Chapter 2

“It is so good to see you at our house.  I know you were here about six months ago but it seems like it's been a lot longer. Dan is dozing off.  He will be up in a little bit.  Let me get you a glass of wine,” he lifted the glass he had in his hand.

Justin had a feeling that wasn’t his first glass since he got home, “Sure, Marcus.  Sounds good.  Is there something I can do to help with dinner?”

“I have something in the oven.  It will be ready in about 40 minutes.” Marcus responded as he poured Brian and Justin a glass of wine.

Brian took a sip, “You know, I could lay down myself for a little while.  Do you mind if I join your husband?”

“No, go ahead. Brian, he…”  Marcus tilted his glass backward, draining it.

Brian kissed Marcus’ cheek, “I know, Marcus.”  Brian headed down the hall and entered the bedroom silently. He looked at the bed and saw Dan laying there under a thin blanket.  He could tell how much thinner he was in the last six months.  Brian slipped under the blanket next to him and draped his arm around his thin body.

“Red?”

“Sh...sleep, Dan.  We can talk later.” Brian kissed his cheek.  “We have lots of time to catch up.” He felt Dan relax against him before closing his eyes himself.

Justin put an arm around Marcus and directed him to  the sectional. They sat and Marcus’ head dropped onto Justin’s shoulder, “It’s too hard, Justin.  I don’t know if….it’s just too hard.” Justin wrapped his arms around him.

“Oh, Marc, I know this is hard.  I remember when Brinn was a baby and Brian struggled for the next breath…. I didn’t want to live but ….” Justin kissed his forehead, Marcus’ whole body trembled.  “We’re here for both of you.  We love both of you so much.” Justin stroked Marcus’ hair as he dropped little kisses on his cheek and forehead.

Marcus reached for his glass but Justin stopped him, “Forgetting it doesn’t make it go away. You have a family that loves you and that will always be there for you and Brian and I ….. Well, any other husbands wouldn’t have put up with us.  I love you, you know that, right?”

Marcus looked into his eyes and slowly they came together. Justin gently brushed his lips against Marcus’.  Marcus placed his hands on either side of Justin’s face and he crushed his lips against Justin’s.  The kiss went on for some time but then Justin pulled away, “Marc, I think it is time for us to set the table.  We aren’t going anywhere.  We will see each other every day.” 

Justin got up and offered his hand to Marcus, “Let’s go set the table. Will Dan be able to join us?” Marcus nodded as they walked to the kitchen.

“Brian, it is really you? I thought I had dreamed it.” Dan’s voice was a ghost of what it had been.

“You were having a nightmare, were you?” Brian smiled and kissed his friend. “Oh, am I allowed? I mean germs….”

“If you can’t kiss me, there is no use living. I am so worried about Marcus.  You will take care of him, right?”

“Trying to pawn off your husband, are you?  If you forgot, I already have one of my own.”

“I was afraid I might not see you again.”

“So you thought I would kick off before I could make it back.”

“Brian, I missed you.  You know I love Marcus with all my heart and my kids, I can’t imagine life without them but I need to know you are here for them when I won’t be.”

“Dan...of course I will.  I was trying to act like everything would be great, but we both know…”

“The doctor says I probably have a couple months. No one can deny that.”

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

“No, I’m on too many painkillers and I can take as many as I want! Reminds me of the good old days.”

“Dan, you were never into that.”

“I didn’t have my own pharmacologist like some people did.”  Dan started coughing and Brian handed him a glass of water that was on the side of the bed. After he took a sip he continued, “We better go see if dinner is ready.  I’m only good for a couple hours before I need to sleep again.”

The four men had an enjoyable meal but soon, Brian and Justin were feeling the time change so after Brian helped Dan to bed, they left with a promise to be back the next day. Once they arrived home, Brian and Justin, although it was early, they went to bed. Brian hadn’t said a word since they left Dan and Marcus. Once they were in bed, Brian laid his head on Justin’s chest.

“Bri, did you have a nice talk with Dan?”

“Justin, it’s all so real now. Dan won’t be here by the time the leaves change color. God, Justin, I can’t remember when Dan wasn’t there for me.  I remember the first time I saw him with that boyfriend of his.  I thought that if you weren’t by my side, I would have him in bed within the day.”

“And I am sure you would have.  He had it bad for you. There was a time when I was very jealous.”

“There was a time you had a reason to be. I know you were with him when we were apart.”

“I didn’t hide it from you.”

“No, you didn’t. We both had our moments but I never doubted we wouldn’t get back together. We needed to be together.”

“And I still need to be with you but,” Brian kissed him, “it will have to wait until tomorrow.  I want you but I know I am too tired to…”

Justin stroked his hair, “Good night, my love.” Together they drifted off.

