Chapter 5

Justin was exhausted.  It had been a month since Dan had passed away and he hadn’t had a full night’s sleep since.  He wasn’t sure which was making him more tired, Marcus seemed to be avoiding the fact Dan was gone.  He wanted to go out and do things.  He wanted to keep busy while Brian was the opposite.  He would rarely leave the house and Justin had to push him to eat and he had started hiding the hard liquor.  It was hard to put the wine away on a winery but that wasn’t what Brian went for.  Justin wished Brian had something to do.  Brian needed a project but he wouldn’t even consider it.

Justin thought he had the perfect answer. He had been asked to help set up a new gallery in Seattle.  Gus’ company had built the building and after talking to Brian, who had no opinion, Justin said he would do it.  He was sure Brian would come along. Neither of them liked being apart.  When he told Brian his decision, an argument ensued.

“Brian, you told me you didn’t care if I did or didn’t take this offer.”

“And I don’t but I never said I was coming with you.” Brian said as he walked out the door to the veranda. Justin followed him.

“Brian, come on.  I don’t want to be apart.  We both have said we want to be together if at all possible.  You have no reason to stay here. What are you going to do, watch the fines grow?”

“If I want to, yes.”

“Come on.  I know Dan’s passing…..”

“Don’t bring Dan into this.  It has nothing to do with Dan.”

“Bullshit!  Your best friend died.  Hell, his widower has moved on…..”

“Marcus acts like Dan was never here.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he was already dating. He acts like he never even loved….”

“Bri, that’s not fair.  Everyone handles things like this differently. He will face it when he’s ready and I’ll be there for him when he needs me.”

“Well, then take Marcus with you to Seattle.  That way you can be there for him.”

Justin looked at him and went back into the house.  Now was not the time to get into it.  He hoped Brian would think it through and come be with him.  He wouldn’t have taken the job if he thought Brian wouldn’t come with him but if he wanted to be stubborn, fine.  He would invite Marcus to come up, at least part of the time.  Brian was right about one thing.  He would worry about both of them if they weren’t with him so at least one of them might as well come along.  He pulled out his phone and called Marc.

“Hey, Justin, I was just thinking about you.  Do you think you and Brian would want to go out for dinner tonight.  I am at work right now so I thought maybe you would come to town and eat with me.” 

Justin could hear the tone of his voice was a bit manic.  That’s how he had been sounding since Hannah went back to school.  Marcus had slept at their house a couple nights but then he said he needed to start his new life.  Brian had taken that as if Marcus wanted to forget Dan.  Justin knew that wasn’t true but the two men closest to Dan were on two different wavelengths and he was stuck between them.  “That sounds great.  I was calling to talk to you about something but I will just wait until I see you.  I doubt Brian will join us but I will ask him.  Text me the details….time and place.”

“Ok, Justin, it isn’t going to cause you problems is it?”

“Don’t worry about it.  I’ll see you later.”

“Who are you going to see?” Brian asked as he walked into the house.

“Marcus.  You’re invited to come, too.”

“So you are just going to leave me here and go into town…”

“Brian, I just said you were invited but of course that would mean you would have to leave your bubble.  The bubble you aren’t willing to come out of.  What are you protecting yourself from? You are only trapping the pain in rather than keeping it out.” Justin took a couple steps toward the bedroom and then turned to face him.  “Brian, our time on earth is getting shorter every day.  I need to live what time I have left.” With that being said Justin changed clothes and without another word to him, he left.  

Justin started to drive to town but found himself turning toward Brinn’s.  He sat outside the house for several moments.  He was about to start the car up again when Brinn walked out. “Daddy, you coming in? Is something wrong?”

Justin got out of the car and walked up to the house, giving Brinn a hug and kiss.  “I shouldn’t have come by.  I don’t want you to worry.”

“What has Dad done now?”

“Your father has done nothing and I mean NOTHING! I asked him to go to Seattle with me while I set up the gallery and he refused.  I am not, well really, can not change that now.  He told me to invite Marcus so I am going to.  I’m on my way to town and then dinner with Marc.  If your father won’t come with me, I might as well have Marcus with me or I will just worry about both of them.”

“Oh, Daddy. I’m sorry Dad is doing this.  I thought he said he didn’t care?”

“Obviously, he didn’t. All he cares about is  himself and his own feelings right now. I really came here because I am worried about him when I am gone.  Will you check on him while I’m gone? I will be gone at least a month, maybe two and I will come home every couple weeks but I’m afraid he will just sit and drink.  He has nothing to keep him occupied.”

“Maybe the boys could move in with him.  Zander is actually going to be gone part of the summer but Brennon is going to be around.  We are going to have Gus make a few changes here.  Construction could drive Bren over there.” 

Justin could see her wheels turning.  “I think that would be a great idea. Brennon has the personality that will keep Brian active with something.”

