Chapter 26

“I don't think I have anything here that we can use for breakfast. Maybe we can head out and get something downtown,” Brian suggested as he moved back into his bedroom.

He had a towel wrapped around his waist and small droplets of water from their shower together still ran down his body as he made his way over to the bed looking at the mess they had made earlier. He would definitely have to change the sheets.

“Hmmmm-mmmm,” Justin hummed as he followed Brian into the room, just wearing a towel around his waist himself. “Still only poppers and beer in your fridge?” He asked jokingly.

“I just never have breakfast at home. I usually grab something on the way to the office,” Brian replied, before he turned to Justin with a frown. “Do poppers still exist?”

“I honestly don't know,” Justin replied. “Haven't you heard? I am respectable now. All grown up, raising a child.” He chuckled then grabbed his clothes from the floor where they had landed the night before and made a face when he smelled them. “Or we can head back to my place and eat there, allowing me to get a change of clothes. Gus should be back later anyway and I am sure he would be happy to see you.”

The mention of his son made Brian stop in his tracks which Justin immediately noticed. “Brian?”

He noticed how the older man tensed up and noticed the rigid set of his shoulders. “Hey, you okay?”

Brian shook his head slowly, then turned to Justin with a frown on his face. “What will we tell him?”

“Who? Gus?”

When Brian nodded, Justin frowned. He hadn't really thought about Gus much if he was honest which probably didn't speak well of him. He had been so caught up in his feelings for Brian and their actions of the previous night that Gus hadn't really been in his thoughts much.

“The truth?” He suggested, resting a hand on Brian's shoulder. “He's old enough now. I am sure he'll understand. He'll probably be very excited.”

“Won't it give him the wrong idea?” Brian frowned as he moved over to the edge of the bed and plopped down on it, running a hand through his wet hair.

“The wrong idea?”

“I mean... aren't there decisions we should be making first? Shouldn't we figure out this whole thing between us before we get Gus involved?”

Justin considered Brian's words and knew that he had a point. So far they had agreed that they wanted to be in each other's lives and wanted to be partners, but nothing much beyond that. They hadn't talked about anything beyond the fact that they loved each other and needed to be in each other's lives. There had been no talk about their living situation for example. Would they stay living apart as they were now? Would they move in together? If yes, where? In his house? Here, in Brian's apartment? A completely different place? Justin knew that it was way too early for thoughts like that, but those would be the things Gus would be asking and he would have a right to know the answers only that they didn't even know them themselves. They would need time to figure out this new relationship between them and would need time to make these decisions. They couldn't just jump back into things like before, too much had changed and needed to be taken into consideration. As much as Justin wished it wasn't like that, he knew that it was the truth and that Brian was probably right. There were things they needed to figure out first before they could tell Gus.

“I guess you're right,” Justin finally agreed. He moved over to the bed as well, kneeling down in front of Brian. “Maybe we should give it a bit more time before we tell him anything.”

“I am sorry... I guess this is not what you wanted,” Brian mumbled, hanging his head.

“Don't be sorry. Yeah, I guess I wouldn't mind shouting from the rooftops how much I love you,” Justin chuckled and was glad when he saw Brian smile in amusement as well, “but you're right. We need to figure this out between the two of us first. I'll still have enough time to shout it from the rooftops then,” Justin smirked, smiling when Brian pulled him up, then leant back on the bed and pulled him down with him into a kiss.

“Never stop making me laugh. Promise me that,” Brian whispered into the kiss, his eyes dancing with amusement.

“I promise,” Justin whispered, gently kissing Brian back.

He then rested his head on Brian's shoulder, just enjoying being close to Brian like that again. Yes, their sex was fantastic, but for Justin it wasn't always about the sex. These moments, these tender, quiet moments between them had been something he had missed just as much if not even more than the sex when Brian had been gone.

After a couple of minutes of just enjoying the moment, they both sat up again, ready to get dressed, so they could finally start their day.

Justin was just slipping on his briefs when he stopped in his tracks, caught off guard by the sight of Brian's naked body in front of him. Yes, he had seen Brian's naked body before, but the last times he had been too caught in the moment, had been too caught up in them having sex to really pay attention and this was really the first time he gave the older man the once-over. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help his eyes landing on the scars that now covered Brian's torso.

