Chapter 2

3 months later

When Brian returned back to Pittsburgh after having gone to New York to meet with a very demanding client, he was glad to be back home. He had only been able to live in his house for three weeks before he had to go and take a business trip to Chicago and afterwards he had gone to New York right away to meet that demanding client and all the time he had just wanted to come back and make this new house his home.

He had had two rather enjoyable weeks with Michael and Ben and just as he had expected, he had been so busy seeing Gus, hanging out with Michael and the guys and getting his new office ready that he hadn't had any chance to think about any unwelcome topics at all for which he had been glad.

Then the container with all his things from New York had arrived in Pittsburgh and he had been able to move into his new house and he had been busy unpacking boxes, putting away things and decorating his new home before he had left for the business trip to Chicago which had been so hectic that he didn't have much time to think either.

Right after that he had gone to New York, which had really been the first time since that original flight from New York to Pittsburgh where he had really had the time to think again. On his days off and during breaks in his schedule thoughts about Pittsburgh and memories of how he and Justin had ended had entered his mind again and again and at first those memories had been unwelcome. Brian had worked hard to push them aside these last three years, not wanting the image of the blond heartbroken and in pain to come at him again.

He could still remember how Debbie had shown up at his loft hours after Justin had left and had read him the riot act for how he had treated her Sunshine. He could still remember how he hadn't cared back then, but with time, over the last three years... well, that had changed. Back then however, Brian had kindly kicked Debbie out of his loft and had continued preparing his move to New York. His relationship with Debbie had never been the same after that and it had been years since he had last seen her. She had been that angry with him when he had seen her last.

And then he had left for New York where the first weeks had been hell. He had been all alone in a place that was unknown to him, working with people he had only met shortly before, missing his friends and family more than he ever had before and more than he liked to admit to himself and them. It had also been strange to be a complete unknown in the gay scene and to not be considered THE stud any longer. In New York no one could have cared less about his status in Pittsburgh. As far as the New York fags had been concerned, he had been a nobody.

But he had quickly found what one might consider friends in the company and the clubs he frequented and had gotten closer to them and spending time with them had helped him put his bad mood behind him, had helped him move on from his life in Pittsburgh.

So when thoughts about Justin had started to invade his mind again and again while he had been on his business trip in New York, Brian had been worried that they would only pull him down and would also mean a return of all the feelings he had thought he had put behind him, but after he had allowed thoughts of Justin and that day they had ended to enter his mind more and more, he had slowly realised that they didn't necessarily bring back all the emotions he had been scared of over the years, but instead mostly brought sadness. Sadness because Brian hadn't just lost a lover, but also a friend. Something he had only realised much later, once he had lived in New York for quite some time already.

Justin had been his friend. Justin had been by his side, had supported him, had believed in him and had known him better than his other friends ever could. Justin had always looked right through him and even though Brian might not have liked that, the boy had been able to see right through all the bullshit. He had been smart, funny and Brian had enjoyed his company even when they hadn't been fucking. The more he thought about Justin, the more he realised that he really missed his friendship. He didn't necessarily think that he also missed his love, he just missed Justin's presence in his life. After weeks of thinking about that fateful day three years ago and how they had ended, Brian had finally come to the conclusion that he would go and contact Justin now that he was back in Pittsburgh. Maybe they could meet for a beer and could catch up.

Brian didn't even know if Justin had found a new boyfriend or not, he didn't even know if Justin was still in Pittsburgh or not and with a bang he had realised that he didn't know anything about Justin at all anymore, basically having cut off his friends every time they had wanted to talk to him about Justin which had been quite often. Especially Michael and Emmett had been insistent on bringing up Justin again and again and Brian couldn't blame them. Michael had been his best friend ever since they had been teenagers and with his mother seeing Justin as yet another son of hers, she had probably been on his back a lot to get Brian to talk about Justin. But Michael's need to talk about Justin had gotten so bad, that at one point Brian had even threatened to never talk to him again should he ever bring up Justin again. Brian had made it clear that the boy had just been a fuck and nothing more and he didn't care if the family considered him more, he hadn't been more to Brian. Thankfully Michael hadn't brought up the topic of Justin ever again after that. Like most of his friends hadn't after Brian had made it clear that he had no intention of talking about Justin ever again at all.

He had known that he had been childish and also unfair towards his friends, but at the time he had felt like it was the right thing to do, but now he cursed himself for that decision. Maybe they could have met a long time ago and could have talked. It wasn't like Justin was still pining for Brian or still loved him after all. Brian was pretty sure he had closed that door once and for all on that day three years ago. By now Justin had probably moved on from his heartbreak and had fallen in love again. Brian felt ready to at least try and contact Justin to see how he was doing.

He had made the decision to bring Justin up when Michael would be coming over in a couple of days for a boys night out as he called it. He was sure that Michael or at least Debbie were still meeting with Justin every once in a while and Brian would just ask him to give Justin a message then and maybe Justin would agree to a meeting.

***

“Look, there's something I wanted to talk to you about,” Brian started, continuing when he was sure that he had Michael's attention. “I've been thinking about getting in contact with Justin and seeing if he might be interested in meeting for a drink or something.”

Michael's eyes just widened and he looked at Brian strangely. “What?”

“I...in recent weeks I've thought a lot about how we ended for a lack of a better word and...I haven't talked to him ever since that day I told him I would move to New York on my own, but...we used to be friends...I kinda miss that friendship and I wondered if maybe...I don't know, we could try and get it back, you know?” Brian went on, watching as Michael's face contorted in pain.

“Oh Brian...,” Michael started, looking at Brian in what Brian could only define as pity.

“What? It's not like I love him or still want to fuck him or anything, it's just that...I don't know...I thought we could meet for a coffee and catch up for a bit. Try and be friends...I don't want to fuck him anymore. I am past that...just, I don't know...try and get back to how things used to be, right?” Brian tried to smile, knowing that Michael would go for that, frowning when he didn't and only looked even sadder.

Michael sat down next to Brian and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “It's too late for that.”

“Huh?” Brian frowned, not understanding what Michael meant. “Too late?”

Michael sighed deeply and then looked at Brian intently, speaking in a voice that held a hint of coldness, but at the same time was trying to be gentle for Brian. “Justin...he's...he's not the same Justin anymore that you knew. He's changed and...it's too late, Brian,” Michael ended, watching the emotions on his friend's face, all the time holding his hand. “We've lost him, Brian.”