Chapter 7

Brian was very quiet on Sunday.  Justin knew he needed some space so stayed around but out of his way for most of the day.  Jennifer came late in the afternoon to pick up Molly.  “Where’s Brian?” Jenn asked as she held Aaron, kissing his chubby cheek.  “This one is growing so fast.”

“Brian went out for a run.”

“I know Brian keeps in shape but since when does he just go out for a run, especially with the wind picking up like it is out there.”

“Mom, Joan has a lot of secrets and she is giving Brian just enough information to be tearing him apart.”

“Like what?”

“Well, we found out her real name is Catherine and that isn’t totally crazy.  Lots of people go by their middle name but yesterday she said Jack wasn’t Brian’s dad. Oh, and she has a twin sister who is in a mental hospital.”

“Wow, what is Brian doing about all of this?”

“Right now he is turning everything he thought he knew, over and over in his head.”

“Is someone looking into all this? Does his sister know anything?”

“Claire is clueless and tomorrow we will learn more about the aunt but this father thing …. He is going to have to learn more about that.  But right now I am giving him his space and as much as I like having you and Molly here, you better go. They say it is going to start snowing pretty soon and I don’t want you on the road if the weather gets bad.”

“You are probably right. Molly, time for us to go.  There’s a storm moving in and we need to get home”

Justin took Aaron from Jenn so she could hug Gus goodbye and then walked them to the door.  “If you see Brian on the road, send him home, ok?”

When Brian hadn’t returned a half hour later, Justin tried calling his phone but then heard it ring in his office.  “Damn,  Ronni?” he called loudly and she came out of her room.

“What is it?”

“I know you are off but can you watch the boys? Gus needs dinner but Brian hasn’t returned and he has been gone a couple hours and it is starting to snow.”

“Oh, yes, go.  Be careful.  It isn’t bad right now but this is supposed to be a bad one.”

Justin took his phone and grabbed his keys.  “I’ll let you know when I find him.”  With that Justin went into the garage and drove away.

James was out checking the property.  He wanted to make sure everything was secure if they got the blizzard that was predicted.  It was a little early in the year for a major storm but weather was never predictable.  The temperature had definitely dropped from yesterday and with the wind it was getting dangerously cold.  As he jogged from one area to another he thought about Emmett.  He was heating up some of his mother’s spicy stew and then promised to have something very special for dessert.  With Em that usually meant a new experiment in the bedroom which was always fine with him. Any chill he got out here would definitely be gone later tonight.  He came around the corner of the storage shed and wasn’t sure what he was seeing.

There was something leaning against the building. The sun had gone down and it was hard to see anything now that it was snowing. At first he thought it was a lawn chair that had gotten left outside the building but as he got closer, he realized it was Brian.

“Brian, are you alright? What are you doing out here?” James rushed to his assistance and nearly picked him up but Brian managed to get to his feet and James led him back to his place because it was close. “Em, come over here, quick!”James shouted when he got Brian into the house.

Emmett came into the kitchen obviously ready for date night.  “Oh my god, what happened to Brian?”

“Get him a cup of coffee and put a shot of something in it.” James sat him in front of the fireplace and threw another log to stoke the fire and then helped Brian out of his wet coat.  Brian still hadn’t said anything.  “Emmett, his pants are all wet.  Can you go grab some sweatpants? He needs dry clothes.”

“I’m alright.” Brian finally said something. 

Emmett walked over to Brian and sat next to him.  “Brian, what happened?” James moved away and went to get the pants himself.  Emmett knew Brian a lot better than he did.

“I went out for a run.  I got into a zone and then I realized how far I had gone and….I forgot my phone.”

“Oh, Justin is probably going crazy!” Em took the pants James was holding and said, “Thank’s, honey, Will you call Justin?” James bent and kissed Emmett before turning and walking a short distance away. “Brian, stand up and we will take those wet pants off.” Brian didn’t hesitate and stripped off his pants.  Naked from the waist down he pulled on the pants that Emmett handed him.

“Thanks, hadn’t seen me naked in a long time had you?” Brian’s sarcastic comment made Emmett relax a little.

“No but I get to see Jamesy regularly and if you have ever seen him  naked, which you never will… Brian, want to talk about it?”

