Resist

Part 3

Monday morning Brian awoke with a start. The memory of Friday night came flooding back like it had every morning since it happened. He buried his face in the pillow trying to blot it out. He'd have to face Lindsay when he went to school. He wondered how she would react. They had had sex, but he wasn't sure either one of them really understood what they had done. It had been tentative and furtive and scary. He had felt so strange while it was happening, like he was there, but he wasn't.

He groaned. He should go take a shower and get ready for class. All he really wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep. That way he didn't have to think about it, didn't have to analyze it, didn't have to worry about it. He pushed himself up off the bed. If he knew only one thing, it was that what he and Lindsay had done last night would never happen again.

Sure enough the first person Brian ran into at university was Lindsay. Maybe because they always had coffee from the same place on their way to the class they took together.

"Hi," Lindsay said rather shyly.

"Hello."

"Brian…"

"I don't think this is the place to talk about it," Brian cut her off.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What?"

"I think we made a mistake."

"We did?" Brian asked rather puzzled by her attitude.

"Yeah." Brian waited. "I knew it as soon as it was over. Didn't you?"

"I probably knew it before it even happened," Brian said honestly.

Lindsay sighed. "I thought so. I kind of … forced you."

"I thought it would be for the best. It wasn't all your fault."

"Thanks for saying that, but I knew you were gay, and I shouldn't have pushed it."

"You knew?" Brian asked. Lindsay nodded. "Besides Justin told me he's been after you. It's only a matter of time until he gets you."

"Not bloody likely!" Brian denied it, as they walked across campus to their class.

"Justin is … well, Justin's pretty ruthless about sex. He knows you're gay, and if he wants you, he'll have you." Brian shook his head. "He will," Lindsay stated. "But be careful. He doesn't do boyfriends or repeats or friendship with former tricks."

"I will not be one of his tricks!" Brian protested. "I don't want to be his boyfriend and there won't be any repeats because it's never going to happen in the first place."

"Brian," Lindsay said gently, "I'm just trying to warn you. Be careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Thanks for the warning, but I don't need it!"

"I'd like to still be your friend," Lindsay said. "Can we forget about what happened between us?"

"Sure," Brian agreed. "It's not like I have so many friends that I can afford to lose one."

He gave her a crooked grin and she kissed his cheek. He liked Lindsay, liked her a lot better as a friend than as a lover. He shivered at the thought.

-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----~~~~-----

Several days went by and Brian saw nothing of Justin. In a way he was glad because that meant he didn't have to worry about what might happen between them, about what Justin had so blatantly told him would happen. However, the longer Brian went without contact with the blond the more he missed seeing him, and the more the words in Justin's letter began to worry him.

Justin had written that the next time he told Brian he wanted him, he would have him. Brian couldn't help but wonder if that was what Justin was waiting for, the right moment to trap him and force him to have sex. A shiver ran down his spine, very different from the shiver he felt when he thought about having sex with Lindsay. This shiver went straight to his groin. He was not at all sure that he could resist Justin Taylor the next time the man came after him.

One evening a few days later Brian worked till nine o'clock at the bookstore. As the store closed for the night, Brian gathered up his knapsack and made his way out onto the campus. He had only gone a short distance when he felt someone's presence. He glanced around but didn't see anyone in the gloom. He was about to start back on his route home when a voice called out, "Tonight's the night."

Brian stopped in his tracks. He knew it was Justin who had called to him. He glanced around and saw the man leaning against a nearby tree. He pretended not to see him and started on his way.

"You can't run from me," Justin said. "It's inevitable."

Brian stopped again. He wasn't sure what to do. He could run, but he knew that would never stop Justin. The man had made his intentions abundantly clear, and Brian didn't think it was likely that he would give up.

"What do you want?" Brian asked knowing full well what the man wanted.

"That's a foolish question. I want you. I've told you that so many times already."

"What can I do to make you leave me alone?" Brian asked hoping Justin didn't hear the defeat in his voice.

"Come here," Justin ordered.

Brian found his feet moving inexorably towards the tree where Justin still stood. As he neared the blond his eyes took in the slender body and the sparkling blue eyes. He could feel the magnetism that drew him to the man. He had no will of his own. When he was within two feet of the man, he stopped.

