Barbados

He stood at the edge of his balcony, the blond looking forlornly out at the beauty of his tropical paradise; however, it wasn't that to him. It was a beautiful, yet menacing prison... the more he thought about it - that was exactly its clearest definition. He didn't want to be here; at least, he didn't want to be here with the man that professed ownership of him. The crazed criminal that would never let him go.

Gary Sapperstein.

He hated the man with every fiber of his being. His life had been destroyed because Gary had become obsessed with him. He could remember back to when he had been desperate to make his own way... too proud to accept the help Brian had wanted to give him. That had been his first mistake - just one of many. Taking that job, acquiring it in the way he had - that had been the beginning of the end for him. Looking back, he remembered the look in Brian's eyes when he realized what he was doing. The man that rarely lost his composure, had shown true signs of fear. It hadn't been fear for himself, or of even losing him to another man - but more for what could befall him in the naivety of his youth and his new situation. Had Gary not drugged him at the night of his private party - he might have seen just how dangerous he could be... should he become empowered.

Powerful was exactly what Gary Sapperstein had become. Gary was now an international drug dealer. He could kill a man on a mere whim. It was his threats of killing one man in particular that kept him subservient. He was beyond the point of cringing whenever Gary came near him. Familiarity forced him to find another way to endure Gary's touch. Gary wasn't unskilled in bed, far from it really; although, he was a creature of extreme moods. At times, the roughness of his possession left marks for weeks. Not that it really mattered. There was no one to care if he lived or died. Sometimes he wished for such a death. Realistically, he knew it was his only chance of escape.

No. He wasn't suicidal. Often, he wished it were a part of his nature. That end would solve his problem. But he had found a way to endure the mauling that Gary professed to be an extension of his love and admiration. Closing his eyes and seeing Brian's smile, and every moment they had ever shared was what got him through his nightmare. Sometimes he wondered if Gary suspected, he rather thought he didn't. Gary would take that as a form of betrayal... and he would be severely punished.

"Here you are..." Gary's voice rasped close to his ear. "I've been looking for you." He moved directly behind his perfect blond, his arms encircling his waist. "You wouldn't be hiding from me... would you?" Gary began kissing the side of Justin's neck, his hands moving in circles on his midsection.

"Of course not," Justin dutifully responded. "Where would I possibly go that you wouldn't find me?"

Gary spun Justin around to meet the fierceness in his eyes. "Nowhere! You are mine. I made sure of that!" He frowned slightly, before an understanding smile curved his lips, the smile far from reaching his dead eyes. "I expected you to be a bit melancholy today. After all, it is the third anniversary of your death."

"My death. And yet, here I am, very much alive." Justin's tone was bland, doing very little to disguise how uncaring he was about that fact.

Gary's eyes heated, and his hands clenched at his sides. He hated everyone that Justin loved. If he didn't need them alive to keep Justin compliant - each one of them would already be dead. Removing his cell phone from his pocket, Gary opened a video that had recently been sent to him. "I have a gift for you on your special day. Go ahead - watch it."

Swallowing in the deepest of dread, Justin took the offering, his finger trembling on the play button, somehow knowing he was about to see something that would be of further devastation to him. Barely managing to keep his face impassive, he watched as Brian entered Liberty Diner, quickly snapping out an order for what he assumed to be his standard cup of coffee before taking his seat with the rest of the gang. His heart ached as he watched his movements. He was so hauntingly beautiful... and yet, he looked so sad... almost broken. Flinching when Gary snatched the phone from his grasp, Justin tremulously asked, "W-when was this taken?"

"Only an hour ago." Gary's nostrils flared in his jealous rage. "Your eyes give so much away. You still love him! All you can think about is your precious hero finding a way to save you. Face the facts, Justin - Rage doesn't exist. He isn't going to come to your rescue. I will kill anyone who tries to take you away from me!"

"I realize that, Gary." Justin knew he needed to make amends... and do so quickly. A jealous Gary was at his most dangerous. Over the past three years, he had witnessed that repeatedly. He couldn't risk that anger being taken out on Brian as it had on several of their male servants. Not a day passed where he didn't feel the guilt of those deaths. There was no guarantee that more wouldn't follow. Repelled by his actions, yet knowing he had to do something, Justin placed the palms of his hands on Gary's chest, slowly smoothing them up and down. "I'm not trying to leave. I accept this as my life now."