Yes, even in his passion Justin hadn't been able to ignore those scars, the scars the doctors in the hospital had said were the result of torture that Brian had been subjected to in Gilead, but he hadn't really allowed himself to think about them and to focus on them. And now his eyes were just drawn to the scars that covered a lot of Brian's upper body. Some of them were just small, like small pins of a needle, others were bigger and up to several inches long. Justin knew that Brian also had scars on his legs, but so far he hadn't really allowed himself to think about the origins of those scars. And now, now that he was really looking at them for the first time, he couldn't help but wonder what Brian had really been through in Gilead while they had been apart.

“Hey, you okay?” Brian asked him now when he noticed that Justin was still only in his briefs but had made no movements to continue getting dressed.

Justin noticed the immediate moment when Brian realised what he was staring at. He could see how tense Brian got, could see the tension spread all through the body he loved so much and he wasn't surprised when Brian lowered his gaze and immediately grabbed his shirt as if to quickly cover up the scars on his body.

“Don't,” Justin said quietly, waking up from his stupor and reaching for Brian's hand, effectively stopping him from putting on the shirt. “Don't,” he said again as he raised his eyes to meet Brian's.

His heart almost broke at what he saw there. Pain, fear, but most of all insecurity. Justin knew that Brian had always been proud of his body, had lived a very healthy life to keep the body he had, knowing that all of gay Pittsburgh envied him for it or wanted to have his body. His image as the Stud and his body had always been a wall of protection Brian had built around himself and Justin could only imagine what Brian had to feel like with that wall gone. And then something clicked in his brain. Something that he hadn't really given any thought to before but that made sense now.

“That's why you didn't take any trick home, isn't it?” He asked, his voice hardly above a whisper. Yes, Brian had always tricked in bars and clubs, but he had also always taken tricks home to spend the night. It had been how Justin had first gotten fucked by Brian. Of course Brian might have changed or might not have felt like taking a trick home last night, but deep down Justin knew that the real reason why Brian had returned home alone could be found in the scars on his naked body.

“I know it's not much to look at,” Brian gave back, his voice sounding cold and nonchalant about it. “So why show it?”

And Justin knew immediately what Brian was really saying. A quick fuck in the backroom, a quick blowjob in the backroom, neither required Brian to get naked or undressed, but taking a trick home, having sex in his home and bed, it would be rather unconventional not to get undressed which would mean revealing the scars on his body.

“Oh Brian,” Justin started, but was stopped by Brian's harsh voice interrupting him right away.

“I don't need your pity, so fucking keep it to yourself!”

Justin wasn't detered by Brian's harsh words and ran his hands over one particular nasty scar on Brian's ribcage, gently caressing it as he looked at Brian from sad eyes. “Will you tell me how you got them?”

“It doesn't matter,” Brian bit out, his eyes speaking of insecurity and pain more than anything else.

“It matters to me,” Justin whispered, feeling an intense sadness run through him.

Brian had always acted like his pain wasn't worth anyone's attention, like he could deal with everything himself and Justin knew that that wasn't true. At the end of the day Brian was just human as well and just like everyone else needed support as well. Only that Brian hated admitting that because to him it seemed like admitting weakness, something his upbringing had taught him he couldn't afford. Justin knew exactly where Brian's reaction came from and why he was reacting the way he was, but he wanted to know anyway. He loved Brian, cared about him and he wanted to share his pain. Wanted to help him share the burden.

When Brian tried to turn away from Justin's touch, Justin just followed the movement, always staying in Brian's line of sight.

“You matter to me,” he whispered, leading his hand up to gently caress Brian's cheek. Their eyes were still locked, speaking of the pain they both felt right now. “At the hospital...when they told me that you were alive...they told me that you had been...tortured,” Justin said, struggling to get the words out. He wasn't surprised when Brian closed his eyes against the pain and memory that word brought. It pained him as well, but Justin knew that this was important. It was important for Brian and it was important for them and their future. He just hoped that Brian would understand that as well.

“They... they said that your body showed signs of torture and...I...my mind came up with the most horrific images. And just imagining that... that any of what I might have imagined might have actually happened to you...No, I don't feel pity for you, Brian. Quite on the contrary. I feel awe. I am in absolute awe of your strength because... if any of what my mind came up with is true... I know I would be a mess and yet... here you are, taking whatever life throws your way. You have made it here, you have started a company, have fought for your son, have taken whatever shit I have thrown your way and... the whole time you had to deal with the memory of this as well,” Justin whispered, a single tear running down his face now as he rested his fingertips on the angry scar.

