Brian looked anxiously between his brother and Justin. Guilt almost overwhelmed him at the look of dismay on Brandon's face. Despite knowing that Justin needed to hear the truth, he felt consumed by guilt that he had brought it about in the form of an ultimatum. It should have always been Brandon's decision... not his.

Not only that... he had betrayed his brother today. He had been too blinded by lust at the time to see it. But now, he saw it for what it was. He wanted Justin. Living in this room with him, listening to the sound of his breathing, the laughter and smiles that he extended to everyone but him, had quickly driven him over the edge. He had to find a way out of this rapidly growing obsession... or face losing his brother forever. No matter how much he wanted Justin, he had never allowed a man to come between them. It wouldn't start now. Right or wrong, or the risks involved, Brian knew what his method of pain management would be. He would leave them in peace, and see to that now.

"I'll just leave the two of you alone..." Brian spoke, his eyes briefly touching on both of them, quickly grabbing his keys and wallet. He didn't bother to go to the bathroom to fill his wallet with more condoms; he would see to that when he left. Right now, all he wanted was away from both of them. As it was, he could barely look either of them in the eye; most especially his clearly devastated brother.

Brandon nodded, his voice breaking when he spoke, "I'll try to make it quick."

Brian shook his head, quickly moving through the doorway. "Take your time." He looked back at them both, his eyes hunted as he looked at Justin, then when he looked into the disappointment in Brandon's eyes, the deepest regret he had ever felt swelled within him. "I won't be back tonight."

Won't be back? Fuck. This was really bad. Justin looked back and forth between them. He was really scared now. This was much worse than he'd ever imagined. "Uhhhh, Brandon, if it's something you don't want to talk about, or you don't want me to know, it's fine. Really, it is."

Brandon waited until Justin closed the door, before he moved over to Brian's side of the room, wearily sitting down on his brother's bed, tears brimming in his eyes. "No. I have to tell you this... and I need it to be now."

Justin rushed to sit next to Brandon, his eyes moving back and forth as he searched Brandon's tortured gaze. "Is it Brian? That was nothing, really. Just Brian being Brian. You know?"

Laughing regretfully, Brandon answered, "No, Justin. God. I wish it were that."

Biting at his lower lip, Justin said, "I know that upset you. The tension between the two of you was bad, Brandon. Really bad."

"I know it was. And I was probably wrong too. I have no claim on you." Brandon's entire expression was intense as he looked into Justin's beautiful blue eyes. "I wish I did, though."

Justin flushed. It was funny how both brothers made him feel wanted in different ways. Brian was so primitive in his desire... but Brandon, somehow, it was open and pure. He didn't doubt that Brandon physically wanted him, just as his brother did; Brandon just displayed it differently. "How about we table that discussion... and get back on topic."

"Can't slip anything past you." Brandon tried to effect a playful tone, but his voice cracked at the end.

Trying to lighten the mood a bit, in hopes that it would give Brandon the strength to just say whatever he had to say, Justin teasingly said, "Is this where you tell me you have a wife... or even a husband?"

"God, how I wish it was something like that..." Brandon looked away from Justin, uncertain of exactly how much he could reveal. He knew Brian was right. Justin deserved to know the truth - all of it. He had already developed deep feelings for Justin; they only grew stronger each day. Not telling him was unfair... and realistically, Brandon knew the day could come where secrecy would no longer be possible. He turned his head to meet Justin's gaze once more, his lower lip quivering as he tried to speak the words without either chickening out or breaking down. "I have an illness, Justin."

"Uhhh... okay," Justin answered. He didn't know quite how to respond. Should he ask questions or just wait for Brandon to tell him more? Seeing that Brandon was in no hurry to elaborate quickly, Justin bluntly asked, "Is it serious?"

Brandon nodded his head. "I was diagnosed with Leukemia about six years ago. I've been through all the tests, chemotherapy... everything..."

"Leukemia?" Tears began to slide down Justin's cheeks. Justin began to shake his head, back and forth; this wasn't real... it couldn't be. He was dreaming. Yeah. That was it. Dreaming. No. A nightmare. Silent tears continued to fall. He looked around at everything other than Brandon, his mind and eyes taking in everything. This wasn't a dream. It was real... and he was starting to fall apart. Stiffening his back, he looked back at Brandon, quickly realizing Brandon was taking in his every expression. The last thing Brandon needed was his torment on top of his own. "I-I'm sorry. I knew something was wrong, but I n-never expected this."

"Shhh. It's okay." Immediately, Brandon was all about comforting his boyfriend... well, at least, he was that in his mind. Upon seeing Justin's response, Brandon thought that might be a fair assessment. "I don't want to upset you. There's no denying how much you have started to mean to me, Justin. Before we move further, I knew I had to tell you." Brandon inclined his head, as if remembering he was only telling part of a story. "Brian pushed me into it. He told me I had to do it. I didn't want to... but I knew he was right."

"Brian..." Justin whispered. It all made so much sense now. That was why Brian was so over-protective of Brandon. God. So many of their Brandon-related arguments made sense now. "He has to be going through hell. I can't imagine..."

Brandon sighed, his shoulders shaking as the sobs he had tried to hold back erupted. Within moments, he felt himself clutching onto Justin as the younger man pulled him into his arms for comfort. "He's been through so much. His life with his father was so fucked up... then, we finally got to spend time together, and this happened. It's just not fair!"