“I’ll talk to him.  When do you leave?”

“They would like me there next week but definitely by early July. I think I will go up right after the Fourth of July.”

“Don’t worry about Dad.  He is just being...well, Dad.  He has always had a hard time adjusting. I will talk to Brennon and we will take care of him.”

“Thanks, Brinn, I feel better even though I miss your dad.”  Brinn hugged Justin.  She knew her dads had always had their rough spots but there was no doubt they loved each other and needed each other.  Her dad would come around. 

Justin left and went into town.  He stopped at a couple stores after letting Marcus know he was close and Marc let him know where to meet him in half an hour.  As Justin waited for Marcus to arrive he ordered a drink.  He sat at a table and could see Marcus as he walked in.  When he arrived Justin had to admit he looked good.  He had put on a little weight again but underneath his self assured demeanor, Justin could still see the pain in his eyes.  Brian didn’t understand Marcus was still grieving; he just had to do it his own way.

Once Marcus had ordered a drink and the men had put in their dinner order Marcus asked, “So what did you have to talk to me about? I have been curious since we talked earlier.”

Justin filled him in on the plans to go to Seattle.  “Marcus, come with me.  Not necessarily the whole time but I am sure you can be gone for a while and I don’t want to be alone the whole time.”

“And Brian won’t change his mind?”

“I doubt it.  Even if he does you could come, too.  I am staying in a house overlooking the sound. A friend of Gus owns it and is in Europe for the summer.  I think I will go up on July 5th and I know I will be really busy the first week but after that, my evenings should be free.  You know this area.  I’m sure you could find something to do during the days.”

“I like the idea.  Maybe I can come up around the 14th and stay until the end of the month.”

“I didn’t look forward to spending all my evenings alone.  Now we can check out the theater and other nightlife and if I go home for a weekend, you can decide if you want to stay or come back with me.”

As they ate their meal they talked about Seattle.  Marcus had spent time there when he was younger and was already talking about places he wanted to visit. By the time they were done eating they were both excited, and they both headed home.  When Justin arrived home he found Brian sitting out by the pool drinking his dinner. Justin walked over and put his hand on his shoulder, “Did you eat dinner?”

“No, I don’t like to eat alone,” Brian said with an attitude.

“Well, you could have joined us.  We had a nice dinner.”

Brian grunted in response.

Justin knew he shouldn’t have to but he offered, “Would you like me to get you something?”

“Trying to make up for being gone isn’t going to….”

“I am not trying to make up for being gone.  I didn’t do anything wrong!  Get your own damn sandwich.  I don’t know what you want from me but maybe I don’t have what you need anymore.  I was planning on going up to Seattle on July 5th.  Maybe you would rather I just pack and leave now.” With that Justin pivoted and went back in the house.  He knew Brian would come in after him in a few minutes.  Well, he thought he would. Maybe time apart in Seattle would be good.  He would talk to John in the next couple days and see if he would fly him up on the 5th.  John was officially retired but he still enjoyed flying and was always willing to fly them somewhere.

Justin went to his favorite spot, the front porch swing with a sketch pad and drew his view but soon he realized his focus in his sketch was no longer the vineyard but the silhouette of Brian looking at the rows.  In the drawing, the sadness was overwhelming him.  Justin was so absorbed in trying to finish the drawing before it was too dark, he didn’t notice Brian come out of the house.

“Sunshine?” he said it softly.  Justin turned and looked at him. “I brought you a glass of wine.  It’s your favorite.” Justin reached for it as he flipped the sketch pad over. He took a sip and stared off as Brian sat down next to him.  “You’re right.  You invited me along.  I just can’t stand seeing Marcus moving on like nothing has happened. He has just gone on….”

Softly, Justin said, “Brian, that’s not fair.  Just because he has his own way of dealing with his loss doesn’t make it wrong. Holing yourself away from the world isn’t living.”  He felt Brian tense. “I am not trying to pick a fight.  I am tired of fighting.  You do what you need to do.  Marcus is doing what he needs to do.  He is going to spend some time with me in Seattle. I don’t want to be there alone the whole time. I will be busy during the day but in the evenings it will be fun to do a little exploring with him, or you if you change your mind.”

“I’m too old to want to explore.”

Justin opened his mouth to say something but stopped.  He took a sip of his wine and rested his head on Brian’s shoulder. At this point nothing he said would do any good.  He raised his eyes to meet Brian’s and their lips met.  Justin laid his head back down and softly said, “Did you eat something?”

“Yes, I made a sandwich and ate some fruit salad from the fridge.”

“Thank you,” Justin responded. “Maybe it’s a good thing you aren’t coming to Seattle.  Brennon might need a place to stay for a couple weeks.  Brinn and Zach are having some remodeling being done at their house.  Zander will be gone but Brennon might prefer being here rather than in the mess.”