Soon they got into a schedule.  Every morning they went over to Dan and Marcus’.  Justin and Marcus would take a walk or run into town while Brian and Dan talked. They usually went back mid afternoon for a few minutes but then in the evening one of their kids would come over.  Sometimes Marcus would come over for a few minutes.   The kids and grandkids popped in and out and Brian regained his strength as Dan got weaker.

“Pops, I’m a grandpa. You’re a great grandfather.  It’s a boy.  She had a boy and she named him Gabriel.  He is beautiful.  I’ll send you a picture.” 

“Brian, is it Dan? What time is it? The sun isn’t even up.” Justin said groggily.

“Not Dan.  Taylor had her baby.  It’s a boy named Gabriel.”

“Oh, Gus, I am so happy,” Justin said into the phone after pulling it out of Brian’s hand.

“Dad, I need to go.  We can go see her.  I’ll send a picture and will call you later in the morning.”  With that the phone went dead.

“Well, that was worth waking up before the sun!” Justin kissed Brian and before he knew it, Brian had him pinned to the mattress. “I can feel someone else is up before the sun, too.” Justin’s hand slid down Brian’s body and grasped him gently. “God, you’re hard, Brian.”  Justin rested his thigh on Brian’s hip and Brian entered him.  He began to move. Justin knew he had been gaining strength but this morning, Brian seemed to be back.  A new life might be just what he needed.  They had been around death too much the last year and watching his best friend die a little each day was very hard on him but he wouldn’t miss any time he could have with Dan so a baby might be just what they all needed.

“Oh, Brian Kinney, I love you!” Justin shouted as he came harder than he had in months. Brian followed with a loud grunt before collapsing backward pulling Justin with him.

“That felt amazing! What do you say we get up, take a shower, and then have breakfast with Marcus and Dan before going to see our new Great Granddaughter?”

“That sounds perfect,” Justin rolled to rest his chest on Brian’s and kissed him.  The kiss was long and slow.  He probed every nook of Brian’s mouth and soon his hand slid down Brian’s body and  when he found him hard again he moved his mouth to his ear and said,  “Think we can go one more time?”

“Turn over,” Brian said with emphasis. 

Fifteen minutes later they stood under the spray of water.   Justin slowly ran the bar of soap over Brian’s back.  “You never stop amazing me, darling. Two months ago you barely…..  Well, we will never be 40 again.”

“As long as we are together, I don’t have to be 40 again.”

Justin slid his wet body against Brian’s. “I think we better get moving.  Dan and Marc are expecting us.”  They got out and as they dressed Brian saw Justin’s look drift off.

“What is it, Sunshine? You just drifted off somewhere.”

“I was just thinking about Marcus and Dan,” he pulled on his shirt as he walked over to Brian and straightened his collar.  “I know what it 

is like to lay next to the man I love and not be able to… I wonder how long it has been since they….I just don’t know what I would do if….”

“Well, when the time comes, you and Marcus will at least have each other.”

“He isn’t you, Brian”

“I know that but you two will keep each other happy.”

“Let’s get breakfast ready,” Justin said as he walked out of the room.  He didn’t want to think of a world without Brian and after this morning he didn’t think he had to worry about that for a long time. Brian was feeling strong again.

Marcus opened the door for Brian and Justin, “I’m glad you are here.  Brian, I hope you can get him to eat something.  He didn’t eat dinner and now he is refusing breakfast.  He needs to eat.”

Brian stopped and hugged Marcus.  They always hugged but this time Brian stopped and held onto him for a few more moments, reassuring him with his touch. “I’ll do my best, Marcus.”  Justin set the basket of food they had brought, down on the counter and Brian grabbed a couple rolls and a little fruit.  “I don’t care what he eats as long as he eats.  I figure the rolls will be best for him. Or maybe this?” Brian found some oatmeal Justin  had made.  He added some cinnamon and sugar, along with a little butter and then he picked up the tray of food and moved toward the bedroom.

Justin made himself at home and poured himself a cup of coffee.  Marcus watched him as he came back to the counter and they sat down next to each other.  “You look like you are in a good mood,” Marcus said as he looked at Justin’s smiling face.

“Oh, I didn’t show you the picture.  This is Gabriel.” Justin handed his phone to Marcus.

“He’s beautiful.  You’re going to go see him, right?”

“Yes, when we leave here. Are you doing Ok? Can I do anything for you?”  Justin kissed Marcus’ cheek.

“You are here and that’s perfect.”

“We’ll always be here for you. Well, I do have a couple days we’ll be gone but we already told Danny so he has an idea when he may need to be here a little more often.”

“Danny and El are busy enough without us.”

“Well, I think Hannah is supposed to be here then, too.”