“I feel no pity for you, I am in absolute awe,” he said quietly, letting go of Brian's cheek and taking his hand instead, giving it a supportive squeeze. “I hope that one day... one day you might trust me enough again to tell me what happened because... the thought of you being all alone with these memories, it breaks my heart.”

Justin leaned in, closing the distance between his lips and Brian's, glad when Brian didn't hesitate and leaned in as well. They kissed gently for a minute, before Justin pulled back, looking at Brian from teary eyes. “Maybe one day you will let me help you like you helped me when I needed it after Prom,” he whispered, giving Brian's hand another squeeze and gently wiping away the tear that now ran down the older man's face.

Justin knew that he had said his piece and that everything else was now up to Brian. He leaned in for another gentle kiss, then moved away to get dressed. He watched as Brian played around with the shirt in his hands, obviously fighting an inner war with himself.

For a second Justin wondered if maybe he had done the wrong thing by saying what he had said, but then again he knew that Brian had needed to hear what Justin had to say. And he knew that in the long run this was something they would have to talk about. Maybe not today, not next week, but at one point they would have to talk about what had happened to each of them in the last couple of years when they had been separated. Otherwise he wasn't sure how they were supposed to have a future. He just hoped that Brian saw it the same way.

When he heard Brian's voice start speaking haltingly, Justin felt beyond surprised. He hadn't expected Brian to reply anything to what he had said, he had expected Brian to just ignore that the last five minutes had happened until he was ready to say anything more on the topic. Never would Justin have expected him to be ready that quickly, but maybe Brian had needed someone to listen to him for a long time already and had just needed the right push from the right person.

In any case, Justin immediately made his way over, led Brian to the bed and sat down with him, taking his hand between his own, holding it tight in a gesture of silent support.

“They...they took me to the local police station and started interrogating me right away. I didn't really know if you and Gus had gotten away and could just pray and hope that you had before they had noticed you as well. During the whole interrogation, I made it seem like it had just been me on my own and I hoped that they believed me and didn't know any better. They pushed me around, had fun beating me for being a traitor to Gilead and all that shit and I think it gave them a kick to point out that I would be dead by the next day. That I would be executed for deserting Gilead. I just hoped and prayed all day that you and Gus had made it across the border and... when I didn't hear anything about them finding you or arresting anyone else, I thought that you must have made it. I... then started making my peace with whatever was going to happen to me only that.... during the next night...he showed up...,” Brian stopped, taking a deep breath.

“Michael?” Justin asked, not really feeling surprised that he would be involved in whatever sorry tale Brian had to tell.

Brian just nodded before he went on. “He...he managed to get the execution halted and got me into some camp close to Washington, close to where he was. He... he had this sick sense of happiness about us being in the same place. He went on and on about us finally being together again, as if the years before hadn't happened at all...”

Justin squeezed Brian's hand, showing him that he was there and listening.

“They started interrogating me again and... this time... he got his party friends to help... They would hit me over and over again, though he would always make sure that they wouldn't touch my face. He said he had always liked my face and it would be a pity if something happened to my face. They got frustrated quickly when their beatings didn't get them anywhere. Though really, he should have known better... It never worked for Jack, why would he think it would work for them? I had experienced worse growing up and pretty much didn't care what they did to me, knowing that as long as you and Gus were safe, nothing would matter. And then... he came and joined the interrogation...”

“He?” Justin frowned, not quite sure who Brian was refering to.

“Your father... Had a bone to pick with me for making his precious golden boy gay and making him the laughing stock of the party...”

Justin gasped and felt his hand tighten around Brian's even more. He still didn't say anything though, knowing that this was Brian's story.

“He told me that they had caught you and Gus... that they knew I hadn't been on my own. That they knew we had been together when they had found the loft abandoned and me on that cliff. Said they had started searching in the river for you the minute they had seen me on the cliff and had gotten to you and Gus before you could make it across the border. He... he got off on telling me all these things they would do to you and Gus... were doing to you and Gus...How they were re-educating Gus and making him a good Gilead boy. How he was now living with Craig and his wife as their son and how it was only fair for him to take my son after I had taken his from him... How they had gotten to you and gotten you to beg for your life before... before they... executed you....”

