Brian and Justin were quick to notice that for every toy Gus picked for himself, he picked one or two for Jenny. Gus’ rationale was that since Michael was a dickhead loser – Justin’s words not his – who never spent a dime on the daughter he so wanted to share custody of, Gus, as her older brother, had to make sure she gets lots of toys and beautiful dresses. The idea of spending God knows how long picking little pink dresses almost had Brian running for the hills. But seeing how happy Gus was and how proud he was telling the store clerks that daddy was going to buy lots of toys for him and Jenny was worth the upcoming torture in the ruffles dungeon.

Brian had no idea how many toys they bought. Sunshine had appointed himself as the appropriateness police – and seriously what the fuck was an inappropriate toy – so Brian had simply handed over his AmEx card with a smile.

At the clothing store, Gus told his daddy and Jussin that they were buying all the beautiful dresses in Jenny’s size. And he meant it quite literally. He also decided that him and Jenny needed matching pajamas. For some unknown reason, Gus was convinced he knew not only what baby Jenny would look cute in but also that he was the only one who knew what his sister would like and wouldn’t like. The more pinky ruffled stuff he picked, the more Brian feared butch Melanie would have an aneurysm. While Gus was the only was choosing the items, a non-negotiable rule per Gus’s edict, Jussin was checking the sizes and making sure some of the dresses and PJ would still fit Jenny in a couple of months.

Once the clothes shopping for all of Pittsburg babies and toddlers was over, Brian hauled his husband and kid to a jewelry store one of Kinnetik’s clients owned.  Brian wanted to get Melanie an expensive pair of diamond earrings and he was sure that Sunshine would love to get Mother Taylor and Debbie something.

Brian chose the most expensive pair Melanie would wear and called his Sonny boy to ask him what he thought.

“Sonny boy, do you think these are beautiful earrings?”

“Yes daddy. They sparkle. Can we get them for momma?”

“Yes we can”

While Brian was asking the manager to wrap the earrings, Gus turned to his Jussin.

“Jussin, do you want to get sparkling things for Mrs. Jennifer?”

Justin crouched in front of Gus and took the little boy’s hands in his.

“Gussie why are you calling grandma Jen Mrs. Jennifer?”

“Mommy said that I should call her Mrs. Jennifer because she’s not old and she will be sad if I call her grandma. I don’t want Mrs. Jennifer to be sad because of me. I love her because she’s your momma. Mommy said she will think I think she looks like grandma Debbie. And yes, Mrs. Jennifer doesn’t look like the grandmas in the movies. She’s young and blond and pretty.”

Just to fuck with Justin’s bond with Gus, Lindsay had filled her son’s head with some stupid shit about women’s looks, had insulted Debbie, and had her son feel bad about calling Jen grandma.  It really took a special talent to fuck up that much.

Brian was trying very hard to keep his temper in check and Sunshine’s cloudy disposition wasn’t helpful.

“What did momma say?”

“I didn’t tell momma. Momma really likes Mrs. Jennifer. I don’t want her to know I made Mrs. Jennifer sad.”

“Listen Gussie, grandma Jen will be sad if you call her Mrs. Jennifer. She loves you very much and loves it when you call her grandma.”

“Are you sure and double sure Jussin?”

“Of course I am Gussie. Grandma Jen is my mother and I know her best. Her and Molly both love you very much.”

“I love them too Jussin. I am so happy I can call your momma grandma again. If mommy says I still have to call grandma Mrs. Jennifer, I will tell momma. Momma always defends me when mommy makes silly rules or is being mean to me.”

As a rule, kids hate rules and were not shy of expressing their dislike. And happy outspoken Gus wasn’t going to be the exception. But not all kids referred to their mommy being mean to them as a normal everyday occurrence. And while Brian and Justin were thankful for Mel defending Gus they both were wondering why she hadn’t wrung her bitch of wife’s neck yet.

“Daddy can we buy momma a new watch? She only has one. Mommy has a lot and she doesn’t share.”

“Of course Sonny boy.”

Of course she has a lot. Support money helps paying for a lot of shit for mommy of the century!

After long deliberations, Gus was still torn between two pieces so Brian decided to purchase both. They picked gifts for Mother Taylor, Debbie, Ted and Cynthia and when the beast make itself felt, headed for lunch.  

Gus was undoubtedly Brian’s spitting image but around food he turned into Justin’s double. When daddy was around, Gus deferred to him in everything but food. But daddy’s sandwiches were always dry and he ate a lot of vegetables. Jussin always ate good things with a lot of food and sauce and fries. So when asked what he wants to eat, Gus’ answer was always like Jussin. Justin loved sharing his love of fatty food with Gussie and loved nagging Brian about it even more.

“Daddy, what is vain?”, Gus asked between bites.

“Why do you ask?”

“Mommy said that you don’t eat a lot because you are vain. Oh! I remember now! Daddy, are you rich?”

“Why? What did mommy say?”

Yeah, Brian had gotten a gist of things.

“Mommy told uncle Michael that you are lucky you are rich so you can feed Jussin. Uncle Michael said that Jussin is a twink and a trick. Then momma came home from work and she started shouting because Jenny had a stinkie and because mommy told her that I had lunch in my room. I wanted to ask momma about the words but she was very cross and she only wanted to cuddle with me and Jenny and watch cartoons. A trick is like when you have to put the booster seat in the car and attach it right daddy? And what is a twink?”

Well Sonny boy, a twink is a big pair of scissors daddy is going to use to cut mommy and uncle Michael’s tongues.

“Listen Sonny boy, are you listening?”

“Yes daddy.”

“You are still too young to know what it means. All you need to know is that uncle Michael doesn’t know what he’s talking about and you should never believe anything he says about Jussin. Jussin loves you very much. This is the most important thing.”

“I know daddy! And I love Jussin very much. He’s like my other daddy. Daddy, Jussin is my other daddy now right?”