They both picked up their coffee and sipped it.

“Hey Dan, I’m a great grandpa.  Can you believe that?  Me?”

“Congratulations,” he said softly.   

Brian set the tray down and helped Dan sit up.  He picked up the bowl of oatmeal and sat down on the edge of the bed. He filled the spoon and brought it to Dan’s mouth.  Without thinking about it, Dan opened his mouth.  Brian just continued to talk as he fed Dan, not letting him think about it.  

Dan had eaten about half the bowl when he shook his head, “No more.” he said softly.

“Dan, I know what it’s like when you don’t want to eat.  I remember but you need to.  Marcus isn’t ready for you to go anywhere yet.”

“I...it might be best if I was just gone.  Last night, he doesn’t know I know, but Marcus had to get himself off.  He is still young and he is wasting his life with me.”

“He doesn’t see it that way.  He loves you.  You are his life and he is watching it…..Just don’t give up yet, Dan.  We aren’t ready for you to go.”  Brian leaned over and gently kissed him. 
“I love you, Dan Reed.  Don’t ever forget that.”

“I never doubted that, Brian. Now, go take Justin to see that baby and I will see you later. I’m really tired now.”  Dan stretched out and Brian brought the blanket up for him.  “Brian,” Brian stopped as he held the tray, “I love you, too.”

“Rest, Dan.  I’ll see you later.”

Brian and Justin left for the hospital after Brian assured Marcus Dan had eaten all of that himself.  “How is he today, Brian?”

“It’s a low day but that doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be much better. You know how those cycles go.”   Justin sat silently for a few moments. “Spit it out, Sunshine.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really.”

“Justin, what is it!” Brian said sharper than he meant to. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”  He reached and squeezed Justin’s hand.

“I’m worried about Marcus.  He desperately needs time away.”

“And?”

“I was just thinking maybe he could come with us when we go to that award thing for me in a couple weeks.  LA might be just what he needs.  It is only 2 nights and it isn’t far if we needed to…”

“Justin, why don’t I stay back and you take Marcus.”

“No, Brian.  I want you there with me.”

“How about if you two drive down for the extra stuff and I have John fly me down just for the ceremony and then I can drive back with you?  I think Marcus needs a little time alone with you but you’re right.  I want everyone to know you are mine.”

“I always have been and always will be.”  Brian pulled into the parking lot and as soon as the car was in park, Justin leaned over and kissed him.  “I think that would be perfect. I really want you there but you’re right. Marcus does need a little down time and as much as he loves you, you still make him nervous.”

“Let’s go see that great grandson.” Brian said as he stepped out of the vehicle. 

“Oh, Pops, does your heart explode every time you have a grandchild?”

“Yes, I would say that is pretty accurate.  You don’t think you can love anyone like your kids but then you see your grandkids and you know they are part of you and your kid.” Brian had an arm around Gus while Justin held little Gabriel sitting on the edge of his mother’s bed.

“Taylor, he is just perfect.”

“He is, isn’t he, Grandpa?”

“I am so glad we were here.”

“So am I, and I’m glad he,” Taylor nodded toward Brian, “is here with you.”

“Oh, yes, sweetheart, and he is doing so well.”

Taylor smiled and squeezed Justin’s hand, “I don’t know what we would do without him.”

“Who are we doing without and are you ever going to let me hold my great grandson?” Brian said as he walked over.  He kissed Taylor and then he kissed Justin as he took Gabriel from him.  “Well, Gabe, welcome to the Taylor Kinney clan.  I’m not saying you will never have struggles but you will never go without and you will always be loved.”  Brian held the infant in his large hands and brought him up and kissed his forehead before handing Gabe to his mother.

Brian and Justin didn’t stay long.  When they left Shelby and Gus were snuggling on a small sofa that was in the room with Gabe snuggled in his grandmother’s arms. As they walked down the hall they saw a familiar face at the nurse’s station.  “Trenton, it is great to see you!” Justin said as he hugged the writer. As Brian and Trent shook hands, Justin continued, “Are you here to see the baby?”

“Well, I’m here to drop off some flowers for Taylor and a little gift for Gabriel. I didn’t want to intrude.  I thought I would….”

“Get your ass down that hall.  You love Taylor and she loves you.  You go see that beautiful boy.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to….”

“I’d go if I were you.  You don’t want Brian to get  riled.” Justin hugged him again, “Go see that baby.  It’s as close to a grandchild as you will have.”

“You’re sure it will be….” Brian literally pushed Trent toward the door.  He smiled over his shoulder and moved toward the room.

Trenton knocked softly before sticking his head in the room.  “I don’t want to bother you.  I just have a little something for you and the baby.”  He hadn’t noticed Gus and Shelby around the corner.

