What am I doing here? The thought swirled round and round in Justin's head.

It was a huge mistake to accept Sap's offer to be a pretty boy for decoration. Heck, it was a mistake to accept to work for him in the first place, but Justin was tired of depending on Brian.

Ever since Justin had been pushed in Brian's arms by his homophobic father, leaving him no choice but to live with the man he loved and who'd never return his feelings, Brian gave him pocket money, paid for whatever he needed for school, and his latest handout offer was to pay Justin's tuition. That was the last straw.

Justin couldn't accept anymore of Brian's generosity.

The financial situation he found himself in made Justin hate his father a little more. As if Brian wasn't doing already enough for him, he shouldn't be subjected to pay thousands of dollars for Justin's education. Justin wasn't Brian's anything as far as he knew. They got along pretty well, they were sort of friends, and they fucked a lot, but other than that there was nothing else to link them. Justin tried to remind himself of that ever so often, when his feelings for Brian got the best of him.

At the moment, Justin thought back on Brian's words from Emmett's retirement party. Sometimes a man knows when to accept help. If he was man enough, he'd had never accepted Sap's deal.

The other boy caved too fast to follow these questionable looking men. That was definitely not juice in the glass they'd offered him.

Brian was right about what sleazes Sap had for friends.

Gary Sapperstein came downstairs, stopping next to Justin. "Why don't you take your shirt off?"

"What for?" Justin frowned, feeling more and more antsy about being there.

"It's why you're here, remember?" Sap sneered.

"Decoration." Justin nodded, knowing full well what he had agreed to, but never had expected such a crazy situation. He had to find a way out. Fast.

"That was the deal," Gary insisted.

Reluctantly, Justin pulled his sleeveless top off, catching his companion eyeing him appreciatively. It made him sick.

"That's better."

"Our little friend here looks like he could use a drink. Why don't we, uh, offer him something?" A creep appeared at Justin's side, leering at him.

"Later," Gary told him sharply, communicating with his eyes that it might be more difficult than usual to intoxicate Justin.

He decided to take matters in his hands, offering Justin his joint. "Go ahead. It's great shit."

Justin took a pull, fighting the urge to cough. Not even Brian had such strong drugs. These must have cost a pretty penny, but being the owner of Babylon made Sapperstein a wealthy man.

"Oh, what's the matter, too strong?"

"Yeah," Justin admitted meekly.

"I have to play host. Enjoy the roach." Gary departed, leaving Justin near the wall with the smoke between his lips. In no time he'd be putty in their hands.

As he smoked slowly, Justin tried to find reason within him to leave the damn party already, but he needed the money.

So maybe some of the guests would try to feel him up? He got felt up on a regular basis on the dancefloor at Babylon, especially as of late, since he'd become a go-go boy.

The weed was stronger than anything else he'd ever smoked and it went to his head fast. Not knowing better, he also accepted a line of coke from Sapperstein some time later.

Justin had a distant memory of himself warning Brian of taking drugs from anyone besides a doctor or pharmacist, and there he was, snorting coke from a person he barely knew. What worried him was the fact he'd done it at Babylon too. And Brian had even commented on it the other day.

As Justin tried to clear his head and find enough power inside him to depart before it was too late, Sap returned to his side.

"You look kind of thirsty."

Justin eyed him through a haze. "Huh."

"Here, drink." Sap handed him a glass similar to what the other kid had drunk before he left with those guys.

"Thanks." Too high to think properly, Justin accepted the glass. Maybe it would quench his thirst.

"You haven't seen my place. C'mon, I'll show you around."

Unwillingly, Justin was lead to a large room. Sap stood behind him, breathing into his ear, making his skin crawl and stomach turn.

"He looks like he's having a good time." The boy from earlier was strapped on a sling with various other guys around him, penetrating his holes. He was so out of it, he wasn't even fighting back. "You ever been in a sling?" Justin shook his head mechanically.

"Oh, you'd love it," one of Sap's friends purred.

Justin was pushed closer.

"Come on, why don't you give it a try?"

The man approached, groping him from behind, while Sap stood in front of him, slowly working his pants unbuttoned.

"I don't… I don't want to." Justin squirmed weakly. More groping. He tried to escape from the man's grasp, his heart beating in his throat. "I don't want to."

They didn't pay any attention to his pleas, so with the last strength inside him, Justin kicked a leg toward Sap. "Come on, it's just I said that I don't to!" Justin cried out. His sneaker made contact with Sap's jaw.

"Shit! You broke one of my caps." Sap cupped his mouth, seeing blood on his hand.

