CHAPTER 26 -  FIRED UP

HUNTER’S NEW BEDROOM - THREE HOURS LATER

LINDSAY

I hiss as a chunk is taken out of the wardrobe. “Be careful!” I snap at Ben. “It’s an antique armoire!”

“Arm what?” Hunter, the uncultured oaf, frowns.

“Fancy ass name for wardrobe.” Winston replies. “Which it isn’t. Last time I checked, wayfair.com is not 100 years old; this is a requirement for antique status.” His scornful look makes my blood boil. “So, H, where we putting this delicate flower of an item.”

“On a bonfire.” He declares from the window  “Blake’s bringing one from home.”

“You’re not burning that!” I exclaim, standing in front of it. “No way!”

“Lindsay!” Daddy’s curtness makes everyone smirk. “Shush, this is his room now and he doesn’t want your dubious taste in furniture in his space.”

“Dubious taste!” I gasp. “That is a classic investment piece!”

“Investment now is it?” He sneers, shoving me aside to examine it. “Although she’s right, burning this would be a bit much. Let me call Justin.”

“Justin? What does he have to do with it?”

“Oh, Mel bought it, did she? One second. Mel?” He calls before I can stop him, he catches my despairing look. “And that looks about what?” 

“Nothing, everything’s fine.” I blather. “I’ll just have it put in storage.”

“Ronald, did you want me?” Mel enters seconds later; she looks at Daddy then Huner, who are both pointing at the armoire. 

“You’re not a fan either?” She grimaces. “That’s why it was in here. Didn’t go with my aesthetic.” She looks around the room. “Funny, when I said storage, it couldn't possibly be moved.”

“It couldn’t?” Daddy sighs crossly. “Gus, can you come, please?” 

He takes his time to arrive; when he explains what’s happening, he shrugs. “Let’s keep it.”

“Thank you, Gus.” I squeeze his arm. I knew, deep down, that Gus has always had my back, he just needs to get over his sulking and brattiness! “So, where are we going to put it?”

“Barn.” He replies.

“The barn?” I gasp. “Why?”

“It’s the perfect compromise.” He inspects it further. “You both get what you want.”

“We do?”

“Yes, you want to keep it, but Mom wants it gone. So keeping it in the barn is the perfect solution. A neutral place. That’s fair, isn’t it, Granddaddy? Grandmammy?”

“Perfectly fair.” Mother replies. “Let’s take a break.” She orders crisply. “Mel, Debs, why not make some refreshments for them, it’s hefty work all of this.”

“I’ll get them. Beers all around?” I barely keep the gleeful look off my face. Mel hates that piece with a passion because Michael bought it for me, fully loaded with clothes! “I'll get snacks too.”

RONALD

I glance at Nancy, she’s gripping the chair as Lindsay needlessly checks the small chip in the wardrobe before very slowly closing its door. “What does everyone want?” She asks, putting her hair up, then down, up then down, before leaving it up and fanning around her ears. “It’s so hot!”

“Anything, let’s just go and get it, shall we?” Debs takes her elbow. “How long till Blake gets here?”

“About ten minutes.” H replies.

“Okay, it will take us about fifteen to do snacks, why not get that downstairs first, then we break?”

“I’ll come with you. In fact, Mel will come too.” Nancy beams. “We can leave these big strong men to get that down, can’t we?” Whilst all nod, I smile and nod. 

As the door closes behind them, I chuckle. “That was code for bounce that fucker out!”

“Grandaddy!” Handsome gasps, already rolling up his sleeves. “So how do we make it look like an accident?!”

“And there's the magpies we need to release.” H adds as he yanks one of the shelves out. “All that up and down and flapping!”

Ben and I exchange looks when Gus balls up some of her clothes to muffle the sound of him stamping out the lower shelf. “Okay, what’s going on?” He demands, pulling them in front of him. “We know something is up; what is it?”

“We can't tell all of you.” Handsome replies, looking away quickly. Nodding, I head to the door. “Thanks, Granddaddy.”

“Welcome.” Before I close the door, H coughs. “What?”

“Winston is an easy touch.” He smiles.

“Am not that easy!” He protests, earning snickers. “Give me one, just one example?!”

“Birthday party for Drew.” Ben smirks. “He just looked at you and you blabbed!”

“Ah, well that’s Drew, nobody else can get stuff out of me!”

“That’s true, which is why when we want to know something, we wait for you to have cat-time and listen in.” H chuckles whilst Winston mock pouts. “However, to save the death glaring, Drew knows; he’s coming with Blake, who said we needed the extra muscle.” 

“Got it.” I smile, and make my way downstairs.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

MEL

She’s been floating around the kitchen, not actually helping! Anytime we ask her to do something, she needs a glass of water, has to fan her ears, or just needs to check what the boys want, which would normally have both Nancy and Ronald scything into her, but they’re oceans of serenity; Debs not so much! 

“Lindsay, you’re in Pittsburgh, not Bermuda. It's not that hot!”

