Justin snuggled back against Brandon's chest; a sigh of contentment slipping past his lips when Brandon tightened his hold. "I just can't believe you're here... and that it was all a nightmare. We were so scared, Brandon."

Brandon frowned as he felt the quiver in the man he held against him. The full magnitude of what Justin and Brian had endured hadn't really fazed him - at least, not until now. They had really believed him to be dead. The victim of a tragic auto accident. He couldn't imagine how frantic they had been... Brian in particular. He really wanted to talk to Brian now. Hopefully, Brian would be home soon. Stroking his hands up and down Justin's arms, Brandon whispered, "I'm sorry you were scared, Justin. I had no idea any of this was happening. I guess I didn't realize just how serious this was."

"Oh, it was." Justin shivered in remembrance. "The police were here and insisted on Brian identifying your body. God. I can't imagine how hard that was for him."

Pushing aside that slight spark of jealousy that ignited at Justin's concern for his brother's state of mind, Brandon put himself in his brother's position. He couldn't imagine being the one to do the same for Brian. Fuck. That would have been both frightening and devastating. "I was a bit flippant with him on the phone; I was too shocked to take it all in. I owe him an apology." Brandon's eyes shuttered for a moment. He owed Brian more than one. After this horrific night, he hoped Brian would accept them.

Justin pulled up into a sitting position, his eyes seeking out Brandon as he sat perched up against the back of his bed. "Why were you in such a rush to get here? I- I mean, it isn't like you to drink and drive. You must have felt rushed to get here."

"I was stupid..." Brandon ashamedly admitted. Despite how jealous and panic-stricken he had been, rushing out to confront them, most especially when drinking, had been wrong. "Brian and I had a disagreement; I was rushing to stop him from acting on what he threatened to do."

"What kind of disagreement?" Justin asked, innately feeling he had a very good idea what it had been about.

"It doesn't matter now. That's done. I'd rather enjoy being with you... especially after our weekend was cut so short." Brandon smiled at Justin reassuringly; he had no intention of discussing his jealous behavior with Justin now. They seemed to be getting back on track now. He didn't plan on risking that for anything.

Momentarily distracted, Justin agreed, "It did get cut short. I'm sorry for that."

"Not your fault," Brandon told him, his eyes watchful on the young man that had been so close to becoming his lover. He wasn't quite sure that Justin hadn't welcomed that interruption - that was a large part of the reason that had sent him out. It had been the wrong response, but as unfamiliar as he was with the unpleasant feeling of jealousy, it had been all he could do at the time. "So, umm, how did you spend your evening after your parents left?"

Justin flushed guiltily, his eyes connecting with Brandon's, before he lowered them again quickly. He hadn't looked away soon enough. Before he had, he could discern pain in Brandon's eyes. It was as if Brandon knew exactly what happened, but wasn't going to speak of it. "I had a long talk with Brian." Justin laughed nervously. "It was actually good for once."

"Surprising..." Brandon murmured dejectedly. "Brian isn't big on talking to guys, especially ones he finds to be hot."

Shrugging, Justin didn't respond to that obvious statement. It was something he knew very well. Brian Kinney was a man of action - to Brian, talking was a complete waste of time. "He showed up not long after my parents left. I needed someone to talk to, and well, he listened to me."

Brandon pursed his lips together. It wasn't jealousy this time. Now, it was more in anger directed at himself. He should have been here for Justin during such a defining moment. Instead, his gut had been torn apart with jealousy, knowing his brother wanted his boyfriend, and the deep fear that Brian would win the battle if he decided to engage in it. Deciphering the guilty look on Justin's face, Brandon wondered how far things had progressed in that ‘talk' between the roommates. Something had happened, of that he was sure, it was just a question of what, and if it would happen again. "I should have been here for you," Brandon whispered remorsefully. "I wish I had been."

Shaking his head, Justin reached back and grabbed Brandon's hand. He squeezed it reassuringly, before he told him, "It wasn't a big deal - really. My mom already knew the truth... it was just telling my dad that was so hard. He wasn't really mean to me, just very distant. I hope he comes around in time. Whether he does or not, I know it's my life. I'm going to live it as I see fit."

"That's the right attitude." Brandon smiled back at Justin as he returned the squeezing pressure on Justin's hand. "I- I was thinking... well, wondering if you wanted to come back to my place for the rest of the weekend." When Justin looked hesitant, Brandon added, "I don't mean we have to pick up where we left off; I know a lot has happened in these past few hours. I just wanted to spend some uninterrupted time with you... and hopefully, we could talk some more."

Justin wasn't sure about being alone with Brandon in his apartment again. He was attracted to him, there wasn't any doubt of that, but he felt the same about Brian too. Clearly, anything beyond friendship wasn't likely to develop between him and Brian. When Brian went to the morgue with the officers, Brian had been more than clear about his feelings - or lack thereof. But it wasn't fair to use Brandon as a second choice, either - if that was truly what he was. He was so confused with the events of this night, not to mention the conflicting emotions for each brother. Justin knew he had to figure it out... doing that was the true task. However, they did need to talk. He wouldn't be able to figure anything out if dishonesty still hung between them. "Uhhh, you forgot one little detail, Brandon."

"What's that?"

