Chapter 11

Three days later Justin found himself outside of an apartment complex that he had never been to before, looking for Brian's last name next to the doorbells connected to each apartment. When he finally found it, he pressed the button, hoping against hope that maybe Brian wouldn't be home.

Seconds later that hope was disappointed, when a gruff voice came back to him over the intercom.

“Yeah?”

“It's me,” he just replied, not really sure what else to say. A second later he heard the door buzz and pressed it open. He went up to the third floor and then looked for apartment F, which was Brian's as per the address he had been given by Daphne. As he made his way upstairs, he cursed himself for even hoping that Brian might be out. Where would he be? He hardly knew anyone in Toronto except for his old friends from Pittsburgh who would mostly be working or in Gus' case would be in school and unlike them, Brian didn't have a job, so didn't really have a place to go. Justin chastised himself for even having gone as far as hoping that Brian might be out, knowing that at the end of the day everyone around him was right and that they needed to talk. There was no way around it.

As he turned the corner to apartment F on the correct floor, he stopped when he saw Brian leaning against the door frame, looking at him with mild interest in his eyes. “Didn't expect to see you here...”

“I promised I would get you the information from the accountant,” Justin offered, waving around the manila folder he was holding.

“Hmmm, I thought you said something about setting up a meeting with the accountant,” Brian drawled, clearly remembering what Justin had said in their last conversation at his house.

“Yeah, I figured this would be faster, but if you want, I can still set up that meeting,” he said, trying to avoid looking at Brian. Brian was barefoot, wearing jeans and a black wifebeater and even though he wasn't as ripped as he used to be and was clearly still missing weight, he looked good. Justin mentally shook himself, forcing himself to stop thinking in terms like that. He was with Ethan now and Brian's looks didn't matter and weren't of any consequence at all to the conversation they were about to have. He cleared his throat before he went on.

“Can I come in?”

Brian shrugged as if he couldn't care less and stepped back into his apartment, wordlessly inviting Justin to follow him.

The younger man did and couldn't help but take a look around in curiousity. This definitely wasn't the loft and the furniture was way outdated and absolutely not Brian's style, but as far as apartments went, it was nice. Justin had definitely seen worse in his time.

“This is nice,” he said politely, nodding at the apartment around him.

Brian only shrugged again. “It'll have to do for now.” He then walked over to what was the kitchen and picked up a mug with steaming liquid inside. “You want one as well? Or something else?” He asked, indicating the coffee in his hands.

“Nah, I am good. I really just wanted to give you these,” Justin said as he handed the manila envelope to Brian.

Brian put down the coffee mug again and took the envelope, opening it. He took a quick glance at the papers inside, raising an eyebrow every once in a while, before he put the papers on the kitchen table and looked at Justin. “Say what you want about good, old Theodore, but the man knew how to take care of money.”

Justin could only nod as Brian was right. Ted had done well investing Brian's money in Canada and the money had brought in good proceeds over the years it had been invested in Canada. Even though he had paid for his studies and the house with that money, there was still a sizeable chunk left that would allow Brian to live very comfortably for some time to come.

Picking up the papers again, Brian went through them once more, then stopped at a particular document with a frown. “What's this?” He asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion as he turned to look at Justin.

Without even seeing the document, Justin knew what he was talking about. “It's a contract that I want us to sign, outlining a repayment schedule for the money taken out of that account to pay for my studies and the house,” he explained calmly.

Brian kept eyeing him for the longest time, before he ran a hand through his hair. He sighed deeply and his voice was incredibly sad when he spoke. “I don't want your money. I told you.”

“And I don't care. It was your money, not mine. At the time I didn't have any, so I was glad to use it, but now... things have changed and I have money, so I want to repay you.”

“Good for you,” Brian said, before he turned around, looking at the stove as if it had the answers to the universe's most urgent question. “I don't want you to pay me back.”

It had been quiet and once again Justin couldn't help but hear a sadness in Brian's voice that he didn't quite know how to place.

“Brian, I...,” Justin started, but didn't get any further, as Brian turned around and looked him straight in the eye.

“It was for our future in Canada. Yours, Gus', mine. That's what you used it for. Your and Gus' future. So the money went exactly where it was supposed to go. End of story.”

“Brian, you know that's not true.”