Brian smiled a bit.  “That would work for me.  He could cook for me.” Brian actually laughed a bit.

Justin smiled, yes, it would be good for Brennon to be here with his grandfather and he would feel better knowing Brian wouldn’t let him skip a meal so he would eat himself.  He made a mental note to talk to George about getting meals brought in. Then he was sure Brennon would eat.  Better yet, he would have Brennon talk to George.  That way he would have his favorites.

Brian put his hand on Justin’s Justin’s thigh. He ran his hand on the inner thigh and eventually ended up on his fly. “Justin, I…”  Justin moved his hand to Brian’s crotch. 

Justin stood and in one hand he held the wine glass but then he extended his empty hand to Brian. They locked the house up and walked to the bedroom, hand in hand.  Once in the room Brian pulled Justin close and kissed him with more passion than he had in a very long time.  Soon they were both naked on the bed and although their bodies were not as limber as they once were, their love was no less. Brian took his time and explored Justin’s body taking his time until Justin arched toward Brian’s mouth which he had focused on Justin’s cock.  “Oh,  please Brian, I want you.”

“Turn over, Sunshine.” Brian gently entered him and then moved slowly but with force.  It wasn’t long before Justin felt the reaction in his very core and he climaxed.  Brian soon stopped moving as he climaxed and pressed himself against Justin’s body. Justin took Brian’s hand and put it on his heart.

“Brian, I may get angry with you and I know you don’t understand it all yourself but I love you.  I will always love you and even when you can’t admit it you need to do something for your depression.  Talk to Nora. She will be able to help you figure this out.” Justin kissed the palm of his hand before replacing it back on his chest.  “Good night, my love.” 

Justin heard Brian’s breathing turn slow and deep.  He hoped eventually some of what he said would eventually sink in and maybe he would put a bug in John’s ear to have Nora just make a friendly call.  Maybe Matty and Nora could invite him to dinner while he was gone. Feeling the heat of Brian’s body had him relaxing and soon he was asleep himself.

The next few days Justin made sure everything was set for him to go to Seattle. He continued to try to convince  Brian to come along but, although Brian had made some progress, he still had what he could only explain as melancholia.  He was glad that Brian would only be alone a couple days before Brennon planned to move in with him.  He hoped to get a chance to talk to Brennon at the 4th of July party and let him know what to expect. 

As usual the picnic was at Shelby and Gus’.  Gage wasn’t going to make it back for his birthday party this year but Taylor would be there with Ian and Gabe. Trenton was coming as well as Brinn’s crew.  Shellby had invited Danny and his family as well as Marcus and Hannah but Danny and Elliott had taken vacation time to get away with the kids for a while so Hannah and Marcus planned to come.  Several other family members were invited and most would come and go, even if they didn’t stay for the fireworks, everyone would be there around 6:00 pm for the food.

By 4:00 Trenton was there helping Gus and Shelby with some last minute preparations. Shelby, as always, made him feel welcome and comfortable.  Gus and Trenton were out on the deck getting some extra chairs and umbrellas up along with a couple extra small tables to eat by. As they went to grab a few more towels for the pool, Gus realized they were both out of view of anyone who might show up early.  He stepped up to Trenton and slipped his hands into Trenton’s back pockets pulling him tightly against him as his tongue found its way into Trenton’s mouth.  “Pen, I love you.  I love you so much.” 

Trenton moved so Gus was pinned against the wall and his hand moved over Gus’ fly and then after opening it his hand moved into it.  Shelby had to grab a cooler and entered the back storage room and saw movement outside the small window. She glanced out and there was Trenton with Gus.  She had seen them kiss a couple times but they were very careful not to do anything more in front of her so as she watched, she saw the tenderness between them.  He really did love him and that didn’t distract from what he felt for her.  She had memories of Gus and Lucky when they first met.  The three of them had been together several times but that was just sex.  Lucky was not into relationships, he was into sex and Gus was so young then.  Seeing Gus with Trenton got the picture of Lucky pounding him out of her mind and the touch of Trent’s hand on Gus’ cheek was so sensual she shivered.  It was like a light came on and it was obvious to her what their relationship was about. The men broke apart and they both made sure their flies were shut and they moved back onto the deck.  She grabbed her cooler and went back to the kitchen.

Soon the house was filled with friends and family.  The evening was low key.  Everyone ate their fill of burgers and chicken breasts before sampling several desserts that were set out including the birthday cake for Taylor.  Shelby came up behind Gus and put her arms around his waist, kissing him at the pulse point below his ear.  He shivered. “You know if you do that more than a couple times I may take you to the back room right now.”

“I’d let you.” Shelby kissed him again but then stepped so she stood next to him, running her hand across his tight ass. “I saw you and Trenton today near the pool.”