Eyeing him in suspicion, Gary smashed his lips against Justin's, his tongue forcing his way inside... his breathing becoming ragged as his mouth devoured the one that was his sole obsession. He slid his hands down to Justin's ass, his lust rising suddenly - as it always did when he touched him. Pulling free, Gary's eyes moved over the beautiful blond, distrust and desire clearly visible within them. "That's good. Remember the image I gifted you with today. I didn't come across it by chance. I have him being watched - day and night. A phone call is all it would take to erase him from existence!"

Justin swallowed, unable to still the shudder that overcame him at such a reality. "I am doing everything you want to prevent that. I'm here to stay."

"Yes, you are... I won't be joining you for dinner tonight; I have business around the island. I will call you later." A look of warning passed between them. "I expect you to be here."

Nodding, Justin watched as Gary moved away, the tears now safely falling. Brian. He had seen him briefly, even if only on a video capture. At least he knew he was still alive. No matter how torturous his days... and most especially his nights continued to be, it was all worth it. Brian was alive. He would do anything to make sure that didn't change.

Brian propped his legs up on his coffee table, his arm robotically tipping the bottle of beer into his mouth. He didn't taste the beer that he typically enjoyed, nor did he absorb anything in the loft around him. All he could do was think about what fucking fate had taken from him, and how he wished he could give destiny a swift kick in the ass. Of course, he couldn't... but how he wished he could just once. So many wrongs fate had committed against him... however, the tragedy of Justin's death surpassed all. Even Saint Joan couldn't touch this.

His lip curled in disgust as he thought of his dear mother. She had always told him he would rot in hell. Perhaps she had gone to her higher power and cursed his life. He wouldn't be the least bit surprised. Wasn't that how curses worked? If... such existed. Life had been perfect - a short three years ago; although, that time seemed like another lifetime. Justin had been due to come home, and then, the hand of mother fucking nature intervened. His beautiful Sunshine... the one person that could always find the bright lining in the most dire of circumstances, had been taken from him forever.

Yeah, life was unfair. He had always known it to be true; however, his life was the walking definition. There was no way he would ever place himself in such a vulnerable position again. The Brian Kinney of old had returned. Tonight he would fuck every hot guy in sight. He might even bring a group of them home. He needed to lose himself - body, mind, and soul. Perhaps that would take him back to the mentality of being Brian before Justin. After all he'd shared with the special blond, he wasn't sure that was possible. He had to find that mindless oblivion. If he didn't, he thought he might lose his mind.

He reached for another bottle of beer, his mind fully processing the time. It was time for Woody's; he had no intention of going there tonight. His friends would be waiting for him like watchful mother hens. He wanted no part of it. His method of handling pain was the only way that worked for him. It was what he knew. Justin had changed him for a while, but he was gone now. He would revert back to being the asshole everyone thought him to be. In his private moments when thoughts of Justin overwhelmed him, Brian realized it was impossible to return to that uncaring time. Justin had changed something in his heart. He wasn't sure he could ever go back completely. He had to try, though. The void that Justin left in his life was an actual physical pain at times. He needed it to stop.

Brian glared when he heard the incessant tapping on his door, his eyes narrowing when he heard a key being slipped into the lock. Persistent, meddling SOB! Only one person had a key to the loft, at least, only one other living man. Michael. Before the door could open, Brian shouted out, "Go the fuck away, Michael!"

Sliding the loft door open, Michael's eyes were tormented when they settled on Brian sitting on the sofa - an endless array of empty beer bottles sitting on the table. Making his approach with uncertainty, Michael whispered, "I can't do that, Brian." He took in a deep breath, before admitting, "I scolded Ma earlier for pushing you, but here I am doing the same. I- I just can't let you do this alone."

"You worry too much." Brian tipped the beer into his mouth, his eyes staring balefully ahead. "I'm fine."

Michael sat next to Brian on the sofa, his eyes touching on each empty bottle discarded on the table. "No... you're far from fine. Maybe Ma is right and you need an intervention." Waving his hands toward the mess on the table, Michael assertively decided, "This isn't getting you anywhere. I'll just make you some coffee... then, we can talk."

