Resist

Epilogue

Ten years later:

Brian held Justin's hand as they pulled up in front of the small house in Londonderry.

"Is this it?" Justin asked looking out the window of the cab.

"This is it - the place I grew up. Or maybe it's the place I grew. I didn't really grow up until I went to America and met you."

"How does it feel to be back?"

Brian hesitated. He wasn't sure how it felt, what he felt at this moment. It had been such a long time. He was saved from answering that question as the front door of the house was flung open and a middle aged man and woman rushed out.

"You better get out of the cab quick, or they'll be in here with us," Brian laughed as he opened the door on his side and stepped out.

The woman immediately grabbed him in a bone breaking hug and kissed all over Brian's face. Justin could hear Brian moaning, "Ma, Ma, Ma" hardly above a whisper. His arms were tightly wrapped around the woman who had the same eyes as Brian's.

Justin watched in silence as did the man who stood back a bit, waiting his turn. Brian's mother seemed in no hurry to release her son, nor did Brian want to let go by the look of it.

"You must be Justin," Brian's father said moving over next to him.

"Yes, sir," Justin replied holding out his hand. The man took it and shook and then with a laugh and "What the hell!" he pulled Justin into a warm embrace. Justin was slightly taken aback not expecting this kind of welcome, but it was impossible to do anything other than hug back, and he had to admit it felt damn good. He had talked to Jack Kinney many times on the phone over the ten years that he and Brian had been together in one form or another. He knew the man accepted him and his place in Brian's life. Sometimes he even felt that the older Kinney liked him, but he had not expected such a show of affection, especially out in the street where the neighbors could easily see them.

Finally Joan Kinney released her son and they traded places. Justin found himself in another warm embrace, with Mrs. Kinney finally pushing him back to look into his face and eyes.

"You're much more handsome than that picture you sent," she said with a little laugh. "My son found a good one."

Justin smiled, pleased at her approval. "It's nice to finally meet you and your husband."

"Shall we get the luggage and take it inside?" she asked still holding on to Justin's hand.

The taxi driver must have got sick of waiting. He had been paid as the cab pulled up. Their luggage was sitting on the curb and there was no sign of the cab or driver. Mrs. Kinney or Joan as she told Justin to call her took charge of one suitcase and Justin the other. She refused to allow him to hike both of them. They made their way into the house.

Justin glanced at Brian who was still in a hug with his father. He thought he could see tears on Brian's cheeks and decided it was best to leave the two to finish their reunion. They would come in when they were ready.

"Da," Brian whispered. "Oh Da, it's good to be home, good to see you."

"I know, son. I've waited a long time for this day."

Brian stepped back a little to look into his father's face. The man looked much the same, a little older, a little more gray in the hair, a few more wrinkles on his face. But it was his father, the same man who had sent him off to a new life in America, who had made it possible for him to find Justin, to find himself.

"I've missed you so much," Brian said.

"Well, you had a life to build. How's the new business going?"

"The ad company is doing well. Justin and I have poured everything into it and it's finally starting to pay off. That's why we felt we could afford to take this trip. We have a great team that works for us. They're holding down the fort while we're gone."

"I'm so proud of you, son," Jack Kinney said sincerely. "Who would have thought that you would own your own advertising agency and be such a success when I sent you off to live with your aunt and uncle?"

"Who'd have thought?" Brian repeated remembering those first few hard weeks in Pittsburgh when he had been so homesick and so lonely and so confused. It seemed like that was an eternity ago.

"Maybe we should go in," Jack said finally noting that the cab was gone and so were his wife and Justin.

"I have something else to tell you," Brian beamed, "but I want Ma to hear it at the same time."

"Let's go then. I love a bit of good news."

They made their way into the house to find Justin and Joan making tea in the kitchen. They all sat down around the table and Joan poured them each a cup.

"This is great, Ma," Brian said. "There are a lot of great things about America, but they don't fucking know how to make a cup of tea. Yours always was the best."

Joan beamed back at him and squeezed his hand that rested on the table.