“No I don’t,” he snapped but then relaxed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why anything I learn about my mother surprises me. You’ll know everything when I do. What time is it?”

By now it was after 7:00 and when Emmett said that, Brian sighed. “Sunshine is going to be frantic.”

From somewhere behind him he heard James say, “Justin will be here in a couple minutes.”

“Brian, we’ll leave you alone. I can see him driving up now.” Em kissed Brian’s cheek, “Glad you are alright and Justin loves you.”

Brian nodded at Em, “That’s one thing I can count on in my life.”

As Emmett and Jamey slipped into their bedroom, Justin came rushing through the door and threw  himself into Brian’s arms. After a desperate hug and several kisses Justin moved a bit back so he could look in Brian’s eyes.  “Are you alright? What happened? Where were you?”

“I was lost in my head and by the time it started snowing I realized how far away I was and I was exhausted.  I just moved towards home and by the time I got to the shed and just planned to stand out of the wind for a minute.  Next thing I knew James found me on the ground.” Brian kissed Justin, barely grazing his lips. “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to worry you. I didn’t mean to put myself through that.”

“I know, baby.  I am just so glad you are alright.  Gus asked for you before I left to look for you and his little face…’ This time the kiss was much more intense and as they separated there was fire in Justin’s eyes.  “I am going to go take that woman out of our poolhouse and dump her in a snowbank somewhere.”

Brian pulled him close, “No you’re not, because you would end up sharing a cell with your father and I can’t live without you, obviously.”

“It was James that saved you.”

“But you went looking for me.  She never came looking for me.  She knew I’d be at Debbie’s most of the time. Will you take me home, Sunshine? I want to share a hot bath with you and go to bed.”

Justin helped Brian into his coat and without saying goodbye Justin opened the passenger door and helped Brian in. When they walked into the house, everything was quiet.  The only lights on were above the kitchen area and Justin could see there was a pot on the stove that was steaming. 

“It looks like Ronni has something for us to eat.”

“I just…”

“You need to eat something and it is ready.  Come on.” Brian sat by the counter and Justin dished up two bowls of stew and cut two slices of homemade bread Tracy had made along with some herb flavored butter. Once Brian smelled it he realized how hungry he really was. They sat side by side until they had emptied the bowls and eaten the bread.

They walked hand in hand up the stairs and stopped by Gus’ room.  He was sitting on Ronni’s lap as she read him a story. When he saw his dads he looked at her and she lifted him off her lap and he ran to the door. “Daddy, where were you? Everyone was worried and see, Daddy Justin,  I told you Daddy would be alright. I love you, Daddy.” Gus gave Brian a kiss and then leaned over so Justin would take him.  “I love you, so much.” The little boy kissed Justin.  “Daddy, your face looks burnt.  There is no sun outside.”

“Your daddy has a frostbite.  That might be a bit painful tomorrow.”

“Does it hurt, Daddy?”

“If it hurts will you kiss it better tomorrow?”

“Sure I will.”

“Well, then it will be just fine.” Brian smiled at his son.

“Gus, why don’t you go listen to the rest of the story.  In the morning we will get you ready for school.”

“Ok, love you.”

Both men replied in kind and then quickly checked on Aaron before going into their own room.  Brian was really starting to feel the effects of the cold and the run. Justin started the bathtub water and then helped Brian undress and once he was settled in the water, Justin undressed and got in behind him. Brian leaned against Justin’s chest and Justin felt him start to relax. 

“Does your skin hurt?” Justin asked softly.

“Not too bad. It stings a bit but nothing worse than a mild sunburn.”

“Thank god, James found you when he did.  It could have been so…. Your mother has to go!”

“She will soon.”

“By Thanksgiving, Brian.  She needs to be gone by Thanksgiving and I will tell her if you don’t want to.  She is not a human…”

“Sunshine, not tonight, please. I need answers before ….”

“I’m sorry. I was just so scared. I didn’t know where you were. I thought you might have gotten hit by a car because of the snow and as I drove I kept looking at the side of the road.” Justin tightened his arms around Brian.  “Don’t do that again. I don’t know what I would do without you. At least if you go take your phone.”

