Chapter 21

With Ben's and Lindsay's help, Justin got in contact with the people from PIFA, an art school in Pittsburgh that he had wanted to attend years before as well and Carnegie Mellon University. Together they all figured out a course plan that would allow Justin to study the art that he loved so much at PIFA and social work and counselling at Carnegie Mellon. Both universities offered their support to make his course plan work in case Justin made it through the applications and into both schools.

For the next couple of weeks Justin busily worked on his portfolio for PIFA and his applications to both schools. He was beyond excited when his mother and Debbie returned some of his old work to him that they had kept in his room at either houses from the time before he had sunk into his drug addiction. Those paintings and sketches were a great start to his portfolio and made his work a lot less stressful as he didn't have to produce as many paintings and sketches as he had feared he would have to by starting from scratch.

Once he was done with his portfolio and his applications had been sent and all Justin could do was sit around and wait, he had gotten in contact with a charity organisation that helped addicted teens on the streets of Pittsburgh. He had gotten the contact information from Ted, who had been dating a drug addict once, years ago and apparently had started donating to that organisation in a weird attempt of helping people he didn't know to make up for the fact that he hadn't been able to help the man he had loved at the time.

He was appointed to the outreach van and went out into the streets of Pittsburgh, looking for kids who needed help, trying to get their trust. Additionally, he took part in a support group for homeless kids that suffered from substance abuse problems which apparently was a real problem for many homeless kids as they turned to drugs or alcohol in their hopelessness, trying to cope with the fact that they were homeless.

Justin had never felt as fulfilled as he had in the weeks of working with the charity and on the outreach van. He had known right away that he wanted to work there once his studies were done if possible. He loved what they were doing and connected really well with the youths and trying to help them became his passion.

Brian had been amazed by how well Justin had adapted to working in this new environment after he had only been a pupil and waiter before and he had also been surprised by how much Justin seemed to love his work. Brian knew that if it had been him who had to see the sorrow and suffering of some of these kids, he would have broken down at the injustice of it all, but Justin didn't seem to have any thoughts like that. Most likely he had seen it all before when he had been in those parts of town as an addict himself and he just seemed glad to finally be able to help and do something worthwhile with his life.

After the first weeks of working with them, the charity had gladly accepted Justin's application and had immediately taken him on as a part-time staff member which would also allow him time for his studies should he get accepted into the schools he had applied for. He had worked hard, had been passionate about his work and, maybe because of his own past with drugs, had connected really well with the youths he was working with as well as the members of the support group he had been appointed to and after less than three months of working with them, he had been given his own support group to take care of and Brian would always remember how proud Justin had been when he had come home that evening, telling Brian about it, his whole face shining with happiness.

A week later, Justin had received feedback from the schools he had applied for and had been informed that both PIFA as well as Carnegie Mellon had accepted his applications and welcomed him as a student to take on the course load that Lindsay and Ben had helped him work out with both schools, so he could work on his art studies as well as his social work and counselling studies.

Brian had felt so proud then, had felt so proud of Justin for having found something worthwhile to do with his life and having managed to once and for all leave behind his past. He had turned his life around completely and was finally living it again and when he had seen Justin's smiling face, his eyes that were finally shining again with happiness and joy, seemingly having lost their sadness and hopelessness, Brian just hadn't been able to hold back any longer and he had taken Justin into his arms and had kissed him deeply.

At first Justin had been too surprised to react at all, but then, realising what Brian was doing and more importantly what his kiss meant, he sank into Brian's arms and kissed him back, enjoying the taste of the brunet's mouth on his, Brian's tongue fighting for dominance against his own, sighing happily as they breathlessly pulled apart.

“So...I guess you think I am ready now, huh?” he smiled at Brian from shining eyes, making him chuckle.

“I think you having your own job, having been accepted to both schools that you have applied for and most importantly you being happy in your life and enjoying it, more than qualifies as being ready,” he chuckled before he claimed Justin's lips once more in a passionate kiss.