"Brian has something to tell us," Jack announced suddenly, wanting to hear what news Brian had brought with him.

"You do, dear?" Joan asked. "What?"

Brian dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "I want you to meet your grandson, Gus Marcus-Peterson," Brian stated. He pulled out the picture of baby Gus and handed it to his father.

"He's your son?" Jack asked in wonder. "But how?" he asked looking at Justin.

"It wasn't me, Mr. Kinney, believe me."

"Call me Jack," he ordered. "Then who, and how and why doesn't he have your name?"

"My friend Lindsay and her wife Melanie wanted a baby, so I donated sperm. He's their child, but I plan to be there too and see that he has everything he needs."

"My grandson," Joan said running her fingers over the little picture. "When?"

"He's about three weeks old. I was going to tell you over the phone but I wanted to surprise you and have you see a picture when I told you."

"He's beautiful, Brian," Joan said with a wistful look in her eye.

"I can see his eyes and chin are yours," Jack added.

"We'd like you to come to Pittsburgh for Christmas this year. Our treat, right, Justin." Justin nodded his approval. "That way you can meet him firsthand."

"Oh, I'd love to do that," Joan said softly continuing to rub her fingers over the tiny face in the picture. "But can you afford it? It's not too much, is it?"

"We're doing really well, Joan," Justin said. "We want you to come."

"Then we'll be there," Jack said enthusiastically.

"I better get started on dinner," Joan said standing up and handing the picture back to Brian.

"That's for you," he said. "I have others."

"We'd like to take you out for dinner," Justin said. "Is there a nice restaurant nearby?"

"There are," Joan replied, "but none as good as the food at Chez Kinney. I've been getting ready for this dinner for ten years. We're eating here. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Justin replied with a grin.

"I want to cook for my two best boys and especially for the father of my grandchild."

Justin and Brian smiled up at her. "Thanks, Ma," Brian said softly.

"Why don't you two go up and unpack. I'll get things going for dinner. Justin and I put your bags in your old room."

Brian and Justin made their way up the narrow stairs and into the bedroom. Brian closed the door and spun Justin around into a long, passionate kiss. When he finally released his partner he had a big smile on his face.

"How did you and Ma get along while I was outside with Da?" Brian asked unzipping his suitcase.

"She wouldn't let me carry your suitcase up here," Justin said. "She's strong."

"I know. Just try defying her"

Justin chuckled. "Anyway, I told her that I could sleep on the couch if she objected to us sharing a room."

"And what did she say to that?"

"She told me not to be so daft. I would sleep with my partner, and she wouldn't want it any other way." Brian smiled. "And then she told me we better keep it down because the walls are very thin."

Brian laughed. "My mother never was very subtle."

"They're both great, Brian," Justin said sincerely. "I'm glad we came."

"There's a lot of places I'd like to show you," Brian said.

"We have a week. I want to see them all."

They finished putting everything away and went down to dinner. Brian's mother had done them proud. The meal was simple but delicious. They all helped clean up. Shortly after Brian and Justin retired to their room feeling the effects of jet lag and the time difference.

"Want to fuck?" Brian asked.

"Um … sure," Justin yawned.

"I don't think I can keep my eyes open, let alone get it up," Brian admitted.

"How about in the morning?" Justin asked sliding between the sheets.

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around," Brian mumbled. "You're a smart little fucker."

"You got that right," Justin whispered as he drifted off to sleep curled up next to Brian.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

Brian spent the rest of the week showing Justin places that had been important to him as he grew up. They rented a car and did some sightseeing. Brian and his dad talked a lot and they did take the parents out to dinner one night.

Gradually Justin noticed that Brian did not introduce him to any of his friends from his childhood. He wondered if Brian was ashamed of him or if he didn't want to make waves by flaunting his homosexual boyfriend. He needed to know.

As the end of their stay in Ireland approached Justin snuggled against Brian in their bed. They had just made love and that was always their favorite time to talk. They had become quite good at silent sex, so Justin thought maybe that was the way to begin.

