Warily, Justin watched as Brian stiffly seated himself behind his desk. Despite his disgust and disappointment that Brian had once again shown a complete lack of compassion or regard for human life, he knew he had crossed a line. There wasn't a doubt he would be getting the lecture of a lifetime. A part of him knew he possibly deserved it, but there was this more rebellious, and even righteous part of him that told him no matter how out of line he had been, Brian's actions had been wrong. Right now, he couldn't see any way of accepting this man for the man he seemed to be. At the very least - the man he wanted the world to believe him to be. The hope that there could be something deeper beneath the surface in this man was quickly dwindling away.

"Sit down." Brian's voice was barely audible, his eyes filled with chips of ice as he stared at the blond that hovered near the door. Did the boy actually think he could flee? Hadn't he learned anything yet? Brian watched in disbelief as Justin stood motionless. Was he scared, or was this just another one of his acts of rebellion? The former he could understand... however, if it turned out to be the latter - he wouldn't be able to control himself.

"I think I'd prefer to stand... and without a doubt, I'd feel more comfortable with some distance between us." At this point, Justin couldn't see any reason for not being blunt. He had witnessed the notorious gangster at his worst - at least, he hoped he couldn't be even more menacing. Even though he wanted to believe that, he was no longer certain that he could. Biting his lip hesitantly, unable to get Sapperstein's brother out of his mind - in particular, the look of terror in his eyes as his imminent fate had been revealed. "B-Brian... can't you please just make a phone call and stop this..."

Brian's darkening eyes instantly became black. What was wrong with this kid? Didn't he have an ounce of self-preservation? "I thought I was clear." Brian remained seated, knowing to go near the blond could have disastrous consequences. Touching him would lead them into a bout of angry sex. In some instances, that might not be such a bad thing... right now, it wasn't what most needed to happen.

Justin shrugged. "I wasn't confined to my room. I didn't see the harm."

"Didn't see the harm..." Brian's voice was hollow, there was very little inflection in his words - a sure sign this could go very badly. "Who the fuck do you think I am, Justin? No. I'll answer that. This isn't some vacation resort. You know what kind of life I live. What would possess you to interrupt a business meeting, knowing exactly how such meetings can end?"

"I wasn't thinking about that. After last night, I guess I wasn't thinking about anything." Justin looked at Brian, immediately disheartened when he saw the coldness that remained in his icy demeanor. How could he shut himself off as he did? It was like nothing had happened last night... when it had been amazing to him. Brian had actually been gentle, initiating him into his first sexual experience. Where was that man now? The burning question still remained - which man was the true Brian Kinney?

Brian looked away, then quickly back at the beautiful boy. "Last night means nothing regarding this. We fucked. It was good." He didn't miss the pain that materialized in Justin's eyes, nor did he move to alleviate it. That wasn't his way, and it wasn't what would keep him focused on the war against Gary Sapperstein. He couldn't take his eyes from that end objective. All of their lives depended on that. "It was more than good, but the point I'm trying to make is this - you don't belong in my business. I make instant decisions; I can't be distracted when it's time to make them. Your actions forced me to make one today."

"What are you saying?" Justin demanded to know. "I had nothing to do with you ordering that man to be killed. Don't even try pinning that on me!" Justin found his mind returning to the terror he had seen on the young man's face. It had been chilling. "You could take it back, Brian. Surely it's not too late."

"That's not how it works, Justin, and I don't think you're naïve enough to believe that, either."

"Why can't you just pick up the phone and tell Jackson you changed your mind? He would be the only one to know. I'm sure he wouldn't tell anyone..."

In an instant burst of uncontrollable anger, Brian's fist shot out and slammed violently on his desk, his nostrils flaring as he stared at the beautiful blond that refused to heed his warnings. "What did I just tell you about staying out of my business? I made a decision. It had nothing to do with you. This war is bigger than your little blond head can understand." Brian stood to his feet, slowly moving closer to Justin, mindful not to get close enough to touch. Surrendering to the rage that simmered in him was almost impossible to deny. "I have waited for over half of my life to have my revenge. I won't allow your humanitarian ideals to stand in my way..."

Justin stepped closer, for some reason unafraid of this savage man, when all the evidence urged him to run. He reached up and brushed the back of his hand against Brian's cheek, uncertain of why he needed to touch him; he only knew that it felt right. When he felt a muscle jerk beneath his fingertips, Justin smiled wistfully. "I don't think you are this evil monster you project yourself to be to the world. There's much more inside of your head... and your heart."

"You're a fool if you believe that..." Brian hissed, determined not to let this boy sway him. "What about what you just told me outside? You said you would never forgive me. What changed your mind?"

"I was shocked, and without a doubt upset. I didn't know what to do or say."

Brian snorted. "You seemed to be fine with your contempt at the time."

"Perhaps so." Justin couldn't deny that. He had been enraged and filled with angry disappointment. It was unfathomable to him that Brian was so uncaring of the value of human life. Despite knowing he had nothing to back it up, he genuinely believed that Brian had cause to make victims of the two men that he had witnessed him playing a hand in their demise. That didn't mean he found it to be right, or even acceptable; he just knew that it was in Brian's mind. More than anything, he wanted to know more of what was driving Brian to perpetrate these acts. He had a feeling, so much would change once he did. "Tell me why you hate Gary Sapperstein so much. I know it isn't a simple matter of territory. It's personal for you."

