Chapter 3

“Justin quit bullshitting.  Did you slip me something last night that had me sleeping so soundly that I didn’t feel you bite me?”

“Brian, are you serious? Have you totally forgotten about the video you watched last night?” 

Brian looked at Justin’s stricken face and he grabbed the glass wall of the shower.  “Christ, Justin, you brought it with you!” Just as Brian finished the comment one of the towels that was always waiting for them near the shower, flew across the room.

“I don’t think he liked being called an it.” Justin turned toward the bathroom. “Hey, Jimmy. I have to go to class.  I can’t fail.  I’m an artist.  Why don’t you come with me? You’ll enjoy it.” As Justin stepped out of the shower the room had a definite chill to it but then Justin didn’t actually hear anything but he just knew he was going to have a guest at class.  

Brian came into the bedroom as Justin zipped up his pants.  “I’m sorry.  I am just having issues dealing with this.  Until I saw the video last night I would have sworn none of this could be true and, well frankly, it is going to take me a little bit to …. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Justin walked over and kissed him.  “He’s coming with me for the day. I’ll, no we’ll be back mid afternoon and I will try to get in touch with Adam or Amy and see if they have any suggestions for us.”

“I’m supposed to meet my father for the exchange after work.  I will try to get off early and meet him at 6:00 instead of 7:00.  I’ll text you.” Brian put his arms around Justin but didn’t say anything else.

Justin stepped out of his arms after patting his face gently, “I have to go.  Come on, Jimmy.  Lots of cute men and women in these classes.”

Brian felt the air around him change and he knew he was alone. Damn, could this get any crazier? How the hell do you get rid of a ghost….or do you keep him for frequent threesomes. The man/ ghost had skills.  As Brian sat at his desk he found himself looking up James Dean on the internet.  He knew a few details but soon he was caught up in the life of Jimmy.

Justin had talked to Jimmy in his head all the way to school.  He asked him to stay close and not to interact with someone else.  As Justin began to sketch the live model he could almost feel Jimmy getting more distant.  Soon he saw the young woman modeling having a hard time staying still.  Justin was sure he saw her hair flutter and then she shivered.  In his head he yelled, ‘Jimmy, get over here. You are going to get me in trouble!’ Almost immediately, the air around him cooled and he felt the now familiar hand on the nape of his neck.

Once the class was over, Justin found a free bench in a commons area where students gathered between classes to meet up with friends or study.  Justin commented in his head,  ‘Don’t take this personally, but we need to figure out what to do with you.  We aren’t kicking you out, we just, well, we’ve never had a house ghost before’.  Justin called Daphne and told her what was going on and asked her to see if she could get a phone number for someone at Kindred Spirits.  About 15 minutes later, just before he had to go to his next class, his phone rang.  

“Hello?”

“Hey, Justin, it’s Adam. I hear you have a problem?”

“You could say that since Jimmy is with me at college right now.  I need to figure out what to do but right now I have to get to class.  Can we talk later? I’ll be free in an hour.”

“I’ll talk to you then and I will try to get a hold of Chip.  He would be able to help you the most.” With that, Justin rushed to his second class.  This class was art history but Justin was a bit distracted because now he couldn’t even feel Jimmy near him.  When class was over, Justin yelled for him in his head. He spent extra time getting his stuff packed up hoping he would feel him.  If he left him could he find his way home?  Just as he knew he had to leave, he shivered.  It felt like an ice cube had been placed on his neck.  ‘Hey, Jimmy. Just in time’.

When Justin got into the loft he texted Adam to let him know he was free now.  ‘So, Jimmy, where were you during art history?’  Justin was sure he heard snoring. ‘Ok, so it was a little boring but you got a chance to see a naked woman and if I’m not mistaken you even touched her.’ He knew you couldn’t hear a smile but he was sure he heard a smile and chuckle.

Justin’s phone sounded and he looked at it.  It said; unknown number, he answered it, “Hello?”  

“Justin, Chip here.  I hear you have a guest.”

“Am I glad to hear from you.  Jimmy has been with me all day.”

“Justin, ask him to give you some privacy.  Insist on it and I think he will do what you ask.  Remind him he is in your home.”