Brian shifted so he could see Justin’s face and kissed him. “I know this is all crazy.  Now you are in the middle of it.”

“And you weren’t in the middle of my crazy family’s issues? I guess we are a perfect pair.” They kissed again and Justin touched the spots of red on Brian’s face. “Let’s get out and I will find some lotion for your face and you need to get some sleep.”

A few minutes later they were in bed. Justin had put some cream on Brian’s face and Brian’s head was on Justin’s shoulder, “Bri, can you take off tomorrow? I was thinking then you and I could go to the hospital and see if they will let us speak to your aunt rather than send the investigator.  Maybe if she sees you and knows who you are...I wish we knew how severe her problems are.”

“Will we be able to believe what she tells us?”

“Let’s try to get an appointment with her doctor in the morning. The doctor that helped with my case against my father has privileges there.  Maybe he will be able to get us connected.”

“I hope so.  I….I just want some answers about my life. Everything I thought I knew seems to have been a lie.”

“Just get some sleep.  We will figure it out in the morning.”

When Brian woke, his bed was empty and cold.  He got up and looked at himself in the mirror.  It looked like he was fortunate and his skin wouldn’t blister. He gently washed his face and put on more of the cream before going downstairs to see his family.  He knew that no matter what he found out, his sons and Justin were his family and they would always be there. He didn’t need anyone other than them.

“Daddy!  Does your face hurt? Should I kiss it and make it better?”

“Thank you, Gus, but I think it will be fine.  I’ll take a kiss anyway.” He smiled as Gus ran over and gave him a big hug and kiss.  

“That makes me feel better than almost anything in the world.”

“What makes you feel better?”

“A kiss from your other dad.” He walked over to the counter and kissed Justin and then the baby in his arms. He took Aaron from Justin and placed him in the crook of his arm as he got a cup of coffee. It wasn’t long before Ronni took Gus and Aaron upstairs, Justin and Brian could really talk.

“Brian, I called my doctor this morning.  He is fairly sure he has met your aunt and he will give us a call after talking to her doctor.  He is fairly sure we will be able to stop over this afternoon.” Justin said as he reached up and touched the spot on Brian’s cheeks.

Brian pulled him close.  “You do more work before I get up than I do the rest of the day.”

“You know that’s not true.  Oh ya, Len and James should be here in the next half hour.  They are going to take a look at my studio and then go get the supplies we need.”

“You know that guy, Len?” Brian said, “I get the feeling I should know him.”

“Well, remember James said he knew him from Babylon.  Maybe you saw him there.”

“I get the feeling we spent some time one on one if you get my drift.  I really don’t want to deal with him today. Is there anything I need to be involved with?”

“No, I will probably go up with them to make sure they know what I want and then, since James is with him, they can stay up there as long as they need to.”

“Great. I think I will go call the office and just check on what is going on there and then as soon as we hear from the doctor we will plan the rest of the day.”

After Brian left for his office,  Tracy appeared out of nowhere, it seemed. “Sometimes, I think he takes advantage of you.”

“You don’t have a clue what he does for me,” Justin responded.

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.  I just mean you were so worried yesterday and today you are dropping everything to go off with him.”

“Tracy, I know you came from a bad relationship but I would give my life for Brian and he would do the same for me. The two years my father separated us I didn’t feel like I could breathe. My father had told everyone I had died and he told me my family didn’t want me because of my injuries.”

“I can’t imagine Jenn ever…”

“If I had been thinking correctly I would have known but I had a brain injury and my thought process didn’t always work.  At first, Brian accepted it. He was in shock but when he started trying to get his life back, he said he just knew. So he started looking for me. If it wasn’t for Brian, I might still be living above a bodega in a small town in Pennsylvania thinking my family hated me.   I just can’t imagine a life without him and even more, I can’t imagine not having Aaron in my life.  Brian and I may never be able to have a biological child together but those boys are our blood and we are a family, maybe a bit unconventional, but a family just the same.”

Tracy had to swallow several times before she could say anything. “Can I say something, that may not be something you want to hear but something I need to say?”

“Sure, Tracy.”