“And you looked good enough to eat just now so I couldn't pull myself together any longer,” he winked, his own eyes shining with pride and the love he felt for the man in his arms.

“I thought we'd never get there,” Justin laughed, leaning his head against Brian's chest.

“I just wanted to be sure, Sunshine,” he whispered, for the first time since he had come back to Pittsburgh using Debbie's old nickname for Justin again. He buried his face in Justin's hair and inhaled the scent that was so uniquely Justin that there was nothing else that he wanted more.

“Didn't want us to get into something we weren't ready for.”

“I know,” Justin muttered, still not moving his face away from its space on Brian's chest, sighing happily. “I was still getting impatient though.”

“Oh Justin...you've got no idea how hard holding back was for me! I wanted to kiss you for months now...wanted to just hold you and tell you how proud I am, but...I needed to be sure you were ready for it. I care too much about you to hurt you,” Brian told him quietly.

“Do you think this will work, Brian? God...I want it to work,” Justin whispered, pulling back and looking at Brian from love-filled eyes.

Brian nodded, giving Justin a quick peck on his lips. “Me too. We're going to make it work. We've been through so much shit this last year...I have no idea how we could manage to fuck this up now.”

“Can't get much worse than that, huh?” Justin said as he led Brian over to the sofa, nestling into his side as they sat down.

“Well, at least I hope not. Not sure I can take more,” Brian ran his hand through Justin's hair before he gently caressed his arm.

“Me neither. I am never going to let you go again, Brian. Never!” Justin promised as he raised his face and leaned up to Brian for another kiss which was granted instantly.

“I love you!” The older man moaned into the kiss as small hands started moving under his shirt, caressing his chest.

“God...so...so happy to see you well again,” he breathed out before he cried out as that hand twisted his nipple.

“So happy to be well again,” the younger voice panted into the kiss, before letting go off that delicious mouth and sitting on Brian's lap, looking at him hungrily. “I love you, Brian. More than you'll ever know!”

Brian tried to regain his breath and get his breathing under control as he took in the sight of the man in front of him. Justin had changed this last year and as far as Brian was concerned, those had been good changes. His hair had grown again and Brian just loved running his hand through it, as he was doing right then, making Justin giggle and Brian smile at him in return.

Justin had also gained more weight, getting back the weight that he had lost in the three years of his addiction and the drug withdrawal after it. His cheeks had a healthy rosy glow to them and he just looked healthy and well. There was no other word for it. His eyes were shining, his whole face looked happy and right now Brian knew that the man sitting in his lap was hungry. But not for food. Justin wanted him and Brian wanted him in return. So bad. Yet something held him back and he forced himself to give in to that voice instead of just giving in to his urges. For once he tried to be the voice of reason.

“Are we sure we want to do this?” He said seriously, looking up at Justin who frowned back at him.

“Hasn't that been the purpose of the last months? Me getting well enough so we can do this?”

“Yeah, but...now that we're here and about to do this...I am not sure...I can't help but feel scared,” Brian admitted, lowering his eyes. “This will change everything.”

“But for the better,” Justin whispered as he raised Brian's chin with a finger, making the older man look at him. “I am scared as well. God, you have no idea how much because...I have dreamed of this for years and I felt like I had it all once, but then...I lost you and...my whole life pretty much, but...I have never been as certain about something as I am about the fact that I want you, Brian and...more importantly that I love you! I love you so much and...I know that it'll work this time. We've both changed and...circumstances are different and I wouldn't want to do this if I wasn't sure that it would work. But I am! You didn't let me fall when I was at my lowest and I just know that it'll always be like that. You won't let me fall and I promise not to let you fall either, Brian. We're going to make this work,” Justin told Brian and the older man was surprised by the sincerity in his eyes as well as the determination in his voice.

Brian had wanted this for months, despite all his earlier mantras that he didn't care about love and relationships. Somehow this thing with Justin had just been different. Justin had been different and he himself had changed as well in recent years and especially in the last year when he had helped Justin get away from the drugs that had controlled his life and he cursed himself for feeling scared now, but somewhere deep inside he knew that Justin was right. They had been through a year where Brian had seen Justin at his lowest and still he had been by his side and somehow he knew that after having made it through all of that together, they would make it through anything and that it would work. He just knew it. So forcing those bad thoughts back to the back of his mind, Brian shook his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts before a small smile spread on his lips.