“Ok,” he took a deep breath.  “Jimmy, I told you are welcome here right now but I do need some privacy.  Please go into the bedroom so I can have a discussion.”

‘Ok, Sunshine,’ Justin heard in his head.

Shit, he wasn’t sure he liked him calling him that.  It made him shiver but the chill in the air was gone.  “Ok, Chip.  Thanks so much for calling me. We really don’t know what to do.  Since he showed up, does that mean he is going to stay?”

“That would be unusual.  I think he was worried about you.  Does he seem to like your boyfriend? Brian is it?”

“Well, he wasn’t sure but it is obvious he likes him.”

“Obvious?”

“Let’s just say he initiated him the same way he did me, including the bitemark.”

“Oh, this might be more difficult than I thought.  Do you feel threatened at all?

“No, Chip, not at all.  It is just awkward right now.”

“I left the country right after being with you.  I will be back in two weeks.  If you feel comfortable waiting that long, I will make you my first point of business when I get back in town.”

“Justin, make rules for him.  I think he just felt so attached to you and I really think he is going to want to go back to his apartment eventually.  He is just enjoying having someone close to his age that is treating him with respect, someone who respects him.  If you need anything before that, call Adam.  I will give him a heads up.”

“So, if I ask him you think he will accept my limits?”

“Justin, I think James will do anything for you. He thinks of you as a friend and he is loyal to all his friends.”

“Thanks, Chip.  I’ll be in touch with Adam if we need anything.”

“Well, Jimmy, looks like you are going to be spending some time with us. After Brian gets home we will need some privacy so we can discuss some limits while you visit. Do you understand? We aren’t going to throw you out, I promise.”

Justin was sure he could feel his arms around him.  

“I wish I knew how to communicate with you.” Justin had a sketchbook at his side and he saw the pencil move just a little bit.  “You want me to help you write?  I have heard of automatic writing.” With that he picked up the pad and pencil and flipped it to a clean page. Justin held the pencil to the pad and tried to relax.

‘Hello, love. Thank you for wanting to get to know me.’

Justin looked down to see if it said what he thought it did. “Of course I want to get to know you.”  He felt a little silly talking out loud to himself. “What would you like me to know?”

‘He’s beautiful, isn’t he, and very sad.’

“Oh, yes.  It makes my heart hurt sometimes. Sad and angry. He did nothing to deserve the life he had.  Just like you didn’t”

‘He loves you.’

“I don’t know if he will ever say it, but I love him and sometimes I think he loves me.”  Justin looked and saw the page was full so he turned it.  

‘You are good’ was written. ‘You didn’t hurt him.’

“I am sure I have but I try not to. You freaked him out last night.”

‘Been too long with willing men.’  

“Jimmy, I really want to get a little homework done before Brian gets home.  Can we talk later?”  Justin felt coolness stroke his cheek and then drift away. “I bet you were an amazing lover.”

Justin walked to the desk with his backpack and started the computer to do some research.  He typed in the first artist he needed to research but soon he was sound asleep with his head on the desk.

Brian had called his father and changed the meeting time to 6:00. He had stopped by the ATM and pulled as much as he could out of it.  His dad had asked for $200.  He had gotten $500.  He walked into Jack’s favorite bar and scanned the room.  He knew he might beat him.  He ordered two whiskeys and sat at the bar. His mind wandered off as he waited. He thought about the ghost that was in their place.  He had been with a ghost.  His Sunshine had been with a ghost. His Sunshine? He had no right over that beautiful boy.  He had tried to get rid of him but now, he wasn’t sure if he could live without him.  He had no right to make claims on him.  He could never make a commitment to him.

“Sonny boy!  Where the hell was your mind at? You were always a dreamer, a big dreamer.  And look where it got you.  You live in that fancy apartment with your fancy job and you wear fancy suits.”

“Dad, I only have a minute.  I bought you a drink.  I need to go.  I have a...well sort of a meeting to go to.” He laid the envelope on the bar and pushed it toward him.

“You don’t have time for your dad, huh? I know, I know….busy, busy, busy.” He picked up the envelope and stuffed it in his shirt pocket.  “You know I keep track of every….”

“Ya, right, Jack.  I’m out of here.”  He downed the last swallow of whiskey, threw a bill on the bar, and walked out without turning back.  Once Brian was in his car he yelled, “FUCK! Why do I let him get under my skin?”

