Brandon had finished his third bottle of beer in the short time since Brian had stormed out of his apartment. He had tried calling Justin, but each time, voicemail picked up. He didn't know what to say to the young man that had nearly been his lover. Would Brian tell Justin what he'd foolishly admitted in a moment of weak desperation? And if not, was he already putting the Brian Kinney well-proven seduction moves in action? That thought tormented him most of all. As much as he loved his brother, and he did, he couldn't bear to imagine them together. What troubled him, even more, was the fact that Brian could view Justin as more than a convenient fuck. If that ever happened, he would have truly lost him.

Padding barefoot over to the refrigerator, Brandon pulled out a couple more beers. Returning to the living room, he grabbed for the remote control, idly turning on the TV. He was bored, restless, frustrated... but most of all - he just wanted Justin here. He had made a mess of their entire relationship. The worst part was that it was his agony now; Justin didn't even know the truth. At least, not yet. What hurt the most was in knowing Brian had been right. Justin deserved to know the truth. He just wasn't sure he could bring himself to confess all of it to Justin.

When he wasn't agonizing over Justin, he was guilt-ridden about Brian. He had wrongly accused his brother, and when it hadn't gone his way, he had lashed out at him yet again. All over a man. The one thing that they both had agreed long ago would never happen seemed to be their reality now. They were fighting over a man. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he was losing the war. He had to talk to Justin tonight. If only he could get him back over here. Surely his parents had to be gone by now. Turning the TV off that he never really glanced at to start with, Brandon once more pressed the speed dial that would connect him to Justin's phone.

During his previous attempts to reach Justin, he hadn't left a message. He hadn't wanted to appear pushy after the way Justin had left. As he thought about it now, Brandon realized that had been foolish of him. Justin would recognize the caller ID as soon as he viewed his missed calls. When Justin's voicemail picked up, Brandon decided to leave a message this time. Not doing so probably appeared strange, and it could unduly worry Justin as well. That was really the last thing he wanted to do.

"Hey, Hot Stuff," Brandon greeted, trying to sound more upbeat than he truly felt. "I don't mean to interrupt your time with your parents... so, if you're still with them, just call me in the morning. Umm, but if they're gone, I'd really like to talk to you tonight. So, give me a call."

Brandon threw the phone onto the couch. He found his message pathetic and desperate even as he spoke it. All he could do was hope Justin didn't feel the same. What a mess, he morosely thought to himself. He needed to fix this... and he needed to do it tonight. As he chugged yet another beer, Brandon debated on whether he should go back to the campus and seek him out. What worried him the most was finding Justin with his brother. Not only finding him, but viewing firsthand his boyfriend succumbing to Brian's innumerable charms. If that turned out to be the case, Brandon wasn't certain how he would adapt... or how it would further damage his already strained relationship with Brian.

He refused to sit around and do nothing. For all he knew, Brian was making good on his threats to go after Justin. He couldn't let that happen. Staggering over to the door, Brandon pocketed his keys, never once considering the level of alcohol in his system. All that mattered was making things right with Justin. Somehow he would make him understand. Once he did that, Brian would never come between them again.

Brian leaned against the door jam, his eyes drinking in the sight of Justin lying on his bed, his eyes closed, yet a frown roughening his expression. He couldn't help smiling. Not even that frown could detract from Justin's beauty. Of course, he would never admit that to the blond. Doing so would be admitting he had a genuine, beating heart. He wasn't certain he wanted Justin to be privy to that. As intuitive as he knew Justin to be, Brian wasn't sure he hid that very well from the always inquisitive boy.

He closed the door lightly, making sure not to awaken him. As much as he had returned with the hopes of spending some time with his roommate, Brian was almost relieved that choice had been taken away. Despite his anger at his brother, he still felt uneasy about the declaration he'd made at the end. They had both gotten carried away in that heated exchange; however, he still held by what he had told Brandon. Justin deserved to know everything... and it needed to come from his brother. In addition to that, Justin was the only one who could decide if he wanted to pursue a relationship with Brandon, or if he could be content with what he had to offer.

Brian wasn't about to risk his future and his way of life for some hot little blue-eyed blond. If Justin wanted to have some fun, perhaps even be occasional fuck buddies, he was definitely on board with that; however, he wasn't about to let Justin change his life. He couldn't allow anyone to do that. Brian slipped his shoes off, placing them neatly by the bed, before going into the bathroom to toss his shirt into the clothes hamper; when he came out, he was surprised to find Justin sitting on the bed, staring at him with a watchful expression. "I didn't mean to wake you; I was actually trying to be quiet."

