Chapter 6 ~ Too Little And Too Late

“Every heart breaks the same” 

~Louis Tomlinson~ 

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Brian’s point of view, Saturday afternoon

It takes us a bit longer to tend to the animals now because my arm is still a mess. It’s been days since I took the cast off but I have such little strength in it. The robot won’t work so we have to use the crappy old milking machines, and the cows hate them and constantly try to kick them off. Because of all this I don’t come back to the house until well after midday. When I enter his room I find Justin crying in his bed, his back is turned to the door. I hurry over to him as dirty as I am and put my hand on his shoulder.

“Sunshine… come here… do you need more painkillers?”  He sits up and crawls into my arms. I hold him while he calms down. I think he still has a fever.

“No… It’s not that...” he looks at me; his beautiful blue eyes loaded with despair. 

“Cynthia says Kira didn’t come back. She went shopping with Joan this morning… I think… I’m afraid for her.“

I thought back to Jason and Aunt Janet. We all wondered if Jack and Joan had told us the truth. And now maybe Kira is missing too. It’s very likely that she had been taken to some place, maybe… oh fuck. Justin is right. A few days ago I heard Jack talk about how they needed to make chances with the special delivery for Stockwell. I suddenly remembered something Janet said after she started going to that school thing or whatever it was. “I don’t want to be special”.

I don’t think Stockwell is a place. Maybe that's the client's name. Could there be special clients? Guys who don't come to the farm?  And because Justin is sick… maybe then Kira got sent instead of him… 

I don't want to upset him with my fears so I just fake calmness and kept stroking his head. “Perhaps she has gone to a better place” I tell him quietly. He gives me a no nonsense look. 

“Brian, I know that you know it’s not ok. I don't want to stay here after I'm better, I think I'm next. I need you to get me out of here. I’m well enough to walk if you help me. If I can sleep some more I want us to go tonight. Can you do that?”

Before I can promise him anything I notice he’s about to fall back to sleep. He’s definitely not well enough to go anywhere. But Hunter and I can carry him. It’s time to make some plans with the others. We all need to go. But I'm so tired, I'll just close my eyes for a minute and then go talk to the others… just a few seconds… 

It’s late afternoon the next time my eyes open, I realize I must have fallen asleep next to Justin in my filthy clothes. I get up and wash and put on fresh clothes. After I talk to the others I go back to Justin to see how he’s feeling and tell him our plans. I wake him up and give him a dry set of clothes to wear because his are drenched with sweat. Maybe his fever is finally coming down now for real. While he removes his wet underwear not at all shy in front of me, I tell him I talked to the others and that we all agreed that since Kira didn’t come back we need to leave. We are all ready to leave as soon as it gets dark and we’re gonna carry him if he can’t walk. 

But we never got that far. 

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 “Well well well, will you look at that. What are you two little fagots doing…hmm?” 

Somehow Jack has come upstairs without us noticing. Shit here comes trouble.

My body stiffens as I fly up from the bed ready to fight him but he is quicker than me. Grabbing me he pushes me up against the wall so that my head hits a bookshelf or something, Ouch… that hurt. I can hear Justin screaming my name then everything goes dark. When I come to Justin is sitting on the floor next to me and Cynthia is dragging an unconscious Jack out of the room. “Stay still, your head is bleeding.

“Shit, Justin, get back to bed” I reach for the bump on the back of my head, “It’s just a scratch, I’m fine, get back into bed.” I was lying to him. It hurts a lot and will probably take a while to heal. “What the fuck happened?” 

“Cynthia hit him over the head with the chair.” 

Cynthia comes back into the room. “I’ll stay with him Brian. You should go and hide before your father wakes up”

“Shit Cynthia he’s going to kill you!”

“I wish...”  that’s all she says. I exchanged a look with her and started to leave the room. 

As I get out of the room I meet Joan. Her facial expression is passive as usual. I’m sure she heard Jack and me fight. She steps over my father as if he’s not even there and does a good job of pretending not to notice my bleeding head. She’s holding a glass of water in her hand. She directs her words to Justin as she hands him some pills and a glass of water. 

“Your mother called, she’s on her way to pick you up, take these and get ready.”  She then leaves the room and we hear her rouse Jack “Get up, pull yourself together, we have fancy company later, be ready”

Justin and I just stare at each other. This was the last thing we unexpected. But this is good, isn’t it?  His eyes told me he’s unsure. “Why would she want me all of a sudden… How can I know she isn’t with them?”

“Don’t you think she would have been here earlier if she was one of them? Why would she store you here for such a long time if she wanted to feed you to them anyway” He reluctantly agrees. 

I tell him that all that matters is that he is getting out. That everything is gonna be ok. 

“But I need you to get out too,” he says, tears in his eyes. 

I just stay silent… I'm scared as bloody fuck … but... if she comes and sees him, then for sure she'll take him to see a doctor, and that's the most important thing right now. This is about him and not me.

But that would also mean I'm  about to lose him. And maybe not see him again… and I really do not know how to process that.