Chapter 13

“Santa was here!  Santa was here! Daddy! Daddy J!  Santa came.” Gus threw himself between his dads.  “How did he get in my room and put them under my tree?  I was sure I would see him!”

“Merry Christmas, Gus.  That Santa is a wily one?” Brian kissed Gus.

“What does wily mean?” Gus looked at Brian.

Justin wrapped his arms around Gus and hugged him tight.  “Wily means he is sneaky but in a good way. He managed to get in there without waking you. What did Santa give you?”

“I didn’t open them yet.  Some of them are for Aaron so I wanted to open them with him.” Gus bounced onto Brian as he laid on the bed.

“Oh, take it easy on your old dad.”

“You aren’t old, well, you are but not really old.  You aren’t old like….”

“Watch it, boy,” Brian flipped and pinned him to the mattress as he leaned over and kissed Justin. “Merry Christmas, Sunshine.”

“Merry Christmas, my love. I will go check if Aaron is awake and meet you in your room.” Justin said to Gus.  “Just give me a couple minutes to change Aaron.”

Justin walked into the nursery, “Dadadada,” Aaron said and smiled at Justin. 

“Good morning, sweetheart. Merry Christmas! I know you don’t know what that is but I promise you will love it.” Justin lifted him out of the crib and carried him to the changing table where he changed his diaper and then slipped him out of his pajamas and put on the adorable Christmas romper Jenn had bought for him.  “I know you may not make the day in this but you have two more Christmas outfits.”  By the time Justin carried him into Gus’ bedroom Gus had divided the gifts into two piles on his bed.

Brian and Justin had bought several small but special gifts for the boys.  They were all things Gus had talked about but never actually asked for.  Aaron’s gifts were things Brian or Justin had heard Gus say he was sure Aaron would love. “Well, it looks like Gus has everything set out for you, Aaron.”

“Merry Christmas, Aaron,” Gus hopped off the bed and Justin dropped to a knee so Gus could hug his brother.  Aaron squealed. 

“Well, I think it is time to open the packages Santa dropped off,” Brian said with excitement in his voice. He took Aaron from Justin and sat on the bed. The next several minutes were filled with giggles of laughter and sounds of excitement as Gus and Aaron opened the gifts.

“How did Santa know this is just what I wanted?” Gus said now sitting on the floor with a small train 

“Well, you should know Santa always knows what you want most.”

“Oh, he did Daddy.  These are all just what I wanted.” 

“Well, I think I know what you want now,” Justin said.

“What’s that?”

“Your favorite caramel rolls that Tracy makes?”

“Oh, that would be good but Tracy isn’t here to make them.” Gus said holding onto Justin’s hand as the family of four made their way downstairs.

“Well, if I’m not mistaken, I think I smell cinnamon, just like in those rolls.”

“Daddy J, are you teasing me?” Gus broke away at the bottom of the steps and ran into the kitchen.  “Ronni, did you make my yummy rolls?”

Ronni stood by the counter with Dante beside her, an arm around her waist. “Well, Gus, all I did was bake them.  Before Tracy left yesterday, she made them especially for you and all I did was bake them.”

“Thank you, Ronni! Oh, and Merry Christmas!”

Ronni walked over and kissed the small boy, giving him a hug, “Merry Christmas, Gus.”  James and Emmett walked in arm in arm and Veronica hugged both of them.  Brian and Justin had talked with the household and had decided to make it a family Christmas. It would be the ten of them.  Emmett, James, Ronni, and Dante, would go to Emmett and James’ house and open gifts while Brian and Justin and the boys opened up theirs.  At 1:00 pm Molly and Jenn would join them and they would all have dinner together before opening the gifts they had for each other.  Then James and Em  and Ronni and Dante would all spend the evening together as couples while Molly and Jenn spent the rest of the day with Justin, Brian, and the boys.

There were many gifts for the boys and some for Brian and Justin. When Aaron had laid down for a nap before lunch and Gus was enthralled by his new toys, Brian handed Justin a small box and Justin handed one back to him. “You go first,” Justin said.

Brian peeled the paper off and flipped the lid open. “Oh, Sunshine, they are great!” Nestled in a deep burgundy velvet was a pair of platinum cufflinks.  They were engraved.  Each had a heart and in the center there was an A in one and in the other there was a G. They were simple and perfect for Brian to wear to work often.

“What did you get, Daddy?”