Justin woke up from a deep sleep.  Had he really talked to Jimmy? Why had he fallen asleep?  He looked at the clock.  “Shit!” he had no idea he had slept that long.  He never took naps like that.  Maybe Jimmy was draining him a bit. 

He moved into the kitchen.  He had planned to make dinner for the two, or was it three, of them. He pulled out his phone to see if Brian had texted.  Just as he did, it pinged. ‘On my way.   Should I get food?’

“I’m cooking.’  Justin responded.

‘K’ was the response back.

Justin knew he wouldn’t be in a good mood. He would be either angry or sullen tonight. Depending on traffic, Brian should be home  Justin hated when he felt like this.  He started rice in 20 to 30 minutes.  Once he had the rice going, he chopped up some chicken breasts from the fridge and then grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer. While the chicken browned he started talking to James.  “I just want to let you know, Brian will not be in a good mood when he gets home.  His father always makes him sad and when he is sad he sometimes gets mean. He would never physically hurt me but sometimes he strikes out because he knows I love him.”

In his mind he heard, ‘hurt him’.

“I don’t think you would hurt him but I get a little nervous when you say things like that.”

Justin watched as the bag of rice was lifted and spilled out on the counter in a long line and in the rice letters appeared, ‘he’s been hurt.  I was hurt.’

“Oh, it was your parent, too, wasn’t it?”

The rice smoothed out and then letters again appeared. ‘Loved Mom.’ Justin felt a coolness around him. 

“And your father?” Justin asked softly.

‘Abandoned,’ appeared. 

“I’m sorry, James.  My father is an ass, but he was a pretty good dad until he found out I was gay and he wasn’t happy when I chose a career in art. But my mom…. She is the best.  I hit gold with her.  If she stops by, and she probably will, please don’t frighten her.”

‘Never!’ the word appeared. 

Justin was sure he heard the lift.  He had added the vegetables and turned to grab some condiments out of the fridge to make a sauce but ran right into what felt like an ice wall, but just that quickly it was gone.  The door opened just as he started adding some soy sauce and hoisin sauce.  He added a shot of lemon juice and stirred it quickly before walking over to Brian.  He had gone straight to the steps and into the bedroom.  Justin walked up behind him and helped him off with his suit jacket and hung it up and then walked over to Brian again, and this time he started unbuttoning his white button down.  Once he had opened them all, he slipped his hands on the high quality cotton.  Justin dropped a kiss on his chest.  “Why don’t you change? Dinner is ready.”

“I need to shower the stink off me.” Brian always felt dirty after being with his dad. “I’ll be quick.”  He leaned down and kissed Justin. I just want a quiet night, please.”

“Of course, Brian.  I’ll go make stir fried rice.”

Brian stripped and stepped in the bathroom.  He was really out of it.  He hadn’t even noticed Justin turn on the shower on his way out.  He let his briefs fall to the floor just outside the shower door and stepped in, raising his face to the spray. Moments later his eyes flew open. He looked all around himself.  He knew he had felt a hand slide down his back and rest on the very lowest spot of his spine.  Although he felt a coolness, a calm moved over him. He quickly rinsed off and turned off the water.  He dried off and slipped into sweats and pulled on a T-shirt.  He took a deep breath and, feeling comfort around him, he walked down to the kitchen.

“Smells pretty good.” Brian said as he wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist and nuzzled his neck.  He then saw the rice all over the counter. “Get a little crazy with the rice?”

“Not me. Jimmy.  Found out he can write.”  As they watched the word ‘hi’ appeared.

“Justin, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.  Can we eat? Alone maybe?”

“Jimmy, please give us a little privacy.” With that they felt a gentle breeze move past and the air was peaceful and warm.  Justin kissed Brian, “Dinner for two is served, very informally.” Justin put all the rice in a small serving bowl and topped it with chicken and vegetables.  

Brian handed a pair of chopsticks to Justin and Justin grabbed the bowl.  They instinctively both went to the coffee table and sat next to each other on the floor.  There was little conversation but there were caresses and shared bites and when they were both full Brian laid his head in Justin’s lap and Justin stroked his cheek and hair.

“Was he horrible?”

