Chapter 24

Only that talking to Brian had turned out to be a lot harder than Justin had expected. Every time he had tried talking to the older man, Brian had found a way to avoid Justin. Just like he had found incredibly creative ways to stay out of Justin's way in general.

Where they would have normally met when Brian had taken Gus back home in the evenings, Brian now just let Gus get out of the car and was off before the boy had even reached the main door of the house. When Justin had tried to meet Brian at his office, he had been informed by his secretary that Brian was in meetings all day long.

His calls just went to voicemail and his texts had been ignored. He had sent one text to Brian, just saying “We need to talk.” to which Brian had replied “Is it about Gus?” When Justin had gotten back to him and said that they needed to talk about that night, Brian had stopped responding. If it wasn't about Gus, he wasn't available.

Brian had been avoiding him for almost three weeks now and Justin was getting incredibly tired of it.

“I really don't know what else to do anymore,” he sighed as he looked at his beer bottle, then took a long sip.

He and Daphne had decided to have a night out. It was Saturday, they were young and most importantly Gus was spending the night at a friend's house, so Justin was all alone and free. It had been years since he and Daphne had been out like that, cruising the gay scene of Toronto.

Once Justin had been with Ethan, there just hadn't been any fun in going out and checking out the gay clubs of the city. What was the point if you could watch, but not touch? But now that he was officially single, why not? And Daphne had claimed that he needed a distraction and that this would be good for him, so who was he to say no?

“Jus,” Daphne said, looking at her friend in slight annoyance, but also with very understanding eyes. “What did you expect?”

“That he would at least give me a chance to explain.”

“Would you give him a chance to explain if he had done the same to you?” Daphne asked reasonably, but stopped when Justin shook his head.

“He never would want to explain and don't forget, he did it to me. Back then I went and stalked him like crazy until he couldn't avoid me any longer.”

“Well, maybe that's what you should do then. It seems to have done the trick before,” Daphne shrugged.

“I am not 17 anymore. Please, I have some self-respect now,” Justin huffed, then rolled his eyes when Daphne just responded with a tense 'Could have fooled me.'

“I fucked up. It's my own fault. It's too late now,” Justin sighed melodramatically, then took another long sip from his bottle.

“Okay, stop it! This is enough! We are here to have fun and to get you laid. Not to have you drown in self-pity over a decision that you made yourself. Tonight, we're having fun! Tomorrow you can go back to being mopey Justin, but not tonight,” Daphne announced, as she took the bottle from Justin's hands, put it on the table and then took his hands.

“We're off to Fly2.0 now,” she announced, pulling her friend up with her. “And from now on it's just fun, fun, fun.”

“Daph,” Justin tried to complain, but knew that it was futile. Daphne was on a mission now and wouldn't be stopped. And who knew? Maybe she was right. Maybe a night of dancing and maybe even a random fuck was just what he needed to clear his mind.

So in the end he followed her with a lot less struggle than they had both anticipated and went down the street to their favourite gay nightclub in Toronto.

Fly2.0 wasn't like Babylon, but it came pretty close. The décor, the music and most of all the clientele were exactly like Babylon. The same horny gays looking for fun, sex and some of them even for the loves of their lives. It was the closest they had found to Babylon here in Toronto and once they made their way there, Justin was immediately reminded why he had liked the club to begin with.

The loud beats of the music, the half naked (sometimes even more naked!), sweaty bodies, the alcohol, sometimes the occasional drugs. Yeah, this was what Justin needed to forget about his woes where Brian Kinney was concerned.

They immediately made their way to the dance floor and started shaking their bodies to the beat of the music. It didn't take long for Justin to gain an audience. Even though he was older now, he still knew how to dance and how to move his body to the beats. His ass was still spectacular and neither Justin himself nor Daphne were really surprised when men started flocking towards him almost immediately.

Some of them made their interest very obvious and started humping him quite openly. Justin politely declined all offers and shook his head at the men around him.

“Jus, come on! That guy in the black wifebeater was hot!”

“Maybe,” Justin just shrugged, never stopping to dance to the beat of the music.

They continued dancing for what felt like hours, before they both felt thirsty and decided to take a break. They went to the bar and ordered drinks, watching the action on the dance floor while they drank.

“Oh shit,” Daphne suddenly exclaimed which made Justin frown. He turned towards her, then followed her line of sight. When his eyes saw what hers saw, his stomach twisted painfully.

Brian! With a trick. Heading towards the backroom or what served as the backroom in Fly2.0.

Justin didn't know why, but his stomach contracted when he saw Brian and the trick disappear around the corner and he had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to stay calm.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Justin nodded, then opened his eyes again and turned towards his friend with a fake smile. “Sure, yeah.”

“I am sorry. I didn't know that he would be here,” Daphne started, looking at Justin in concern.

Justin shrugged and tried to act as nonchalantly as he could. “I am not really surprised. Babylon used to be Brian's playground. Of course he would find a new one here in Toronto as well. It's just who he is.”