“Uncle Trenton, come in!  You are never a bother.” As he stepped in he saw Gus and Shelby with the baby. 

“Oh, he is so beautiful, just like his mother.”  Trenton handed Shelby the flowers and stuffed animal and then brushed a kiss on her forehead.  He then shook Taylor’s husband’s hand. “Do I need to say you are beautiful, too?” Trent asked him and everyone laughed.  It was true, Trenton thought.  Taylor had found a man anyone would be attracted to.  They all chatted pleasantly for a few minutes before Trenton said, “I really do need to keep moving.  I am supposed to have a phone interview and I need to get home and get some notes together.”

“Let me walk you out,” Gus stood.  Goodbyes were said and Gus walked out with Trenton.  “Do you have a free night?” Gus asked as they got to Trenton’s car.

“I have a lifetime of free nights,” he said a little melancholy.  He reached out and touched Gus’ cheek.  

Gus heard the tone.  He leaned forward and kissed Trenton quickly.  “Well, Shelly is going to be at Taylor’s house for a couple nights for sure and Tally may go with her or she can stay with my dads or Justice.  Let’s get away for a couple days.”

“I have a better idea.  Let’s just stay at my house.”

“I’ll call you later after I talk to Shel.” This time the kiss was long and slow.  “I’ll call you tonight.”  Before Trent could respond Gus was jogging back to the door. 

Gus at his house for more than one night.  Trenton got in his car.  Now he had some groceries to buy before going home.  They would need their energy. As he drove home he thought about what Brian said about being a grandfather and wondered if he would have been happier if he had found a man that was his but then he sighed.  They wouldn’t  have been Gus.

Brian and Justin stopped by Brinn’s on the way back home and ended up with Brennon coming with them.  “I’m going to make you my favorite lunch,” he said.

“And what is that?” Brian asked his grandson.  

“I don’t know.  I will have to see what you have in your fridge and pantry.  We have it pretty lucky.  Mom doesn’t cook but Father George is amazing.  Father George…..sounds like a priest.  I know he’s not my father but since he is Juss’ I just call him that.” Brennon talked nonstop until they were home and in the house.

“Where do you keep your pasta?”  Brennon asked.

“Brennon, don't you know that at our age we can't eat much pasta? Do you want us to  balloon up?”

 “First of all, you both look great! But I was thinking about making a pasta salad.  I see you have lots of fresh vegetables I can chop up and I bet you have some tuna. I will put a light vinaigrette on it.  You’ll love it.  Now leave me alone in the kitchen!” he waved them away.”

“You heard the boy, Sunshine.  Let’s go enjoy the veranda.”

“Sounds good to me.  I’ll set up the table out here,” Justin kissed his grandson on the cheek before walking out the door.

Half an hour later, Brennon walked out with a large bowl of salad and the dishes needed for the three of them. “Dig in,” he said as he dropped into a chair next to Brian and the men started eating.

“This is very good, Brennon.   You’ve become an excellent cook.”  Justin smiled at him.

“Thanks. I like it.  It is relaxing,” Brennon said as he began to eat.  

Justin watched him for a couple of moments, “Ok, spill.”

“Spill what?”  Brennon asked.

“You didn’t come here just to make us lunch,” Justin reached across the small table and squeezed his hand.

“Well, I have some questions and you told me I could  ask them.”

“Sure, you can,” Brian responded.

“Well, there’s this guy….”

“There’s always a guy,” Brian chuckled.  “So have you gotten together?”

“Not...yet….”

“Brian, give the boy a chance to ask us what he wants.” Brian rolled his eyes at Justin but then winked.

“He and I have been talking and we are both interested but neither of us have ever done anything and well, I don’t know if I even know where to start.”

“I suggest the lips. Lips are always good,” Brian commented.  

Now it was Justin’s turn to roll his eyes. “He isn’t wrong but there is more to it. Have you ever seen anything about sex?”

“Gramps, I wasn’t raised in a vacuum but have I seen anyone…. No.”

“Let me talk to your mom…..”

“NO! I don’t want her to know….”

“You do know that your parents were living together about your age.  Well, your dad was older.”

“Never mind, I’ll figure out….”

“Brennon, you trust us, right?” Brian put an arm around him.  “Why don’t you take the four wheeler home and come back for dinner and then you can watch a movie and ask questions.  We don’t have to watch it with you if you don’t want us to.  It just might give you a better idea about what to ask.”

“Ok, now can we talk about something else?” Brennon asked and the conversation went to the new baby.

After Brennon had left for home, Justin called Brinn to fill her in, “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Daddy, what did Bren make for you?”

“He made a good pasta salad for us.  Did he tell you his real reason for coming over?” 

“He didn’t but I know it’s about a boy. I know my kids, just like you always knew us.  Did he tell you who it is?”