“You were right in saying I came from a bad relationship.  The truth is, my parents are great separately, but they were not a great couple.  And I got involved too young with someone who didn’t want a partner but a slave.” She took a deep breath. “I saw how sweet you were with the boys, not to mention how gorgeous you are.” Justin flushed a bit.  “And I moved into a bit of a fairytale in my head.  I want a life like that and I guess I thought I could find a way into your life but I know how silly that is.  I really do.  I guess I should start packing.  I’m sure you don’t want me around.”

Just then there was noise outside the door.  “Tracy, we will finish this after I get Len started upstairs. Don’t start packing anything. James, Len, come on in.”

“Is this a good time?” James asked, always polite.

“Perfect. I was wondering if you would make it out here after the snow last night.”

“The main roads are clear. I thought Brian might be around, because of the snow.”

“He is but he is working in his office. Now,” Justin opened the door to the studio.  “What I need here is a beefed up ventilation system. Between my paint fumes and the cars below, I need to make sure it is safe up here, not only for me but sometimes the boys might be up here with me. I need to know it is safe for them.”

As Justin talked, Len moved around the space looking for the fuse box. “There are two ways to do this.  Do you prefer I run it through a window or to put it in the wall?”

“I would hate to take any of the natural lighting away from the space.  I would prefer it run through the wall.”

“Obviously, money isn’t a problem for Brian so I will go to the store and get a cost estimate of the supplies.”

“Do you have a timeline? Do you think it will be done this week or next?”

“It will depend on whether they have what I need.  But I will have it done by Thanksgiving, does that sound alright?”

“That sounds great. James has the credit card to pay for the supplies and he said you agreed with the pay?”

“Yes, Brian has always been a generous man. It is obvious you know that.”

“Um, actually I will be paying you.  It is my studio and I have money of my own. Well, Brian and I share most of our money but we each have our own business accounts and that is what will be paying for this.”  Justin could tell Len had stopped listening.  “Well, I need to go.  James will you please just make sure the door is locked when you leave.”

“I will, Justin.  Will you be home all day?” James asked.

“No, I …” Justin’s phone rang.  “I think we will be leaving for a bit. I need to take this.” With that Justin walked out the door and answered the call.

An hour later, Justin and Brian pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Brian turned off the vehicle but didn’t make a move to get out.  Justin reached over and took his hand. “So what are you concerned about?” he asked as he turned to face Brian.

“Honestly, I think I am most worried that she won’t be able to help at all. I wonder if she still looks like her.  As kids they obviously looked very similar. It is just going to be so odd.  Did your doctor say anything more?  I mean…”

Justin reached over and touched Brian’s cheek.  “You don’t have to do this. I can go talk to her.”

“No, I need to do this. But don’t go anywhere when we are in there.  I just don’t know…”

“You know by now, I am not going anywhere without you.” He reached over and put a hand behind Brian’s head and pulled him close.  “I will always be here for you. I love you.” Their lips touched and Justin felt Brian relax a bit.

“I couldn't do this without.”

“You don’t have to. We need to go in.  He squeezed us in.”  

They walked into the building and followed the directions Justin had been given after checking in at the main desk.  As they walked they heard noises coming from other halls.”

“Why do places like this freak me out?”

“Because we are all one accident away from being here.” 

They walked in silence the rest of the  way to the office and knocked on the door. “Come in.”

“Justin, you look wonderful.  And this must be Brian.”

“Yes, thank you so much for getting us in.”

“I felt like I needed to.  Justin, it is great to see you doing so amazing but Anna Claire is kind of a favorite here and part of the reason she is, is because she has no one.  She has been here thirty years and she has not left.  She hasn’t had a visitor since she arrived.”

“None? No one has been here?” Justin looked shocked.

“Well, that’s not quite true.  Brian, your mother came by once, according to the records, and Anna Claire had such a reaction, your mother was banned.  Just so you know, your mother has kept in touch with her doctor but your aunt says she doesn’t want to see her.”

“Doctor, is she lucid?” Brian asked.  “Should I tell her who I am? I don’t want to upset her.”

“She is unpredictable.  Not that she is violent or anything like that but some days she is with us and others, not so much. I think if you are gentle with her, she will love you and be very responsive. And on that, I really do have to go.  If you wait here, I will send someone to bring you to Anna.  Just relax.  It could be 10 minutes or so but someone will come and get you.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“If this helps Anna Claire, I will be very excited.” They both shook his hand and he was gone. 