Brian broke down then, tears running down his face unchecked, sobs wrecking his body. All Justin could do was hold the man close, hold him tight and whisper to him over and over that he was okay, that he was there and that they were fine.

It took long before Brian calmed down enough again to continue with his story. “He... he had this sick glee on his face when he told me how they had shot you...executed you for being the traitor that you were... And every day... Day after day they would tell me new details of your last minutes... of your last moments with Gus... of Gus begging to be left with you before they took him away and then they would tell me how much Gus now hated me... how much he had changed and supported Gilead... It went like that for months. Months on end. Maybe even years... They would just keep telling me these stories to torture me... to hurt me... saying that it was the least I deserved for being the deviant I was...”

Brian sniffed, before he looked up at Justin, meeting his eyes. “And... I believed them... Why wouldn't I? Someting inside of me... it just shut down... I don't know, like I snapped. Nothing mattered anymore... My brain just shut down and... I don't think they knew what to do with me anymore. They still kept beating me for sport, but I was mostly apathetic by that point... Your father... he lost interest in me when... when he wouldn't get a reaction from me anymore and I think... he just moved on to somewhere else...but Michael... he was always there... every day...Even though I didn't react to anything they were doing or saying to me, I still heard them and... every day he would tell me how I needed to snap out of it. Needed to get over it. How you had just been a piece of ass that was now gone and how it was better that way. How he had made a deal for us to be together one day... how I just needed to snap out of it and then he would make sure that we could be together the way we had always wanted to... When I wouldn't show any reaction... he brought in these doctors. He... he had them 'treat' me, he called it. To make me better, but... all I remember them doing was hurt me more.”

Justin couldn't help but wonder how delusional Michael must have been to think that Brian would ever end up with him. Yes, at one point they had been friends, but never more than that. There had been absolutely zero interest on Brian's part for anything beyond friendship and maybe loving Michael like a brother.

“Over time, they would take me to his office every day, so he could see me and check on me and... they became less and less careful around me, thinking that I had completely lost it by that point. I knew that most of the guards couldn't understand why I was still around, why Michael would keep me at the camp and would demand to see me every day, but I guess it was a blessing in disguise...”

“How?” Justin asked quietly, when Brian didn't go on after a while.

“One day they took me to Michael's office, but he wasn't there yet and they left me alone, thinking that I had lost it anyway and wasn't any harm which for the most part was true, but... when they left me there... they didn't count on me seeing the one thing I was never supposed to see...,” Brian couldn't help but smile slightly as he remembered that day. “There was a file on Michael's desk and... from where they left me, I could see that it had your name on it...And... I didn't quite know why they would have a file for you if you had already died years ago. That one thought made it through all the fog in my brain. All I could think was how that didn't make any sense and... I took the file and … it had these newspaper articles about you. About your career in Canada. The file said that you were in Toronto with Gus and... I knew then that I needed to get out of there and needed to get to Canada myself.”

Justin frowned, not sure what to make of that information. Why would they have a file about him and his life in Canada?

“When Michael came into the office, I confronted him. God, you should have seen his scared little ass. He hadn't expected any reaction from me at all and here I was tearing him a new one for having lied to me about you and Gus. Of course... me attacking someone that high up in the party didn't go over well with the guards, so... they punished me for it... They would put me in solitary confinement, would starve me, would hit me, would come to me at night and would knive me. They always made sure to keep whatever they were doing away from my face, so that no bruises or scars would show on my face during inspections, but... the rest of my body... they made it clear how they felt about me attacking their precious party friend.”

Brian pointed to a small scar that looked like a dot. He had several of those all over his upper body. “Michael had this friend in the guards... a right asshole and.... he would come in with his cigarettes and when he was done smoking, he would use me as the ashtray....”

He then pointed towards another scar on his chest, the one on his ribcage that Justin had tenderly caressed earlier.

“One time I had enough of him using me like his personal ashtray and I kicked him in his balls. He didn't like that. He pulled a knife and would knife me again and again with it.”

“He couldn't hide the injuries then because he almost killed me. It's how I got this,” Brian said as he pointed to the scar on his cheek. “They took me to the camp hospital and he never bothered me again afterwards. Apparently Michael was furious or so the doctors said and he had him transferred to be a guard in one of the mines. Things got better then, but only slightly... The guards still didn't like me and couldn't understand why I was kept alive and received such special treatment from Michael. They would still punish me whenever Michael wasn't around or in ways he couldn't see...”

