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Author's Chapter Notes:

(Ted does not escape being in a coma, which Justin learns from a different source.  Will Justin use Deb to track down Brian This Time?)

 

Justin should have known that things were going a little too well.  The sex was as fantastic as he remembered and like the first time, he watched, his tongue sticking out in admiration as Brian climb on the bed naked as the day he was born. The lessons he would learn that night were a refresher course and one he enjoyed reliving.  Brian was nothing if not thorough. 

 

 

 

However, his memory of the next morning changed when Justin woke up only to be rushed out so Brian could meet the guys for breakfast before having to go to the hospital.  He found out then that Ted, the guy you didn’t notice, had evidently taken someone home and was currently in a coma.  Brian gave him a searing kiss and told him he might not see him for a while before pushing him out the door. 

 

 

 

Justin racked his brain trying to remember what was going on during that time-period last time.  Ted and Emmett’s daily life hadn’t registered as much.  He felt bad that it was so long ago that he hadn't been aware of what was going on with them.  This time he planned to pay more attention.

 

His daily routine was getting up, going to school, then heading to work before heading back home.  He had thought his job at the diner was going well, but the next day, after Brian had tossed him out, Debbie cut his hours.  He really couldn't understand what he'd done to deserve it.  Kiki, it turned out, wasn’t happy.  She was having to pick up the slack.  During a slow period, Justin learned that Debbie was foisting off jobs that Justin had been doing on her.  When he questioned her as to why Kiki just shook her head and sipped at the tea, he’d handed her. 

 

Debby was off doing who knew what and Kiki was in the mood to gossip.   She told him about what the guys had been up to that morning.  "They were kind of subdued for them.  Michael was talking about how he took home this hot guy. Evidently, they were making out and the guy ended up telling Michael he had Brazilian beach parasites in his ass." 

 

Justin spit out the coke he was drinking as Kiki snickered.  It was hard enough picturing Michael with a guy much less a hot guy.  How Michael had ended up with David, who wasn’t that hot, or Ben, who was definitely hot had always puzzled him.

 

"Then Emmett said he went home with an undertaker."

 

Emmett with an undertaker wasn’t that hard to believe.  It sounded just like something Em would do.  While all that was interesting it wasn’t what Justin wanted to know.

 

 "So, what did Brian say he did?"  Justin asked pretending to be unconcerned.

 

Kiki shrugged.  "He said he’d fucked an undertaker once.  But I think he just said it to shock them.  I don’t really think they sew the mouths shut.  When Emmett pressed him, Brian said he made it an early night."


Justin did his best to hide his pleased expression. Knowing that Brian wasn’t spreading around the salacious details of the night made him feel special.


“After that, they left to check up on Teddy at the hospital.  A shame about that, Teddy’s sweet.”  With that, Kiki went back to work.


Justin’s loss of hours had him worried because he knew he was going to need more money for when his father eventually threw him out.  He knew without a doubt that his father’s attitude would not change.  Right now, he wasn't ready to rock the boat.  One thing was that he had never really been sure of was how his mother had figured out about him liking guys. 


So, he'd get up and spend his day at school and do his best this time around ignoring the jocks that made his life miserable.  While in English he listened when his teacher lectured about F. Scott Fitzgerald and the Great Gatsby, keeping his mind on the subject and didn’t draw Hobbs. 


The class that day was as boring as it usually was.  He spent his time doodling, but as a whole, he was ignoring everyone except for Daphne.  Since she was sitting next to him, he was doing a caricature of her.


So, when the teacher, Mr. Horner, asked him what yearning meant, he could relate and gave the same answer that he had last time and thought how after all these years he still yearned for Brian.   “Yearning is when you want something really badly.  Like … so bad that it hurts.”


Hobbs and one of his pals started traded punches.  Justin rolled his eyes as Mr. Horner went over and told him he would be cleaning out the athletic room.  Hobbs seemed to think that having football practice was a good reason not to.  Justin had no plans on renewing one of the worst mistakes in his life.  Hobbs could just have the fun of cleaning all on his own.  Maybe one of his buddies would help him out.


