve waited way too long to start feeling alive again.

As the conversation turns to what we walked in on, my phone rings yet again. No one else noticed, except Brian, who gives me a questioning look while gesturing to the phone which starts to immediately buzz again. Rolling his eyes at me, he reaches for it, prepared to answer it on my behalf if it’s her. And although part of me wants to yell at him for snatching it from me, I also want to fall into a puddle at his feet. Because more than anything, at this moment, I finally understand how Brian’s protective gene really works.

Looking down at the caller ID, he tells me, “I think you need to answer this. It’s not who you think it is, but Maureen.”

“My assistant?”

“That’s what the screen is flashing,” he says, sarcastically. Then reaches out to grasp Gus’ stroller. “I got him, you go take care of that. Donaldson probably had her call you to get the whole story of what happened last night. I mean, one of his top attorneys being involved in a domestic dispute, even if it isn’t her fault, is something that needs to be analyzed and addressed before it hits the news. If I was in his position, I would want to talk to my employee- a partner in my firm- as soon as possible, too.

And I know he’s right, even if it’s something I would rather not do. I’ve worked incredibly hard to keep most of my private life away from the professional, except for when I needed to attend business functions which Lindsay attended with me on occasion. I never wanted or needed the hint of scandal to ride my coattails the way others sometimes did. To me, I always wanted my win-loss ratio to do my speaking for me, which is how I recently made partner at the firm I’d started off as a paralegal in. But now, the very thing I’ve never wanted is about to come back and bite me in the ass, and all because I got involved with an attention-whore…

“Okay, but don’t talk about anything really important until I get back in here. And don’t make any plans, either! I want to know firsthand what we’re going to do.”

He nods, even as I head to the door. Situating myself against the front of the building, I take a few deep breaths before calling Maureen back. It’s not that I have anything to lie about; just that I don’t like having my personal life and decisions under such close scrutiny. It’s unnerving in the extreme. But considering that Lindsay will probably call her parents, or even try to persuade Lynette to use her high-society influence to get her out of the shit she’s in, I acknowledge that it’s better to get all of this out into the open now.

“Hey, Maureen. What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, Ms. Marcus. But Mr. Donaldson asked me to call you. You need to get to court within the next hour… in time for the afternoon sessions to begin.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Most of my case had gone to verdict before the botched wedding… well, all except three. But they aren’t due back for at least another week. “Is everything okay?”

“As far as I know everything is, but… well, Judge Harris has made his decision in the Spitzer Pharmaceutical case. I’ve already called the clients and they are going to meet you there. And although Harry is going to meet you there, he thought you might want to hear the verdict in person.”

I look down at myself, almost shaking in embarrassment at the sight I must look like. Although I’ve showered and changed, I still haven’t had the heart to go back to the house. Fuck! All of my suits, my files, and briefcase are there. I can’t show up to court less than presentable! I… I…

“Ms. Marcus, are you still there?” Maureen’s concerned voice comes over line, pulling me back from the panic attack of epic proportions I feel coming on. 

Although the case is high-profile, we’ve managed to keep all the major players- including the names of the attorneys working on both sides- quiet. That will end today with the verdict, no matter the outcome. As my mind continues to race, I realize the one thing that would have made me physically ill just nine months ago… I need Brian Kinney.

“Yes, I’m here, Maureen. I’m not at home at the moment, but I will try to get everything I need to get to the courthouse as quickly as possible. In the meantime, tell Harry to speak to call a brief meeting with Judge Harris and Judge Barrows, whom I was with this morning regarding a personal matter. It will explain why I’m going to be running a bit late.”

“Will do. I’ll make those calls now. Is there anything else?”

“Yes. If either Lindsay or any of the Petersons call, tell them that I will not speak to them directly and to call Thomas Gabriel, who is my personal attorney. Beyond that, I have nothing to say to them.” 

BRIAN

Even from here, I can see Melanie’s agitation. I can’t help but wonder what fresh fucking hell is coming for her and us this time. It seems like every time Justin and I have turned around in the last few months, the world has been trying to shake beneath us to swallow us whole, beginning with the loft robbery, straight through to last night. But as always, we have a never-say-die attitude and continue to deliver the metaphorical middle finger at everything that tries to tear us down, emotionally and mentally. But generally that’s how life went, so all we can do is keep moving forward and fuck all the rest.

“So let me get this straight…” Justin said, silently fuming. “Lindsay intended to involve Craig in her and Michael’s plan, after hearing from Ronald that Brian is no longer employed at what is now Ryder-Vanguard?”