Justin nodded, wiping away the tears on his face that were the result of Brian's tale.

“The whole time I was looking for a way out. Now that I knew that you and Gus were still alive and well, I knew that I needed to get out of there and needed to get to Canada. It was like my whole life had purpose again. Whatever the guards did to me, whatever bullshit Michael spouted, it didn't matter. Now I knew that you and Gus were well and I knew that I needed to find a way to get to you. I think Michael knew deep down how dangerous it had been that I had seen the information about you and he kept away from me more and more. I... I only saw him about once a month, if at all, afterwards, not that I am complaining. I was glad not to have to listen to his bullshit any longer...”

Justin could understand the sentiment and nodded. He squeezed Brian's hand in his, his voice emotional when he spoke. “How did you get away?”

“Time just passed and I honestly couldn't tell you if they kept me in solitary confinement for months or years or how long... It was this dark, windowless room and the only people I got to see were the guards when they checked that I was still alive or brought me food. The whole time, I was thinking about how to get out of there, knowing that there was almost no chance to make it out alive. There were a ton of guards just on the floor for the solitary confinement cells, not even talking about the guards around the camp. I mean... these camps... they are protected better than prisons and... I finally realised that my only way out was Michael.”

“Michael?”

“He was so high up, they would do whatever they had to to protect him. And that was my only chance. I...I just had to find the right moment. Every time he came to see me, I was wondering if that was the moment, but it never was the right moment until that final day when...when he came that bit too close. He usually stayed at the door with guards behind him while I was shackled to the wall, but this time... for some reason he came into the room and came close enough for me to grab him. I started choking him and threatened to kill him if they wouldn't step back. At first the guards didn't move and I thought that maybe I had miscalculated the situation and that that would be it...but then Michael, the fucking bastard involuntarily helped me by going into a panic. He started screaming, as well as he could while being choked by me, for them to step back and do as I demanded. When they stepped back, I got his gun and ordered him to open the shackles. I then used him as a personal shield, the whole time holding the gun to his head until we had made it out of the building.”

Justin listened to Brian's tale with rapt attention.

“I ordered him to get into his car and ordered him to drive North towards Buffalo. We were on the road for hours and everytime we got to a checkpoint, I would just point the gun at his head and they would let us pass. The whole time he was trying to talk me out of it and I swear to God I would have knocked him out if I hadn't needed him to pass those checkpoints.”

At that point Justin couldn't help but chuckle, quite happy when Brian turned to him with a small smile on his face as well. Yeah, he definitely understood the urge to knock out Michael. He had felt that urge many times before himself.

“When we got to Buffalo, I made him take me to Unity Island. I didn't really know what to do, I hadn't really thought my plan through in all detail which I know sounds crazy if you think about the fact that I had nothing better to do than work out this plan for years, but basically, my plan had been to use Michael to get me to the border and that was it. How to cross that border? No idea. So the only thing I could think of was Unity Island. It had worked for you and Gus and I could only hope that it would work for me as well.”

Brian took a deep breath, his voice now sounding surprisingly strong. “We made it to the cliff and I knew that I would only have minutes before we would be surrounded. I didn't really think and just used the gun to knock Michael out and before he had even hit the ground, before I could even see police come up to us, I had jumped off the cliffs into the river. I swam like crazy, my only thought being that I couldn't have them shoot me this close to making it. My lungs were burning, but I didn't care. I... I don't know if they even shot at me or not... All I can remember is swimming and swimming like I have never swum before. I... I was weak, I was malnourished and had no endurance at all, but I swear I've never swum like that before in all my life. And then... then I felt soil under my feet and I knew that I was in Canada. I knew that they couldn't shoot at me when I had reached Canadian soil. I... I've never been that relieved in my whole life...”

“God...Brian...I don't know what to say,” Justin whispered, still not letting go of the hand in his own.

They were silent for the longest time, before Justin turned to Brian with a question in his eyes. “Where did you get my phone number? They said they found you with my phone number.”

Brian ran a hand through his hair, before he chuckled. “On my way to Toronto... there was this lady at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. I probably scared the shit out of her, but... I asked her to google your name. I practically begged her to look you up. I don't know if she was feeling sorry for me or if she was scared that I might kill her if she didn't do it, but she did it... She looked you up and found your phone number.”