“What’s not hot for you is hot for me.” She replies, having more water. “I think I might be coming down with something.” She coughs and sniffs.

“Lazyitis or a cold?” Debs retorts.

“Actually, Debs, she is very susceptible to germs.” Nancy states, looking in the cupboard. “Where do you keep that cold medicine I brought?” As Lindsay goes pale, I find it quickly. “Ah, thank you, Mel. Now, Lindsay, two big tablespoons of this is just what the Mother Doctor orders.”

I hear it being dolloped onto the spoon; Buckley’s is utterly revolting, Justin said he would rather fight pneumonia and a wild boar at the same time than have it.

“Oh no, Mother, that’s not - gnnurgh!” She gurgles as Nancy shoves it in.

“Think of it as a lolly cock and swallow, Lindsay.” Ronald orders. She shakes her head. 

“Swallow.” Debs advances. “If you spit you lick!” We lean against the counter as she clamps her jaw shut, holds her nose and takes it down. “Nancy, can you remind me, is it lemon water that helps with the taste?” 

Before she can answer, there is an enormous crash. We try to get out, but a pile of wood blocks our way.

“Are you guys okay?!” I yell.

“Them?! You’re worried about them?! Look what they've done!” Lindsay screeches. “My armoire!”

“Drew hurt his shoulder, hence the slippage!” Ben shouts back. “Anything salvageable?!”

“Of course fucking not! It’s ruined!” Lindsay hunkers down to check, whilst the four of us suppress giggles. “Are you happy now?!” She snaps over her shoulder, except in doing so she unbalances herself and ends up sprawled on top of it, after sliding a few inches. “Owwww!” She screams, clutching her face.

Gus runs down the stairs. “Momma, you okay?!”

“No, I’m not!” She weeps as she stands. “I need to check the damage his shoulder caused!” She snivels up the stairs before slamming into the bathroom.

FORTY MINUTES LATER

LINDSAY

The hallway has been cleared. After checking my bandaged face again, I step into the lounge ready for their onslaught, but only Mel is there. Me having to cough to get her to look up cements my decision to stay at Michael’s tonight. My anger dissipates a little when she takes out her earphones. Her eyebrows go up as she takes me in.

“That bad?” She at least puts the papers aside.

“Yes. Where’s Gus, warming himself with Hunter by the fire?” 

“It’s too hot for that. So are you going to the hospital, plastic surgeon or Michael’s?”

Knowing what we’re going to be doing later with our things, stills my tongue so I slam the door and head to my best friend.

MICHAEL’S APARTMENT 

BEDROOM

MICHAEL

She’s here, my Lindsay, my lover and best friend is here! We act more like a couple than best friends when we’re alone, so to me, in my heart, she’s my lover. 

I’m furious that their actions caused her to mar her beautiful face. Three times I’ve reassured her that the scrape doesn’t detract from her beauty. I've ordered some Il Makiage foundation, which is the best make up range for covering scars.

“Michael.” She moans as I stroke her breasts; never ever thought I would be a breast man, but hers are the perfect size. “You make me feel so good, so very good.”

“Did you bring everything?” I moan against her neck, whilst stroking between her legs. I love the way she sounds. 

“Yes, I did.” She whispers back, and rolls us over. After getting the pouch, she hands me the lube. “I love that we do this!” She giggles. “I love using hers on you, then her.”

“So do I. Maybe next time you can film her, say you want to add a little heat to your sex life?” I titter.

“You’re just filled with great ideas!” She laughs as we lube up the dildos, then get on our knees, facing each other. 

“You promise me, you don’t take it up that gorgeous butt with anyone except me?”

“I promise.” She whispers. With a nod, we spread each other's cheeks and slide them in. “And one day it will be you there.” She groans, and I almost cum at the thought, but for now this will do. “Switch on in three, two, one!”

“On!” 

AN HOUR LATER

BATHROOM

MICHAEL

“How are you feeling? Any better?” I ask quietly. She's resting against my chest. Nodding, she lets me brush away the tears.

We’ve been sitting in a cool bath for the last thirty minutes, having had the ignominy of enemas after we both experienced allergic reactions to the lube and ended screaming in pain instead of pleasure as our holes almost burst into flames.

“Still can’t understand it, we’ve used it before, haven’t we?”

“Yes, I know how sensitive you are to certain things.” I state, then gasp as she leaps up. “What?!”

“Oh no!” She squeals, clutching her ass. “I can't hold it!” She cries, and seconds later she shits all over me. 

“Lindsay!” I gag. “Couldn’t you have turned around?!”

“I didn’t have time to! Oh no, move!” I managed to avoid most of it this time.

Two hours later, we're making our way to separate hotels. We couldn’t face being in each other’s presence after my enema did it's work ten minutes afterwards - we said we’d speak much later in the week.

This literal shitshow has made up my mind; I’m most definitely moving out of there, time to buy a proper home - one for two!