“That’s what she told him, right before advising him that we were in the process of regaining control of your trust from him,” Tatum told us. Then she snorted derisively. “Honestly… high people should never try to think rationally or whisper. Even though it’s highly-entertaining when they do, their supposed intelligence always leaves a lot to be desired.”

“That’s pretty accurate for Lindsay, but what’s Deb’s and her ingrate’s excuse?” Jennifer’s mother, Suzette, asks rhetorically. The twinkle in her eyes is the same one I’ve seen both Jennifer and Justin have when they are being particularly vicious, no matter that they still look somewhat innocent and guileless. It truly is a gift!

Originally, when I was told that Justin’s grandparents were meeting us at the Diner, I couldn’t help the feeling of abject panic that almost overtook me. I mean, sure, they love Justin and would do anything for him. But at the mention of their names, I couldn’t stop the feeling that they would judge me, and somehow find me lacking. At that moment, it didn’t matter that I was- to date- a self-made, self-assured man. All that mattered was that they could accept Justin’s decision, which just happens to be me.

But, so far they’ve all been gracious and humorous in the most unexpected ways. Even though they are all high society, they are also so down-to-earth that it was almost impossible not to want to stand there gawking with your mouth hanging open in surprise at the things they have no compunction in saying. Because I’ve been growing more and more familiar with Jennifer, it was less of a shock to take when it conversing with Suzette. I mean, this is a woman who could make something as dirty as ‘Check the batteries in my dildo before you fuck me with it’ sound as proper as ‘Will you be having wine with your dinner?’ Yet in this environment, she’s just as relaxed as I would imagine she would be as one of the ruling families within the Country Club sect. 

But it was that kind of revelation which made the reality of Craig’s parents even more jaw dropping. Having had run-ins with him, the last thing I could have ever imagined was that he sprung forth from approachable people. It wasn’t that he was just haughty, but in retrospect, there was a bit of fear, too. But unlike what he’d tried to get Justin to believe about his grandparents and his status within his family, it’s now become obvious that there was some other reason Craig was hellbent on keeping Justin as a token closted heir to his ‘family’ name. But… no, that can’t be it either, unless…

“Well there’s only one thing I can say to that,” Justin says, through gritted teeth which catches my attention immediately.

“Sunshine, what are you thinking?” I ask, as he pulls out his cellphone.

“It's not about what I'm thinking, Brian, but what I'm doing that's about to cause a tidal wave."

"And just what is that, Jussie?" Charles asks, eyes fixed on his grandson. But what's even more surprising- although I suppose it shouldn't be- is that Jen, Tatum and Suzette all have the same look of concentration on their own faces.

I believe this is the evidence of what Justin's said to me many times over the past few months that I've known him. He said that it's their way of listening more acutely for the things left unsaid, than what is. I just simply call it that Jedi-midtricking shit whenever Justin employs the same methods on me. It's both disconcerting and scary as hell! But in a lot of ways, it's also comforting to know that even when there are things I can't voice... yet, he always seems to know exactly what I mean.

He smiles at his mom and grandparents then. "No need for undue worry, Parental Unit. I'm simply keeping a promise I made when we were leaving Ryder’s the other day."

"He's right, everyone," Cynthia cuts in. "Ronald Peterson was warned about his loose lips repeatedly during the meeting."

"I'm not surprised that he ran his mouth. He's more gossipy than most women I know," Tatum huffed before continuing. "But I still think you need to tell us, Jussie, if for no other reason than to give us the ammunition to dispel a few myths and sink some ships of our own."

He laughs lightly, shaking his head at his grandparents, and it's then that I see just where and how Justin was taught the art of strategy from a young age. What's funny is that I'm sure that there will be other lessons along the way that Justin hasn't even been taught yet. And holy shit! Those lessons are also going to extend to me because I married him. Hell, I'll probably find myself using some of them to get Justin around to my way of thinking sometimes.

I snicker internally at where my thoughts just took me for a moment. It's going to be a pleasure to learn from all of them.

Justin begins to lay out the details of our final meeting at my former place of employment for them. "First, Ronald was instructed not to mention any of the details that happened within that office to anyone outside of it. That directive also included Nancy and Lindsay. Since they are cut from the same cloth of Can't mind their own damn business, it stood to reason that if one of them knew, so would the other."

"But you don't mention Lynette. Why?" Suzette asks.

"Mostly because she can't stand her mother nor her sister," Justin answers matter-of-factly. "Out of all the Peterson women, she's the one with the most clout and the least amount of interests in what Brian and I are doing. Surely that kind of situation would burn Lindsay and Nancy up, thereby trying to pressure Lynette into doing their bidding. And although she is more apt to tell them to sit and spin on a rusty nail, she's also quick tempered when it comes to verbally sparring with Linsday, who has a talent for pushing people's buttons. So that is why Ronald was told not to share any information about our departure with anyone, which brings us to this next thing.