“It is for me,” was all Brian said, before he took his mug of coffee again.

Justin eyed him and could see that Brian's walls had come back up. The sadness he had heard earlier was now gone and a business-like tone had replaced it.

“This money was not meant to pay for a house that I would be living in with another man,” Justin said truthfully, his eyes never leaving Brian's. He saw a small flicker of something that looked like pain, before a cold gaze met his own.

“Well, we all know plans don't always work out the way we intend to. This money was meant to provide for my son's future and it did. It gave him a roof over his head. End of story.”

“Brian,” Justin started once more, but was interrupted by Brian right away.

“End of story. I will not take your money. If that's all, I have to get back to what I was doing earlier,” Brian snarked, walking over to the door of his apartment.

Justin had the decency not to ask what that had been as he couldn't really imagine what Brian might have been so busy with that would have been more important than this conversation.

When Brian noticed that Justin wasn't following, he turned around once more, looking at him in clear annoyance for not leaving.

“What about Gus?” Justin just said in explanation for not moving.

“What about him?”

“Acting stupid doesn't suit you,” Justin just sighed which earned him an angry glare from Brian. He looked around the apartment once more and could see two doors that led away from the kitchen/living area. He assumed that one was the bathroom and one was the bedroom. “Where would he be staying if he moved in here? I don't see a room for him.”

“He can have the master bedroom,” Brian said, pointing to one of the doors.

“And you? Where would you sleep?”

Brian shrugged, before he nodded towards the sofa. “It'll do.”

“Brian,” Justin sighed, trying not to get angry. “He has a perfectly fine room at home. Why move him in here where you would end up on that ratty old sofa?”

“It wouldn't be forever. Just until I find a better place,” Brian gave back, nodding towards the papers Justin had given him earlier, indicating what he wanted to do with the money left in the account.

“Can't we come to a better agreement? Together?” Justin suggested, trying to stay as calm as he could be. “For Gus' sake? I get it, he's your son and you want him to live with you, but... for the last couple of years... we have built a life here, Brian. The house is Gus' home. It's close to his school, his friends. And... Ethan and I...we are his family, Brian.”

“I am his family. I am his father,” Brian angrily shot back, throwing his best Kinney glare in Justin's direction. Weaker men had stumbled from the intensity of that glare, but not Justin.

“And I have been the closest thing he had to a father for the last five years,” the younger man immediately shot back. “What good will pulling him out of his home do? What good will losing the stability that he knows be for him?”

“That doesn't make you his father. I am very grateful for what you did for him, but now that I am here, I will have my son live with me.”

“Brian, please. Just... think about this reasonably for a second. Gus' life has been uprooted so many times before because of everything he has already been through. He's finally settled and happy. Why take that away from him?”

“So living with me wouldn't make him happy?” Brian asked, his anger rising again.

Justin sighed. “That's not what I said. I... I just want us to keep Gus' wellbeing a priority here.”

“It has always been my priority, so don't you dare say otherwise,” Brian hissed, glaring even more intensely than before.

“I know, I fucking know, okay?” Justin felt himself losing the last of his patience. “I was there that night. I fucking know!”

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as each man tried to avoid meeting the other man's eyes.

It was Justin who first broke the silence after a couple of minutes of just taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

“I know that you're angry with me. I know that you want to lash out at me and want to punish me. I get that... I do! I just don't want you to pull Gus into whatever this is between us. You are angry with me? Fine, I can live with that. I know I deserve that. Gus doesn't however. He is not at fault for me being with Ethan. So... think very carefully about uprooting his whole life just because you want to punish me. It's all I am asking. I just want us to come to a solution together that will not harm Gus in any way.”

With that Justin walked past a speechless Brian and left the apartment, leaving Brian to stare after him, trying to figure out what had just happened.

***

“Dad? Dad?” Gus asked, looking at Brian, sighing in slight annoyance, because his father had once again missed a very easy pass when he had passed the soccer ball to him.

Brian shook his head, then looked at Gus and the ball that was rolling away from him and sighed.

“Sorry, sonny boy.”

He went to pick up the ball, then walked over to where Gus was standing.

“Are you okay, Dad?”