"No. It's not." Justin cried with Brandon for several minutes; he wasn't even sure how long they clung tightly together, each crying on each other's shoulders. When Brandon's sobs finally settled, Justin pulled back to look at him. "How bad is it? I-I mean, I get that leukemia is a terminal disease, but I know they have been making progress."

This was the hardest part of all... and in what he had to say, he would need Justin's trust. He only hoped he wasn't asking too much. "They have been... but sometimes, it's just borrowed time."

"So... you have an actual time frame?" Justin bit at his lip to stop the incessant quivering. "How long?"

"I've been in remission for the past ten months." A guilty look fell across his face. "I was supposed to go back for a checkup in six months... but I was scared. I've had so many treatments that I knew there couldn't be anymore."

Justin's eyes closed briefly, before they opened, pain yet strength in his eyes as he looked at Brandon, willing him to reveal everything. "You're not really in remission, are you?"

"My oncologist called me yesterday. I've escalated to the Blastic phase." Brandon laughed shakily. "I guess it's my fault for delaying my checkup. Maybe he would have caught it sooner, but as it is..."

Swallowing tremulously, Justin didn't know what to say. Terminal. This beautiful man was dying, and apparently, there wasn't a damned thing anyone could do about it. Fuck! It was so unfair. He wanted to scream, cry, anything and everything; all the while knowing it wouldn't change anything. "What exactly does Blastic mean?"

"Along with all the details of my deteriorated blood count, it also means that for the first time, they can estimate the end." He looked solemnly at Justin, before he told him, "In most cases - three to six months."

Three to six months? Justin launched himself back into Brandon's arms, holding onto him as if his determination and solid grip would keep him here forever. "It c-can't be true..." Justin sobbed into Brandon's neck. "It's too soon. You're so strong. It has to b-be a mistake..."

Brandon rubbed circles on Justin's back, a sad smile curving his lips. What an incredible man Justin was; during his confession, and with every one of Justin's responses, Brandon felt so much closer to him. He had never thought such would be possible - but he had fallen in love with Justin. It was a bittersweet realization... and yet, it was one that he held to his heart. "Please, don't cry anymore, Justin. Now isn't the time for tears... now is the time for living. This is why I didn't want you to know. I didn't want it to change anything."

Justin pulled free of Brandon's arms, jumping up from the bed as if scalded. "But it does. I-I mean, how couldn't it?"

"The only thing that matters is the choice you have to make. And with this new knowledge, you do have a decision to make." Brandon remained where he sat, watching Justin carefully, yet not intending to do anything to influence his decision - one way or the other.

"Decision?" Justin asked blankly, tears still shimmering in his eyes. "Oh, I get it. You think I would dump you... now that I know the truth." He shook his head incredulously, unable to fathom that Brandon could think that. "I could never do that, Brandon. I care about you... a lot. This doesn't change that. In fact, I might care even more now."

Brandon stood to his feet, walking until he stood in front of Justin, his hands reaching out to clasp Justin's in his own. "I don't think that, you beautiful, sensitive boy. You are just starting out in college, a new life for you; this baggage that I represent is a lot to carry. I just want you to be sure. Right now it isn't bad. I'm still having treatments, but the success rate isn't favorable at this stage. But down the road, things will get worse. The doctor says I could live past the maximum expectancy - if I continue the treatments. My age is a positive factor. I just don't want to drag you down."

Fire and determination blazing in his eyes, Justin pulled his hands free from Brandon's and reached up to clasp each side of his face. He stretched up to meet Brandon's lips with his own, kissing him with all the passion, and intensity that was within him to express. When Brandon emitted a gasp of surprise, Justin deepened the kiss, his hands moving to run through his short, wavy hair. After a long, thorough kiss that left each man breathless, Justin pulled back to whisper, "Does that answer your question?"

"I think it does..." He frowned for a moment; Brandon had enough presence of mind to know he needed to finish the 'serious' part of their talk, before they could move onto more pleasant matters. "Uhhh, there's just one more thing I'd like to ask of you."

"Anything..." Justin murmured, his hands falling to rest on Brandon's shoulders.

"Brian doesn't know about the end of my remission. I'm going to tell him; I just want to wait a little bit longer." Quickly intercepting Justin's look of disapproval, he continued, "Brian's at the top of the world right now. The Panthers are 3-1, and they have a real chance this season. I don't want to be what messes him up."

Justin sighed, his hand reaching out to stroke along Brandon's cheek. "Are you even real?" he pondered. "You care so much about everyone else, and not yourself." Justin stepped back and thought about what Brandon was asking. He knew it was wrong... but he also knew it wasn't his place to tell Brian. However, he would do all he could to urge Brandon into doing the right thing. "Brian needs to know. He loves you more than anything. You have to know that!"

"I love him too." Brandon immediately forgot about their earlier disagreement when he spoke the words. "He's the best brother anyone could ever have. I just need a little time, Justin. Time to spend with him that isn't about knowing that the end is looming. We'll have enough of that later."

"I'll respect your wishes. I just hope it isn't for long. The two of you need each other now..."

Brandon nodded. "Thank you, Justin." He looked deeply into Justin's eyes, hoping the words he was about to speak wouldn't be too much. Yet, after what he had just told him, he couldn't imagine doing anything like that now. "I'm going to be brave and say this, because I never thought I'd say this to anyone. I think I'm falling in love with you, Justin. That is, if I haven't already."

Justin moved closer again, his hands linking around Brandon's waist. "Well, just to be fair, I'll tell you a little secret - I think I'm falling in love with you, too."

TBC