“No, not really.  He was just  … Jack.  I don’t know why I keep thinking he will change.”

“I know, Brian.  We just always hope.  I hope my dad will understand, too, and Jimmy had the same problem.

Brian slowly unzipped Justin’s pants and after finding what he was looking for, Justin closed his eyes and tilted his head back and slid down just a bit so Brian had better access. As Brian brought him near climax, Justin felt a coolness come around him. He felt his head pressed backward as an unseen tongue worked its way between his lips. Justin exploded into Brian’s mouth who continued so suck gently.  As he did that, Jimmy continued to tantalize Justin’s mouth until his whole body could do nothing but tremble. 

Brian stopped and began to sit up but as he did he felt the temperature drop. He began to kiss Justin and then he felt James’ lips on his. Brian jumped back.  “Sunshine, this is just too weird.”

“Why? You are willing to share me with just about anyone else.” Justin pulled Brian close.  “I’m sorry.  This is all insane for me. Jimmy, it’s alright.  It freaks us out a bit but that’s not your fault.”

“Did he leave?”

“I hope not.  He’s going to be our house guest for a couple weeks.”

“A couple weeks? I thought you were going to call that tea guy.”

“Coffey.  Chip is out of town.  He’s actually out of the country but he will be here as soon as he is back from his trip.”

Brian looked around.  “Fuck, I wish I could see him. Is he here? We need to talk, you and me and then maybe him.” Brian took a breath and calmed down a little. “I supposed I pissed him off.”

“Scared him off is more like it.” Justin stood up and straightened his pants.  “Jimmy, he’s not mad.  Can you just give us a little privacy? I promise we will talk to you soon.”

“How do you know he really left? I can sort of feel it but I trust him.  He doesn’t want to cause trouble.”

Justin curled up against Brian and Brian wrapped his arms around him, needing him close tonight.  “Justin, what else did he say today.  Why is he here?”

“He likes me,” Justin looked up at him and smiled that childish smile he used from time to time.

Brian had to smile back and kissed the tip of his nose. “You really do make me feel better.” This time the kiss landed on Juitin’s lips and very quickly it deepened.  

Eventually Justin pulled away a bit.  “Don't forget where we were but we need to talk.  Jimmy originally thought you had hurt me but then he thought I had hurt you and finally just realized you had been hurt.”

“I was not hurt, I….”

“You can bull shit other people Brian Kinney but I know better and there is no shame that as a child your parents hurt you.”  Justin knew that he couldn’t push that, not tonight.  There had been a couple times where Brian let all of his feelings show but that wasn’t going to happen tonight.  “James was hurt, too.  His mother died when he was young.”

“Ya, I have done a little reading up on him the last couple days.  His dad was no better than Jack.  He was shipped off to relatives and later his dad was a lot like yours.”

“How do you figure that?” 

“Well when he was mostly grown and he spent more time with his dad again his dad gave him an ultimatum.  It was his way or no way.  That sounds like Craig if I ever heard it.”

“Ya, I guess it does.”  Now it was time for Justin to be quiet. “Well, right now we need to talk about the next two weeks. Chip said we just need to set boundaries.  He said Jimmy might just go home on his own but he has attached himself to us both because he relates.  He knows we understand him.  Well, as well as we can understand anyone.  What rules are we going to give him?”

“Is there a way he can let us know he’s around? I just don’t like the surprise.”

“I am sure we can come up with a way for that to happen.  He can’t come to school with me every day.  Today he moved in on the model.” 

“Can we tell him he has to stay here?” Brian asked sincerely.

“I don’ t know if we can make him stay here but we can tell him not to follow us. Bri, we just have to show him love while he is here but he will eventually want to go home.  He’s only a little older than me and a little younger than you.  He just wants to be ‘one of the guys’.

“Jimmy, I don’t know if you are here but I’m afraid you can’t be a normal guy.  YOU ARE A GHOST! But if you give us our space and let us know when you’re around, you can stay for now. But Jimmy, Sunshine is mine. You can join us once in a while but don’t surprise us and we do need some alone time, too.”

“So how is he going to tell us he’s around?” Justin looked at Brian and ended up kissing him instead of getting an answer.  When they separated Brian got up and took Justin’s hand, leading him toward the bedroom.  “Damn, Brian, you know I want to join you in bed but….”