“Are you really okay?” Daphne asked once again, eyeing her friend in obvious concern. She knew that he loved Brian and that there were things left unsaid between them. She knew how much Justin was hoping and praying that one day they would work out their differences and could be a couple again and she knew how much it had to hurt Justin to see Brian disappear into the backroom with a random trick.

“Let's dance!” Justin announced instead of answering her question and pulled his friend back towards the dance floor.

Daphne was sure that Justin was just putting on an act, but wasn't quite sure what to do about it. So in the end she followed him and they went back dancing for the next hour.

They took one more break for drinks, but didn't see Brian again all night which in Daphne's opinion was probably for the best. Justin once again got some very clear offers, but declined all of them with a friendly smile and sad shake of his head.

Around 2am Justin suddenly announced that he was getting tired and that they should head home. Feeling quite bushed herself, Daphne agreed and they left and hailed a taxi.

As Daphne's place was on the way to Justin's, they dropped Daphne off first. The friends promised each other that they would talk the next day, they kissed and then Daphne rushed into her apartment building, thinking that Justin would head home as well, only that he didn't.

***

“Still home by 3 o'clock, I see,” Justin muttered, scaring the shit out of Brian as he got off his elevator and walked towards his apartment.

“Jeez, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I am surprised you are on your own. Wasn't anyone willing to come home with you tonight?”

“There would have been enough volunteers,” Brian just gave back, walking closer towards his door, where Justin was sitting on the floor. “How did you get inside the building?”

Justin slowly got up, then shrugged as he met Brian's gaze head on. “I have always been resourceful,” he announced, not wanting to let Brian know that he had slipped in before the door had closed when someone else had left the building. Otherwise he would have had to wait for Brian outside on the sidewalk.

“Why are you here?” Brian sighed, knowing very well how resourceful Justin could be if he wanted to.

“I saw you at the club earlier,” the younger man said as if that would explain everything.

“And?” Brian urged him to continue, because to him it didn't explain anything.

“I saw you disappear into the backroom with that trick,” Justin continued.

“Which one?” Brian smirked, leaving no doubt that there had been more than one trick that night.

“Tall, dark, handsome. The one with the tattoo on his shoulder.”

Brian nodded as he remembered the one Justin was talking about. “Gives lousy blowjobs. Don't let him get anywhere near your dick.”

“I didn't plan to,” Justin replied quietly, looking Brian up and down. Damn, he was hot. Even now at his age, Brian looked damn hot in his clubbing clothes.

“And what did you plan?” Brian asked instead with a raised eyebrow.

Justin shrugged, lowering his eyes.

“Okay, what the fuck? What are you doing here?”

“I don't know,” the younger man finally breathed out after a long silence had settled between them.

“Bullshit!” Brian exclaimed as he opened his door, then stepped inside. He left the door open, knowing that their conversation wasn't over yet, but also knowing that it was not a conversation he wanted to have in the hallway of his apartment complex where other neighbours could hear them.

“Brian,” Justin started as he followed the older man inside the apartment and closed the door behind them.

The second the door had been closed, Brian turned on Justin, his eyes glaring daggers at the younger man. “You want to lie to yourself? Fine! But don't you dare lie to me. You came here because seeing me at the club with the trick got you hot and bothered and now you're here, hoping for a repeat performance.”

“I...no,” was all Justin could reply, shaking his head furiously.

“Then why are you here?” Brian repeated, almost as if talking to a child.

“I wanted to apologise,” Justin started, only to be interrupted by Brian again.

“Bullshit! You can apologise at any time, there's no need to wait outside of my apartment at 3 in the morning...”

“I can't really apologise with you avoiding me and making it almost impossible for me to speak to you,” Justin gave back right away.

“Maybe that should have been a hint that I don't feel like talking to you,” Brian said, his voice drenched in sarcasm.

“I am sorry,” Justin just said, his voice very quiet and almost void of emotion.

“And I don't care.”

“I love you,” Justin whispered, looking at Brian from wide blue eyes.

Brian snorted, running his hand through his hair. “You know, you really need to make up your mind. One day it's love, the next it's a one-night stand that didn't mean anything and now we're back to love?”

“It has always been love,” Justin said sincerely, looking up to meet Brian's angry gaze, hoping that the man would see the truth in his eyes.

“That's not what you said after Gus' birthday party,” Brian pressed out, still glaring at Justin.

“Because I was scared,” Justin admitted, once again lowering his eyes.

Despite his better judgement, Brian couldn't help but ask the next question. “Scared of what?”

Justin sighed, his voice sounding beyond emotional when he spoke next. “That the night hadn't meant the same to you that it had meant to me.” A single tear now ran down Justin's cheek.

“A one-night stand?”

“No, so much more,” Justin replied, his eyes never leaving Brian's as he tried to explain his feelings. “It meant the world to me, Brian. It... it meant everything. For the first time in years I felt complete and...I was scared it hadn't meant the same to you. That you would be angry with me...”