“Oh, Shel, I am so sorry.  I didn’t mean for it to be more than a kiss but…”

Shelby stepped in front of him and put her arms around his neck as he pulled her close, “I’m not angry or even upset.  We can talk later.  I love you, Gus.”

“I love you, too, Shelly.” The kiss wasn’t very long but spoke of what was to come later tonight. “God, woman, you make me hot.”

Trent stood out on the deck and saw Gus and Shelby in the house and for the hundredth time in the past 20 years he wished he was in her place but at least he got to steal a few moments today. He sometimes wondered if he was too old to play these games but he realized it didn’t matter because Gus was not a toy.  He was the second man he had ever loved and he knew there would be no other.

Brian sat by the pool most of the day.  He was social when someone sat and talked to him but he didn’t search out a conversation and more than once Justin saw him looking around as if to find Dan to talk to.  He was sure that was what Brian was doing after dinner.  He started to get up as he scanned the group.  He saw Marcus standing next to Zach and then he saw Brian sag as he leaned back in his chair. Justin walked up putting his hand on  Brian’s shoulder and kissing the top of his head. “Do you want to wait for the fireworks or go home soon?”

“I don’t care.  I just really …”

“Then let me help Shelby straighten up and then we can go.  I have a big day tomorrow.”

Justin went in to help a bit but more to find Brennon.  “Hi, Grandpa,” his grandson came out of nowhere.

“Oh, Brennon, I am so glad to see you.  We are leaving soon but I just wanted to make sure that…

“I’ll stay with him. I’ll make him eat.  George is bringing a bunch of meal kits for me to fix.  I like to cook so he is helping me learn.”

“And I am sure he will drink some wine but don’t let him drink too much whiskey.”

“Grandpa, I love him, too and I will take good care of him.  Who is going to take care of you?”

“I will be working and Marcus is coming up next week and staying for a couple weeks.  I’ll come back and visit your grandfather unless you manage to get him to come to Seattle.” 

Brennon hugged and then kissed his grandfather, “I’ll take care of him.”

“I know you will. Thank’s, Bren. I better get Brian home before he loses patience with everything.”

Justin stopped by Marcus on his way outside, “Marc, I will call you once I’m settled.  You can let me know when you are coming up.”

“I will, Justin.  I should be ready by the beginning of next week. I just have to get one business sale completed and I will be on my way.  It will be good to get away.  It will be hard but it will be good.” Marcus kissed Justin just as Brian walked into the house.

“Fuck,” Brian said softly.  “Let’s go.” He tugged Justin out of Marcus’ embrace but then dropped Justin’s arm and strode out the door.

Everyone watched the event.  Gus walked up to his dad and said, “Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, Gus.  I’m fine.  Just keep an eye on him while I’m gone.  I’ll be in touch.” Justin hugged and kissed Gus and then rushed out after Brian.

Trenton came up to Gus and said softly, “Is everything with your dads….”

“Pops is just still grieving and, well, he’s old.  He’s lost his best friend other than dad and his own mortality is slapping him in the face.”

Trent slipped his arm around Gus’ waist without even thinking about Shelby. Gus laid his head on his shoulder for a minute and then he stepped away.  “I better go check if my guests need anything.”

“Maybe I should go home.  I don’t want…”

“No,” Gus said quickly, “please stay.”

“I don’t know…” Trenton was interrupted by Shelby.

“Trenton, please stay.  We would love it if you stayed for the fireworks.”

“Sure. Thanks, Shelby.”

“You are always welcome here.”

Justin didn’t even have the door of the vehicle shut before Brian started moving.  “Brian!” Justin shouted as he pulled the door shut.  Nothing was said between them as they drove the short distance home and this time Justin left the car without shutting the door.  He heard Brian slam his door and then heard when the second door was shut. He stood there facing the door waiting for the confrontation but Brian didn’t come inside.  After what seemed like a long time, Justin moved to the door and looked out.  Then he saw him. Brian was leaning over the hood of the car with his forehead resting on his hands and that’s when Justin heard it.  The fireworks had started. Dan had always been in charge of the fireworks.  On Marcus’ request, Tyler had taken over for Dan.  Dan had already hired someone to do the fireworks and Tyler just finalized everything. 

Justin wondered how Brian would handle this.  He slowly walked out and as he put his arm around Brian’s waist, Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s neck and sobbed.  His whole body was wracked with an inner pain Justin was unable to sooth. He could just support him as the distant sky lit up with bright colors and a distant boom and bang were heard from time to time. Eventually, Justin managed to get him into the house.  He helped Brian undress and got him into bed. He laid down next to Brian and pulled him close. He had hoped they would have one last night of lovemaking before he left for a few weeks.  Instead, Brian cried himself to sleep.

Back at Gus and Shelby’s Hannah stood with her dad and although they both shed some tears they smiled, knowing how much Dan always enjoyed them.  He had told Marcus once that the Taylor-Kinney’s always did so much for them that this was the one thing he could do for all of them. When the fireworks were done, everyone talked about Dan and took turns hugging Marcus and Hannah before everyone went their own way.