“Just get in bed,” he said as he started digging through a drawer.  

Then Justin heard it.  It sounded like jingle bells. Brian turned around and held up a Christmas g string. Justin started laughing, “I want to see you in that!”

“That ain’t ever happening but I thought James might be able to make this…. As Brian stood there completely still, the g string in his hand began to jingle.  “So, James, if you are around, just bump this every so often.” 

As the bell swang in Brian’s hand, Brian jumped. “Now stop that!”

Justin had seen Brian’s crotch indent a bit and smiled, “Hey, Jimmy, careful.  You have seen that package and we don’t want it damaged.” 

Brian hung the bells on a hook and started stripping. Justin started stripping as fast as he could. Brian dove into bed and pinned Justin down as he ran a hand down his side making him squirm and almost giggle.  As Justin managed to flip him and pin Brian down on the bed they both heard the bell jingle just a bit.  Justin looked down at Brian and raised his eyebrows.

“Oh hell. James, you’re welcome to join us.”

A cool breeze moved over both of them as they were enveloped in a feeling they couldn’t explain.  As they continued to play and very soon the play turned sexual and both of them at times felt a stroke or a caress that couldn’t be contributed to the other.  As Brian entered Justin, his eyes flew open. He had the sensation of something entering him at the same time.  His strokes were strong and as he bent to kiss Justin he was enveloped by a feeling he couldn’t explain. Emotions welled up in him and he arched and cried out but as he came all he wanted to do was feel Justin’s touch, his kiss, his embrace. 

“Oh, Sunshine, I….” Brian felt James move and he laid between Justin’s legs with his head on his stomach.  In his head, Brian heard ‘You love him’ echoed in his head.  Justin pulled Brian up a little and wrapped his arm tightly around him. 

“I love you, Brian.” He kissed the top of his head.  Brian moved up and rolled off Justin taking him with him.  As Justin relaxed against Brian’s chest, Brian kissed the top of his head.  As Justin got comfortable Brian’s embraced tightened.  He opened his mouth and closed it again. He just couldn’t get the words out but in the back of his head he heard James’ voice again.  ‘You love him’. Brian looked at the blonde head.  Did he love him? What was love?

The next two weeks were interesting.  Justin had several ‘conversations’ with James.  Brian quit talking to him at all because he pushed the L word every time he had a chance.  Justin heard from Chip and he would be there on the weekend.  Two days  before Chip’s visit, Justin spent the afternoon with James.  They had found the best way to talk was using the computer.  Justin would open a blank word document and James would answer through the computer.  

“James, do you miss New York?”

‘I miss my things’.

“It is a great apartment.”

‘Will you visit me?’

“I can. You have become a good friend.”

‘He doesn’t like me’.

“I am guessing you have had some conversations with him.”

‘Yes’.

“What upset him?”

‘He loves you’.

“I know.  I wish he could say it but deep down I know.”

‘I told him not to lose you’.

“Thanks, Jimmy.  I don’t think I could live without him.”

‘You could. You are strong. Stronger than you think.’

“Do you think I should leave him?” Justin asked.

‘Leave for me?’

“Oh, Jimmy, you would be a real temptation if…”

‘If I was alive? I loved living and hated it.  It hurt too much too often. Brian hurts too much too often’.

“What can I do to help him?” Justin watched the curser blink for several moments.  Finally he saw letters appear.

‘Tired’. There was a pause ‘Just hold his heart close’.  

“I will, Jimmy. I better check what Brian wants for dinner.  He can pick something up.” Justin was fairly sure he was talking to himself.  When James got tired they didn’t see him for a while.  Justin Thought about Jimmy’s message, ‘Hold his heart’.  If he only knew what an amazing heart he had.  Justin called him, not sure if he would get him or not.

“Hey, he hasn’t just disappeared has he?”

“Brian, you will survive for two more days. What are you thinking for dinner?”

“Are you in the mood for Chinese? It’s been a while and...I’m sorry, I’m just tired of feeling like someone is watching us all the time. And he won’t shut up.  He is in my head all the time.”

“I’ll ask him to stay away tonight.  We had a long talk so he is tired.”

“So Chinese?”

“Sounds good.  Will you be home soon?”