"Will we be this quiet when we fuck once we're back home?" Justin asked.

"We can be as loud as we want when we're in our own loft."

"Are you ashamed of me, Brian?"

"Where the fuck did that come from?"

"You haven't introduced me to even one of your childhood friends."

Brian frowned. "Most of them weren't my friends back then. They didn't know who I was. That's why Gerry was so important to me. He liked me for what I was, not who I was supposed to be."

"I see," Justin replied, although he didn't really see. He knew Brian must have had kids that he hung out with.

"I … I have one more place I want to go tomorrow," Brian said. "Will you come with me?"

"Of course," Justin agreed, although this sounded like another building or another park, not people. "Tomorrow's our last day here, so you better do whatever you want to do before it's too late."

"Good night," Brian said and rolled up against Justin's back. "I love you."

"I love you too," Justin said as he closed his eyes trying to put the troubling thought that Brian didn't want his friends to know about him out of his head.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

Justin awoke to an empty bed. He got up and showered and finally found his way to the kitchen. Brian and his father were sitting at the table deep in discussion.

"Morning," Justin said. They hadn't seemed to notice him.

"Oh, morning, son," Jack responded. "Cereal's on the counter."

Justin poured a bowl and sat down. He looked at Brian who had become very quiet. "You must have got up early."

"I've been up for a while."

"Do you still want to take me somewhere today?" Brian nodded. "I'll get ready as soon as I finish eating.

An hour later they were walking down the street, destination unknown, at least to Justin. Brian had continued to be very quiet.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Justin asked.

"No, you'll see when we get there."

They walked in silence for a bit longer. They passed some shops and houses and then came upon a cemetery. At the gate to the cemetery Brian clasped Justin's hand and they walked in. Brian walked towards the back of the cemetery not saying anything. Justin wondered what this was all about.

"Here it is," Brian said stopping in front of a headstone. It read "Gerald O'Brien, Beloved Son, 1971-1989."

"Is this your Gerry?" Justin asked.

Brian nodded. "I felt like I needed to see his grave to finally make it all real."

"Would you like some time alone?" Justin asked.

"No, I want you to hear this," Brian said staring into Justin's eyes. Justin squeezed his hand a little harder offering his support. Brian turned towards the stone. "I came to tell you how sorry I am for what happened," Brian began. "I wish … I wish things could have been different. I wish I had been stronger. I wish I hadn't been so afraid back then. I wish I could have stopped them. It's not fair what happened to you and I'd give anything if I could change it. But I can't do that. Anyway, the bastards who did this to you have paid their price too. Just know that you are not forgotten." Brian released Justin's hand and rubbed the tattoo still on his middle finger. "You don't have to resist anymore, Gerry, and neither do I. The world's a different place in many respects. I wish you were here to see it. Goodbye, Gerry."

Brian turned away and began walking out of the cemetery. Justin caught up to him and slipped his hand into the bigger one.

"Are you all right?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, I needed to do that," Brian replied. Justin squeezed his hand. "Besides, you wanted me to introduce you to my friends. Well, that was him."

"Oh, Brian," Justin said hurting for the big Irishman who must have had a tough time before he came to the U.S.

"It's okay," Brian said. "Da told me some interesting information this morning. You know the guys who beat up Gerry and me? They're all dead."

"Dead?" Justin said not believing it.

"Yeah, Billy and the cell leader who came to the hospital were killed in a car bombing that went wrong a couple of years ago. I only recognized a couple of the other guys. One was killed in a car accident and the other one died in surgery for a ruptured appendix."

"No shit! So they're all dead."

"Yeah."

"And you're alive."

"And happy."

"And happy," Justin repeated with a little smile.

"I thought they were the lucky ones because they got to stay here and keep their lives. I realize now I was the lucky one. I escaped all the violence here … and I found you."

"That's about the sweetest thing you ever said to me," Justin admitted.

"I'm ready to go home. I like the life we have in Pittsburgh."

Justin held onto Brian's hand tightly as the quietly walked out of the cemetery each looking forward to their life back in America.