Justin held out his hand and Brian found his own hand reaching for it. Justin pulled him against the tree and leaned his weight against Brian. He stared into the hazel eyes. Then his mouth claimed Brian's and they were kissing. Brian found himself kissing back. He had a fleeting thought that he could kiss this man forever and still want more.

Suddenly Justin stopped and leaned back slightly so he could look into Brian's eyes. Brian saw a moment's hesitation in the blue eyes. Could it be fear? Then it was gone and Justin was kissing him again.

When they were both weak from the kisses and hard from the contact, Justin leaned his head against Brian's chest. "Are you ready to come with me?" he asked breathlessly without looking at Brian.

"I … Yes," came out as a strangled cry.

Justin took his hand and they made their way back to Justin's room. Brian's stomach was in turmoil. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. He remembered what had happened in Ireland and he felt like he wanted to throw up. But over everything else Brian felt his desire for Justin. He wanted him so bad. He wanted Justin to touch him and caress him and make love to him. Then he would finally know what it was supposed to be.

Justin slammed the door behind them and pinned Brian against it. He kissed the Irishman with everything he had. He knew Brian wanted him and he was going to make him beg for it.

Brian groaned into the kiss. His dick was so hard that he thought it would rip through the fabric of his jeans. His hands gripped Justin's back, his neck, his head, his beautiful ass. He pressed back into the man wanting to savor every inch of his beautiful body.

Justin started pulling at Brian's clothes. When his hand reached the zipper of Brian's jeans and began to slide it down, Justin felt Brian freeze and grab his hand. Justin stopped. This was the same thing that had happened in the washroom at the bookstore. He didn't want Brian to bolt this time.

"What?" he demanded. "Have you got some problem with zippers?"

"I…" Brian began but then was unable to explain further.

"What, for Christ's sake? You can't pretend you don't want this. I can feel that you do." Justin's hand squeezed Brian's shaft and Brian thought he would explode.

"I'm afraid," Brian whispered barely audible.

"Afraid of what? I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to make you feel so good," Justin promised.

"Something happened," Brian breathed.

"In Ireland?" Justin asked. "What?"

"I…I can't talk about it," Brian cried turning away as much as Justin would let him.

The anguish in Brian's voice got to Justin. He wondered what could have happened to make Brian like this. His heart melted a little as he turned Brian's head to face him and saw the real fear in his eyes.

"I'll be gentle," Justin whispered in Brian's ear, and he meant it. He didn't want to scare or hurt this beautiful man. He wanted to make him happy, make both of them so happy.

A tear rolled down Brian's cheek and then he clasped Justin in a bear hug. Justin thought he might be crushed, but he could feel Brian drawing strength from him and he hugged back. After a minute or two Justin felt Brian relax a bit. His hand reached between them and slid the zipper on Brian's jeans down. This time Brian didn't stop him. Justin shoved the jeans down and knelt in front of Brian.

As he peeled Brian's underwear down, the rock hard cock sprang free and Justin took in a sharp breath. He didn't think he had ever seen a more magnificent cock and he had seen a lot of them. He clasped the shaft in his hand and rubbed his palm up and down it a couple of times. He watched Brian's eyes close and his head loll back against the door. Justin held the cock firmly as he licked up and down and all around the purple rod. Brian moaned above him. Justin captured the head with his lips and his tongue tasted the first bead of precum. It was sweet and salty and wonderful. It was Justin's turn to moan.

He sucked on the head hard and felt Brian buck involuntarily. He wanted Justin to take more of him into his mouth. Justin sucked down the cock until he felt the tip hit the back of his throat. He locked his lips around the shaft and worked them up and down. Brian whimpered and clutched at Justin's hair. Justin swallowed around the dick and Brian exploded. Jizz shot down Justin's throat and he swallowed as each wave erupted. When Brian stopped shooting Justin stood up and cradled the man against his body. Brian gasped and sighed.

"See how good that was," Justin told him.

"Yeah," Brian whispered and hung on tight.

"There's more pleasure to come," Justin promised.

Brian looked into Justin's eyes and the fear returned. "I … can't. I have to go."

"You're not going anywhere," Justin declared. "We're not finished yet."

"But…" Brian didn't know how to finish that statement. "It will turn out bad," he shuddered.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Justin asked.

"I…I…"

"Brian, I promise nothing bad is going to happen. I'll take care of you."