“Daddy J gave me cufflinks for my shirts.   Can you see what is on them?”  

Gus walked over and looked at them.  “I see my letter there and I see A for Aaron.”

“Your Daddy J did a great job picking them out.”

“Daddy J, what did Daddy give you?”

“Well, let’s find out.” Justin looked at the box and after pulling off the paper, he took the lid off.  “Oh, Brian,” Justin lifted out a black leather braided bracelet.  On the bracelet were four white gold small bands and each band had one of their names on it. Justin swallowed hard.  “This is so perfect. I mean…” Justin moved close to Brian and kissed him.  “Thank you, my love.”

“I like that!” Gus said looking at it closely.  

“I’m glad you do because,” Brian pulled out another box, “I have one for you, too. I got one for everyone.” Inside this box was a small bracelet which he slipped on Gus’ wrist and then slipped one on his arm.   There was still a small one in the box.”

“Brian they are so great for the whole family.”

“Both Gus and Aaron will be able to upgrade the band as they get bigger.”

“Gus, can you go over and play with your toys so I can kiss your daddy?”

“You will kiss him anyway,” Gus hugged Brian and walked to his toys.

Justin moved over and sat on Brian’s lap. “This is so special.  I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sunshine.”

“Are you done kissing so I can come back?” Gus said squeezing between them.

“Well, son, your dads will never be done kissing but right now,” Brian pulled him close and started dropping kisses all over his face and Justin joined in, kissing the cheek closest to him but then he ended up finding Brian’s lips and soon Gus was pushing them apart.

“We know, you love each other,” Gus said as he rolled his eyes.

Snow began to fall around noon and both Brian and Justin, along with the boys were glad Jenn and Molly made it to Britan before it got too heavy. Molly had texted that they were bringing clothes and planned to stay the night so they didn’t have to worry about traveling home after dark.  

By 1:00 p.m. the house had more occupants.  James and Emmett showed off the rings they had gotten for each other.  They were wearing them for the day but then they would be put away until they had their commitment ceremony.   Veronica and Dante also seemed closer than ever. Gus had fun showing his grandma, aunt and Ronni both his and Aaron’s gifts and they could see how proud he was of his new bracelet. They enjoyed the food and each other's company.  More gifts were shared but soon it was just family again, including Molly and Jennifer. They all relaxed around the great room.  Molly played with her nephews while the three adults sipped wine.

“I was surprised when you said it would just be the two of you.” Justin said.

“I really like Tuck but I prompted him to go to his family for the holidays. So many of my friends have brought someone home for Christmas, and they were in all of the pictures and by the time they were framed the relationship was over.   I wanted my kids to myself today.” Jenn choked up a little. “I never thought I would have another Christmas with both of you.” 

Justin moved from Brian’s side to Jenn’s, handing Aaron to Brian as he moved. He wrapped his arms around his mom and held her tight.  “I’m sorry.  I don’t think about how it affects you nearly as often as I should.  You are always here for us. We love you.”

“Oh, honey, I never doubt that.  You and Brian, and your amazing boys have brought me so much joy.  I can’t believe how Aaron…. First, he is growing so fast but more importantly, I wondered if it would be a struggle to really fall in love with him but, He is you. He is Molly, He is Brian. He is what I fell in love with about your father when I was twenty something.  Aaron is as perfect as you were.  And Gus I have loved for several years now. He will always be my first grandson.” Jenn watched the boys play with Molly as her son held her.  “I don’t think I could imagine a better Christmas.”

The remainder of the day was relaxed and enjoyable.  As the sun set, light snow began to fall. “Daddy, can we go outside and play in the snow? It isn’t too cold is it?”

“Well, it is definitely too cold for Aaron to be outside long,” Justin saw Gus’ face. “Brian, why don’t you take him outside.  I can stay in…”

“Both of you go outside.  I will stay in here with my beautiful grandson.  Go build us a snowman and then I will bring Aaron out to see it.”

Soon they were outside and building a snowman commenced. The temperature was mild and perfect for rolling balls and soon there was a snowman almost twice as big as Gus. standing in the front yard.  It had a scarf and a hat and Gus had named him  Fred.

“Gus, where did you come up with the name Fred?”  Justin asked as he packed a snowball and through it at Brian. 

“I don’t know.  I just like the name Fred.”