“I am so sorry you had to go through all of that,” Justin whispered, resting his head on Brian's shoulders. “And... that it was my father who... Fuck, that's so sick.”

Brian just nodded, resting his head against Justin's. “But it's over now, it's all in the past.”

Justin knew that he should be silent, he knew that Brian had already talked more than he had probably wanted to, but he just couldn't help himself. “Those nightmares,” he started, not surprised when he felt Brian tense right away. “Are they about those guards?”

Brian stayed quiet for the longest time, so long that Justin even thought that he would not be getting a reply at all, but then Brian's broken voice shattered his whole world. “They're about you... how they execute you... I... I see you dying over and over...”

Justin couldn't hold back his tears any longer at that point and threw his arms around Brian, pulling the crying man closer. He held him tight, trying to comfort him as best as he could. He knew how hard it had been for him when he had been told that Brian had died in Gilead. He knew how his whole life had fallen apart thinking that Brian had died and he could only imagine what that message out of his father's mouth had done to Brian, especially seeing how Brian had sacrificed everything to save Justin and Gus only to then be told that it had been for nothing and they had been caught and in Justin's case even killed anyway. He knew the pain Brian had gone through and could only imagine how hard those nightmares had to be on the man in his arms. At least he had never known how Brian had supposedly been killed and his fantasy had never tortured him with pretend images of Brian dying. His fucking father and Michael had known exactly what buttons to push and how to hit Brian where it hurt him the most. They had known that Justin had always been Brian's weak point and had hit him where it had hurt the most by painting the most horrific image Brian could imagine to begin with and repeating it over and over and keeping it in his memory at all times.

“I am here... I am alive, Brian... I am here with you and we are fine. They didn't win. They will never win,” Justin whispered over and over again, holding Brian tight and trying to comfort him as best as he could.

He had no idea how long they stayed like that, if it had been minutes or hours, but they stayed in each other's arms, crying for the injustice and the pain they had both gone through at the hands of people who were supposed to love them in a country that had once been their home.

Their silence was only interrupted when Justin's phone started ringing. Justin was tempted to just ignore it, but when it started ringing again and again, he knew that he should probably at least check who was trying to call him. It seemed urgent.

He grabbed his phone and frowned when he saw that it was Gus who had tried to call him several times. When he opened the message the boy had left him, he cursed.

“Shit.”

Brian slowly lifted his head and looked at Justin from red, puffy eyes. “What?”

“Gus is home. He's looking for me.”

Brian nodded, immediately knowing what went through Justin's head. “Go home,” he said quietly, his voice surprisingly strong.

“Why don't you come along? Have dinner with us,” Justin suggested, not wanting to leave Brian alone after the emotional day they had had and after everything that Brian had shared with him earlier. “Gus would love to see you.”

Brian slowly pulled back, getting out of Justin's embrace, looking at him from eyes that showed that he had already made a decision. “Not today... He shouldn't see me like this.”

“Brian,” Justin started, but was stopped by Brian's lips on his own.

“Go home,” Brian said quietly when the kiss broke. “I'll be fine. I promise.”

“I really don't want to leave you alone right now,” Justin said, looking at Brian from concerned eyes. “Let me call Daphne and see if she can watch Gus tonight.”

The older man just shook his head, then got up and finally put on the shirt that had been in his hands hours ago. “I think I want to be alone right now.”

“I don't know,” Justin said uncertainly, making it obvious that he didn't think much of the idea.

“Please... I need to be alone right now,” Brian said, meeting Justin's gaze head on. “I promise, I'll be fine, but... I just need some time to... process everything and... just...”

Justin watched the older man and could see that Brian had made up his mind. “Are you sure?”

“I am not going back on what we decided earlier,” Brian said quietly, taking Justin's hand in his own and pulling him up from the bed. “I still want you...us...this... I just need some time alone right now to make sense of everything going on in my head. I'll be fine.”

“I don't like this,” Justin huffed, as he grabbed his own shirt and pulled it over his head.

Brian chuckled as he made his way through the room, got Justin's pants and handed them to him. “I know and believe me, it does me good to know that. Just give me tonight and let me try to muddle through this on my own. Please.”

Justin finally nodded. “Okay.” He then walked over and gave Brian another kiss. “Can I at least call you later?”

“I expect you to,” Brian said, kissing the younger man back, before he led him towards the door of his apartment and watched him leave.