"You don't have a car." Justin laughed as the irritation spread across Brandon's face. "I guess we could take a cab there..."

The door slammed behind them, both pairs of eyes turning to look at a glowering, yet clearly relieved Brian. "Where the fuck are you going now?" Brian's eyes were fully focused on his very much alive brother. "Haven't you found enough trouble tonight with all your traveling?"

Brandon stood to his feet, a playful light in his eyes as he advanced to his brother. In a sing-song tone, Brandon cooed, "Yes, I'm fine, Brian, other than the slight bump on my head. Nothing to worry about."

Brian's lips quirked into a brief smile, tension slowly beginning to leave him. Uncaring of his roommate watching on in amusement, Brian pulled Brandon to him, hugging him tightly against him. The embrace was over as quick as it had begun, but it was a revealing expression of his feelings. "I'm glad it was a false alarm, Brandon. I was fucking scared!" Brian's voice cracked a bit on the last part, his eyes lowering before the pain was on open display for all to see.

"I'm sorry my actions caused all of this worry. I never intended any of it to happen..." Brandon began, his eyes seeking out his brother's, both of them knowing precisely what had caused him to rush out into the night.

Oblivious to any possible undercurrents between the two brothers, Justin came up behind Brandon, his arms wrapping around his waist. "Of course, you didn't." Justin leveled a challenging stare on his roommate. "I'm sure Brian knows that too."

Brandon covered Justin's hands with one of his own, his eyes on his brother in the process. He wasn't sure if they were still embroiled in this little war, but circumstances made him the winner - at least for tonight. Building on that, was all he could do now. Brandon didn't miss how Brian's gaze moved to look away from the intimate pose they effected, not a bit remorseful regarding this part of the night. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he was the brother that was best for Justin. Brian would never offer him what he wanted to give him. In time, Justin would love him as much as he loved Justin. He just had to be patient. "Could you do us a favor, Bri?"

Brian forced himself to look at the sight of the two of them together, in his mind reinforcing precisely why Brandon was better for Justin. There wasn't a doubt it was true, and they all knew it. Justin was incredibly sensitive, and wouldn't respond well to a brief fling, or a one-time encounter. At this point in his life, that was all he had to offer. Not to mention that he couldn't openly be with any man. If that aspect changed, he would probably reconsider his decision, and non-relationship with Justin; however, that wasn't something likely to change in the foreseeable future. Then, there was the fact of how happy Brandon was with Justin. In fact, the happiest he had ever known him to be. And with the life he had had so far, Brandon deserved that happiness. No matter how much he wanted Justin, this was the time to step back. Somehow he would make himself stick to it this time. "What do you want?" Brian asked, thinking he had a slight idea where this was heading.

"Well, my car was stolen, and I guess, totaled - so, I was wondering if you could take the two of us back to my apartment." He looked over his shoulder to catch Justin's slightly hesitant look, quickly forging on ahead before Justin could change his mind. "We have a lot to talk about, and we were planning on spending the weekend together."

Nodding, Brian looked to Justin for confirmation. Yeah, they had a lot to talk about. He just wondered if his brother would tell Justin the truth... or if he would claim the ultimate prize first. "Is that what you want, Justin?"

Justin searched Brian's face for some indication that Brian wanted him to say no. He wasn't sure what his response would be. There was no denying that he had feelings for Brian, ones that had been with him for a long time; however, he had feelings for Brandon too. Nothing could be decided while he remained so confused. He needed to talk to Brandon. Hopefully then, he could put it all into a better perspective. Noting that distance that had once again returned to Brian's eyes, Justin gave the only answer he thought he could. "We were supposed to spend the weekend together, and yes, we have things to talk about. Yeah, I want to go home with Brandon."

A reflexive muscle ticked in Brian's jaw. He would have been fine if Justin would have stopped before saying - I want to go home with Brandon. That made it all too real. As he discerned the relief in Brandon's eyes, Brian was pleased he didn't see any form of smug mockery. He wasn't sure he could remain aloof in that case. "Okay, I'll take you." Not wanting to be perceived as the loser, or the odd man out, Brian callously continued, "I was going into town myself. It's early yet... and there's plenty of prime ass to be conquered."

"Yeah. It would be a shame if you didn't get your dick sucked tonight," Justin muttered sarcastically. He shook his head, as he pulled away from Brandon to begin re-packing his duffel bag that he had just unpacked earlier. Typical Brian Kinney. A moment of caring washed away to inconsideration. Brian would never change. Perhaps it was time he realized that.

Brandon laughed. As much as he really didn't want to see Justin hurt, he was glad to see that Brian was backing off from Justin. It was for the best for all of them. In time, Brian would more fully see that. "Don't judge him too harshly, Justin. It's the life he knows, not to mention, the one he wants."

Brian's eyes narrowed on his brother. As much as he loved him - and that was the primary reason he was backing down from Justin, still, he could see his faults. Brandon was enjoying his retreat a bit too much. "Perhaps it is," Brian agreed blandly. "It's more than that, though. I'm living the life society has forced me to live if I want to achieve my goals." His eyes touched on each of them in turn. "Should that aspect ever change, I will change how I live my life." Brian leveled a challenging stare at his brother. "Something to remember..."

TBC