Brian scooped up Gus and they dodged behind ‘Fred’ as another snowball flew past them.  Brian and Gus made snowballs of their own and threw them at Justin, Gus giggling the whole time.  “Molly, come help me against these two.”  Molly rushed to Justin’s side and everyone engaged in the battle. Soon Brian snuck up and ‘captured’ Molly while Justin was at Gus’ side. Then in all the commotion, Brian snuck up on Justin and soon they were rolling in the snow. Justin pushed Brian onto his back and kissed him and as Brian rolled, pressing Justin into the snow, they were bombarded with snowballs that Molly was handing to Gus as fast as she could make them.  Soon Gus ran, giggling, with a snowball in each hand toward his dads and threw them at the same time.  He ended up tripping and falling between them and Brian and Justin immediately started dropping snow on him.  His laughter was contagious.  Molly walked over and Justin tossed her into the pile.

“Incoming,” Jenn’s voice surprised them all.  She lowered Aaron into the pile and soon he was in the mix of all the entertainment. “I’m going to get a little something together for dinner.”

Fifteen minutes later everyone entered the house, dropping wet coats onto the floor.  After getting Gus out of his snow pants and putting Aaron into his highchair. “We will be back down in a couple minutes, Mom.  We need to get into dry clothes.” Justin said as he grabbed Brian’s hand and they ran upstairs.

“Get out of those pants,” Justin said as he pulled off his own and braced himself against the back of the love seat.  He spread his legs far enough that Brian could enter him easily. It was fast and forceful and as soon as they had both cum, they quickly dressed. 

As they reached the door, Brian pulled Justin against him,  “Damn, I love my life!” He kissed him and they walked down the steps together.  

The rest of the evening they just wound down.  They watched a Christmas movie all together as they ate some popcorn all snuggled on the sectional in front of the fireplace. Aaron was the first to fall asleep and then Gus. Jenn looked at Molly, “Let’s put the boys to bed and then get some sleep ourselves. I am sure you want to contact your friends and tell them about the day.”

Molly reached down and picked up Gus who was curled up on Justin’s lap, “Come here, Gus, time to go to bed,” Gus wrapped his arms and legs around her while Jenn picked up Aaron out of Brian’s arms.

“Thank you,” Brian smiled at Molly and Jenn  as he reached for Justin, and pulled him close. “Merry Christmas.”  As Jenn walked past the light switch she flipped it off, leaving them in the light of the Christmas tree and the fireplace. Brian leaned into the corner of the sectional and Justin laid against him half laying on Brian’s lap.  They sat like that a long time.  Kissing from time to time but both lost in their own thoughts.  “What are you thinking, Sunshine?”

“I was just thinking about the last two Christmases.  My dad spent an hour or two with me and brought a meal from some place and then he left me on his way to who the hell knows where.” He took a deep breath, “Could today have been any better?”

It doesn’t get much better than today. I spent the last 2 years with your mom and Molly.  Craig stopped by both years.  I bet he was on his way back from lunch with you and the fucker didn’t tell us anything.”

Justin felt Brian tense up, “Darling, he lost.  He is in prison and we have a perfect life.”

“Perfect? You were in the hospital a month ago.”

“Yes, but you were there with me. We have so much to look forward to.  I can’t believe how fast our boys are growing.”

“Maybe we should try to have another one,” Brian’s hand rested on Justin’s crotch.

Justin laughed, “You and I have a baby?”

“Well, there is no possibility but we could have fun trying,” Brian’s mouth came down on Justin’s as his hand moved into Justin’s pants.

“I don’t want the night to end but let’s go to bed.” Justin said as he sat up and together they moved upstairs.  They peeked in at Gus and found him in Molly’s arms in his bed.  They were both sound asleep.  After looking at Aaron they went to their own room.  “Brian, are you going to tell me where we are going for New Year’s Eve?”

“No, that would ruin the surprise.”  Brian kissed him resting one arm over Justin’s waist. “Goodnight, Sunshine.”

“Goodnight, Brian.”

Brian let Justin know they were leaving on the 28th.   Justin still didn’t know where they were going but Brian let him know he needed no special clothes as they would probably not see another person from the time of their arrival to the time they left. 

“What are you going to do? Lock me in a hotel room?”

“Would that be so bad?” Brian asked as he ran a hand down Justin’s back and rested on his bottom.”

“No, it wouldn’t. I’m ready if you are.”