Soon it was just Gus, Shelby, and Trenton.  Tally had gone with Justice for a late party at friends and they would be staying overnight so it was just the three of them.  “I better go home.  Thank you for always making me feel welcome, Shelby.”

“Trent, stay.  Have a cup of coffee or some iced tea.”

“Shelby, that’s nice of you but…”

“Trenton, Gus, sit on the sofa.  I want to talk to you.”

The men walked together and sat side by side with a little space between them.  “Pen, she saw us today.” Reflexively, Trenton moved a couple more inches away from him.

“Oh, god, I am so sorry.  I just should stay away from here.  Shelby, I don’t want to come between you and Gus, ever.  I would never hurt either of you.” Trenton flushed thinking about their actions.

“Trent, it became real to me today.  You and Gus love each other.  It has nothing to do with me.  It has nothing to do with our love for each other.  I had images of something that was just an animalistic ….. Well I was so wrong.  I just wanted you to know that you two deserve to spend time together.  If you want to …..I am willing to share him.  I’m going to bed now.  Gus, I’ll see you in an hour or so?”

Gus got up and kissed her. He brought his mouth to her ear, “Thank you, my love.”  

As Shelby walked up the stairs she was sure she heard the weight of the men laying down on the sofa.

“Gus, are you sure? Is she serious? Is something wrong with her?”

“No, Pen, nothing is wrong.  I am just married to a wonderfully, understanding woman who has finally gained enough confidence to know that you are not a threat to her. By now, Gus was on top of Pen and his hand had completely undone his fly.  

“Oh, god, Gus, I need you.” Gus slid down Trenton and soon had his cock deep in his throat. He knew Trent could only last a few minutes when Gus did this.  He was very skilled with his tongue and Trent grabbed desperately at his hair and pulled him up. “No, Gus, I need to be …. If you think Shelly…” 

Before he finished the sentence, Gus had his pants off and had bent over the arm of the sofa. Trent was up and slipped on a condom before wrapping an arm around Gus’ waist and then entering him. Gus arched and turned his head so he could reach Trenton’s lips. Gus’ arm wrapped around Trenton’s neck and as they got in a rhythm their tongues continued to touch and taste each other. Trenton threw his head back and bit his lip as he drove in one last time. Both men shuttered and collapsed forward.  

When they both caught their breath Trenton said, “Did we really just do that in your living room?”

“Yes, Pen, and it was amazing!”

“I think I better get out of here. Shelby has been very patient.”

“She is wonderful,” both men got up and redressed.  Gus turned into Trent’s arms, “I will call you tomorrow.  I want a night at your place.  I think a night out on bed swing would be perfect.” Gus ran his hand over Trent’s crotch, making his still sensitive cock shiver.

“I love you, Gus.”

“I love you, Pen.” As the words came out Trenton crushed Gus’ mouth.

“I can’t believe you are actually saying it.  It sounds so amazing to me.  I never expected to….” he took a deep breath, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” As Trenton drove away, Gus bounded up the steps.

Shelby lay in bed naked.  “Want to scrub my back in the bathtub?” she smiled as she stood.  As Gus followed her, he shed his clothes. Once they were settled into the bubbling water, Shelby rested against Gus, “Gus, I won’t ask if you had a good time but Trenton is welcome here.”

Gus kissed her neck. “Did you know you are so…..amazing doesn’t cover it.”

“Just don’t hurt me, Gus. Be honest and open.”

“Oh, god, I would never hurt you but I knew I was hurting him by holding back.  What I feel for him doesn’t take anything away from you.”

“I do know that now.” Shelby rested her head on Gus’ clavicle.  She took Gus’ hands and placed them on her breasts and Gus took it from there.  Soon one hand had gone down her body and he began to tease her clit until she cried out.  As Gus continued to rub her nipples, Shelby’s body began to climb to climax again.”

Justin slipped out of bed early, trying not to wake Brian.  It had been a rough night for him.  Even though he slept, he tossed and turned. He whimpered and called Dan’s name more than once. Justin had just stepped under the water when he felt Brian’s presence.  He brought his arms around Justin’s upper arms and pulled him against him. “I’m sorry, Sunshine.  I didn’t plan to…. I think it’s good you are getting away from me.  I know I’m not myself.”

Justin turned and embraced, Brian around the waist, pressing their torso’s together.  “I know last night was very difficult.”

“It didn’t seem to effect the widower,” Brian grumbled.

“Brian, he did that for Dan.  You don’t think he didn’t go home and sob himself to sleep.  He had to go to an empty bed.”

“Will he be going to an empty bed when you are in Seattle?”

“Brian, I wanted you to come with me.  I’m not promising we may not share a bed but I promise we will not have sex.”