"The second fact in all of this is that he violated a very specifically-worded confidentiality clause we had put inside of that contract, which stated that if any employee or independent contractor affiliated with Ryder OR Vanguard Agencies were to disclose any vital information or specific terms that were discussed within the office, we would have the grounds and would take immediate legal action against both the culprit and the company. So, calling Gabriel is going to be ME honoring that promise, which is something both Ron Peterson alongside Ryder and Vance are about to appreciate regarding me in spades.”

And talk about the looks of pride aimed in his direction! It's as plain for anyone and everyone to see. What can I say other than Sunshine is a fucking awesome ally, but a deadly opponent. Melanie chose that moment to rush back inside, heading directly for us. “Hey, everything okay?” I ask, noting the small frown drawing her eyes together.

“Everything is fine… well, sort of. But... well, I need you.”

My first inclination is to make light of her obvious discomfort, so I do. I mean, who am I to deny myself the perfect opportunity to fuck with Mel; there have been precious few moments as of late. “Now, now, Smelly Melly, we’ve been over this. NO, my dick can not be borrowed without all of me attached to it. That would kinda lessen my mystique if it was allowed to run around free without my charm and rapier wit to accompany it.”

“Can it, asshole,” she demands, while snickering at the same time. That’s another testament to how far she and I have come since visiting Del’s that afternoon only a short time ago. God, it seriously seems like a lifetime ago now, since our lives have been one big episode of ‘GO’ since Justin and I accepted the job in California. 

“So, since it’s not my dick you want, it must be my other area of expertise…”

“Which is?” All three of Justin’s grandparents ask. Somehow they are not only interested in the conversation, but really curious about the answer.

But just as I’m about to answer, just about everyone in the place yells out,  “CLOTHES!!” I would glare and growl at them, but they’re right for once.

“So, what, as the newest member of my adoring fan club, do you need?”

“Jesus, Brian. Conceited much?” Mel rolls her eyes. But she didn’t say I was wrong, so I’ll work with that.

“Not at all. To be self-assured is much more classy than to be conceited; there’s a difference. Anyway, since that was your office, I imagine that you need to get to court?”

“Yeah, but I can’t go back to the house just yet,” she tells us as she begins to fidget and pace. I don’t even think she realizes that she’s begun to ramble and justify her need for me to help her get her shit together until she says, “It’s probably the biggest fucking case of my life, but I look and feel like a fucking train wreck! The reporters will probably have a field day speculating about how the lawyer for the plaintiffs’ reminds them of an abused, junkie housewife. Oh my God! The innuendos from the press, the background check they’ll no doubt do in order to confirm their suspicions, the…”

“Mel!” Justin yells, immediately drawing her attention. “Calm down. Brian will definitely help you, and if I know Em, he basically has an arsenal of must have makeup within his messenger bag over there. So calm down!”

He turns to me then, as I’m standing here trying to put everything Melanie said together about the case she’s been working on. A slight smile finds its way to my lips, even as I say the name of the company. “Spitzer Pharmaceuticals. That is the company you’ve been secretly trying the case against, isn’t it, Mel?”

Wide-eyed she asks, “How did you know that?”

“I know a bad risk when I see one.” She starts to protest but Cynthia’s loud laugh and Justin’s snicker immediately calms her down. 

“It’s not you, Mel,” Cynthia assures her. “It’s that Brian refused to work with that company when Ryder demanded he do it. The funny thing- or not so funny, depending on how the one named Marty will view it- is that when Brian basically told Ryder to either go fuck himself or assign the campaign to another account rep, Brian told him that it wouldn’t be long before they found themselves facing a tremendous lawsuit, either because of their meds or their discriminatory policies towards people within their employ who didn’t fit their lily white mold. Needless to say, Ryder disregarded Brian’s advice not to take the account and is probably scrambling to… Ahhh, that’s why they were ordering you back from your vacation so adamantly, Brian. It wasn’t just because of the sale, or more accurately this new merger of theirs. It’s because Bob and Brad’s job has been to do damage control as their advertising execs and publicists. The clowns of Barnum and Bailey circus are more qualified for the job than the two of them.”

“Well what did he expect from two people who seem to share the IQ of a raindrop and all the charm of a wet noodle?” Justin asks.

“Damn, that’s cold, Sunshine. And here I thought I was being cruel just threatening to fire them at every turn.”