“I am.” They had said goodbye to the boys when Jenn and Molly had taken them to their house earlier that morning.  They would stay there the first two days and then the boys would go back to Britan and Molly would stay with Tracy and the boys the remainder of the time.  Ronni would be around as well as Emmett and James so Brian and Justin had no worries about their boys.

Brian and Justin loaded their overnight bags and as they pulled out of the driveway, they saw the mailman pull away. “Brian, can you pull up to the mailbox? I’m expecting a package about a painting I am being commissioned to do.”  Brian pulled up so Justin could grab the mail and then they were on their way.  

Justin looked through the mail and flipped through the pictures that he had been looking for. As he set the pack on the back seat he noticed another small package and after seeing the return address, he tucked it into his bag.  

“Anything important in there?”

“Well, the pictures I was looking for.  I will be painting a portrait and they have included about a dozen photos for me to use. Are you going to tell me where we are going? Is it a long drive?”

“We’ll be there in time for a late lunch unless you want to stop for a quickie on our way.  Then we could pick something up before we get there.”

“Come on, Brian, Where are we going? I feel like I should know.” For the two hours they talked and anything but their destination.  As Brian pulled off a main road something clicked.  “Bri, are we going to Cynthia’s cabin? The one we stayed at when we got married?”

“Yes, we are.  It is extremely snowy, as you can tell and there is a chance we could get stuck there for an extra day or two.”

“Oh, Brian, that sounds perfect.  I can’t think of a better place to be alone with you. I feel like it has been months since we had more than a few minutes to just be alone. The next couple days are going to be perfect before the new year and new responsibilities. ”

“You are taking on a big project at the hospital.  Are you sure you are ready for that? I mean you have your commissioned paintings you are doing and the boys are always active.”

“Well, Gus will be going to preschool everyday now and Ronni can manage Aaron easily. I will only be at the hospital a couple mornings a week.”

“Sunshine, you aren’t doing this because of Anna Claire and Kevin are you?”  Brian reached over and took his hand, kissing the palm and then continued to hold it.

“Oh, no, I hope maybe I can get something from her but I can relate to the people there.  I mean after my attack I wanted my old life back.  I knew what I had been able to do and what I couldn’t do then.  I can see that in some of the people I have already met there.  I hope that my art projects for them help them find a way to express themselves.”

“Sunshine, if anyone can do that it is you.  And if Anna Claire has a lucid moment or two….” He removed his hand from Justin’s as the road conditions declined and he needed to focus.  They rode in silence the last few miles as Brian focused on the path.  

When they arrived at the cabin there was a spot for him to park and a path to the cabin.  There was about four feet of snow on either side of the walkway and even part of the porch was totally encased in snow and ice. Grabbing their bags, Justin followed Brian as the path was not wide enough for them to walk side by side.  They walked into the familiar house to find a fire roaring and the smell of something amazing wafting through the room.

“I don’t know what I am smelling but I am forever grateful to whoever made it,” Justin walked over to the kitchen area and found a note. “It looks like we can thank Cynthia’s uncle for the food.  He admits he didn’t make it but he has had the fridge and cupboards stocked with plenty of food for our visit. What we are smelling is beef stew. It is in the oven on low so we can decide if we want to eat first or….”

Brian placed a hand on either side of Justin on the counter and pressed his body against him as he brought his mouth to Justin’s ear. “I think we have enough energy to…” Justin was already unbuttoning his fly and Brian did the same on his own. As Brian’s teeth sank gently into Justin’s shoulder his cock sank into that glorious spot that was the very core of their physical love but he knew that Justin’s soul was the true heart of their relationship. As he began to move quicker, his mouth softened and then he removed it as he arched as he and Justin came at the same time.

Justin turned into Brian’s arms, “I love our family but they definitely have put a damper on spontaneous lovemaking.” They kissed and Justin said, “I think I have worked up an appetite now.” His hand ran over Brian’s ass. “I’m expecting some playtime myself later,” his hand rested there for a moment before Justin pulled up Brian’s pants.  “Later, damn that ass is perfect,” Justin shivered, “but I think we need to eat first.”

Brian and Justin ate the stew along with crusty rolls before they found their way to the sofa and they laid together and soon were talking about the boys. “I can’t believe how fast Aaron is growing. I wish we could slow that down. I want to enjoy every minute of his life.”

“Sunshine, are you saying you want another baby? We have never talked about it.”

“Not anytime soon but, if you are open to it, maybe in a couple years?”