Justin slipped his arms around Brian’s waist, “How are you doing, babe.”

“I’m scared as hell but, I’m more worried once she finds out who I am she’ll shut down or kick me out.”

“Brian, just show her this side. Your heart will shine if you let it.”

Justin stepped close and looked up hoping Brian would kiss him and, of course, he did. There was a soft knock and the door opened.  “Mr. Kinney, I’ll take you to your aunt.” As they walked through several hallways, their guide stated, “We tried to prepare her for your visit. She doesn’t get many visitors.”

“DId you tell her who I was?”

“I told her you were a relative.  She did mention one of her brothers, who I have heard haven’t been around for 40 years. I have to admit I am a little nervous for her.  She truly is a sweet woman that just has a hard time with reality.  Please be gentle with her.” She stopped at the door to a small visitor’s room.  “If you need me, I will be at that nurse’s station.” She pointed down the hall.

“Thank you for the advice,” Justin said as she walked away.   Justin squeezed Brian’s hand and walked in the room together.

“Hello, Anna Claire.” Justin smiled at the woman sitting with her back to the door. 

She turned around and both Brian and Justin took in a breath.  There was no doubt this woman was Joan’s twin.  They looked so much alike, however, Anna Claire appeared to be 20 years younger.  She looked more like Joan’s daughter than her sister.

“You are too young to be one of my brothers but as soon as I saw you I knew that.  I know exactly who you are.  You are that wicked woman’s  son.”

“Hello.  You are right, I am Joan’s son.  I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

“You have never done anything to me.” She started but then got very quiet.  She looked out the window for a minute and then turned around and looked at Brian, “How have you been, Kevin? It has been so long.  I hoped you would come and see me.” She was paused again.  “I’m sorry, you are not Kevin.  You must be her son. You are as beautiful as Kevin.  And you are built like him.”

“Aunt Anna Claire, may I call you that?”

“Of course you can. I am proud to have such a beautiful nephew.  What is your name?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I am Brian and this is my friend, Justin.”

“If I am not mistaken, he is more than a friend.”

Brian put his arm around Justin’s waist, “Justin is my partner, my husband.”

“Well, it is nice to meet you Justin.”

“Kevin, sorry Brian…” Anna Claire went somewhere else again. She sat looking at the wall but it was obviously she wasn’t actually there.

Justin sat near her and stroked her hand softly as he took it. “Anna Claire, who is Kevin?”

“Kevin is my boyfriend.  He is so handsome, isn’t he?” She looked at Brian.

“Oh, yes he is.” Justin looked at Brian and smiled.

“He’s not like that loser Catherine is married to.  She lets him call her Joan.  Why isn’t Catherine a good enough name.  Catherine Kinney.  She doesn’t dare come here again!” Anna started to get agitated so Justin tried to redirect her.

“Anna, tell me about Kevin.  You weren’t married?” Justin continued.

“No, he asked me though.  See, I still have his ring.” She held up her hand and she did have a lovely ring on her finger.

“What happened to Kevin?”

“She couldn’t stand it that I was in love with such a good man.  She had married the first man she had sex with.   But Jack Kinney wasn’t enough for her. She was always unhappy.  The only time I saw her smile was when she was looking at my Kevin.”

“Aunt Anna, I know Joan did something to upset you.  What did she do?”

“You were there, Kevin.  You know what happened! You were there!” Brian withdrew.  He glanced at Justin, and then fled the room. He needed a minute and more importantly, he felt his aunt didn’t need him there.

Justin was torn.  He wanted to go out to Brian but he felt she  was close to telling him something. He held her hand and just sat quietly with her for a few minutes. 

“I did bad, didn’t I.  That’s not Kevin.”

“Can you tell me what happened, Anna?”

“I am very tired.  You go after him.  You belong with him.  Just like Kevin belonged to me, not her.” She got up and went to the door, “Lily, take me to my room.  I need to go to my room.” She called out into the hall.  

Several other patients could be heard yelling now, “Lily.” “Lily.”  Several of them repeated Anna. 

As the young woman who had guided them walked up with a gentleman, Anna looked at Brian who was leaning against a nearby wall. “Will you come back tomorrow?”