“No, but he’s coming to spend the night tonight.”

“Oh, ok. Why?”

“Can’t a grandson want to visit his….”

“Come on, Daddy.”

“He wants to know about sex and since he has never been exposed to gay sex….”

“You aren’t going to do it in front of him….”

“Give us more credit than that.  We thought we’d just let him watch a very tasteful movie and then we will be there if he has any questions.”

“I trust you, Daddy.  I know you love him as much as we do.”  

“You know that’s true. Tell him to come anytime but we will be gone for a while in the later afternoon.  We always go to see Dan and Marcus.”

“How is Uncle Dan? I try to get there once a week but I didn’t get there this week yet.”

“Today isn’t a good day but he will have a better day soon.”

“I will try to get there over the next weekend.”

“Oh, Brinny, I was going to mention, the weekend I get my award, I am going to invite Marcus along. Bri will fly down on Saturday for the actual award but Marc and I will go down on Thursday. He needs a break.”

“I can understand that.  Who will be there?”

“I think Hannah.”

“I will make sure I spend some time there with her.”

“That would be perfect. Now, I just have to convince him to come along.”         

“Assure him I am here to help in any way. It’s Uncle Dan.”

“Thanks, Brinny.  We’ll take care of your boy tonight. You know Zander could come, too.  It wouldn’t hurt him to understand his brother’s questions.”

“I’ll talk to him.  I agree with that.  I mean those two are very close but this is an area they don’t share.  I’ll let you know.”

“You ready to go to Dan and Marcus’ house?” Justin asked as Brian walked up.

“Give me a hug first.  I think I might need it.” They stepped into each other's arms.  Justin pulled him close and brought his lips up to Brian’s.  When they separated Brian looked into his face, “I wasn’t lying when I told Brennon that lips were the first thing. Those lips have brought me through a lot. Oh, by the way, Zander is coming for the night, too.”              

“Well, pizza or tacos for dinner?” Justin asked.

“Do we have what we need for both?”  Brian questioned.

“We do.”

“Then let’s do tacos.  That way I can just make a salad and cut the carbs.”

“Darling, you are 80 years old, almost.  You don’t have any issues with your blood sugar.  Eat what you want.”  Justin laughed as he kissed him once more.  “I love you no matter what you look like and you always look good to me.”

“You know, I have been thinking that way for 60 years.”

“Well enjoy your last 20.”

They drove to Dan and Marcus’ house.  As they rode, Justin said, “I will talk to Marcus about the trip.”

“I’ll mention it to Dan, too, but I think he will want Marcus to go.  He knows the stress it is putting on Marcus and he is feeling guilty about that. You and I need to talk about that trip but now's not the time.” Brian slowed the car, “Looks like Danny is here. Maybe whoever sees him should mention the trip.  In case he knows something we don’t.”

They entered the house without ringing the bell.  “Hey, Justin, Brian, great to see you!” Danny came over and hugged each of them.

“Where’s Marcus?” Brian asked.

“He had to run into town for work.  He should be back in about ten minutes.”

“Well, I’m going to go talk to Dan.  Sunshine can you….”

“I’ve got this.  Go.”

“Well, that sounds like you were hoping to see me,” Danny sat down by the kitchen counter.

“I have to go to LA for this award thing and we were thinking it would be good for Marcus to get away.  It would be 3 days and John will be on hand in case he has to fly back in a hurry.  Is there any reason he shouldn’t be gone?”

“No, I think that is perfect.  He needs a little break.”

“Brian is only flying down on Saturday for the ceremony and we will be home Sunday afternoon.  We would probably leave shortly after lunch on Thursday.  Maybe we will fly too.  But there’s no imminent danger for Dan is there?”

“No, there are no promises with this disease, but I would say he will be around yet for a couple months.  He actually has gotten stronger since you are visiting regularly. Brian always has had an effect on Dad. He….” Danny stopped talking for a minute. He turned and put his arms around Justin, “I can’t believe he’s going to be gone soon.  I think back to the night Marcus brought me home and Dan? Well, Dan wasn’t ‘the father’ type. He was a natural.”  Danny’s voice quivered as he put his head down on Justin’s shoulder.

“He fell in love with you.  You were good for both of them and you are the best son imaginable.”  As Justin kissed his cheek, Marcus came in through the garage. “Hey, Marcus, we came in a little early because we have dinner plans with our grandsons.”

Marcus walked over and kissed both Justin and Danny, “So I almost missed you?”

“We have a few minutes.  I was just talking to Danny about the trip I’m making to LA and you’re coming with me.”

“Me! LA! Oh that would be….I can’t go.  I need to stay here with Dan.”