"I better go," Justin slurred from his spot on the floor where he'd fallen.

"Do you know how much these cost me?' Sap snapped, enraged.

"I gotta go." Justin got up, swaying.

"You're goddamn right," Sap hissed. "And don't bother coming back to work."

As Justin stumbled out of the room, trying to find the exit, he heard Sap's friends asking him worried, "God you okay, Gary?"

On his way out, Justin had enough presence of mind to grab his shirt. He tugged it over his head, stumbling out the door with people gaping at him. He hurried down the street, keeping a hand on the building's wall for balance.

No matter how many times he'd gotten high with Brian, he'd never felt like that.

Justin stopped three blocks away, sitting on the side of the road, taking deep breaths. He refused to think of what could have happened in there if he couldn't escape on time. The mere thought of Sap's hands on his dick made Justin's stomach turn.

He vomited violently, before getting up on shaky legs. He had to get home.

It was definitely past three. Brian must be worried.

Brian.

He's been right all along.

Justin wished he could turn back time. If only he'd been smart enough to listen to Brian. The man knew Sap better, he knew what he was capable of.

After walking in zig-zag and leaning against every available street lamp and building, Justin finally reached the loft. It took him five tries to get the key in the lock at the door downstairs, then in the elevator, he could imagine how worried Brian would get when he saw the state Justin was in.

The loft's door was locked, and after dropping the keys twice, Justin unlocked and stepped inside.

It was too dark and too quiet.

Brian wasn't home.

Justin had no idea how to feel.

Maybe he was still out with his friends. Or wetting his dick in some unknown hole in the Backroom of Babylon.

Babylon…Justin got sidetracked. How would he ever be able to step into that place?

As he stumbled to the bathroom, knocking over a bar stool and tripping over a pair of his sneakers, he arrived in front of the toilet where he knelt. He dry heaved, deciding the drugs were better out than in.

Water. He remember Brian drinking lots of water when he was high.

The refrigerator seemed miles away, so Justin crawled to the bathroom sink and turned his head so the tap would aim to his mouth. He drank until he was sure he'd explode, then lay on the cool tile floor.

The room was spinning.

Where is Brian? He wondered aimlessly.

For the first time in his life, he truly needed Brian. But as he thought better of it, Justin decided it was better that way.

Brian would go into one of his angry moods, probably deciding to track Sap and kill him. It wasn't like he loved Justin or anything, he was very protective of him.

Justin cracked a small smile as he stared at the pipes under the sink. Brian loved him, so much, and he had no idea.

Feeling remotely better, Justin changed into his comfortable sweat pants and t-shirt, then crawled to the bed where he snuggled under the blankets, stuffing his face into Brian's pillow. He slept fitfully and was up after only a couple of hours. He was drenched in sweat after having dreamt of sleazy hands grabbing him.

Justin rolled on his side, patting around for Brian, but he still hadn't arrived home.

What happened to him?

He trudged his way to grab a cold bottle of water and drank half of it, before sitting at his computer. Maybe working on his school projects would take his mind off of the night's events. The drugs had taken a toll on his gimp hand, but he was willing to succeed, so mostly sustaining his right hand with his left, he drew away.

He was in the middle of completing one of his projects when Brian returned, looking rumpled. Had he slept at some trick's place? It was so unlike him.

"What happened to you last night," Justin demanded, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.

"Don't ask."

"We have an agreement," Justin said lightly.

Brian smirked, leaning against the counter to take his boots off. "Home by three or my balls turn into pumpkins. Believe me, you didn't miss a thing. How was the party?" He asked, mildly curious.

Justin shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, incredibly tedious. I left early."

"Bet the Sap didn't like that."

"Fuck the Sap," Justin muttered, scratching his ear nervously. "Anyway, I quit."

Brian tried not to let his surprise show as he undressed and got into bed.

"I decided that working all night and going to school during the day was counterproductive to my goals. I need to prioritize, concentrate on my art. So I'd like to take you up on your offer if it still stands." Justin stood awkwardly at the foot of the steps.

Brian made a show to check under the covers, before confirming. "It still stands."

Justin smiled, advancing to the bed. "We'll need to discuss the terms of the loan interest, repayment schedule. And we should have something in writing."

"Of course."

"Mhmmm."

"So what made you change your mind?" Brian asked curiously, rolling on top of Justin.

"A man needs to know when to ask for help."

Justin turned Brian over, ending up on top of him, leaning for a kiss. Brian reached for a condom, but Justin stole it from his hand. He had no idea what gave him the courage to do it, maybe there were yet some drugs left in his system or he was simply high on Brian, but he decided it was worth a try.

