“Now that fucking Ted has left, I’m going by the loft again. Hopefully one of the neighbors will let me in.”

“Sit your flat ass down you little shit. I don’t think Brian will be happy finding you in his loft after he has changed the locks and not given you a new set of keys.”

Melanie was watching the heated back and forth between mother and thirty-three- year-old baby boy with growing interest. She was surprised Debbie wasn’t on the phone trying to get ahold of Brian, leaving threatening messages of going all the way to California to drag him back to Pittsburg to take care of her preciously useless son. But here she was cornering Michael in her kitchen, blocking him from getting to the door, and threatening him of tanning his behind. It really boggled the mind that Debbie still had to wipe little Mikey’s stinky ass. Seriously, the man was about to get divorced and needed mommy to explain that when someone doesn’t give you a key to their apartment they don’t want you to access it in their absence. Melanie was wondering who was going to explain to wonder best friend that even when he had a key, he wasn’t supposed to use it whenever he felt like it. Mel was sure that as the years passed Brian hadn’t taken back the keys Michael and Lindsay had out of pity.

“Ma, Brian will give me a copy of his key. Lindsay and I always had a copy. It really won’t matter to him if I stay at the loft during his absence.”

“I don’t think either of you is getting the new key.”

The perspective of not having free access to the hollowed loft had Lindsay jumping head first in the, well I guess you could call it conversation.

“You don’t know this Melanie.”

“Well correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember Brian giving you a key when he picked up Gussie. He also didn’t invite you to go with them even though you invited yourself. So yeah, no key!”

Now something important to know about the relationship between Lindsay and Michael would be that they weren’t really fond of each other. Despite their shared claim of being Brian’s dearest friends, maybe because of it, they hated each other. And the matter of Jenny’s custody, although resolved, definitely didn’t make things better between the two frenemies. In Lindsay’s defense, there was really nothing to like in Michael. He wasn’t good enough to be used as a token friend to fuck with Nancy and Ron. Lindsay hate him for himself and everything he represented, including assholes who never learned how to use cutlery. And Michael hated Lindsay simply because Brian fucked her and kept her around. So for Michael who couldn’t get ahold of Brian, the fact that Lindsay knew that Brian was going to California and he didn’t really didn’t sit well.

“So Lindsay, did you know that Brian now owns the whole building on Tremont?”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous Michael. Of course he doesn’t own the whole building. He would have told me if he did.”

“He owns it. Fucking Ted told me. And it’s not the only building he apparently owns. According to fucking Ted, your son’s father is becoming quite the propriety tycoon.”

“So it wasn’t Brian who told you about owning the building!”

Melanie was enjoying the two dickheads playing my horse is bigger than your horse. The best part of the game was that neither one of them owned the fucking horse. And Melanie was ready to bet her job that the horse’s owner was not in New York but on his way to California. Oh happy days!

“Wait a minute you two. How the fuck do you know what a property tycoon Michael? I didn’t know they used such big words in your comics.”

“A friend of David was a property tycoon. I don’t think you remember Mel, but when I was with David I met people you can only dream of meeting.”

Michael felt good with his answer. Melanie should remember her place. She was nothing but some lawyer working at some firm he couldn’t remember the name of. He was a business owner and he knew people. And he was the best friend of Brian Kinney who seems to be far richer than any of them knew.  

“Keep going Michael and you’ll only see your daughter in your dreams. Oh silly me! You don’t give a fuck about Jenny. On a serious note, trust me I don’t need to meet David’s well connected friends. Brian has introduced me to some of his and I know for a fact they wouldn’t spit of dear old David’s friends even if they were on fire.”

“Brian introduced you to people he works with? Why didn’t you tell me Mel? I’m your wife, I shouldn’t be the last one to know things like that! Now please, could you and Michael stop playing my horse is bigger than your horse?”

“You’re such a prude Lindsay!”, Debbie cackled. “It’s playing my dick is bigger than your dick!”

“No Deb, Lindsay’s right. I never play my dick is bigger than your dick. If I did, Linds here wouldn’t have to slut around with her fucking hairy mentor and dream of Brian Kinney suddenly realizing he’d always been straight. That was fun. Deb, I’ll see you next Sunday for family dinner. Michael, if God forbids you want to see Jenny, call ahead. Lindsay, you either come with now or pay the cab from your own account. Good day.”

Mel smiled to the three gob smacked faces, gathered Jenny’s stuff and was out the door before any of them had regained their senses.