“Can we just say it’s a possibility that can be broached at a later date?” Brian kissed him. “I am definitely not saying no.  We have perfect children, how could I not wonder what another would be like, and of course, how we would achieve this will be something to think through.”

As they lay in the warmth of the fire and each other’s arms, they drifted off.  They woke up as evening fell and so did the snow.  In the 45 minutes they had dozed the car had accumulated a couple inches of white fluff  and it did not appear that it would be slowing down any time soon.

“Let’s go look at what there is in the kitchen so we can decide what we will want later.  Then maybe we can,” Justin stopped as Brian stood and offered his hand.

“Then we can take a long hot soak in a tub and have a late dinner,” Brian completed his thought.

“That sounds perfect.”

The night was perfect and by the next day, Brian and Justin were glad they weren’t planning on leaving for a few days because they could barely see the car and the path that led to it was completely indistinguishable from the rest of the front yard. They listened to the forecast and heard they had the possibility of getting another six inches  over the next couple days.  

It had been a long time since they had that much time together.  For the next couple days they made love whenever the spirit moved and besides watching movies they even got out a jigsaw puzzle and started working on it.  Brian was soon bored and decided they needed to make a game of it.  Soon every time they put a piece of puzzle that had manmade items in it they needed to take a shot.  The puzzle was mostly nature but there were a few small homes in the background, not to mention a car and a boat here and there.  That slowed down the progress of the puzzle but soon they were going back upstairs to make love.

By New Year’s Eve, both Brian and Justin were more relaxed then they had been in months.  They had talked about so many things.  But there was something they hadn’t talked about yet. Justin and Brian had worked together planning what they would like for their dinner and as the afternoon turned to evening they sat on the sofa but Justin put a little space between them and turned to face Brian, Justin put one leg up on the sofa between them and reached for Brian’s hand.

“Brian, I think it is time we talk about your parents.  I guess mainly Father Kevin. I know you needed time to soak all that in but now, darling,” Justin reached and touched Brian’s cheek, “are you going to try to find him or are you going to just see if information surfaces?”

Brian’s face was relaxed but serious. He took both of Justin’s hands. “What do you think, Sunshine? Is it worth the effort? If he doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be.”

“But we are pretty sure he doesn’t even know about you.  Would he have a reason to be in hiding?” Justin questioned.

Brian pulled Justin closer, needing to be physically touching him. “Justin,what if I track him down and find out, he wants nothing to do with me.  What if I screw up his life? I don’t want him to suffer for something he wasn’t to blame for.  All he did was get drunk and go to Catherine’s house.”

“But Brian, if he is as kind as people have told us, don’t you think he would want to meet you? Doesn’t he have the right to know about you? Darling, You deserve to learn more about him.”

“You’ll be there, right, Sunshine? I don’t think I could do it alone.  I have had two shitty parents already.  I just don’t know if I could take the rejection….”

“Oh, Brian, of course I will be with you.  Did you actually have to ask?”

Brian kissed Justin.  “No, I know I can always count on you.  You are the one person who has never hurt me.”

“Oh, I don’t know if this is a good time for this or not but I totally forgot about it until just now.  I’ll be right back.”  Justin went up the stairs and came back down with an envelope in his hand.  “I totally forgot about this.  I’m not sure how I managed that.  This was in the mail we picked up as we left.”

“Oh, ya, I remember you sticking it in your bag.  All I know about this envelope is it came from your …. from Joan.”

“Shit.” Brian said softly as he glanced at it and then looked into Justin’s eyes.

“I should have thought of it a couple days ago.  I didn’t want you to look at it while you were driving and then I just thought we both needed time to unwind before looking at something that would cause more stress.  And then we were so relaxed I totally forgot about it.”

“Sunshine, you didn’t do anything wrong. All you did was try to protect me.  What’s in it?”

“I haven’t opened it.  It is addressed to me but I wasn’t going to open it without you.”

“Can we just leave it until tomorrow.  Tomorrow is a new year.  I think that is a good time to see what she has to tell us.  Who knows, she might be returning the Christmas card I am sure you sent her.”

“Actually I didn’t.  You know we dropped a gift off for her.”

Brian touched his cheek, “You are so kind.”

“It was all your, our, son’s idea. But you added pictures, didn’t you?”

“I did.  I want her to know how special pictures are to us and I am hoping she will share some of the pictures she has of you when you were a baby or small child.”

