Justin felt every self-preservation instinct kicking into overdrive at Brian's unexpected, and intensely hurtful remarks. He searched Brian's eyes, discerning nothing but coldness and determination. He couldn't have meant his words. Despite how much his head told him 'I told you so', his heart refused to believe it. They had reached a level he had never expected when this had all started. He felt safe with Brian, cared for even. As he looked into the glacial, hazel eyes, Justin began to realize he had been the biggest fool he'd ever been. He never trusted anyone. His life had made that a key to his own survival. Now, his own stupidity stared him directly in the face. Justin knew he had no one but himself to blame.

"Well... that about sums things up, Mr. Kinney." Justin's lips twisted into a bitter line. "Is this where I fall to my knees and service you before you leave for the office? I mean... I would hate to disappoint you, and not live up to my end of the agreement."

"I think we both know that is something I would never allow." Brian refused to back down from his statements from a few moments ago, his eyes analytically taking in the pain Justin tried to hide from his gaze. This boy was sensitive. It was his fatal flaw. After all that life had thrown at him, still, he cared deeply. Brian was determined that his giving heart wouldn't lead to his ultimate destruction. Without his intervention, Brian believed it would do precisely just that.

"I just don't get you, Brian!" Justin's arms flailed upwards, his eyes beseeching for understanding. "Where is the man that held me when I told him of the horrors of my past? The man with this returned blasé attitude, I guess doesn't give a fuck if Sapperstein or my father got their hands on me again!"

Brian's eyes suddenly glowed in rage. Unthinking how his anger would reveal that he did care, Brian for once reacted without thought. "That is totally unfair and uncalled for, Justin. Of course, I give a fuck. I have told you from the start that I would protect you from anyone, and everyone that threatened you. That hasn't changed!" His eyes began to glitter angrily. This blond was so damned aggravating in his vulnerability. In the past, it wouldn't have mattered; Brian knew with other men it still wouldn't have, but with Justin, he cared. That was the problem. In his opinion, he cared too damned much! In ordinary circumstances that would be fine. It would cause an adjustment to his life, but a workable one. In Justin's present situation, though, his attachment to his young lover was dangerous. Brian knew objectivity was one key to his success. He just wasn't certain he could carry that off.

"Right. However, not because you give a damn." Justin shook his head as he continued to berate himself for thinking that Brian could ever care about someone like him. Why should he? In Brian's world, he had to be next to nothing. A mere 'toy' for his amusement... definitely not someone he could seriously develop feelings for, and want to keep as part of his life. "I am just a possession to you. Nothing more. When another hot-looking guy catches your eye, I will be thrown to the curb like nothing. Gary was right. Perhaps I would have been better off with him." Justin looked away before seeing the hurt in Brian's eyes; in fact, a look that would be resonant of his own of a few moments ago. The ache in his chest reaffirmed his words... at least in his own mind. If he had succumbed to this kind of relationship with Gary, his heart would have never been involved. And whether he liked it or not, already his heart was becoming affected by Brian Kinney. Justin wasn't sure there was a way to stop that now.

"You are being ridiculous... and far too sensitive!" Brian ran a hand through his hair, swearing when he realized the time he was wasting when he needed to be getting answers he needed to protect both his son and Justin. "Sapperstein would have destroyed you. There would have been nothing left of you. In fact, you might not even physically survive the demented and dangerous games he plays. You need to understand this now, Justin. I am doing what I need to do to keep you safe. There's much more going on than you understand. I don't even have all the pieces yet... but I swear to you I will! A little bit of cooperation would get me a lot further in that."

Justin snorted derisively. "There's nothing to figure out, Brian. My father hates me. He wants me dead. I've always known that. Had I stayed in Pittsburgh, that is exactly what I would be now. The only reason I am still alive is that I ran away, and more importantly - he doesn't know where to find me. If that happens, no one around me will be safe. That's why you need to let me go."

"Fuck that! You're not going anywhere... unless it's with me!" Brian eyed him closely, deciding full disclosure would be the only way to gain a more cooperative Justin. "Your father knows where you are, Justin... long before you were here with me. He could have swooped down on you at any moment... but he hasn't. He's playing a game... and I swear it's one he won't win!"

"W-what do you mean he's known all along? Have you spoken to him? I-is he here in New York?" Justin's eyes were wide in terror, his lower lip trembling as Brian's words instilled the fear of his youth in him again.

Brian moved forward, firmly wrapping his arms around Justin's waist. "Relax, Justin. Breathe in and out and listen to me. First of all, you are safe. I want you to keep that in mind. I will never let that man touch you again!"

"N-never?" Justin queried. "That's a tall bill to fill."

"Trust me, Justin. Your father is no match for me. I take care of what belongs to me." His fingers began kneading Justin's waist, his eyes narrowing on him when Justin became tense at the direction of his words. "I get that you don't like this possessiveness I feel for you. It's new for me, too. It isn't something I can just shut off at will. If I could, I would lower the intensity of it immensely. However, it is what it is... and you need to accept it."

"It's hard, Brian. Really hard." Justin sighed deeply, yet didn't pull from Brian's possessive, yet comforting touch. "In my experience, possessive men are bad news for me. I- I just don't want you to turn out to be that too."