Brian nodded, before he wrapped his arm around Gus' shoulder, pulling him close. “Yeah, just thinking about something else. Sorry. I am a bit distraced today. Maybe it's better if we head back to the apartment and get started on your homework.”

Gus frowned for a second, not quite sure what to make of that statement. They usually went to the park close to his father's apartment after school to kick around the soccer ball for a bit, before they would go back and get started on his homework. They always did it and he wasn't quite sure why today would be different, but seeing the clouded look on his father's face, he knew that it was probably better to just go along.

“Okay,” he nodded without much enthusiasm, walking along as they left the park.

“I am sorry. I'll make it up to you tomorrow, okay?” Brian promised, squeezing Gus' shoulder.

The younger boy nodded, but didn't reply anything else to that.

Once they arrived back at Brian's apartment, they both got cleaned up, had a quick snack and then settled down at Brian's kitchen table to get started on Gus' homework. Gus was a good student, very smart and school usually came easy for him, so he didn't need much help from Brian.

Brian watched as Gus worked on his French vocabulary and helped him test his knowledge. Once Gus moved on to physics, Brian's mind wandered to his earlier conversation with Justin.

“Would you like staying here for longer? Maybe spending a weekend, sonny boy?” Brian suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

Gus looked up with a confused frown. “A weekend?”

“I was thinking that it would be nice to have you here for a bit longer than just a couple of hours every day. Maybe we could spend a weekend together, take a trip somewhere?” Brian explained some more to his confused son.

“Uhm, sure,” Gus agreed, nodding happily, before his face turned into a frown. “Where would I sleep?”

Brian nodded towards the bedroom. “You can have the bedroom. I'll take the sofa.”

“Are you sure?” Gus asked, raising an eyebrow in doubt as he looked at the old sofa in the living area that looked far from comfortable.

“Yeah, sure. I might even get a new one if you come to spend more time here.”

Gus nodded. “Sure, yeah. Maybe we can go to the Toronto Islands. The ferry ride over is quite nice and they have some fun things to do there.”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” Brian agreed, enjoying Gus' idea, so far only having heard about the islands, but not having been there.

“Ethan always takes me on rides at the amusement park while Justin is busy sketching the flowers,” Gus enthusiastically told his father, before turning more conspiratorial. “They both suck at soccer, so they always let me do other things because they can't play. Maybe we can play in one of the parks on the islands?” He suggested.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Brian agreed, loving that he and his son apparently had found something that was just theirs. Apparently soccer was something that only they enjoyed and were good at and he loved that he and his son had something in common even after all the years they had spent apart.

After Gus had turned back to his homework, Brian watched him for a while, turning thoughtful once more. After about half an hour of comfortable silence, he asked a question he didn't even know he would ask until it had left his mouth already. “So... you like Ethan?”

Gus looked up and nodded. “Yeah, he's cool. He's fun to be with. He sucks at soccer and video games though. At least Justin can play video games, but Ethan's a lost cause. He's all about his violin.”

“His violin?” Brian frowned, not quite sure what Gus was refering to.

“He plays the violin for the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. He is really good, though it's not really my type of music,” Gus shrugged. “I hate when we have to go to any of their concerts. Justin usually wanted me to come along, but Ethan talked him into allowing me to stay home with Daphne instead. He knows it's not really my cup of tea and he's fine with it.”

Brian tried to imagine his son sitting through a performance of the Symphony Orchestra and couldn't really imagine that. His son was very active and loved moving around. He could only imagine how much Gus must have hated those concerts. For a second Brian wondered why Justin would have taken Gus along to begin with, but then he realised that as a WASP, Justin had been raised that way and had learned from an early age that the Symphony was something that was a part of life. He wondered if Justin really liked the music or if it was just something he was used to listening to because he had been raised that way.

“Yeah, not sure I would like it either. Violin music sounds like a cat is being strangled,” Brian muttered, then made a face to underline his distaste of that type of music.

Gus laughed at his father's reaction. “I know, right? Justin seems to like it. I guess Ethan does, or he wouldn't be playing the violin, but really? It just sounds weird...”

“You are my son after all,” Brian smiled, running his hand through Gus' auburn hair and chuckling in amusement. “I am proud of you, sonny boy!”