“I would apologize, but Mom’s here, and I’m not enduring that particular lecture,” he retorts, wryly, causing all of us to laugh. “So the jury must be back then?”

“No jury. The head of the company decided to let the judge go over all the evidence and hours of witness accounts and affidavit testimony. It was supposed to take a few more weeks, but… well, he’s called for us to be there this afternoon.”

I can certainly understand Mel’s panic at this moment. Like it or not, this case, which has managed to be one of the very few to be kept under wraps from beginning to whatever its inevitable conclusion, is going to either make or break Melanie’s career. Yes, she’s a partner in the firm she’s been working in for the last ten years. But whatever this news is, it’s going to be known not only nationally, but is going to ripple across international waters as well. I think if I was Mel, I probably wouldn’t trust myself to dress me either. 

“Well, let me call Ernie and see if he has a suit on hand to fit you without you having to be remeasured. I doubt that you’ve picked up or lost enough weight for the cut not to compliment anyway.”

“Wait a minute! How do you know that? I didn’t…”

“Remember the suit you wore to your partners induction dinner? The one where you were introduced publicly to all of the neighboring firms and their affiliates?”

“Yeah. Lindsay acted an uppity ass that night,” Mel sneers in remembrance.

“But you had to know she would.”

“That’s beside the point, Brian, and you know it!”

“I do know it. Anyway, I had Ernie alter and tastefully embellish your suit at her request. Believe me, she acted like a total uppity ass there, too. But fortunately for me- not her mind you- Ernie knew exactly how to handle her so that I wouldn’t have to.”

“Ooh, what did he do?” Cynthia asked, since she also goes to him. 

Mel gasped, and then laughed. “So that’s why she always seemed to have a potty emergency that night, huh?”

“Yep. He said that since she was acting shitty as a bull, he would turn her into a docile heifer by the end of the night. It worked.”

“So it did!” Melanie laughed again. “By the time she got home, she looked absolutely exhausted and ended up falling asleep in the unnecessary ball gown she wore. Of course, that was apparently part of her mood, even though I tried to warn her beforehand that none of the other wives were going to be that dressed since it was mostly a business dinner. But, as per usual, when she doesn’t want to hear something, her ears automatically turn off.”

“That’s true. So I’m going to call Ernie and have your suit delivered down here. I’m sure that you can change in the back. Ted, can you go by the house and grab Mel’s briefcase?”

He nods and she tells him it should be under the table in the foyer of the house. I understand exactly why she doesn’t want to go in there right now. Lindsay really did a number in there from what I saw briefly last night, and Mel just doesn’t need to be reminded of that shit right now. I turn to Emmett to give him my next order, but he’s already sending Daphne out the door. 

“Sweetie, head on over to Jolene’s and get Mel a pair of kick ass pumps to strut herself up in that courthouse as if she owns it. Black, size seven-and a half. Generally the cut of the shoes run a little big because it’s where all the queens go. But Jole also services the lipstick lesbians and always has some gems put aside for them. Tell her that I sent you and that it’s for Mel. Trust me, she’ll have just what we need.”

Daph nods and then flies out the door. As the milling about begins around the Diner again, I know that Justin is still thinking about the situation with Ron Peterson. Once I finish the call with Ernie, I bumped my shoulder lightly into him. When he looks up, I once again see just how angry he is about this situation. I'm already thinking of all I have to do in order to hide the bodies, and get us the fuck out of town before the police can pin a murder on him. First things first is to go shopping for nondescript clothing in Ted's closet because a man in these particular Diesel jeans would be hard to miss. But Ted... well, he needs to update his wardrobe but until he does, it's better than stepping foot into the Big Q.

"You know, you can stop looking at me as if we need to start planning how to live off grid for the next five years. I'm feeling vengeful, not homicidal."

I would ask him how he knows that but again, I don't have to. "So what exactly are you thinking?" I could come up with a million things, including exactly which outfit of Ted's to wear, but his next words surprise me since it's the very last thing on my own mind.

“I think I’m going to keep the store, but hire a manager and change the name a bit.”

“Why do I have the feeling that I should be both excited and scared at the same time?”

“Because you probably should be,” he tells me, flashing that billion dollar smile again before sobering. “Also, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.”

“Good or bad?”

“I guess that depends on how you look at it.”

I sigh, before asking the dreaded question. “Well, what is it?”

