It Don't Matter to Me
"Bri?"
"Hey, Mikey. What are you doing here?"
"I came to rescue you."
"I didn't know I needed rescuing."
"It's Friday night, Brian fucking Kinney does not stay home alone on Friday night, unless of course you have a trick waiting for you in the bedroom," Mikey said while straining to see up the bedroom steps.
"No, Mikey, no trick."
"Then why are you sitting alone in the dark when you could be fucking and getting sucked off in the backroom."
"Maybe I'm not in the mood."
"You feeling okay?" Mikey reached out to touch Brian's face.
"Yes, you asshole," Brian groused as he batted away Mikey's hand. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. It's been a long week, so many tricks, so little time."
"Now there's the stud I know and love. You know I love you, right." Mikey gazed at Brian hopefully.
"Yes, Mikey, I know and I love you too," Brian replied softly with a sigh. Some things never changed.
"You should forget him. Move on."
"Forget who, Michael?"
"That blond little shit. He'll never understand you; you're Brian Kinney for fuck's sake. You have a reputation to uphold....." Mikey went on and on with his brand of logic that only made sense to Michael.
To Brian it sounded like an old "Charley Brown" cartoon where all the adult voices sounded like horns, 'waa, waa, waa'. Brian nodded as Michael tried to make his point. Michael would never get it. He'd never get that there was a connection between Brian and Justin, something that would never go away. No form of pain management could cure it. Brian had come to that revelation a long time ago, and didn't bother to fight it. He had better things to do than to stick his dick up every doable asshole on this side of Pittsburgh. There was only one asshole he wanted. And it was attached to the most exasperating, most tenacious, most smartest, most beautiful and most trying man he had ever met.
The man in question, one Justin Taylor, was off again. Where, Brian wasn't quite sure. Was he with the fiddler, was he in LA, was he in New York? Justin was off doing something or someone far away from Brian. It really didn't matter; all that mattered to Brian was Justin's happiness. And the fact that he wasn't here in the loft with him at the moment. The man who was here was his annoying best friend with the goofy-assed smile trying to get Brian into Babylon.
"Fuck it! You made your point, Mikey. Now shut up and drive us to Babylon. If I'm going to have hear you whine all night I'll need plenty of Beam to do it with."
"Great, the guys will be happy to see you."
"Shit, that's all I need. Is everyone under the impression that I'm pining away?"
"Nah! I set them straight."
"Oh goody."
At Babylon the thumpa thumpa music was, well 'thumpaing.' Brian bought a round of drinks for the guys as every little twink in the place made it his point to parade himself in front of Brian. Brian was really not in the mood and shook his head no.
"Michael, there is something seriously wrong with Brian. I've never known him to turn down so many men before." Ted commented hoping for a Brian Kinney reject.
"Ted, honey, stop drooling over them, and he's turning them all down. This is very serious. Maybe we should find one that looks like, you know."
"Emmett, that's not a good idea, besides, he hated blonds before, you know."
"Well, maybe Brian Kinney has seen the light, because right now he's doing a wonderful impression of straight."
They were all watching Brian; it seemed all of Babylon was watching Brian. Brian downed another shot then grabbed at Mikey's wrist to check the time. It was about midnight. If you weren't hooked up for the night by now, you might never be. Ted and Emmett had that desperate air about them. Brian wasn't sure if he should pity them or himself. He pushed himself off the bar rail, hoping a plausible excuse would grace his lips but nothing came to him. So he said nothing, threw down some money onto the bar and turned to leave.
*****
A flash of blond white hair. The scent of man-child. A distinctive curve of the ass. A glimpse of dazzling smile.
"Hey."
"Hey. What took you…?"
"Flight delayed."
"Oh. Wanna dance?"
"Rather go home and fuck."
"I can do that."
*****
"Michael, who was that with Brian?"
"Who was who?"
"I don't know. I thought I saw Brian walking out with some blond. You don't suppose..."
"Couldn't be, Em. He's gone; I know that for a fact."
"I wouldn't be so sure if I was you, Michael. Those two have a way of finding each other."
"Ted, why would he want one scrawny little blond when he could have..."
"You?"
"No, anyone he chooses!?"
"Maybe it's that scrawny little blond, as you put it, that he wants."
"But why? Why after all they've been through, would HE matter to Brian? I don't get it."
"No, I guess you don't. Goodnight Michael."
"Night guys."
It Don't Matter To Me
It don't matter to me
If you really feel that
You need some time to be free
Time to go out searching for yourself
Hoping to find time to go to find
And it don't matter to me
If you take up with someone
Who's better than me
'Cause your happiness is all I want
For you to find peace your piece of mind
Lotta people have an ego hang-up
'Cause they want to be the only one
How many came before, it really doesn't matter
Just as long as you're the last
Everybody's moving on and try to find out
What's been missing in the past
And it don't matter to me
If your searching brings you back together with me
'Cause there'll always be
An empty room waiting for you
An open heart waiting for you
Time is on my side
'Cause it don't matter to me
It don't matter to me