“I should leave here in about half an hour.”

“Ok, Brian?”

“Ya?”

“I missed you today.”

Justin thought he could hear Brian smile.  “I missed you, too, Sunshine.”

Although they were eating out of cardboard boxes on the floor he just wanted tonight to be special.  He lit candles and brought saki to the table.  Then he said softly, “Jimmy, tomorrow night is your night but tonight needs to be just the two of us.   I hope you understand.”  Justin heard the bells jingle softly.  “Thank you. I will miss you, Jimmy.”

Justin put on a shirt he knew Brian liked him to wear.  As he put on just a hint of cologne he heard Jimmy’s words, ‘hold his heart’.  He loved him so much.  He just wished he could hear it. His thoughts were pulled back to the present when he heard the elevator.  When Brian walked in Justin walked up to him and took the food from him. After setting it down on the counter, he turned and then rushed back into Brian’s arms. Brian looked a little confused but pulled him into a welcome embrace.  After a long kiss Brian asked, “Are we alone?”

“Yes, we will be alone tonight but honestly, won’t you miss him?” Justin commented as Brian feasted on his neck,  “Damn you make it hard to think but I think I was hungry.”

Brian’s hand skimmed his ass and stepped back a bit.  “Ya, I could eat.  I’m planning on you to provide my dessert.” He rubbed his hand over Justin’s crotch as he stepped away.  They sat with boxes and talked about the day.  Justin let him know that James was a bit sad to leave.

“Why wouldn’t he be.  He has had more sex in the last two weeks than he had in the last 45 years.”

“Brian, that’s not what is most important.  This is the first time he has had someone that treated him, well, like a friend and not an enigma.  Most people are freaked out by him.”

“He is leaving though, right?” Justin shoved an egg roll into Brian’s mouth to stop him from talking.

Brian sucked in the whole egg roll but then turned his head and took it out of his mouth. “I  don’t mind deep throating certain things but I don’t need all these carbs this time of night. Now if it was protein.” Using chopsticks, Justin put a piece of chicken in his mouth.  Once he had chewed and swallowed it he kissed Justin.  “That was good but it wasn’t what I was thinking.” Brian leaned over and kissed him once more.  “But we have all night for the rest. I had thought about going to Babylon tonight but since I know we have the place alone I’d rather stay home. We better eat so we have enough energy.”

As they continued to eat and feed each other Justin paused and said, “One more thing about James and then I promise I won’t mention him again.”  Brian rolled his eyes as he used chopsticks to get another bite.  “I would love to know what he said to you to make you upset but I don’t need to know.  Just take time to talk to him tomorrow.  It’s his last night here and I have night class.”

“Justin, I don’t stand around talking to the air.  Ok I know he is here.  I’ve had to admit that to myself but that doesn’t mean that…’

“If you are working on your computer, he will type with you.”

“Sunshine, I have let him stay here for two weeks.  Hell, he has been in bed with us more than once.  I just don’t…”

Justin began to unzip Brian’s zipper and then slipped his hand into his fly.  “Please, Brian.” He moved close and kissed him and ended up pushing him onto the rug and then stood and began to dance as he stripped.  Brian yanked his own shirt off and then his trousers. Justin stood above his prone body and swayed giving Brian the prime view of his cock and ass.  Brian tried pulling him down but he insisted on standing.  “You haven’t promised you will be nice to JD tomorrow.  Talk to him.”  Justin kneeled bringing his dick inches away from Brian’s mouth but as Brian tried to sit up, Justin moved backward. “Well!”

“Do I really have a choice?” With that Brian lunged at him and soon they rolled across the rug as they kissed and nipped at each other and then Brian grabbed a condom and sank into Justin. Brian started out slowly.  Soon Justin was pleading for him to speed up and by the time Brian did, Justin let go. He reached up and pulled Brian close.  As their lips met, Brian exploded with one last thrust. Justin held on to him tightly.  He didn’t want him to move.  He wanted Brian to stay with him and when Brian finally moved off the top of him he took Justin with him.  Justin snuggled against him.  Brian grabbed for a blanket that was hanging off a chair in arm’s reach and pulled it over them both.

“Brian, I….” 