“I want to buy Buzzy’s and Thorton’s book store, both of which have come up for sale. Irma and Buzzy both want to retire, and don’t want to have to worry about collecting rent or do anything else business related.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Remember that I needed to see the Thompkins’ while I’m here regarding the commissioned furniture I agreed to design for them?” I nod so he continues. “Well, Irma is Mrs. Thompkins’ best friend. She wants to move, but feels kind of trapped since it’s the only major booksource in this area. The closest Barnes is over a half hour away, and honestly, the area is prime real estate and needs to be built up. Only a wall separates Buzzy’s from Thortons, but whereas Irma has been utilizing all three floors of her business, Buzzy hasn’t. So I’m thinking that if we join them from top to bottom, we can not only have a bookstore worthy of competing against Barnes, but also we can have room to spare to make it a real cafe/ lounge which will generate a steady source of residual income for us.”

“And?”

“And?”

“And I know you, Sunshine. There’s more to all of this sudden need to acquire property in a town we aren’t even going to be living in full-time anymore.”

After a few moments of studying me, he admits, “Yes, there is. And although I’m not generally a vengeful person, I won’t deny that the appeal to be so is there full force. Will it give me great pleasure to take over Buzzy’s and then ban Michael from it? It sure the fuck WILL! But, is that my sole reason for wanting to buy the bookstores? No, it’s not. Remember what I said about my upbringing, Brian. For me, it’s all about the acquisition, so this is no different.”

“And the name regarding Taylor Electronics?”

“It will just be a matter of adding my NEW last name to it. So it will be called Taylor-KINNEY Electronics, which not only explains the seemingly sudden transfer of ownership from Craig to me, but also announces just who the fuck I am. It’s also a fact that will keep Craig from thinking he imagined the whole thing. There’s a real good possibility that he’ll stay as far away as he can from any of the stores bearing the name.”

“There’s also the possibility that he won’t, or will try to hire someone to blow all of them up.”

“What a horrible thing to say, but I’ve thought about that possibility, too. So, not only will the stores have round the clock security both inside and outside, but the security footage will also be monitored off-site so there will not be any way to alter any footage. Let me be clear, Brian. I don’t trust Craig any further than Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles can see. But I won’t let him, or the ideas of what he could or might do, mess with our future. You asked me once before what I wanted.”

“And what have you decided?”

“That I want to be your husband, but I also want to be independently wealthy. And I don’t mean just any kind of wealthy, Brian. I want to be a multi-millionaire by the time I’m twenty-five, which means I have a shit ton of work to do between now and then.”

“Wait though. Why the rush?” I ask, trying to fully understand why this goal is so important to him. I automatically know, even before his words give me the confirmation.

“Molly will be ready to begin adulthood by that time, Brian. Which means college, and a host of other things that she’s going to need. Now, I intend on setting up a nest egg for her, but to do that, I will also have to split up my own earnings. If I look at what my part of the account is right now, on the surface, it’s not doing too bad. In fact, it’s looking very healthy. However, I won’t have Mom struggling to take care of Molly solely by herself, and we both know that Craig isn’t going to do a fucking thing to help, even though she is still legally his responsibility. So that leaves me; and it means that I can’t be selfish. But what it does mean is that I just have to work hard, play harder, and still be a man I can look at in the mirror with pride and honor. I just need to know that you’ll support me through it. Can you do that?”

I draw him close to me, kissing the top of his head as he snuggles into my arms while we’re standing here. I close my eyes to inhale the crisp clean scent that always seems to follow Justin, along with that other enticing smell simply known as Justin. I lean down a bit until my lips graze the shell of his ear. “Of course, I’ll support you, Sunshine. Just do me a favor and don’t burn out, or forget that you have a husband who is going to require your attention as well.”

“I won’t, Brian.”

I know that he would never do it intentionally, but well… Life happens, even to married couples who have been in love for years. I know that I will have to be patient with him, since really mine and Justin’s work ethic when I was his age are exactly mirror images of each others’. The problem though, is that while I was completely unattached, I’m just selfish enough not to let Justin go for any reason. So yeah, we’re going to have to find a balance between work and play, but will also have to include parenting Gus. 

Sure, Mel is going to be around, but we can’t leave her to act as a single mother while demanding that she forgets about her own career, as we’re constantly pursuing our own. That’s not fair to her, and it’s chauvinistic to even consider such a thing. So between the three of us, we’re going to have to learn the art of compromise. I just hope that Donaldson has a chance to talk to her after court today. She’ll be less likely to backtalk him or metaphorically try to kick him in the balls.

And with that thought in mind, along with the timely arrivals of Ted, Daph and Ernie, it’s time for me and Queen Em to go work our magic on Cinder-fucking-Mella. The sooner we do, and the sooner she accepts the possibility that Harry is about to lay out to her, the happier we will all be.