"I wasn't sleeping; I was just lying here thinking." So many thoughts had been drifting in and out of his mind as he lay here resting. His parents, his future, coming out to his father, Brandon, and most definitely Brian. His life was filled with confusion. Every day something new seemed to factor in; Justin couldn't help wondering if that would ever end. Mockingly, Justin told him, "I know you were trying to be quiet. I've heard how you bang around when you don't give a damn who you disturb."

"Right. I deserve that." Brian bit at his lower lip; despite it being against his better judgment, he walked over to Justin's side of the room and sat next to him on the bed before working through all the reasons that weren't the best of ideas. "So, how did the visit with your parents go? Did you, uhhh, tell them?"

Justin nodded, his eyes staring straight ahead. "I told them alright. Well, my mom already knew, but my dad wasn't expecting to hear that."

"Okay," Brian remembered the beating he'd taken when he came out to his father. He was thankful the asshole was gone now, but he remembered those moments only too well. Even after so many years, he still had recurring nightmares of his childhood. He hoped Justin wouldn't have the same ordeal as he'd endured. "How did that go?"

"Oh, just wonderful. My father couldn't get out of here fast enough." Justin's eyes clouded with pain as he thought about how chilled the room had felt when his father just looked through him. "He told me no matter what, he would always love me... but that he needed the time to work through it."

Brian frowned, his confusion only growing. That sounded like the most healthy coming out talk he'd ever heard. He didn't get why Justin appeared so lost. "Well, that sounds good. I think you should just go with that... maybe call him in a few days."

Justin nodded. "Maybe."

"What aren't you saying, Justin? Something seems to be missing here..."

"Oh, nothing much. He just told me that he wasn't angry, but merely disappointed." Justin laughed bitterly. "He had all these hopes for the future. My career, marriage, kids. You know, the whole picket fence life. Well, now that I admitted to loving cock - he knows that won't happen. I've shattered his illusions."

Brian nodded, his eyes staring straight ahead in the same direction Justin had been looking. He didn't know what to say to that. It was much different than his own coming out confession to his father, but it didn't make it any less intense - at least for Justin. It was clear that Justin had a very good relationship with his parents, his father especially. That was another factor he couldn't relate to himself. "Parents can hold high ideals for their kids. I wouldn't give up, though. Hell, I never give up on anything!" Brian turned to look at Justin when he spoke the words, unable to deny, at least to himself, he was now referring to more than Justin's meeting with his parents.

Justin turned to look at Brian. There was something in his voice. When he saw the intense heat in Brian's eyes, Justin's heart slightly fluttered. His mouth became dry as he felt the smoldering heat in Brian's eyes. "Uhhh, B-Brian? What's going on here?"

A knowing, self-assured smile curved Brian's lips. His hand reached out to trace the side of Justin's face. Such soft, perfect skin. This kid wasn't just hot... he was fucking beautiful. "Perhaps it's the day for confessions..." Brian told him, his voice deep and husky. Brian clearly recognized if he didn't talk now, it wouldn't be happening anytime soon. He was on the verge of kissing the breath out of the blond. Realizing how much he wanted Justin, he knew he wouldn't stop with a mere kiss.

"Confession?" Justin asked, shaking his head as if trying to clear the fog that suddenly permeated around him. "I don't understand."

"It's not a big deal really. I just thought I should tell you." Brian bit at his lower lip, his eyes uncertain as he prepared to say words he'd never said to another man. "This doesn't come easy for me, Justin. It goes against my code." Brian laughed at how ridiculous that sounded, and yet, that was how he lived his life. "I guess I'll just come out and say it."

Perplexed, Justin asked, "Say what?"

"I'm sorry." Brian looked away from the confusion in Justin's eyes, laughing at himself as he spoke the words. It hadn't been nearly as difficult as he'd always thought it to be. He remembered his well-practiced comeback whenever anyone apologized to him - 'Sorry is Bullshit'. All of those times he'd thought it to be true; however, now he wasn't so sure. "Okay, let me clarify that a bit. I've been a real dick to you from day one. It wasn't your fault, and well, I'm sorry for that."

"Hold on there." Justin's mouth was gaping open in amazement. "You are actually apologizing to me!? B-but... you hate me."

Brian snorted. "Hate you? Not even close, Blondie. That's been the problem."