He felt Brian’s body relax a bit.  Brian kissed him, “I would not be good company anyway.  When are you coming back home?”

“I am guessing I will come home in two or three weeks on the weekend. We’ll talk everyday, I hope.  I love you, Bri.  And I am going to miss you so much.”

Brian held him tight for several moments before he began to soap up Jusitn’s body and hair. “I don’t deserve you but I couldn’t live without you.”

When they got out and dried off, Justin needed to hurry.  John would be picking him up soon.  Justin was packed but had to dress and get his hygiene kit together.  Brian followed him out to the veranda to wait, Brian pulled him close and the two took their time kissing.  Their lips and tongues still enjoyed exploring each other and when John pulled up they didn’t even notice.

John smiled, his uncles had been together 50 years but when he watched them like this, he couldn’t wait to get to that age with Tony. He got out of the SUV and grabbed Justin’s luggage.  Justin looked over at John for a moment and smiled.  He pressed himself tightly against Brian for one more moment and then stepped away.

“I’ll call you when I get there.  I love you, Brian.”

“Oh, Sunshine.  I love you, too.”  After one more kiss, Justin got in the vehicle and they drove away.

“Everything good, Justin? Brian looked a little….”

“I don’t expect him to get over Dan, but he needs to figure out how to move on.  Maybe it will help if Marcus and I aren’t here for a while.”

“And Brian’s Ok with you and Marcus….”

“Marcus and I will not be doing anything we wouldn’t do in front of Brian and I assured him of that.” Justin was quiet for a few moments. “Marcus isn’t ready for anything and of course I wouldn’t without Brian’s permission.”

“I don’t know how you give permission to the man you love to have sex with someone else. I can’t even stand for Tony to touch another man.”

“Tony hasn’t done that recently, has he?”

“Not that I know of and I think I would know. As far as I know it was only that time years ago back in Pittsburgh. I just….” John pulled up to the hanger and they got out.  The plane had already been through a preflight check so John just did the final inspection and with Justin sitting in the co-pilot's seat the plane lifted off.

As they landed in Seattle three hours later, Justin thanks John and had to add, “If you have a chance, stop by Brian’s once a week or so, ok, John? I know Brennon is staying with him but we both know a hyper teenager might not be what he always needs.  Gus will stop by, too but…”

John hugged Justin, “We’ll take care of Brian and if he wants a flight up I will make sure I am available.”

“Thanks, John. I miss him already.”

“I know, Justin.  He loves you, too. That was so obvious when I saw the two of you today. You two need each other.”

“Always have and always will.” 

Justin and John had lunch at the airport before  John flew back.  Justin had texted Brian they had landed and that he would call as soon as he was settled in the house looking over the sound.  It was stunning.  He missed Brian so much already but he also knew he needed a break to regain his own strength physically and mentally.  By the time Marcus arrived he hoped to feel much stronger so he could help Marcus through it.  

“Hey, Sunshine,” Brian had warmth in his voice if not enthusiasm. 

“Brian, this house is amazing.  I remember Gus talking about it when he was designing it last year but this place is just spectacular.  I can see the ocean in the distance.”

“Sounds great.”

“Did Brennon contact you like he said he would?”

“Ya, he will be moving in tomorrow.  Do you think I  can manage one night myself or should I call in another babysitter?” there was an edge to his voice.

Justin sighed, “Bri, I know you can take care of yourself. But I also know you are still mourning and being alone isn’t good.”  There was silence on the other end. “Babe, are you there?” 

“I’m here.”

“I love you, Brian.  I miss you already.”

“You could be here.”

“Brian, please, I am not going to get into this again. I talked to you about this job before I took it and you did not ask me to stay even when I asked your opinion,” Justin felt his blood pressure go up.  “I love you, Brian but I need to go. I just can’t….” Justin ended the call before he said something else.

Brian looked at his phone.  This is when he would call Dan and Dan would tell him he was being an ass. Brian called Dan’s number and listened to his voice for the 100th time.  “Dan, I miss you so much but I have to stop this.  I need to move on.  I just don’t know how.”  Brian said this into the full mailbox.  He had heard the edge on Justin’s voice before he hung up.  He had to change this or his beautiful husband may move on and he wouldn’t blame him.

As Brian went to dig up a bottle of Jack, well anything besides wine, his phone rang.  Justin called him back! That was his first thought but it was Brennon. “Hey Bren, what’s up?”

“Grandpa, dad got excited and took my bed apart.  I know I could stay in one of the other bedrooms but since I am moving in with you can I do it tonight?”

Brian leaned against the counter, “Your grandpa didn’t just call or text, did he?” He could see Justin texting Brennon to come tonight.

“No, why?”

“No reason.  Of course you can come over. I am not sure what we’ll have for dinner because George’s food is being delivered tomorrow.”