Brian gave him a long look, as if asking what got into him, but whatever he saw in Justin's eyes, made his resolve broke. Maybe it was the slight panic, the need to feel like a man, or simply Brian's long night in the police cell, he had no idea what made him cave.

He didn't make it easy for Justin, though, he tried to warn him through looks until Justin won, pushing Brian on his stomach.

It wasn't the first time they'd adventured in that direction, but the only other time had been for educational proposes only, so Brian could see if he'd been a good teacher for Justin.

Justin pushed his sleep pants down his ass, rolled the lubed condom on his dick, then testing Brian with only a finger, he slid into his boyfriend. He kept it slow, knowing it must hurt for Brian since he wasn't used to having something up his ass, besides a dildo or his beloved beads.

Brian relaxed under Justin's body, pressing his face into his arm, enjoying the glorious feeling of Justin's skilled thrusts into his ass. He'd never admit it out loud, but having Justin inside him made him feel even closer to him, made the crazy tightening in his stomach even more painful.

.

.

.

Justin slumped on Brian's back, holding him tightly. It was about that time when usually Brian pulled away, but for some reason, he allowed Justin to hold him, still deep inside of him.

After a few minutes, Brian shifted. "Maybe you should throw away the condom."

Justin pulled away and tied the condom mechanically throwing it carelessly to the foot of the bed, before rolling on his side, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt overwhelmed.

Crying would make him look like a sissy.

Brian touched his shoulder, pulling him against his chest and kissing his neck. "That was some fuck," he whispered.

Justin took a shuddering breath. He couldn't even enjoy the euphoria of being back inside Brian after months. He vaguely remembered the only other time Brian had allowed him to top. Justin had managed only five pumps, before exploding with a loud shout.

"Hey, you were pretty decent. It takes skill to get to my experience," Brian teased.

Justin let an embarrassingly loud sob escape him, making Brian roll him over so they were side by side, facing each other.

"Hey, Sunshine? What's this about?" Brian stroked his cheek, eyeing him concerned.

"H-he…It was awful."

"You mean Sap's party? We covered that. You got bored."

Justin let his tears fall, rolling down his nose and onto the pillow. "Sap drugged me," he admitted in a small voice.

"What," Brian gasped, pulling Justin closer. He couldn't believe what a sleaze Sap could be. "What next? What happened?"

"They had…some other boy in a sling…they were doing things to him."

Brian tilted Justin's head so he could look into the wet, scared blue eyes. "They didn't hurt you, did they?" There was a knot in Brian's chest. He couldn't breathe.

"Not really. I sort of busted his mouth when he tried undressing me. Everything was so woozy. He gave me something. Several somethings."

"And you took it? Christ, Justin!" He sat up, running his hands through his hair.

"I seriously thought he wanted me there for decoration. So I accepted the roach. I've never tasted anything stronger."

"I bet he has top quality shit," Brian muttered, disgusted. "What else did you take?"

"Uh, a line or two of coke."

Brian glared. "You know what coke does to your brain? I hope you're done with that shit!"

"I am," Justin said hotly. "I had to go through this experience to realize you'd never endanger my life with anything we do…and I can always repay you in sexual favor for the money you give me."

Brian snorted. "I'll make you my personal sex slave," he joked.

"Then he gave me a glass of something. I was so thirsty…"

"And you drank from it."

Justin chewed on his bottom lip. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed, wrapping his arms around Brian's neck, crying into his shoulder.

"That was probably roofies."

"I felt so sick. I don't know where I got the power to escape. I kicked Sap in the mouth, knocked out a tooth or two."

Brian squeezed him tightly, kissing his forehead. "How did you get home?" He felt awful for not being there for Justin when he probably arrived home scared and needing him. He stroked Justin's head, only imagining the state his blond boy had been in the previous night.

"I walked. I think I threw up on the street at some point. I thought you were waiting for me worried. It was close to four when I arrived, I think. But then you weren't here…at some point I even fleetingly entertained the thought of you searching for me at Sap's place. Silly little me."

"Trust me, I'd have been doing exactly that if I were home and you weren't back by one!"

"One? What happened to our three o-clock rule?"

"It doesn't apply to Sap." Brian squeezed Justin even tighter, rocking them. "Fuck, Justin! He could have…"

"He didn't."

"But he could have!"

"I promise to always listen to the older and wiser," Justin whispered, pecking Brian's mouth.

"I'm too scared to think of what could have happened to you to even berate you for what you just said."

Justin chuckled a little, kissing up and down Brian's jaw. "I love you, Brian."