“I doubt she has more than a handful.”

“You might be  surprised.  If she had any feelings for your father she could have taken some, hoping to share them with Kevin.”

“You are giving her credit for having feelings.”

Changing the subject Justin said, “Tomorrow sounds like a great plan, now.” He leaned forward and pushed Brian back so he was leaning against the side of the sofa. He pulled down Brian’s zipper and reached in to pull out his cock.  Justin spent the next twenty minutes taunting Brian.  He ran his tongue along the underside following the vein that was there. His tongue darted over the head seeking the first drops of precum and then his tongue circled around and around.

“Oh, lord, Sunshine.  Please….”

“I am not done, my love.”

After a few more minutes, Brian grabbed Justin’s head and pressed it over his throbbing dick. It was only seconds before Justin was swallowing his offering. He then slid his body across Brian’s sensitive member up to Brian’s mouth and kissed him. “I love you, Brian. You are the most important thing to me in my life.  I love our boys but you are the keeper of my soul.  In the years I was missing you said you could feel me.  You just knew I had to be alive. Well, I could feel you, too, but I was told it was just wanting a lost love. “

“You know that was all a lie now, right?” Brian had adjusted so Justin could lay comfortable half on and half off of Brian.

“Of course I do. I think we should get dinner started. Then we can figure out what we are doing the rest of the evening. Bri, do you miss being with a bunch of people tonight?”

“Justin, the last two New Year’s Eves I spent in the loft alone. I drank until I passed out.”

“I am sure you had invitations.”

“I didn’t want to be anywhere trying to celebrate. What is that noise?” There was a low rumbling coming from somewhere.

“If we were in the mountains I would say it was an avalanche but I believe it is a plow.  I was hoping someone would come soon.  I miss the boys so much that I was hoping you might agree to leave tomorrow morning.  If we leave around 8:30 we can be home by noon.”

“I like that idea.  I miss them, too, you know,” Brian pulled Justin into his arms.

“Of course you do. I have loved our time without them but I didn’t realize I would miss them this much,” Justin kissed him and then together they went to the kitchen. 

By the time they had finished assembling dinner the road was cleared as well as the path and the vehicle.  “Well, as long as it doesn’t snow tonight, we should have no trouble getting out of here in the morning,” Brian commented as he carried the filled plates to the small table.  Justin followed with the bottle of wine and the glasses.   

As they ate dinner they talked about a variety of things, They had steak and scallops along with creamy potatoes and shaved Brussel sprouts. “This is just a little better than eating Chinese takeout from the box.” Brian said as he took a sip of wine.

“I have some fond memories of those nights.  They usually ended up with us making love on the rug or over the sofa.”  Justin stood and moved around the table.  Brian scooted back far enough that Justin could sit on his lap, facing him. “I hope, in 50 years, you and I will be spending the evening very much like this. You know, as long as I can kiss you anytime I want, I am a happy man.” Justin returned to his seat and they finished their meal. As Brian put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, Justin started some music on his phone and played it through the cabin speakers.

Brian walked over and said, “May I have this dance?”

They spent the next hour in each other’s arms. They danced around the cabin, talking part of the time but most of the time they were comfortable just being in each other’s arms, no words were necessary to tell each other how they felt. They both knew this is where they belonged.  Around 10:30 p.m. they shared something sweet and then as the time drew closer to midnight they changed the music to nothing but slow, love songs. At 11:50, Brian opened a bottle of champagne and filled two glasses and then, with a glass in one hand and the other hand around each other.  They swayed to the music, kissing more than dancing by this point. With two minutes left, they turned on TV and did the countdown as the ball dropped and as the shout went out they clinked their glasses, took a sip, and kissed.

“I love you, Brian.  Thank you for rescuing me.”

“You are the one who rescued me.  I wasn’t living without you. My life started again the day you came down that long staircase  and trusted me enough to bring you home with me.”

They ascended the stairs and deliberately Justin first tugged off Brian’s shirt and then undid his fly and Brian stepped out of his pants.  Next, Brian did the same.  He tugged off Justin’s shirt and then he very slowly first undid Justin’s button and then every so slowly pulled down his zipper letting his knuckles brush Justin’s cock through the thin material of his briefs.  He took a sharp breath in and then Brian, slid his hands over Justin’s slim hips, taking his underwear down with them. 