“I’ll make you something.  I’ll just dig through your cupboards and find something.”

Brian had to smile.  He remembered having energy like that. “I’ll be here, Bren.  See you soon.” So much for having a day to drink and wallow, Brian thought but he had to smile, too.  His phone pinged and he looked at it.

‘Gramps, get on your trunks, and yes you have to wear them.  We are going to swim.’  Bossy little shit.  He really had a lot of Justin in him. He loved all his grandchildren but he had to admit Brennon….well, Brennon was Brennon.

Justin arrived at the gallery bright and early the next morning.  He was anxious to get started.  The place was amazing.  As Justin walked through it for the first time the huge open space started to come to life.  He pictured partial, moveable walls that could be adjusted for each show.  He could picture different colors in different spots and looked at a wall they mentioned they would like a simple mural on.  His mind was already churning through ideas.  This was going to be great.

The remainder of the week Justin sketched and discussed and adjusted his plans and by the weekend he was tired but happy. He spent the weekend roaming through quaint shops and buying things for the family.  He found an antique necklace that was so perfect for Shelby and then he saw a bracelet that screamed Brinn.  He picked up both of them and gave his card to the owner.  He let him know he would be around about a month and was interested in any other unique pieces he came across.

“If you are really interested in this kind of jewelry, I am going to an estate auction tomorrow. I would love to have you accompany me,” the owner said flirting with Justin as he did so.

Justin smiled, remembering the day he would have been tempted to take the 40 something year old up on his unspoken invitation.  “I think I have enough to do this weekend but thanks for the invitation and if you see anything I might like, send a picture to that phone number and I will give you a top price.  I will give you say 40% over the price?”

“Oh, Mr. Taylor, I would be glad to do that.”

“Justin, please.”

“You are him, aren’t you?  I mean you are the artist. I have gone to see every one of your exhibits when they were in town.”

“I’m flattered.” The younger man laid his hand on Justin’s and squeezed. “Do you need someone to show you the city? I would…”

Justin took a step back, “Actually, I have a friend flying in and he has an itinerary planned out,” he lied.  “I better go now. I have a few more….but I am interested in more jewelry,” Justin said as he escaped out the door. For a split second he let himself imagine the tight body of the young man but then Brian’s face drifted into his thoughts and he knew Brian had more everything than the business owner could even imagine.

Justin spent the rest of the weekend painting as he looked over the sound.  He just felt so free right now.  He and Brian spoke every day and, even though he wouldn’t be coming to Seattle any time soon, Brennon was making him laugh and hearing Brian laugh lifted his spirits, too.  

By Monday, late in the afternoon, Justin rushed to the house.  Marcus would be there soon. He started the grill when he heard Marcus had landed and he put baked potatoes in the oven.  He had picked up some dessert at a little bakery nearby and several bottles of wine.  Tonight was for indulging.  They wouldn’t do that every night but tonight they could splurge.  He had bought a load of fresh seafood that he would put on the grill soon.  He kind of hated giving up his solitude but he was ready to see Marcus.  

Marcus rang the doorbell and looked around the corner to see a bit of the sound.  Justin’s voice came over the doorbell, “Door’s open. Come all the way through to the deck.”  Marcus heard a buzz and walked in.  He was greeted by light streaming from the back of the house all the way to the front door.  He dropped his bag and moved through the house until he saw Justin standing at the grill.  He rushed out the door and into Justin’s arms.  The men kissed and hugged for a long time without saying a word.  

“It is so good to see you,” Justin said as he stepped back, “and you are looking great! I can tell you’ve gotten a little sun the last week.” 

“I spent a couple days with Danny and Elliott and the kids.  We talked about Dan a lot and it was good.  I told them about when we met and how I didn’t want to admit I loved a man but I knew from the first night I did.” 

Justin poured them each a drink and walked to the grill to turn the food. “It will be done in just a few minutes.  Do you want to  clean up or anything before we eat? The view is so amazing out here I have been eating out here most nights.”

“If you point me toward my room I’ll drop by bag in there and wash up a bit. I’ll be back in five.” Justin pointed to a door and Marc reentered the house.  Marcus entered the spacious room.  He wondered what the sleeping arrangements would be.  He knew just because his things were in this room didn’t mean he would sleep here.  He knew he wasn’t ready for anything and he knew Justin would never betray Brian but ….. Nights were the hardest.

“Marc, you coming? I am finishing the potatoes off on the grill right now.  Can you grab the pitcher off the counter when you come through?”

“Got it,” Marc came out of the bedroom.  There was a pitcher full of something fruity on the counter, “Why do I think this is something deadly?”

“Probably because it is.  I told them I would be in late tomorrow.  I actually said it would be after lunch.” Justin kissed Marc’s cheek. “I really have enjoyed some time alone here but I have missed you.”