Danny stood and put an arm around Marcus’ waist.  “You are going.” He kissed Marcus’ cheek and walked toward Dan’s room.

“Justin, I can’t desert…..”

“You aren’t deserting him.  It will be about 3 days.  Brian will be here most of the time and, Marc, you will be much better for Dan after a short break.  I checked with Danny and he said there is no problem with you going and we will have John on standby just in case.”

“Oh, Justin, that sounds really good. Yes, I would love to go.”

“Well, we will leave a week from today and come back on Sunday. I will make plans for dinner on Thursday evening. On Friday there is a cocktail party and the awards are on Saturday.  Brian will be there for that.”

“So it will be just the two of us?”

“It will be for the most part. We can do as little or as much as you want during the day.  I’ve been given the penthouse suite.  It has a private lap pool and jacuzzi.  We don’t have to leave the hotel if we don’t want to.”

Marcus moved toward Justin and kissed him. There was a need to the kiss, not necessarily a sexual need but a need for something.  “Excuse me,” Brian said as he entered the kitchen.  Sorry to interrupt but my husband and I need to get home.” He physically removed Jusin from the stool he sat on and led him out the door.

“Brian, you aren’t upset are you? I mean if you are we may have to talk about this trip.”

Brian took a deep breath. “Old habits. Sunshine, you’re still my husband and I know that you and Marcus, well, we’ve talked about it but that doesn’t make it easy, for me to think about the two of you…”  They got in the car.

“Brian, I understand if you don’t want Marcus and I to….I mean it has always been our rule that we only play when it is all four of us. But I think Marc needs….I’m not saying we should actually fuck but…. You call the shots.  I will follow your direction and I know you.  You need to mull this over a bit.”  Brian parked the car by their house.

“If you don’t need help with dinner, I’m going to go to my office for a while,” Brian said as he started to walk away.

“Bri,” Justin stepped up to him and kissed him.  “You don’t have anything to worry about.  My heart has been right here,” he tapped Brian’s chest, ”for 50 years.  It isn’t going to lose its way.”

Brian met his eyes and smiled, “I know, Sunshine.”

Soon the house was full of life.  Brennon and Zander arrived in a wave of energy.  Brennon started chopping lettuce while Zander set the table.  “Where’s plural?” Brennon asked Justin.

“He’s in the office.  If he’s not out by the time dinner’s ready we can go get him.  He just had a couple things to look at.”

Brian sat in his office. He hadn’t even bothered to turn on his computer.  Was he really going to let his husband, the man he loved more than life itself, be with another man? It was their best friend and they had been together in many situations but he had always been there with him.  He knew he was being ridiculous but it was hard to come to grips with the fact that there would be a day that Marcus and Justin would be together.  And right now, he didn’t doubt Justin’s love and he didn’t doubt Marcus loved Dan.  Marcus needed Justin and it was up to them what they did.

Brian joined Justin and the twins just as the food was finished.  They all laughed and joked around throughout the meal and then Brian and Justin went back to their room while the teenagers watched the video Justin had for them. 

When the video was done, Zander looked at his brother, “Are you sure you want…”

“Zan, you know it isn’t an option of wanting or not wanting.  I love girls but I don’t want to make love to them.  I look at a guy, not all guys, but I look at a guy and I get that feeling.  I know you’ve had that feeling.”

“Ya, but I haven’t fucked anyone.  I have…. Well, I’ve felt her breasts and one time I got like just millimeters away from getting under her underwear.  I just wanted to see what it felt like in there.”

“Well, think of where I will be putting my fingers,” Brennon commented. “But when I see a cute guy who is nice…. All I want is to feel him inside and out.”

“Did you think it would be like the movie?”

“Well, I knew it had to be something like that but you could see they liked it.  Do you think Gramps plural did it like that?”

“I think that is just one of a lot of ways they have done it, from the stories people tell,” Zander laughed a little.  “It's weird to think about your grandpas like that.”

“Well, I think I will go talk to, probably Grandpa Justin.  I just have a couple questions.”

“I’ll go hang with Grandpa Brian so you can be alone.”

They knocked on the door and Justin went across the hall with Brennon while Zander entered the room with Brian.

Brennon dropped on the bed and Justin dropped down next to him,  “So was the movie what you thought it would be?”

“It must be worth it, right?”

“Worth what, Brennon?”  Justin asked as he pulled his grandson close.

“It obviously hurts and I am just guessing that you….well….”

“I’m the bottom?” Justin smiled, “Most of the time but your grandpa takes his turn. And yes there is discomfort but over time even though there is a little pain, well for me anyway, it just gets me that much more excited.”  He saw Brennon cringe a little bit. “I’m sorry, you don’t want to think about your old grandpas doing anything like that.”