Gus glowed at his father's pride, before his face turned serious again. “Ethan has a new concert next weekend. Maybe I could come over then and stay with you? That way Daphne wouldn't have to come over and could maybe join Justin at the concert for once,” Gus suggested.

While Brian doubted that Daphne was much of a fan of symphonies either, he liked the thought of having Gus over for a weekend too much to mention that to his sonny boy.

“Sounds like a plan. Why don't I check with Justin to see what he thinks about it?”

Gus nodded enthusiastically, looking forward to spending a weekend with his father.

***

“Ethan, I don't know,” Justin sighed, after he had put down the phone receiver and given his partner a summary of his earlier call with Brian.

“Why not? You know that Gus hates going. And what difference does it make if it's Daphne or his Dad watching him while you're out?” The older man reasoned. “You know he would love to spend time with Brian.”

“Yeah,” Justin huffed, before he flopped down next to his partner on the sofa.

“Justin,” Ethan sighed, rubbing his partner's shoulders in support. “Are you scared he will love it too much?”

“What? No!” Justin exclaimed, but both he and Ethan knew that his answer had been too quick to be an honest one.

“Just because he wants to spend time with his Dad and loves being around him, doesn't mean he loves you or me any less, honey.”

“I know...,” Justin muttered, slowly exhaling as he spoke. “What if Brian gets him to agree that living with him is the best way to go forward?”

“Then we will figure out a way to make it possible,” Ethan said, preparing himself for the explosion he knew would be coming. And indeed, it only came a second later.

“WHAT?” Justin looked at his partner from wide eyes as if he had grown a second head. “You can't be serious.”

“Jus, calm down. You know that if Brian wants Gus to live with him, there is nothing we can do about it. Brian is his biological father and will get custody without any problems. We are not his parents, no matter how much we would like to be.”

“But... we don't even know if Brian is in any state to take care of him. And... this is his home!”

“Yes, it is. And by supporting him in whatever choice he makes, we will show him that it will always be that. You would push him away if you tried to stop him, honey. You know that. You know how determined Gus can be at his young age and if Brian wants him to live with him and Gus wants to live with his father, you going against that wish will only turn Gus against you. Our best hope is to support him in whatever he wants to do and to show him that no matter what, we will always be there for him. Even if he wants to live with his father, we will still love him and be there for him.”

“How can you be so reasonable about this?” Justin asked, looking at his partner accusingly. “It would break my heart to have him leave our home.”

“I didn't say it would be easy. You know how much I love Gus and you know how much he means to me, but he's getting to an age where he will start to make up his own mind about things and... while he does so, it's for us to support him and help him as best as we can.”

“I am not sure I can,” Justin admitted honestly, knowing that it was the truth. If it came down to losing Gus, he wasn't sure that he could be supportive about it as it happened.

“Of course you could. You always have his best interest at heart and deep down you know that you would never do anything that would risk his happiness.”

“But he's happy here,” Justin pointed out, helplessly throwing his hands around their living room.

“Which doesn't mean he couldn't be happy living with his father either,” Ethan replied calmly, pulling Justin closer. “It's just for a weekend. Don't overthink it, okay? Who knows? Maybe it won't even work out and Gus will come back at the end of it, complaining about how much he hated it. Stranger things have happened.”

“One can only hope,” Justin muttered, before he buried his face in his partner's shoulders, feeling ashamed for his own thoughts.

“Give them this one weekend. What's the worst that could happen?”

“That he doesn't want to come back and wants to stay with Brian right away?” Justin muttered, before he slowly pulled back from Ethan's embrace and looked at him, feeling embarrassed by his own thoughts. “God, I am horrible.”

Ethan chuckled, leaving a small kiss on Justin's lips. “But you're my horrible man and I love you, because it just shows how much you care about Gus.”

“Maybe you're right... I mean... it would only be for one night and... I can't really say no, can I?” Justin frowned, looking at Ethan hopefully.

“Not without risking that Gus will hate you and Brian will come after us with a custody lawyer. He is Gus' father. It's as simple as that. And honestly, the more we can all try to find a solution together, the better it will be for Gus in the end. So if you want to make Gus really happy, allow him to stay with Brian for the weekend.”

Justin stayed silent for the longest time and after several minutes of thinking it over and looking at it from all sides, he finally gave in and nodded, knowing that once again Ethan was right.