Brian kissed him. “Sometimes, silence is golden.”  He rolled so he was partially on top of Justin.  “What do you say we shower and, well….” Brian’s hand began to move between Justin’s ass cheeks.

“A shower is just a waste of time. I plan to get hot and sweaty several times tonight.”

“Well, then let's move this to that big, comfy bed….”  Brian didn’t have to say another word.  Justin was up and pulling Brian with him and by the time Brian walked into the bedroom, Justin was already on all fours on the bed. Brian threw his head back and laughed. “Damn, gotta love your enthusiasm.” 

“If you love my enthusiasm you must love me!” the last word came out in more of a cry of surprise as Brian entered him again.

The next morning they stood under the well deserved shower.  As Brian soaped Justin’s back he said, “I think you should skip class tonight.  We could go out and dance all night and then…”

“Brian, I am not going to skip this special class tonight.  If I did I would have to write a 10 page paper.” He turned around into Brian’s arms, “And, you and James need some finality.”

“Damn.” Brian said softly.

“If I didn’t know better I would say something about that ghost has you rattled.  Want to tell me why?”

“Wash my back.  I have to get to work.”

Justin had to smile.  It was kind of fun to see the outwardly confident Brian a bit worried about spending the evening with James. He kissed Brian and then stepped under the spray for another few minutes as Brian got out to get ready. By the time Justin got into the bedroom Brian was tying his tie.  He walked over and straightened it just a bit.  “Have a good day.” He kissed Brian and then brought his mouth to Justin’s ear.  “Just talk to him tonight.  You might learn something if you are willing to listen. I wish you had time for me to take that lovely suit off you.”

Brian growled deep in his throat, “You, young man, come straight home after class and if you are late I may have spank you.”  He pulled the towel off that Justin had wrapped around him and swatted his bare ass but then ran his long fingers over his smooth skin.  “Come home and I will make it worth your while.” They kissed once more and then Brian grabbed a mug of coffee as he walked out the door.  

As the door closed, Justin heard the bells go crazy.  “I wondered if you were here.  Let me get ready and then we can talk.  I don’t have to leave until after lunch.” Justin felt the coolness envelope him. Justin just stood there for a moment.  Whatever Jimmy was doing had every nerve ending on his body heightened. He dropped onto the bed and let James have his way with him.

Brian forced himself to return home.  He did not really want to be there. It was a little unnerving having a spirit in the house.  He hated not knowing where he was.  Maybe he would take Justin’s advice and start the computer and just get it over with.  He knew James was trying to tell him something.  He just wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it but would he regret it if he didn’t hear him out.  

Brian grabbed a bottle of Jack and a glass on his way to the computer and started it up.  He opened a document and poured a glass of whiskey.  He downed the first one and poured a second.  He decided to drink his dinner tonight.  He had let Justin know he should grab something on the way home for both of them. “Well, you have wanted to tell me something for two weeks.  I am giving you the floor. Well, I’m giving you a voice.”  He took a hard sip of the amber liquid.

‘I want a taste’.

“Help yourself.”

‘Funny guy. Most men have humor or beauty, not both.’

“You think I’m beautiful?”

‘You know you are’. JD responded directly and Brian emptied his second glass and refilled it. ‘Self doubt’.

“You are way off there. I make major decisions all day long.”

“Not in business, personal life’. Brian didn’t respond.  ‘No comment?’

“You don’t know me!” Brian said nastily.  He got up and moved away from the computer. He went to the bathroom and changed into sweats.  He decided he would run a couple miles on the treadmill.  Brian started jogging but as he turned the speed up it shut off. “What the ….”  Brian turned it back on and ran for a few minutes.  He kept looking around.  He wasn’t sure what he was looking for but he knew he was being watched from somewhere. He picked the pace up, pushing himself.  

The bells rang.  Brian ignored them.  Then the mail was pushed off the counter.  “You don’t like to be ignored.  The battle was on.  Next Brian got hit by a pillow. “That’s all you got?” Brian kept running.  He saw a glass moving across the counter.  “Don’t break anything!”  Then as Brian was running at full speed the treadmill was unplugged. Brian fell against the front of the machine and then bounced back ending up on his ass.  “Fuck you!  And Sunshine wonders why I can’t wait to get rid of you.”