"You will?" Brian asked staring into the blue eyes.

Justin could see the tears so close to the surface. He wondered what had happened to the Irishman to cause such fear of what should be a pleasurable act. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Justin asked. Brian shook his head knowing that he could never explain what had happened. "Then just relax and let me show you how great this can be. You won't regret it," Justin promised. He wasn't sure why he was making such promises to this man. Usually by now he would have had him and be kicking him out the door. He didn't know why he felt so protective, maybe because he would like someone to feel that concerned about him. "Come on," he said.

He gently pushed Brian towards the bed. The man stumbled, his jeans and underwear still around his ankles. Justin grabbed hold of Brian and eased him gently down onto the bed. He slid off the pants and shoes and began removing his own clothes. He felt Brian's eyes on him. The man watched as Justin's naked body appeared from beneath the clothing. Brian groaned, his cock already stiffening against his thigh. Justin smiled at him. They wanted each other. He had known that all along. He would make this good for Brian, and for himself.

Justin spread his naked body atop Brian's. He rubbed their groins together, cocks trapped deliciously between them. Brian arched up against him so overcome with desire that his fears were temporarily pushed aside.

"Oh Christ, Justin," Brian gasped. "I don't know what to do."

Justin wasn't sure what that meant. Whether Brian was telling him he wanted to get away or he wanted to do this or he was literally not sure what to do. Could the Irishman be a virgin?

"Is this your first time?" Justin asked running his hand along Brian's cheek and into his hair. He stared into Brian's eyes and the man blinked and averted his gaze. The Irishman turned crimson and Justin knew he had guessed right. "I'll take care of you; guide you all the way through it. That is … if you want me to." Justin didn't know why he was asking this. He could have the man one way or another, but something about the vulnerability and trepidation of the young man touched him. He remembered his first time. It had been all right, but it could have been so much better. He would make this wonderful for the beautiful Irishman, his good deed to contribute to international relations. Justin laughed. He felt Brian freeze beneath him. "Easy, big guy," Justin cooed. "I'm not laughing at you. I want you to enjoy every second of this." He gently kissed Brian's lips and felt the man begin to respond. "Do you believe me?" Brian nodded. "Then let's get started," Justin whispered and kissed Brian harder and deeper. His tongue probed at Brian's lips and the man let him in. Their tongues dueled and tasted finding all the sweet spots in each other's mouths. Justin humped against Brian as the kiss went on and on. He felt Brian arch again and was afraid the man would come if they didn't slow down.

Justin broke the kiss. "Roll over," he whispered as he kissed and nipped at Brian's neck and chest.

Brian shifted and turned onto his stomach. Justin grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and stuffed it under Brian's hips. Brian groaned at the relief the soft pillow allowed his throbbing dick. He felt Justin's lips on the back of his neck, on his shoulders, on his ass. He felt Justin spread his cheeks and then a tongue licked across his pucker. He rose up and called out. It was all he could do not to come.

"Easy, easy," Justin told him running his hands over Brian's back and sides. He could feel the man relax and bury his face in the pillow under his head. "Do you need to come again?" Justin could see Brian nod his head. He smiled to himself. Twice in less than twenty minutes and at least once more, he thought to himself as he grinned in satisfaction. He leaned down and his tongue began to probe Brian's pucker. The Irishman writhed and moaned and grabbed at the sheets. Justin knew it wouldn't take much more. A few hard thrusts that broke through the muscles into Brian's channel and the man was shooting his load and crying out Justin's name.

When he was done Brian rolled onto his back and stared into the blue eyes that looked back at him. He could see amusement and concern and lust. He reached up and pulled Justin's head down so that he could kiss those luscious lips.

"I have to fuck you now!" Justin stated emphatically. His dick was like a hot piece of tempered steel that burned his thigh. Brian had gotten off twice already and Justin was panting for release. He reached for the lube. "Put your legs on my shoulders," Justin ordered. Brian did as he was told. Justin squirted some lube onto Brian's pucker and inserted a finger. Brian's eyes flew up and he moaned. Justin inserted another finger and Brian cried out. A third finger and Brian panted Justin's name over and over again. He bucked his hips fucking himself on Justin's fingers. Justin smiled down at him. "I knew there was a tiger in there, just below the surface. This is going to hurt a bit at first, but it will be worth it." Brian nodded.