More than anything, Brian wished he had every man that had victimized this man in his presence. He wouldn't care about laws or the consequences of breaking them. Truth be told, he was well connected. He could work his way around that. Gary Sapperstein and Craig Taylor would pay dearly for all they had inflicted on Justin. He hoped that he could be the one to exact that vengeance... and with Justin by his side to either participate or enjoy that final closure. Brian knew that Justin needed that closure, most especially from his deranged father. He was determined Justin would have that. "Justin, I get that you've had a really difficult time. I'm trying to make that better for you. Sure, I took advantage of your situation to place you under my control, and protection; however, I would have never pushed you if I didn't think you wanted me as well. None of that matters regarding your protection, though. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. All I need is your trust and cooperation. Can you give me those?"

Justin looked deeply into Brian's eyes. What he saw there nearly staggered him. The cold, and arrogance was gone from his eyes. It had been replaced with concern and a more tender emotion. Brian really did care about him. Despite the irregularities of their relationship, he did mean something to Brian. He wasn't naïve enough not to realize some of it wasn't based on the arrangement they had, or this possessiveness Brian felt toward him... but for some reason, he knew it was more. Justin knew he wanted it to be more. He just wished this arrangement wasn't between them. He bit his lip uncertainly, unsure of how Brian would react to his request... but one he felt compelled to make. "I- I do trust you, Brian. I have a request; I know it's one you don't have to honor, but I would feel more secure and on a more even footing. I really think this is the only way to achieve that."

Brian took a step back, his eyes searching Justin's face intently. "What exactly are you asking?"

"I- I want out of our agreement." When Justin met the surprise and displeasure in Brian's eyes, he tried to amend his request - "Not for the reasons you're probably thinking. I'm not trying to get away from you, despite my knowledge that it would make you safer. It's not that at all."

Grasping Justin's hand, Brian pulled him over to the sofa, gently he urged him to sit down. Sitting next to him closely, yet not touching him further, Brian implored, "Explain it to me, then."

"I was desperate when I accepted your offer, we both know that. Although it wasn't just about that. I would have never accepted if I wasn't physically attracted to you too..."

"I know this, Justin. So, what's the problem? I have the money. It pleases me to have it benefit you. We're both getting what we want." His eyes narrowed on Justin's fidgeting form. "Aren't we?"

Justin shrugged. "For the most part, I guess. Except for one thing..."

"That would be?"

"Respectability." Justin turned to fully look at his lover, a look of shame on his face. "It's not that I'm not grateful for all that you've offered me, nor do I want to be anywhere else... but I wish it would be based on me just being with you, and not being paid to do so."

"It can be so where only the two of us know what I do for you financially. It doesn't have to make you feel degraded. It's not how I mean to make you feel." Brian shook his head, unable to grasp why they were discussing this now when there were so many other more pressing issues. When he looked at the grim set of Justin's mouth, he instantly realized it was important to Justin. Release him from their agreement? Brian wasn't certain he could take that chance. At once, he realized how tenuous his grasp on this blond truly was... and he didn't like it. Not only did he want to protect Justin, but he also wanted him around too. The risk of losing that affected him in ways he never thought to feel toward another man. No. He didn't like that at all. "I think things are fine as they are now. I see no reason to change it."

For some reason, Justin felt a flicker of hope. Brian hadn't become cold in his refusal. It might be something that could be approached later. At least, he hoped it would be. "I have never been comfortable with the money, Brian. Your intense brand of possessiveness is beginning to feel more natural... and that was an issue for me at first." Justin flushed, when he added, "I can't deny that at times it's hot as fuck."

Brian chuckled. "I'm glad you feel that way." Far from oblivious to the tension that still seemed to shroud Justin like a thick fog, Brian added, "How about we discuss this again - after we get the mess of your father handled? Now isn't the time I want to make changes and worry even more about your safety."

"Okay, I guess we can table it until then..." Justin looked at Brian curiously for a moment. "I take it you won't be going to the office today?"

"No. Your father being in the same city as my son raises some alarms. And there is more to the story. Now that you are calmer, I can tell you more." Brian was amazed at how much at ease he was in his candor with Justin. He really trusted him... and being that his son was affected in that decision it deeply astounded him. Justin had changed his life on so many levels. He wondered how much more he would continue to do so. "It has come to my attention that the Sap has been working for your father. He's known all along you were in New York City... and with whom. I have no doubt he was playing a game to place you in a dire situation... but that's all changed now that you're with me."

Justin's jaw dropped down. "Gary and my father? But why? What could they be planning?"

"I don't have all of those answers yet... but I will. In the meantime, I think our plans have changed."

"C-changed?" Justin asked worriedly, having the feeling he wasn't going to like where this was headed.

Brian nodded; he stood and began pacing lightly, back and forth, a decision that he felt to be the only one he could make suddenly and firmly in his mind. "Sapperstein isn't the real problem, although I will deal with him on another level when your father is under control. Ben is in Pittsburgh, as is my son... and your father."

"No..." Justin protested, his face suddenly pale and drawn. "You can't ask that of me, Brian. You can't!"

"I know it won't be easy, Justin; however, the ghosts of the past need to be laid to rest. Where better than facing them where they originated? Ben will be there, and I will not leave your side. The threat of your father will be lifted, and you will be free to live again." Brian nodded, his decision becoming more definite in his mind. "I'll make the travel arrangements immediately. We're leaving for Pittsburgh today."

TBC