Brian could feel he was being surrounded.  He felt as if he was being helped up like a small child would get assistance standing up after a spill. Brian wasn’t feeling anything sexual from him this time. It was almost what a parent would….should do.  Brian stood and walked to the shower and got in.  As he let the water run over his body he couldn’t forget the feeling of comfort he felt from a spirit he couldn’t see.  Why couldn’t his parents….  He honestly couldn’t ever remember his mom just giving him a hug because she couldn’t resist.  There were times when Jenn hugged Justin, he wanted to weep for little Brian who never knew what that was like.  Tears ran freely with no one to see him. He glanced at the clock on the bathroom wall and realized Justin would be home in about half an hour. He got out and dressed and then went for another glass of Jack.  He went to shut off the computer and saw something was written.

Brian,

I know how much pain you have and I know why you protect yourself but don’t lose out on love offered to you.  You will always be Brian Kinney and you won’t do what everyone else does.  I used to say my purpose in life does not include a hankering to charm society.  We are a lot alike that way but I wanted to find love and just didn’t have time. You may not know it yet but you have love all around you and if you lose Justin you will never be happy again. He holds your heart close and will always protect it.  Saying the word love is not a weakness.  Real love takes great strength.  Your parents didn’t have it but you do.

I am ready to go home.  I hope someone knows how to get me there. Very tired. Night. JD

Brian read it through several times. He almost hit delete but saved it before shutting down the machine.  He poured a glass of Jack for himself and then poured another glass and waited for Justin.  He knew he saw him 14 hours ago but all of the sudden he needed to see him. He had texted he was on his way and had stopped at a deli for sandwiches and chips.  Brian looked around. Justin would be lighting candles but that wasn’t him.  Would Justin want him to do that?  His thinking time ended when the door to the loft began to open.

“Hey, how was your night with Jimmy?” Justin said as he walked in, dropping his book bag on the desk and brought the bag from the deli over to the counter where Brian was standing. He started to open the cupboard to pull out plates but Brian stopped him. “You don’t want…”

Justin's words were cut off by Brian’s lips.  Brian placed a hand on either side of his face and he slowly and sensually kissed him, gently prying his lips apart with his tongue and then savoring the taste and texture of the inside of his mouth.  Justin shivered and stepped into him. Brian’s hands left his cheeks and his arms wrapped around Justin’s waist. 

Eventually both men were breathless and Justin was fumbling at Brian’s zipper.  Soon Justin was leaning over the counter as Brian entered him and then Brian pulled Justin up so he was tight against his chest and Brian’s arms wrapped tight around his shoulder.  “Justin, I lo….missed you.” Together they crested and climaxed. 

Justin turned  his head so he could see Brian.  He smiled at him, “I love you, too.” Brian moved back and turned Justin for one more kiss.  

“That’s one way to work up an appetite.” Brian said as he grabbed the drinks off the counter and the bag.  “Now you can grab the plates.”

They sat on the sofa and ate turkey pastrami and sour dill pickle spears along with homemade chips they made at the deli. “So, where’s Jimmy?”

“He wore himself out tormenting me!” 

“James does not torment..”

“Justin, he threw things at me and he came very close to really hurting me.  I was running on the treadmill and he cut it off.  I ended up on my ass.”

“Did he kiss it for you or did he leave that for me?” he kissed Brian playfully on the shoulder.  “What made him so angry?”

“Well, he wasn’t really angry at me.  He was angry I was ignoring him.”

“Ignoring him, or not listening to him?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Did you make up before he got tired?”

“He made his point clear and I heard him.”

“Did your conversation have anything to do with your greeting this evening?” Justin draped himself over Brian. He kissed his cheek.

“Well, he made some good points.” Brian began to tug on Justin’s shirt.  “What time is this Chip guy coming?”

“He will let us know but it will be late morning or early afternoon.”

“Well, let’s put the leftover sandwiches in the fridge and then let's go to bed.” 

Brian and Justin got ready for bed and as they lay side by side and Brian pulled Justin close to him, he looked at the ceiling and said, “If you want to join us…”  but there was no response.

“That was sweet, Brian, but it looks like it is just the two of us tonight,” with that, Justin rolled on his back pulling Brian with him. “Make love to me, Brian.”

“My pleasure, Sunshine.”