Brian slammed the bottle of beer down, standing to his feet quickly after. "Fuck coffee... and fuck talk. I'm getting ready for Babylon." He looked over his shoulder, his eyes disinterested when he asked, "Are you coming along?"

"Wherever you go... I'm going." Michael didn't intend to leave Brian's side tonight; at least, not until Brian tossed him to the curb. Knowing Brian as he did, he realized Brian's temper was short. He could toss him out now. That wouldn't matter, though. He would shadow him all night if necessary. He'd already discussed it with Ben, and they were in full agreement. Brian needed to be watched tonight. The loss of Justin three years ago had been devastating - they wouldn't be losing Brian too.

Justin tensed as he felt a presence moving into the bed behind him. He didn't have to look to know it was Gary, and he was fully disrobed. Forcing himself not to shudder each time he came to him took all of his control. Seeing Brian on the short video today certainly didn't help. All he could think of now was that look of anguish on Brian's face. It was remarkable to him really. Brian didn't appear to have moved on; at least, he hadn't forgotten him or what this day signified. More than anything, he wanted to reach out to the man that should have been his husband and tell him not only that he was fine, but that he loved him more than ever. That was the last thing he could do, though. Brian's life hung in the balance. He could suffer any degradation to protect him.

Gary's breath hotly hit at the back of Justin's neck, his hands sliding beneath the sheets, clenching when he felt Justin's boxers in place. He slipped a finger into the waistband, pulling it back and snapping it... uncaring of how startling his action might be. "You know I hate you wearing these to bed. I always want you to be ready to receive my attentions." His nostrils flared as his hands tightened on Justin's hips. "Sometimes I think you enjoy pissing me off!"

Trembling under the restraining and menacing grasp, Justin shakily answered, "N-no, of course not, Gary. I would be a fool to do that..."

Turning his captive blond in the bed, his eyes savaged the face of the beautiful blond that had been his every waking thought from the moment he'd walked into his club long ago back in Pittsburgh. It had been all about Kinney even then. As he clearly deciphered the fear on Justin's face, he recognized it wasn't fear for himself... as always the boy's actions reflected his desire to protect his former lover. How he hated that man. Sometimes he just wanted to kill the man that would forever be a thorn in his side; while Kinney lived, he would never have all of Justin. Although, he'd told Justin he only wanted his body... he found he wanted it all. Justin obsessed him. Nothing but everything would ever satisfy him. "Suck me," Gary commanded, knowing nothing would satisfy him more right now. The boy's mouth was made of pure sin. He could easily see how a man like Brian Kinney could change his long-running rules for this blond-headed piece of ass. "Make it good..." he warned. "You have much to make up to me for today."

Justin pushed the silk sheets away, his body compliantly moving into position. He could handle this in the stillness of the night. The semi-darkened bedroom helped even more. It was Gary's advances in the daytime hours that were most difficult to handle. Now, with the room nearly shrouded in darkness, he could perform this repellent task - imagining Brian being on the receiving end. Thankfully, he had never called out Brian's name in bed. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that if he did - that would have haunting consequences.

As his mouth skillfully worked over Gary's cock, Justin's mind reflected back to all the times he'd sucked Brian. Undoubtedly, there were many. In his more hopeful moments, he liked to think he would get the chance to do so again; however, he knew that couldn't happen... at least, not as long as Gary remained alive. As much as he wanted Gary dead, he didn't have it in him to coldly murder a man. Or did he? Gary was a monster and the one that kept him from all the people he loved. Brian in particular.

Inwardly, Justin breathed a sigh of relief when Gary rolled to his side, signaling he was done with him for the night. Laying back down on his side, turned away from the evil that enforced his captivity, Justin felt silent tears sliding down his face. Day after day, and particularly the nights, he endured the ultimate sacrifice. The time that continued to pass and the number of occurrences didn't really matter. All that mattered was keeping Brian alive and well. He would keep suffering the possession of the man he hated unlike any other to achieve that goal.

His love for Brian was everything. It was the only thing he had left now. The injustices that Gary inflicted on him couldn't take that away from him - now or ever.

TBC