Both men stood naked and together they stepped closer. “Sunshine, I want you to …”

“Lay down on your stomach, Bri.” Justin started at Brian’s neck and slowly worked his way down Brian’s body. He massaged his shoulders and worked his way down his spine, first with his hands and then his mouth.  As he got to Brian’s lower back, he groaned as Justin found a knot and worked it out and then he took in a sharp breath as Justin’s tongue worked its way between his cheeks and then sank it into him. When Brian asked for more, Justin positioned himself and entered Brian, slowly and steadily. They got into a steady rhythm and then, they both climaxed together.

After a short rest, Brian and Justin made love once more before falling into each other's arms in exhaustion.

“Good night, my love. Thank you for finding me and bringing me back where I belong. And, Brian, you and I will find Kevin and whether or not he is interested we will be alright.  Together we are always alright.”

“Life is perfect so anything more we can have will only add to the best life ever.” With that said, Brian pulled Justin close and they drifted off.

Brian woke around 7:00 a.m. and went down to make coffee and then brought up a cup for each of them.  “Hey, Sunshine,” he set both mugs down and kissed Justin. “If we want to be on the road on time.”

Justin sat up in bed and stretched before reaching for the cup next to him.  “What got you up so early?”

“I woke up about an hour ago.” He got back in bed so he could be partially under the covers. “I was thinking about Kevin.  I want to be very careful with that situation.  I don’t want to cause any issues for him.”

“Of course you don’t, Brian.  That isn’t what this is about.”

Brian took another swallow of coffee and set it aside as he reached for the envelope that came from his mother.  This is the other thing I couldn’t stop thinking about.  Will you open it, Sunshine?”

“You know you could open it.”

“Please, Sunshine.  I don’t know why this has me so nervous but, damn, that woman can even get me by sending you something.”

Justin kissed him and rested against Brian and the headboard as he took the envelope.  He opened and then stopped.  “Just remember, Brian, that no matter what she says in this envelope, it is nothing that can hurt you or me.”

“I know you’re right.  What is it?”

Justin reached in and pulled out a small sealed envelope in it. “Damn, she can’t make anything easy, can she?” He opened this envelope and reached in, pulling out a small stack of what he first thought were cards of some kind but then he looked at what he had in his hand and he looked at Brian, “Brian, look!” he said softly.  

Justin was holding a stack of pictures.  The top one they had seen before.  It was a picture of Jack holding Brian. Jack wasn’t a good father but he may have had a reason to be unhappy with his life.  Maybe that’s why he felt Brian owed him that extra money from time to time.  Then Justin put that one on the bottom and looked at the next and then the next.  They were chronological order from youngest up to about the age of ten.

“Bri, she sent them to me.  I talked to her more than once but it finally sank in and she took the time to get these together for us.” Justin kissed him again. He looked through the stack and found the one closest to Gus’ age.  “I knew Gus looked like you.  Look at this one.when you were about the same age as Gus is now.”

“He really does.” Brian agreed. “Can we shower and go home now?”

“Of course we can, Brian.”  Justin dropped the photos back in the envelope and the envelope in his bag.

An hour later they were pulling away from the cabin.  “I think we need to make a get away a regular thing. Maybe a weekend every three months.” Brian said as he pulled out onto the main road.

“That sounds perfect.” As they continued down the road, Justin reached back and pulled the envelope to look at the pictures that had been sent by his client but as Justin got a good grip he realized this wasn’t the right folder but since he had it, he decided he would look through them once more. As he pulled the pictures out of the envelope he noticed a small slip of paper stuck in the bottom of it.  Justin read what it said  and he got very quiet.

“Justin, what is it?”

“I found a note from your...from Joan.”

“What does it say?” Brian asked

“Brian, you have to remember that this is Joan.”

“I don’t expect anything from her.”

“The note says, ‘Brian - I will look for more’.”  Justin looked over at Brian, “You know what this means, don’t you?”

“She isn’t very organized?”

“Brian, she is willing to look.  If she is willing to take time to do this, maybe she will be willing to answer more questions soon.”

“She will never be a mother to me but maybe she will at least be a human being. And you know what? That is fine with me. I don’t expect her to answer any more questions and I have all the love I need. I have you and the boys.  We have wonderful friends and your family. I will do all I can to be the best person I can be. All I can ask for is to live this life with no remorse.” With that Brian lifted Justin’s hand to his mouth and kissed it as they moved toward the life they had created together.

Stay tuned for A Father’s Remorse