“Grandpa, the first time….was it really bad?  I mean was the guy careful?  I don’t know if I am a top or a bottom or….”

“Brennon, it was your grandpa and he was amazing.  Yes, there was pain but, oh god, just looking in his face….he was great.  I fell in love with him that night.  If I’m honest, I think he fell in love with me, too but he didn’t know it yet.” He hugged Brennon, “You know you don’t have to do much of anything if you don’t want to.  Spend time together touching and kissing.  You’ll know if it is right.  Get comfortable with each other and it will just come to you.”

Brennon rolled over and gave Justin a quick kiss on the lips.  “Thanks, Gramps.  Can I come talk if…”

“You can come talk to either of us anytime.”

Zander sat on the edge of the king sized bed. He was fidgeting. Brian patted the bed next to him and Zander laid down and then surprisingly snuggled against Brian.  “Grandpa, can I ask a question?”

“Of course you can.  We have very few secrets in this family.”

“I watched the video and it didn’t gross me out or anything but ….. I know there is some pain but is it dangerous? I mean, I always thought of that as an...well and exit, not an entrance.  Can it be dangerous? I just don’t want anything to happen to Brennon.”

“Well, first of all, if you are having sex, I hope you are using condoms because that is the most danger for both of you.”

“I haven’t and I know he hasn’t.”

“As for getting hurt, your grandpa and I have had sex for 50 years and once we had an incident.  It was just an accident but I did injure him or the act of our sex had injured him.  It was so long ago, I can’t even remember exactly what happened but I felt terrible.  Justin had to be in bed for a couple days and he didn’t blame me but I did but that was over 40 years ago and we have never had anything else like that.  Brennon is a smart young man and he always has us to talk to.  We didn’t have that.  And if you ever think he should talk to us, let us know.  We know you will all learn from your mistakes but if it is something serious, we want to help.”

“Thanks, Grandpa.  I’m glad Brennon has you to talk to.”   Zander smiled at him, “Can I go raid your refrigerator?”

“If it’s there, you can have it. Zan?”

“Ya?”

“We love you, both.  You know that, right?”

“Grandpa, my friends sometimes think our family is a little screwed up but they all wish they could be part of it because we don’t have lies and it is always obvious we all love each other.”

Zander was just coming out of the master as Brennon came out of the room across the hall, followed by Justin.  “I was just going to raid the fridge. You hungry?”

“Always, Bro,” Brennon said, putting his arm around Zander’s shoulder.  The two moved toward the kitchen.

“So did you have an interesting conversation?” Brian asked Justin.

“Just what you would expect.  He is nervous. He doesn’t realize, unless he finds an older guy, they will both be nervous. Not everyone has a teacher like I did.” Justin kissed Brian, pressing his whole body against him. When they separated he said, “Let’s go see if the boys found anything good to eat.”

Gus called Trenton late that night.  Shelby had just gone to bed and Gus stepped out on the deck to talk to him.  “Hey Pen,” Gus said softly.  “I’ll be there tomorrow night and I will probably stay for three nights unless that’s too long.

Trent wanted to say it was never long enough but managed to stop himself.  “I’ll be here. You don’t want me to set up the spare room, do you?” he laughed as he said it.

“Smart ass,” Gus said, “Is there anything I can bring along?”

“A couple bottles of that wine I like the best would be great.”

“I already made sure I had some in the house. I….it’s been too long since we had time together, like more than a quick night together.”

“Gus, I…. I think we should be able to sleep on the porch.  Should be about perfect. Gus, I” he almost said he loved him.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, Pen,  I’ll be there mid afternoon.”

Taylor got to go home in the morning and after he made sure his daughter and grandson were settled in with her husband and Shelby, he went home and grabbed the wine that was alcohol free and his overnight bag and left.  He didn’t plan to need much clothes because he didn’t plan to wear it that much. He figured they would be in their robes most of the time so he made sure he had his packed.  He hadn’t felt like this for quite a while.  He was going to spend three nights with the man he loved.  And yes, he did love Trenton. And his dad was right.  He needed to say it. He had said it in the throws of passion a couple times but he was going to make sure, before he left, that Trenton knew he was loved, more than Gus could even really comprehend.

Gus had to put the cruise control on because he kept going too fast.  When he turned into Trent’s driveway, he actually stopped and looked in the mirror, running his hands through the curls.  He really did need a haircut. He drove the rest of the way to the house and as he got out the front door opened and Trenton stood there. Gus took a deep breath and opened the back door to grab his bag and the bag with the wine and then he turned and walked to the front door and into Pen’s arms. He set both bags down so he could wrap his arms around Trenton and as their lips met Gus was already pulling at Trent’s shirt. And then they were both naked and together they explored each other’s bodies.  They had been together about 20 years but it was still always like the first time. They often had to wait a couple weeks to see each other just making their time together that much more special. 

