Silently lying beside him I watch him as he sleeps.

I can't help but wonder how I let this blond angel creep so deeply into my mind... and with a grimace I realize - my heart.

I am Brian Kinney. I don't do feelings. I certainly don't miss a trick once he's gone from my arms... or even my sight.

I tell myself it was guilt from the bashing; knowing if I had not made such a display with him at the prom, it might not have happened.

I am only fooling myself and not very well at that.

This started long before the bashing. In all truth, it began almost from the very beginning.

The persistent little twat got to me like no one else before he ever could.

I couldn't resist. I've totally been fucked ever since I found this beauty underneath the street lamp.

Now, I know one thing for certain.

As long as Justin continues putting up with my flaws, I will continue to hold onto him.

I know for a certainty, losing him would shatter my heart; at the very least - it would destroy my hope that such a tender emotion truly existed in my world.

Of course, I will never admit that to him... but, somehow I think he already knows.

THE END