"Murder is always personal - in one way or another. All that matters now is that you stay out of my fucking business. We won't be done with this discussion until I am convinced you understand your position." Brian didn't like the flicker of remorse he felt when Justin touched him. The boy had no reason to trust him, or care about him in any way. He had effectively put his life on hold, threatened his father, and still, he not only gave himself to him, now he wanted to understand him as well. His responses to this mesmerizing blond continued to confound him. He didn't like confusion, nor did he ever live in such a state. It made him feel weak... and he liked that even less. "It's a story from long ago. It has no bearing on the here and now."

Equally determined to stay on this subject - whether Brian wanted to or not - Justin doggedly persisted, "If it's what made you into this man you are today... then, it has a great deal of bearing."

Effecting a look of boredom, Brian's voice was monotone when he spoke, "Once upon a time there was a very bad man. Late one night, he broke into a house when everyone was sleeping." Brian's eyes looked away from Justin and into the distance as he recalled what he had seen with his fourteen-year-old eyes. "A simple robbery... or so it should have been, however, this man was just starting his life of crime and wanted to be remembered on the streets."

Justin's eyes were wide as he listened to Brian casually recounting the story... almost too casually, he thought. "What happened?"

Brian shrugged. "What usually happens in such a world, at least, with a vicious animal determined to make his mark. The family was slaughtered in their beds. Unaware of the robbery taking place, their deaths were unnecessary, and a sign of things to come."

His eyes firmly on Brian's that briefly reflected a pain born of remembrance, Justin observed, "They were your parents... weren't they?"

Nodding, Brian told him, "My parents and my younger brother. Seth, only eight years old at the time, died in my arms."

Tears slid down Justin's face. Fuck. He had known it had been something devastating to lure Brian into this life, but not this. He didn't know what to do or say. Only one question came to mind. "Why did he spare your life?"

With disgust, Brian remembered the moment when Gary Sapperstein walked toward him, smoking gun in hand, pointing it directly at his chest. "I had run to my brother's room when I heard him screaming." A slight smile twisted his lips. "Seth didn't call out for Mom or Dad. He called for me. My brother idolized me." Brian snorted, thinking how ironic that was now. He wasn't any better than the man that had destroyed their family... and yet, his brother had adored him. "I looked up at the man, my brother's blood covering my pajamas; quaking in sobs, I told him to finish it."

"Obviously, he didn't." Justin could barely speak the words. His heart was breaking for what fourteen-year-old Brian had endured.

Brian shook his head. So many nights he had wished he had died that night. Once his grief passed, revenge became his sole reason for living. Sapperstein's words had always stayed in his mind. They had been words he'd lived his life by ever since. "The cocky mother fucker told me I was too pretty to kill. Then, he told me something that I have lived by since then. He said - Don't care about anyone, kid. Weakness kills. As much as I hated hearing it, I've lived by it ever since."

"I'm so sorry, Brian." Justin's lower lip quivered. Despite how strong and uncaring Brian professed to be, he knew that wasn't the case. "I guess that man was Sapperstein."

"It doesn't matter." Brian's mask once again returned. He couldn't understand why he had given in and told Justin the secret that was his biggest nightmare - awake and asleep. Nothing had diverted him from his goals, or his focus, no one until this blue-eyed package of perfection. For years, he had lived his life by his own rules, and once he'd come to accept what was not only survival, but a path to what he wanted most - the destruction of Gary Sapperstein's life, and ending with his death.

"Brian... killing his brother won't bring your family back. I think you know that..." His eyes were pleading, yet to no avail. He could feel Brian closing off from him. His heart telling him that Brian was once again in that time of his greatest loss. There would be no reasoning with him now.

His back stiff, Brian walked to the door. He didn't look back. "No, it won't. However, it's a start in taking from him all that he took from me." Hating the tears that started to form behind his eyes, Brian closed his hand over the doorknob, right now, needing some time alone. This boy saw too much. He didn't need to probe deeper now. "I don't want to discuss this again. It would be to your advantage to forget what I've told you."

Fresh tears slid down Justin's face as he watched Brian stepping through the door. Brian's revelation had been devastating for both of them. He had never expected anything so dark and sinister. Now that he knew the truth, he understood him so much more. It didn't make Brian's decisions right, but they were more acceptable now. He had no idea where they went from here. Brian's shoulders had been slightly hunched forward when he left the room, the fearless gangster was reliving his greatest tragedy. Justin found himself amazed by how much he wanted to help him. The truth of the matter was quite simple - he was powerless in making this better. Only Brian could exercise his personal demons. Before this was done, he was quite certain a war would be mounted. There wasn't a doubt in his mind who he wanted to win - right or wrong be damned.

Justin shook his head as more realizations assailed him. Was he merely sympathetic for what young Brian had endured... or was it even more? Considering all he knew about Brian Kinney - could he possibly be falling for a monster? And if he was - where did they go from here?

TBC