“You're right. I am just being ridiculous. Come here!”

And with that he pulled Justin close, kissed him once more and sighed in pure happiness when he felt Justin kiss him back, when he felt his tongue beg for entrance which Brian instantly granted, starting to pant when he also felt the blond's hand under his shirt once more.

It didn't take long for both of them to be panting wildly on Brian's couch and Brian had to force himself with a strength he didn't know he even possessed to pull back from that delicious mouth, making Justin groan in complaint.

“Let's do this the proper way,” Brian whispered as he carefully got up and carried a giggling Justin as they made their way upstairs to Brian's bedroom where Brian gently lay the blond down on his bed, taking in Justin, just looking at him and drinking him in.

“I love you,” he whispered before he joined Justin on the bed and soon after they were both kissing passionately once again.

This time Justin pulled back after several minutes of having rubbed their hard erections against each other, both of them panting wildly.

“Will you fuck me, Brian? Please...want to feel you inside of me.”

Brian knew that he was lost when he saw the passion in those big eyes that had nearly turned black from it and he was only able to nod his assent, his mind too busy trying to cope with all the emotions going through him at that moment to be able to form a coherent reply.

Justin lay down at Brian's side and gently started to push up his shirt until Brian's chest was free. He licked up and down the muscles there before he took Brian's nipples into his mouth and sucked on them and gently bit into them, making Brian nearly jump off the bed in ecstasy. When he pulled back, he helped the brunet out of his shirt before moving down to his pants, slowly opening them, revealing Brian's boxer brief-clad erection and burying his face in it, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely Brian.

He then forced himself away from it, pulling down both the pants and the boxer briefs, revealing Brian's rock-hard erection that was begging for attention. Never one to be cruel, Justin leaned down and took it into his mouth, nearly crying out in happiness as that familiar taste filled his every sense. He carefully held Brian's hips in place which were bucking wildly as he licked up and down the sides of the brunet's member before he swallowed it as far as he could.

Brian was writhing and moaning on the bed and Justin knew that he enjoyed what he was doing. Brian had always loved Justin's mouth on him, but tonight that wasn't what Justin wanted. He wanted Brian to fuck him, so he regretfully pulled back after leaving one last kiss on Brian's leaking cock.

“You still taste the same,” he whispered as he moved up Brian's body and kissed him fiercely, allowing him to taste himself on Justin's tongue.

He squeaked in surprise when Brian took his arms and pushed him down and away from his body, making him lie down next to him before the older man climbed over him, still hungrily kissing Justin.

“My turn,” he panted into the kiss as he started to get rid of Justin's shirt.

“Oh yes, please...,” Justin moaned once he was out of his shirt, feeling Brian's hands travel to the zipper of his jeans, quickly opening it and removing the offending piece of clothing, pulling down Justin's boxers shortly after.

Justin had expected Brian to take him into his mouth as well or to kiss up his body, but all Brian did was sit there between his legs and look at his body in trance, his eyes getting glassy at the sight in front of him.

“So beautiful...you're so beautiful,” he whispered as he finally started moving his hand along Justin's side, making him smile gently at him.

Justin knew that this moment had to be quite emotional for Brian just like it was emotional for him, so he allowed Brian the time he needed to just take in the body beneath him, to appreciate its beauty while Justin took in Brian's body, wondering when the older man had gotten even more beautiful. To him Brian had always been sexy and good-looking, but now he seemed to be even more so than he had been when they had first fucked together and Justin definitely appreciated the sight in front of him.

After several minutes of just looking at each other and drinking the other's body in, Justin led his hand to Brian's face and made him look at his eyes. “Fuck me, Brian,” he whispered, his eyes shining with love and happiness.

“It will be my honour,” Brian replied as he leaned down and captured Justin's mouth in another passionate kiss.