"I don't get it, Brian. Exactly what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm used to getting what I want... in particular, hot little blond twinks that make my dick hard. I'm not used to resisting that or being rejected. It really has nothing to do with you going out with my brother. It's all about me, and dealing with walking around with a hard cock every time I see you." Brian's eyes were full of lust as he looked at the stunned look on Justin's face. "I've been a jerk to take that out on you... that's all I'm saying."

Justin nodded, his eyes downcast, when he nervously admitted, "I've been keeping my own secret... and for a lot longer time than you."

"What's that?" Brian asked, doing all he could to restrain from touching the boy that he was already viewing as a friend, yet one that he wanted with a ferocity he had never known.

"I had the biggest crush on you in high school." Justin laughed in remembrance, his face flushing at just how pathetic he had been, came flooding back. "I couldn't keep my eyes off of you; I just can't believe you never noticed it."

"I guess I didn't." Brian did remember seeing Justin around, but they didn't run into each other often. The only vivid memory he had was of seeing Justin bent over in the hallway picking up some books. A thought had come unbidden to his mind. Brian laughed. "I remember seeing you in the hallway, although it's just now occurring to me that it was you. You had dropped your books and were bending over to pick them up. At the time, I thought to myself, what a nice ass. Of course, I had barely come to terms with myself, and my love for cock; I wouldn't risk approaching you then."

Justin sighed. "Imagine if you had."

"Look at me, Justin." Brian's eyes were stormy when he studied the flushed face looking expectantly up at him. "There would have been no restraint if I had. My inexperience and lust for the forbidden would have made that impossible." Brian felt his cock twitch as he thought of the possibilities. "I would have fucked the living shit out of you."

"I would have let you." Justin knew this entire conversation was dangerous, but he felt compelled to see it through. "I- I guess we'll never know what might have happened."

Brian moved closer. There wasn't a doubt he was going to taste those lips. Regardless if he did anything else... he was going to kiss Justin tonight. "How about we forget about the past, and move into the future... Right now I want to kiss you. Fuck. I want that badly." Brian's mouth moved closer, yet he did so slowly. He was giving Justin the chance to move away if he was so inclined. Brian couldn't be more pleased that didn't seem to be the case. "Lie down," Brian rasped. "I want to feel your body against mine when I finally take your mouth. I will stop at any time you say the word."

Justin blinked, his body lost in a haze that surrounded him. One that could only be attributed to the sensations that only Brian evoked in him. He thought about Brandon. This was so unfair to him... and yet, even knowing that, he still moved to follow Brian's urgings. "B-Brian? What about Brandon?"

A muscle ticked in Brian's jaw. He didn't even want to hear another man's name on Justin's lips right now - not even his brother's. "Shhhh," Brian answered, his body following Justin's down to cover him. "It's just a kiss. We can figure it all out later."

"Just a kiss..." he repeated. He watched as Brian's mouth came down to cover his; Justin's response was far from immobile. His hand cupped the back of Brian's neck, his fingers moving through the strands of brunet hair. After what felt like a lifetime of waiting for this precise moment, Justin sighed when their lips finally connected. He couldn't think about anything. All he could do was feel. As his lips moved beneath Brian's, Justin willingly allowed his to part beneath Brian's. If they were to succumb to this kiss, he was determined it would be a real one.

Brian took his time as his mouth became acquainted with this boy he felt as if he'd wanted for a lifetime. There was no rush now. He framed Justin's face in his hands as his mouth devoured the luscious lips beneath his own. Fuck. He tasted so good. The complications of pursuing Justin no longer mattered. Right now, at this moment, all that mattered was how much he wanted Justin. It was time he got back to being who he was. In Brian's mind, that meant one thing alone - it was time he finally got what he most wanted. Without a doubt - that was simply Justin.

Justin moaned as Brian's tongue mapped out the inside of his mouth; nothing was untouched or unclaimed by the older boy. He could barely breathe through the ferocity of Brian's kiss. Justin clutched tightly onto Brian as their mouths ravenously ate the other. There wasn't a doubt that neither of them wanted this kiss to end.

"I want to fuck you, Justin." Brian's mouth released Justin's to slide down the side of his neck, his evocative words whispered into the side of his neck. "I want that so fucking much." Brian ignored his phone that began vibrating in his pocket, his hand reaching to toss it to the side. Nothing would interrupt them tonight. They would be friends, but so much more.

Pulling Brian's mouth down for another mind-altering kiss, Justin knew he had made his choice; in fact, one that he had made a long time ago. He had deluded himself into believing he had gotten over Brian. Justin was tired of fighting it. He didn't intend to fight it any longer.

TBC