Brian walked over, “If you would like us to.”

Anna Claire hugged Justin.  “Not you.  Just him. I will see you tomorrow?”

“You will see me tomorrow if I’m allowed but just me?” 

“Yes, it hurts too much to see him.” She nodded at Brian and with that Anna Claire walked away, Lily followed her.

“Gentlemen, I will help you find your way out.” They walked together down the long halls, “How did your conversation go? Anna is a sweet woman. Often she  seems to go somewhere.”

“Does she often talk about her past? Do you know how she got here?”

“I know it has to do with her fiance and her sister. Some say her sister married her boyfriend.  Others say her sister ran off with him.  But if I had to guess her sister had an affair with him.”

“Why do you think that?”

“She refuses to see her sister but she cries at the loss of her boyfriend.”

“Am I allowed to come back tomorrow?”

“That would have to be cleared with her doctor but I don’t think there will be a problem.” Justin gave him one of his business cards.  “An artist? You aren’t looking for a side job, are you? So many of our residents love art but we lost our art director to funding.  We have been looking for a volunteer or two that could maybe come once a month to do some art projects with them.  We would love to get two people. If we had someone come every two weeks that would mean only once a month for the volunteer.”

“Let me think about it.  We have two small boys at home that keep me pretty busy but I could manage once a month. Hopefully, I will be back tomorrow and we can talk more.  Come back tomorrow and I will set you up with the right person.”

Justin and Brian walked out hand in hand. “Brian, are you alright?”

“Ya, did she say anything more to you?”

“Nothing I can be sure about but with what she said and what our escort just said, I am wondering if Joan had an affair with Kevin. And whoever this Kevin is, could be your father. That could be totally off, because it could be that she calls a lot of people Kevin. I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Maybe tomorrow I will make another trip to the old neighborhood and maybe bring Mrs. Connor some flowers.”

“And pump her for some answers?”

“I can see what she knows.”

“Have Tracy bake some goodies.  I have a feeling Mrs. Connor has a sweet tooth.”

“How is Tracy? She’s been really odd lately.”

“Damn,” Justin remembered he had not gone back to her this morning. “We were talking things out this morning when James and Len arrived and I didn’t get back to her.  I hope she didn’t go anywhere.  She really is a great help and she seems to be able to deal with your mother better than anyone else here.”  

As they got to the vehicle, Brian opened the door for Justin and kissed him. “You are far too good for me.” 

Once Brian was behind the wheel Justin spoke up, “Speaking of acting weird, that Len is an odd one.  Have you remembered how you know him?”

“I have a feeling he was just one of the back room boys.  “Maybe I had him come over one night but that would have been it.”

“I thought you always said I was the only one you fucked more than once.”

“Well, there may have been one or two but you are the only one that counts.” He kissed Justin’s hand and then put both hands on the wheel. The road was still slick from yesterday’s snow.  “Are you seriously thinking about doing some art at the hospital?”

“I am. Once or twice a month wouldn’t take up much of my time and I know how much art helps me.”

“I am sure they would love it.”

“I think it might be good for me too.”

James had gone to the hardware store with Len and when they had finished Len said he would call James in a couple days, when he knew his schedule at the car service. James had stopped by the house to see Emmett before Em left for a catering job.  They ended up in bed and as they laid together after making love, James was a little too quiet as Em chattered on.

“What’s the matter, James? A few minutes ago, nothing was wrong with you, that’s for sure.” He kissed his nose, but you are quiet, even for you.”

“I was just thinking about Len.  He is an odd guy.  I think he still has a crush on Brian but then again, there are probably a lot of men that do. Brian was such a god at Babylon. Len just seems to be in a bit of a time warp.  Brian hasn’t been in that scene for well over two year. Maybe he just has to get it out of his system.  He will realize Brian is just a man, a great father and husband.”

“Just keep an eye on him when he is working there.  I don’t like him and I don’t want him stealing anything just because it is Brian Kinney’s.” Emmett’s hand moved down James’ powerful back. “And now, I think we should get a little more exercise before I go to work.”

“My pleasure,” James responded as he rolled Emmett over on his back.