Later that day when he told Daphne about what had occurred the first time, she had a hard time believing him and Justin couldn’t blame her.  He and Chris Hobbs together was difficult to picture.


When Daphne did leave, his mother looked at her watch and asked.  “Didn’t you have art club this afternoon?”


Justin almost slapped his forehead.  He’d forgotten that he’d quit art club.  He wasn’t learning anything since all he could think about was Brian.  He wasn’t a kid anymore and didn’t feel the need to tell his mother every little change he’d gone through.


She wasn’t happy about it.  “Well, I thought you might like to know I’m going to Niketown, but you’re probably not interested in that either.” When she offered to let him drive, he couldn't resist.  After all, he did need some new clothes, and if he was lucky his mom would let him pick them out.  He planned to surprise her with his improved driving skills and had forgotten what had happened the first time. 


Things were going pretty well when she started talking about a guy she was going out with when she was twenty.  He remembered that talk and how queasy it had made him back then, so he was ready when she asked if he had a boyfriend and who Brian was. 


This time he didn't stop the car or make a run for it.  He calmly told her the truth.  No, he didn’t have a boyfriend, but he was hopeful, and Brian was someone he knew.   He also asked her how she had come by her knowledge and she admitted to looking at his sketchpad.  So much for privacy in his room.  She'd seen the pictures he'd drawn of Brian and was not happy about it.  Knowing good and well that nothing would change with his dad, he begged her not to tell him.  She, of course, promised but he knew just how good that promise was. 


Later, in telling Daphne about it, he felt pride in the fact that he hadn't run to Brian like last time.  Looking back on it he couldn’t help but be embarrassed about how stupid he’d been when he was that seventeen-year-old kid.


While he hoped that Brian would have taken him in as he had last time that wasn't what he wanted.  In his mind, he hadn't exactly figured out what he was going to do, but he didn't want a repeat of what happened last time. 


“You know you need to write all this down.  It could get confusing.  What happened when she pointed out she knew before?”


“I stopped the car and made a break for it.”

 

“Stupid,” scoffed Daphne.  “Then what?”

 

“Yeah, I figured if I found Brian, he’d know what to do and fix it.  I told you I was going to live with him.  I was gonna be with him.”


Daphne shook her head.


“I know, pretty immature.”  He batted his eyes.  “Can I borrow your car?”


“I’m grounded,” she responded moanfully.  “My mom said she’d better come home and find me reading Toni Morrison.”


“But they don’t get home until seven.  And I do beat Beloved.”


Just like that they got into Daphne’s car and drove off.


Justin directed the way to Brian’s loft.  They sat there looking at the building. 


“It doesn’t look like much,” Daphne pointed out.


“Wait until you see the inside,” Justin said.


“Do you think I will?”


“You did last time,” Justin assured her.


Just then Brian’s jeep pulled up behind them.  He got out and walked to Daphne’s car.  Bending down he looked into the passenger window. 


“Hi, Brian,” Justin nervously stated.  “This is my friend Daphne.”


Brian looked at her.  “Hi, Daphne.”  Then proceeded to ignore her.  “I’m headed to see my sonny boy.  Want to come,” he asked Justin.


Justin blinked there was no way this occurred the first time.  He wasn’t about to say no.  “Sure.”  He got out of the car and said goodbye to Daphne before climbing into the jeep.


Brian didn’t say a word as they walked to the house. As they got closer to the door Brian took hold of Justin’s hand.  He only let go to knock at the front door.  When the door opened it was answered by Lindsay with Gus in hand.


“I don’t have a lot of time.”  Brian pulled Justin in and shut the door.


She gave Justin a strange look.  “You have time to kiss your son.  What’s he doing here?”


Brian relaxed and kissed Gus’ cheek.