“Angry?” Brian asked in a voice that didn't give any hint how he felt about any of what Justin had just said.

“Angry because I had used you. Because I had pushed you to have sex with me when... when you were still so emotionally raw from that nightmare. I... I shouldn't have done that, but I needed you so much and I just wanted to make you feel better and when we...finally... it felt so good and the thought that you would be angry with me because I had used you and pushed you into sleeping with me...The thought killed me. I couldn't bear the thought of you telling me that it had been a mistake when it had been the best night of my life,” Justin finished, by now openly crying.

Brian's face still gave no indication of what he was feeling or thinking about Justin's words and Justin wondered if his words mattered to Brian at all or if they left him cold.

“You didn't use me,” Brian just said after being quiet for the longest time.

“Yeah, I did. And I felt so bad about it, but at the same time, I also didn't because it meant the world to me.”

“You didn't use me,” Brian just repeated, still not giving anything else away.

Once again an uncomfortable silence settled between the two men. Brian broke the silence after several minutes, slowly making his way over to Justin as he spoke.

“Give me some credit, Sunshine. After all these years, I know when I am being played or used. Do you really think I would have let that night happen if I hadn't wanted it to?”

Justin gasped, looking at Brian from wide eyes. Firstly because Brian had called him Sunshine for the first time in forever and secondly because of what the man had said. Brian had wanted to sleep with Justin as well? Had Justin heard correctly?

“But,” the younger man started, trying to find the words he knew were in his head somewhere. “You never... you never said that you...”

“Yeah, I guess I am still not good with words,” the older man shrugged, his trademark smirk in place. “I am better at showing... or at least I thought I was...”

Brian wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing or not, he wasn't sure if he would come to regret this or not, but he also knew that he would regret it more if he didn't at least give this a chance.

Yes, he had been burned before by Justin's behaviour, but everyone kept telling him that Justin loved him. Emmett had said so, Daphne had said so several times over the last year. What if they were right? Could he really risk letting that chance slip away? Could he really risk not takint this chance they had here? What if Justin was right and he loved him, what if he had only been scared? Maybe he needed Brian to give him a sign, maybe that would help them get this right.

Trusting his heart and trying to turn off his mind, Brian made a decision, hoping that he wouldn't come to regret it.

Justin looked surprised when Brian's body was suddenly right in front of his own, barely inches between them.

The blond was even more surprised when Brian leaned in and closed the gap between them, their mouths meeting in a searing kiss.

After several minutes they broke apart breathlessly, eyes still locked on each other.

“Show me,” Justin whispered, smiling when Brian closed the distance between them once more and met his mouth in another kiss.

And the older man showed him indeed. For the rest of the night, no more words were spoken. Only actions. And the actions spoke louder than any words could have as far as Justin was concerned.

Brian led him to his bedroom, gently led him to the bed and helped undress the younger man, before undressing himself. The whole time they were touching as if their connection would be broken the second they stopped touching. Hands were roaming, mouths crushed and fought for dominance while feelings got deeper and deeper.

After making out for what felt like forever, Brian moved his body down and made Justin gasp as he left tender kisses all over his chest, his stomach and then down to his groin. When he gently kissed Justin's dick before taking it into his mouth and starting to give Justin one of the best blowjobs he had ever had, the younger man felt as if he was in heaven. He came on a wave of ecstasy and shouted Brian's name over and over as he rode his orgasm.

After Justin had come, Brian gently continued kissing his way down and moved his tongue towards his goal for the night, Justin's tight asshole. He started licking around, gently teasing the opening with his tongue before he started slipping his tongue in and out of that tight tunnel, giving Justin a rim job he would never forget while effectively preparing him for the main event.

After using some lube and his fingers to finish preparing Justin, Brian was happy and slipped on a condom. He allowed Justin to coat his dick with lube as well, moaning at the touch of the skilled hands of his blond artist.

When they were ready, Justin raised his legs to Brian's shoulders and Brian lined up his cock at Justin's entrance. And then the moment came and he slid in.

Once again Justin felt as if he had just been transported to heaven, feeling filled and complete with Brian inside of him. Brian's hands were gently caressing Justin's cheek, their gazes locked the whole time Brian made love to Justin. And it was making love. This was not a wild, frenzied fuck. This was lovemaking. Justin knew it just as he knew his own name.

Soon after they both reached their climax and came with each other's names on their lips when their orgasms rocked their bodies.

This time Brian was still present enough to pull out of Justin and remove the condom himself. He shortly left the bedroom to get a cloth and to clean up Justin who had come all over his stomach, before he climbed back into his bed again, pulling the younger man close.

Justin smiled as he felt Brian's broad chest against his back, his arms securely tightened around Justin's upper body, holding him close and in place.

No, Brian might not have used any words, but Justin had heard the message loud and clear anyway.

Brian still loved him and their lovemaking had meant the same to the older man that it had meant to him.

With that thought in mind and a sunshine smile on his face, Justin slowly drifted off.