He pulled back shortly after though, a frown on his face that made Justin look at him in confusion.

“What?”

“Do you have lube on you? I don't have any in here,” he said silently, blushing wildly as he looked at Justin who burst out laughing.

“What? You didn't prepare this? Man, it's not like neither of us knew it wouldn't happen at some point. How come you don't have lube in your bedroom?”

“Lots of cold showers...So...do you?” Brian smirked, already having seen the answer in Justin's face, not surprised when he shook his head, still laughing.

“Nope.”

Brian got up from the bed, forcing himself away from the delicious body on his bed and left for the bathroom, returning a few seconds later, holding up a bottle of lube in triumph.

“This will work just fine!”

Justin was still laughing, shaking his head at Brian. “How romantic.”

Brian smirked. “Yeah, I was always the romantic one, wasn't I?”

“Sure were,” Justin snorted before he decided that he had gone long enough without a kiss from Brian and pulled him down once more, effectively shutting up his reply which he had already started to give.

“Shut up...too much talking,” Justin moaned into the kiss, feeling glad when he felt Brian's hips rocking against his own, causing delicious friction for his cock.

Brian then started to prepare Justin, gently circling his hole with his lube-covered finger before pushing in carefully. He moved his finger around and felt Justin writhe at the sensation of being filled by Brian's finger and Brian smiled when Justin's eyes flew open and he exclaimed. “Oh shit!”

Brian had found his prostrate and quickly went to touch it once more before he added a second finger and a third finger shortly after. When he was sure that Justin was ready, he handed him the lube and held out his erect, condom covered penis to him so he could cover it with lube, gasping as Justin's hands came in contact with it, almost feeling like bursting right there and then.

Brian knew he wouldn't last long, but he wanted to be inside Justin when he came, wanted to be surrounded by that wonderful man lying in his bed, so he forced himself to breathe easy and calm down.

Justin lay down once more and spread his legs so Brian could settle inbetween them and he smiled to himself when he felt Brian push a pillow under his hips to raise them a bit before he positioned his cock at Justin's entrance. Before he pushed in, he took Justin's hands in his, holding on to them tightly, locking his eyes with Justin's.

“I love you, Sunshine,” he whispered as he slowly pushed in.

Justin moaned deeply at the intrusion and the feeling of being filled up by Brian. Once Brian was all the way in, he waited for a few seconds, searching Justin's face for any signs of pain or discomfort, but not seeing any, just seeing bliss and happiness and a goofy grin and he knew that he wore the same goofy grin on his face. Not that Brian Kinney ever grinned goofily, but well, you know?

Justin had finally come home. After years of having been lost and not having known where he belonged, he had finally come home as he felt Brian inside of him, felt him slowly start to move out and push back in right away. He was home! There was no other word for it. He felt perfectly content and knew that this was where he wanted to be for the rest of his life. At the side of this man who was now fucking him.

As Brian had expected neither lasted long and it didn't even take two strokes up and down Justin's cock before he came all over Brian's hand and his stomach. Brian followed suit shortly after as the feeling of Justin's muscles tensing around his cock also sent him over the edge and made him come hard inside his lover.

He collapsed on Justin's chest, panting wildly, trying to get his breath and body back under control when he saw tears come to the younger man's eyes. They were tears of happiness, tears of bliss and most of all tears of homecoming. They were back together and being together was still as breathtaking as it had always been.

Brian wasn't surprised when he saw the tears in Justin's eyes which were smiling up at him. Justin had always been emotional and this was no exception.

“Love you,” Justin whispered and Brian could only nod at the sentiment.

When he felt his body again a few minutes later, he moved down from Justin's body and settled next to him, taking him into his arms and holding him close.

“Promise me that we'll always be like this,” Brian said and he smiled when he felt the smaller man nod against him.

“Promise me that you'll always love me,” the voice spoke back and Brian smiled happily.

“I will.”

They were back together and this time nothing would tear them apart. This time they would stand the test of time, both of them were absolutely sure.