Once Brian and Justin pulled into the garage, Justin got out and waited for Brian to walk around the car. Justin  put his arms around Brian’s waist and kissed him.  “Why don’t you play with the boys for a while? I need to talk to Tracy if she is home and then maybe Gus can help me make dinner and it can just be the four of us.”

“I love you. What would I do without you helping put this into perspective? I do need to call the priest.  I have a feeling she can’t lie to a priest as easily as she lies to me.”

Brian entered the house and went directly over to his boys who were both playing in front of the fireplace with Ronni overseeing their activities. “Ronni, take the night off.  Go take a hot bath, watch your favorite movie.  Call that man you act like you don’t have and talk sexy to him.”

“Brian! My love life,” she tried to sound serious but had to start laughing. “Are you sure? I was planning on working a couple more hours.”

“No, go.  I need my boys. Gus is going to make dinner.”

“Daddy, I can’t make dinner!  I’m too little and I can’t touch the stove.”

“Well, how about with Daddy J helping you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, your daddy said he would need your help.”

“Yeah, where did he go?”

“He’ll be back in a minute,” he said as he tackled Gus onto the rug and the giggling began.

Justin walked down the hall and after checking the laundry room, he went on to Tracy’s room and knocked. “Is that you, Ronni?”

“No, it’s me.” Justin said. “I wanted to finish our conversation.”

“Just a minute.” He could hear a little noise and then the door opened. “Sorry, I was just getting dressed.  I have to leave in a few minutes.  I am helping Emmett with a catering job.”

“I just felt like we needed to finish our conversation.”

“I am sorry, Justin. I think you are just such a loving man and such a good daddy, I just started fantasizing about having a relationship with someone like you.  That is all I have ever wanted in my life. I want to find someone to love and who loves me.  I want to be a mom with an equal partner to raise a kid or two.”

“Tracy, you’ll find him and I hope you will continue to work for us.  You are doing a great job and you are the only one who puts up with Joan.”

“Thank you, Justin.  I couldn’t find a better job. And I don’t want to be rude, but Emmett will be here in a few minutes….”

“Oh, of course.  I have a cooking date with my son so I better go anyway.”

Justin and Gus worked on dinner.  Gus stood on a step stool and Aaron sat in a seat on the island so he could watch them. “Where is Daddy? He would like to help cook, too.”

“He had a phone call to make but he will be here to help very soon.”

“I thought we could each make our own pizzas.  What do you think?”

“I get a whole pizza?”

“You sure do!”

Brian sat at his desk.  He looked at the number for Father Tom Butterfield. He was trying to figure out how much to ‘confess’ to the priest.  He wanted him to help but he wasn’t sure he would be willing to do that.  He picked up his phone and entered the number and waited.

“Father Tom.” he answered.

“This is Brian Kinney.  I don’t know if you remember…”

“Oh, sure, Brian.  I remember you.  How is your mother? I have tried to call her several times but she isn’t at her home.”

“That’s because she is at mine, making life difficult.”

“How is she doing? I’m sorry, you called me.  What can I do for you?”

“Well, my mother wants you to visit.” 

“I would be happy to come see her. I have time tomorrow afternoon.  Do you think that would work for her?”

“I am sure it would. There is something I am going to tell you and I don’t know if you will think I am a jackass for telling you or if you will think you should know.”

“Brian, your mother has told me over the years that you two don’t really have a relationship so I am very surprised she is…”

“That I have her at my house? Well, she is actually living in my pool house and I don’t spend much time with her but something new has developed.  Well, I guess it is actually old but it is new to me.”

“What are you trying to say, Brian?”

“Did she ever tell you she had a twin sister?”

“Actually, that did come up once.”

“What did she say?”

“Brian this was in confession.”

“So you know she has lots of secrets and lies. Did you know she had an affair and it is very likely that Jack Kinney wasn’t my father?” His silence told Brian this was new to him. “I know you aren’t going to say anything to me about this and that’s fine but I think some of her cheery disposition comes from her secrets. I think she can’t live with herself so she doesn’t want anyone else to be happy either.”

“Your mother, well, even though she is alway pleasant with me, I have seen the other side and what you just told me could be part of the cause.”