After making love they lay on the large sofa together and stroked each other’s skin.  A finger along an arm or a palm brushing a hip they were both soon ready again and this time switching positions, Gus entered him.  “Oh, god, Gus, I have missed you so much.” After a short rest they put on their robes and as Trenton put dinner together, Gus brought his bag to the master bedroom.  He had remodeled the house for Trenton a few years ago adding a master suite to the main floor but keeping the character of the mission style house still as charming as it had always been. Gus had moved the swinging bed so it was located just outside of the bedroom now and it had a perfect view of the valley below.  Gus saw that Trenton had brought extra pillows and blankets out there so they could sleep out there more comfortably. He had even put a TV and sound system out there so it was literally additional living space.  They ate dinner out on the porch and then went to bed.  After spending the evening naked, in each other's arms they fell asleep with a light breeze rustling Gus’ curls.

The next day they spent in and out of bed.  They did dress at one point and rode motorcycles for a couple hours before returning for another round of love making.  After dinner a rain shower came up along with a stiff breeze so the two sat on the sofa talking and listening to soft music.  “Pen, do you regret this?”

“Regret what, Gus?”

“Do you regret our relationship when I couldn’t…..I wasn’t free?”

“No, Gus.  I don’t regret falling in love with you.  You were always honest with me and early on, I was in no state of mind to make a commitment to anyone.  By the time I fell in love with  you, by the time I realized it, I couldn’t be without you anymore than I could stop breathing. He rotated his body so he looked directly into Gus’ brown eyes.  He put a hand on Gus’ chest and said I will love you until the day I die.”

Gus placed his hand over Trenton and looking deeply into his eyes he said, “Pen, I couldn’t want more in my life.  I don’t know what I would do if I had more.  I have a wife who loves me even with all my faults.  I have three great kids and now, oh, now I have a perfect grandson.” Trenton sighed.  He had heard Gus say similar things many times but Gus wasn’t through. “Trenton, you are part of that perfect life and I know I haven’t said it often enough but I love you, Pen, and without you, I would have an empty spot in my life and I don’t think I could have ever found someone else that would put up with me.” Now Gus put a hand on either side of Trenton’s face, “I love you,” he moved his mouth to Trenton’s and the electricity that passed between them was almost more than either of them could absorb.  That night they lay in Trenton’s bed with their bodies tightly against each other, arms and legs entwined. 

Their time together went quickly.  Gus had talked to Shelby every day but he had to go back to the real world and work.  Shelby was going to spend one more night with Taylor but Ian’s mother was going to spend some time with them and he had an early meeting the next morning so he packed his bag and as they said goodbye on the front step.

“Gus, I’ll see you soon.  I love you,” Trent said as he ran his fingers through Gus’ hair.

“Trenton, I love you, too.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Gus kissed him once more and then jogged to the truck.

The next week moved quickly.  Justin and Marcus would be leaving the next day for LA and as Brian and Justin lay together in bed, after making love. Brian turned to Justin, “Sunshine, I know you love me.  I trust you.  You and Marcus, do what is right.  You will know what he needs.  You always know what people need.  I just don’t need to know about it.”

“You’re right you know.  I love him but that is a whole different level.”

“I know, Sunshine, and I trust you.  Just make sure you touch base with me a couple times a day.”

“Of course, I will.  I’ll miss you.  Maybe you should see about sleeping at Dan’s. I know he doesn’t always want someone sleeping with him but if he does….”

“I plan to do that.  I know Hannah will be there but he might like a guy around. I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my daughter have to help with my junk.”

“Brian, maybe Dan, if he is up to it, might like to play a little, too.  I am sure with Marcus, he feels inadequate but he …..”

“We’ll play it by ear, Sunshine.”

They had decided to fly down to LA so, after picking up Marcus, Brian drove them to the airport.  John was waiting at the airport along with Tony.  Now that he was retired they were enjoying the little jaunts here and there.  They would fly back to pick up Brian on Saturday morning but they would stay in LA until then just in case Dan took a turn for the worse and Marcus had to rush back.  Marcus followed John and Tony onto the plane leaving Justin with Brian to say goodbye.

“Brian, I’ll text when we land.”

“Ok, call me tonight, Ok, Sunshine?  I miss you already.  It’s been a very long time since we have slept apart.”

“It has.  I love you, Brian Kinney. I will call tonight.”

“I love you, too, Sunshine.” They kissed once more and as John started the plane engines, Justin went up the steps and Brian walked to the car.  He stayed and watched the plane take off.  They wouldn’t be sleeping together but he couldn’t stop the nagging thought that he knew Justin wouldn’t be sleeping alone.