Justin thrust through the first ring of muscle. Brian cried out and gritted his teeth. His eyes slowly opened as Justin waited for him to accept the intrusion. When Brian nodded Justin drove his cock the rest of the way in. Brian grimaced and held onto Justin's forearms planted on each side of him. Justin leaned in kissing the now willing mouth and bending Brian in half.

"Ready?" Justin asked. Brian nodded and the ride began. Justin thrust masterfully and deeply. Brian took it all and pushed back. Justin smiled at him nodding his approval. The tight heat of Brian's channel was almost more than Justin could bear. His thrusts came faster and shallower as he felt his orgasm building. He pounded into the newly breached hole. Brian grunted and bucked beneath him. They both felt the heat and the tingling and the need.

"Now!" Justin called as he shot his load into the condom. Brian was close behind him, his anal muscles contracting as he shot all over them, and threatened to cut Justin's dick in half. Justin slumped down onto the Irishman as he climaxed and they held onto each other until the sudden tilt of the world righted itself.

"Jaysus!" Brian said in his best brogue. He had never felt anything like that in his life. "I … you … we … that was fooking magnificent."

Justin chuckled. "It was spectacular!" he responded, and it had been. Rarely had he found someone who could inspire him to these heights, and he had tried many, many men before finding this one.

Justin grabbed some tissue from the nightstand and tossed them on Brian's chest. The man lay still as if incapable of independent movement. Justin slid off the condom and disposed of it in the wastebasket. He wiped his chest where Brian's jizz had shot onto him. Brian remained still, lying beside him on the bed. Justin picked up the tissues he had tossed on the man and gently wiped his chest.

Brian opened his eyes and looked up at Justin with wonder. "I … I never knew it could be like that."

"It should always be like that," Justin smiled.

"Thank you."

Justin appeared surprised. "You … you shouldn't be thanking me," he said rather embarrassed by the protestation.

"Kiss me," Brian asked. He wanted to feel Justin's lips and the closeness they had shared.

Without thinking Justin leaned in and they shared a soft kiss that gradually became harder and deeper. Their dicks responded accordingly.

"I guess we're not finished yet, big guy," Justin said with a frown. Usually he fucked them and threw them out, but he wanted this Irishman again … and maybe again after that.

They fucked twice more until they were both exhausted. After the last time Justin felt Brian slide against him and wrap his arms around him. He shifted uncomfortably not used to sharing intimacy with his tricks. He never allowed this to happen, but there was something about this Irishman that touched his soul. He hugged back and had to admit that it felt pretty good.

In a minute or two Justin realized by the soft wheeze and the steady breathing that Brian was asleep. Shit! Now what was he going to do? How could he get rid of the guy before morning? This broke all of his rules for tricking.

He looked down at the sleeping face and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Brian was so beautiful and he had trusted him and they had had spectacular sex. He felt himself grow hard at the mere thought of what they had done. He had to stop this. He had to get rid of the guy. He had to take control. This could not happen. He wouldn't allow it to happen … again.

He shook Brian gently. Brian turned in his sleep and snuggled closer to Justin. Justin shook him a little harder. Brian's eyelids fluttered and he mumbled, "I love you," holding on a little tighter before he drifted off again.

Justin felt the tears well up. He blinked them back and rocked Brian gently against his body. He stared out the window hoping for divine inspiration about what to do. Instead he found himself humming softly and sliding down beside Brian still cradled against him. He ran his finger along Brian's cheek and across the rosy lips. God, those lips were delicious. He could kiss them forever. His hand trailed down Brian's side feeling the soft skin and smooth muscles just below the surface.

He wanted to draw this man, capture him on paper, in oils, in his memory. It was a long time since he had felt this way about anybody, and he knew that he shouldn't trust those feelings. They always led to nothing but heartache. That's why he had invented his rules. That's why he never did repeats. That's why he fucked them, but never loved them.

Then what the fuck was he feeling right now? He sighed and gently began the drift towards sleep. His arms were still around Brian, but they were connected on some level that went beyond touch. He would have to be ruthless in the morning. He would kick the Irishman out before Brian could do the same to him. Because that's what always happened. Love was a crock of shit. But right now it felt awfully nice. He curled into the warm body and fell soundly asleep.