“Since you know she has a sister, did you know that her sister is in the mental hospital and has been for more than 30 years?  The affair was with her sister’s boyfriend. I don’t know details but I will figure it out.”

They finished the conversation and Tom would be there at 3:00.  Brian figured that would give him enough time to visit Mrs. Connor while Justin visited his aunt again and then they could be back here by 3:00.

The Taylor-Kinney crew had a great evening.  Gus loved making his pizza and after everyone was full, they all sat on the sofa and watched a movie of Gus’ choice. Soon Brian was carrying Gus up the stairs and Justin followed with Aaron.  Brian tucked Gus in while Justin did the same with Aaron.’

“Daddy,” Gus said groggily, “Can Daddy J come give me a kiss.”

“Of course he can.  Love you, Gus.”

Gus reached up and hugged Brian, “I love you, too, Daddy.”

Brian walked into the nursery just as Justin laid Aaron down. “Gus wants Daddy J to give him a kiss.”

“I love the Daddy J thing.  Why don’t you put some of that lotion on your cheeks and nose and I will meet you in bed in a few minutes.” Justin dropped a quick kiss on Brian’s mouth but Brian pulled him back and when they separated, Justin was flushed.  “I’ll be right there.”

Justin slipped into Gus’ room quietly.  “Is that you Daddy J?”

“Yes, it is Gus.” He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to give Gus a hug and kiss. “Good night, son.”

“Good night, Daddy.  You know what? Some of my friends at school say they are sad for me because I don’t have my moms here to give me hugs and kisses and I miss them but I have two dads and I get lots of hugs and kisses.” Gus barely got it out before turning over and drifting off.

Justin was afraid his heart would explode.  He couldn’t imagine being able to handle any more love than he had right now. He walked over to their room and rushed into Brian’s arms and kissed him long and almost desperately.  They both lost their clothes quickly and then Brian was sinking into Justin. It was fast and furious and soon they were both covered in a sheen of sweat and then they dropped onto the mattress.

“I am not complaining but what brought that on?” Brian said as they laid in each other’s arms.

“My heart was going to explode if I didn’t do something with all the love I was feeling. Those boys of ours couldn’t be more perfect.”

“I totally agree.”

“So you are able to go with me again tomorrow? I mean, into the city? If you drop me off and go on to Mrs. Connor and maybe between her and Anna we will get the answers we are looking for.

The next morning, Brian and Justin drove Gus to school and they went on to their destinations.  Brian dropped Justin off and, with a box of pastries, went back to his old neighborhood.  He had called Mrs. Connor yesterday and she said she would have coffee ready.  Soon they were sitting at her kitchen table with steaming coffee and gooey sweets.

“Someone at your house made these.  Oh, these are good.”  Mrs. Connor took a hearty bite.

“Yes, Tracy is in culinary school.  She cooks for us and helps with both our boys and with Joan right now.”

After chatting a little more, the older woman touched Brian’s hand.  You didn’t come here to feed an old lady.  What do you want to ask?”

“We met my aunt yesterday.  Justin is talking to her right now but she didn’t want me to come back so soon.  She called me Kevin several times while I was there.  She went back and forth from being present to being somewhere else.  Mrs. Connor, do you know who Kevin was?”

“Yes, Kevin was engaged to Anna Claire.  She was so happy but she was always fragile.  I don’t know exactly what happened but the rumors were that one night Kevin had too much to drink and he stopped by your house because Anna was supposed to be staying there.  Your mother may be the only one who really knows what happened.  But the results  changed the lives of Anna Claire and Kevin, well your mother, forever.”

“Mrs.Connor, do you know what happened to Kevin? Did Anna send him away?“

“Brian, all I know is the story that went around.”

“Please tell me.”

“When Kevin realized what he had done, he confessed to your aunt and it broke her.  She was always fragile but Kevin had loved her so.”

“And he didn’t try…” Brian couldn’t imagine losing Justin because of something stupid he had done.

“She was almost catatonic at first.  When he tried to visit she had violent reactions so they asked him to stop coming.”

“Mrs. Connor, I don’t mean to be rude but I need to know what happened to Kevin. Where is he?’

“Brian, I am not sure where he is but I can tell you what he is. He left and joined the monastery. Last I heard he was a priest in New York.”