“I have missed you, too,  Justin. I almost went to your house a couple times last week but I get the feeling I wouldn’t be very welcome there.”

“I’m so sorry, Marcus. Brian just has to do this in his own time.  I know it isn’t easy and you aren’t doing anything wrong.  Everyone deals with these things in their own way.  Brian just has to process this.”

“That doesn’t make it easy for you.” Marcus cracked in to a king crab leg.  

“No, but Brennon is staying with him and I think that is really good for him.  He sounds good on the phone.”

“If he wants to come up, I would understand.  I ….”

“He isn’t that ready yet.  And if I admit it, I’m not ready for him yet.  I need to recover a bit more.”

“Tell me if I am being too much.  I do know how much you have been going through between the two of us.”

“Eat, Marcus.  This is too good to let it go completely cold.” Justin dipped a large lump of crab meat into butter and then stuck it in Marcus’ mouth.

His eyes rolled back in his eyes as he savored the flavor. “That nearly made me cum, that is so delicious.”  After saying it, Marcus went silent as he ate.

Justin reached over and touched Marc’s arm, “Dan would have laughed if he heard you say that.  Dan had a great sense of humor, even though he tried to hide it.”

“Everything about Dan was great,” he sighed.  “I miss him so much.”

“You know he would want you to go on. I’m not saying he would want you to jump into bed with every man you see but… He wouldn’t expect you to not ever have sex again.”

“I know that and I’m not ready for…..well my body might say something different but I am not ready and won’t be ready to date for a very long time.  I can’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else.”

Justin refilled their glasses, “I know this isn’t going to help but I think we both deserve to forget everything tonight.  Tomorrow I will suffer through work and you can explore some of your favorite places and then this weekend….well this weekend we will see what plans we can come up with.”

“I don’t know what is in this stuff but, god it’s good and it is lethal!” Marcus said before downing the entire glass and held it out for a refill. “And you’re right, we deserve to just forget everything tonight.”

They ate and they drank until the sun set and the air off the water went cool. Justin offered his hand to Marcus and as he stood they leaned into each other and kissed. At first it was just a gentle kiss but then it deepened.  When they stepped apart, Marcus looked deep into Justin’s loving eye, “Justin, can I sleep with you? I don’t want anything else. I just need to feel someone next to me.”

“Oh, Marc, of course, of course you can share my bed. I could use the warmth myself.”

Ten minutes later Justin pulled Marcus close.  “Is the room spinning for you?”

“Ya. what did you put in that stuff?”

“Just a little of this and a little of that and, oh ya, it might be the cannabis brew I put in it.”

“That’s why I feel so relaxed. I love you, Justin. Good night.” Marcus kissed Justin once more and then fell into a deep restful sleep.

Justin repositioned himself and soon joined Marcus in a deep sleep.

“Hey, Gramps, Mom said that Marcus flew to Seattle today.  What’s he doing there?”

“Running away,” Brian said under his breath. 

“What?” Brennon asked from the kitchen where he was making a late night snack.

“I think he hopes to forget, although I think he is forgetting Dan fast enough. I wonder if he even…” Brian stopped.

“Why don’t you like Marcus?” Brennon sat next to Brian giving him a small bowl of ice cream and set a huge bowl down in front of him. He took a spoonful and looked at Brian.

“It’s not that I don’t like him but, I just don’t know how he can just forget his husband so easily.  I mean after more than 25 years…..and by Fourth of July he was having a great time with friends.”

“Grandpa, we all have our own ways of dealing with stuff.  Marcus knows Dan would want him to keep living his life.  Hell, he’s still a fox.  Maybe I should see if he would like to teach me a thing or….”

“Brennon,” Brian said sharply but then reached over and touched his cheek, “having him alone with my husband is bad enough,” he said softly.  “I think I should go to bed.  I’m tired.”

“Grandpa, did I say something wrong?” Brennon took his hand and squeezed it.

“I’m just old and crotchety. Just ignore me, everyone else does.”

“Is that aimed at Grandpa since he went to Seattle? I never seen anyone love another person as much as the two of you love each other.  He left because he had a short term job offer.”

Brian sighed, “I know. I’m tired.  I’ll see you in the morning.” 

Brennon hugged Brian tightly.  “Can we go into town tomorrow? I could use a little shopping trip.  I’ve grown a lot this summer and some of my clothes is even too tight for a gay twink.”

Now Brian threw his head back and laughed, “I think that might be just what I need.  It’s been a long time since I took a twink shopping.” Brian started walking out of the kitchen but turned at the last minute, “I love you, Brennon.”

“I love you, too, Grandpa.” He bounded over and gave him a hug before going back and sat by his ice cream.  “I’ll make sure everything is locked when I go to bed.”

Brian waved over his shoulder and walked down the hall to his bedroom.  Shopping with his grandson was going to be interesting. He smiled as he shut his bedroom doors.