“Hey, honey, his bath’s ready,” Melanie said as she came down the stairs.  “Oh.  Did we know he was coming?”


Brian handed Gus off to Justin.


“No, we did not know,” he informed her.


“Well, it’d be nice if you’d call first.  As I said, his bath’s ready, so if you want me to take him up—” Melanie reached for Gus, who clung to Justin.


Brian was agitated.  “I don’t give a shit what Ted wants.  I’m not doing it, do you understand?”


Justin’s eyes widened.


“I told him you’d be this way,” Melanie muttered.


“He has a mother,” Brian spouted.

 

“Yeah, would you wish this on yours?”

 

“Oops.”  Having met Brian’s mother during their first time Justin decided to move Gus out of the line of fire.


“He has better friends,” Brian insisted.


“Well, that’s for goddamn sure,” Melanie ranted.


Gus started to whimper, and Justin bounced Gus hoping to calm him.

 

Lindsay decided to try to be a peacemaker.  “Melanie, would you please…”

 

It didn’t work.  “Look, did I barge in here at bath time?  Was that me?”  Melanie spat.


“Fuck bath time and fuck you!”  Brian yelled.  Justin covered Gus’ ears.  The little boy was looking at the fighting duo in surprise.

 

“Hey, fuck you,” Melanie yelled back.

 

 

“Just stop it, both of you,” Lindsay joined in.

 

 

Brian looked at Justin who did his best to figure out what all this was about.

 

"So, let's cut to the chase. Find somebody else. His mommy, or Michael, or Madonna. I don't care who." 

 

“But he chose you,” Lindsay tried reasoning.


“Well, he chose wrong.”


Melanie shook her head.  “Yeah, that’s what I said to him.  I said, ‘Brian’s is not the person you want responsible for your life.  He’s a selfish, narcissistic little fucking faggot!’ And let me tell you something, it’s not because you suck cock, it’s because you’re a little fucking coward!  So, go, get out, now!”


Justin was shocked.  Melanie didn’t know Brian at all.  If he hadn’t been holding Gus, he would have lit into her.


Brian stared at her, then took Gus and kissed him on his forehead before taking Justin and walking out the door.


There was so much Justin wanted to say, but he’d learned that talking didn’t work with Brian.

 

“Ted made me his POA,” Brian surprised him by saying.

 

What did Brian want him to do?  Be a pity fuck? Not that he’d mind.  “Maybe you won’t have to do anything.  I mean can you picture Ted not being around.  He’d stick around just to gripe about not being dead.”


Brian laughed.  “Thanks for being there for Gus.  Let me drop you off near your house.” 


Justin spent that night trying not to think about what he could be doing with Brian.  Instead, he thought about the way Deb had been acting lately.  Last time he’d gone to her house to find Brian only to have her call Michael.  So far, the only thing he was missing out on in his association with Deb was getting to know Vic.  Vic had always been the sane one in that family.  At least if he ever got to meet Vic, he wouldn't start with the same lies he had last time. No saying that his dad threatened to disown him and called him a big queer.  His father wasn’t even aware at that time.   That part of his past was so embarrassing to remember, though getting to make out with Brian in Michael's room had been HOT!


Lately, when the guys would come into the diner, Deb would find some reason to have him work another section.  Then Deb would constantly brag about how considerate her son was to Ted's mother.  He almost wanted to barf, while he noticed other diners having the same reaction.  


He missed the sex he wasn’t having.  Somehow, he'd have to get Brian's attention once again, because having to deal with using his right hand wasn't working.  Strangely, even with him planning on avoiding being bashed, his hand sometimes gave off phantom pain and he would find himself rubbing the area.


 


Happily, things turned out well for Ted.  Brian stopped by the Diner and asked Justin if he wanted to go with them to bring Ted home.  “Mikey and Emmett are at the Big Q picking up some food and flowers.”

 

Justin would have, but he was sure that Deb wouldn’t just let him take off.  Being invited was a big step in the right direction.

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