Justin groaned. This was precisely why he had kept himself closed off from emotions in the past. He didn't do these kinds of scenes. Undoubtedly, he didn't do vulnerable... and that was exactly how he was feeling right now. He knew he needed to turn around and shut this down now... but how could he? He loved Brian, and he wanted him to feel good. Not to mention, Brian's cock pressed up against his ass did have a nice feel to it. But no, that wasn't who he was. He didn't bottom for anyone or for any reason. That point had been more than clear. Now, how did he reaffirm that point without coming across as an unfeeling asshole? That wasn't the impression he wanted Brian to have of him. At least, not anymore.

Brian nudged his cock deeper against the ass that he would give virtually anything to fuck, even if only just one time. Justin hadn't pushed him away yet. In that, he would derive hope. Brian decided to move forward and press his advantage. It could be a case of now or never in this case. The prize was worth any risk attached. He moved his hands up and down Justin's chest, unable to miss the hitching of the beautiful blond's breath, hoping to utilize every well-practiced skill in his arsenal to achieve his desired goal. He pressed even closer, moving his mouth to the back of Justin's neck, his tongue reaching out to lick at his skin; in their short time together, already observing Justin's neck to be an erogenous zone for the younger man. "Think about it, Justin..." Brian rasped. "We could have it all. I could make you howl in pleasure... just as you have done to so many others, myself included. You just have to let go."

A moan ripped from Justin's throat. He had been concentrating for the last few moments to hold it in... but it had escaped, almost of its own volition. He had to stop this, and he would... but not yet. Brian's hands on him felt too damned good, his lips, and most especially his tongue felt indescribable. Justin bit his lip, he couldn't allow Brian to hear him again. As it was, Brian was methodically using his skills to overtake his objections, not that he had voiced any as of yet. He had never wanted this... but fuck, he was teetering now. When Brian's hands slid underneath his shirt, sliding them steadily up his chest, fingers clasping onto each nipple, Justin was nearly lost.

The hunter was becoming the prey, and he was feeling helpless to stop it. Just a few more moments he kept telling himself. He felt so desired and cherished being on the receiving end. Justin knew he wouldn't feel the same under the hands of another man, but this was Brian, the man he loved, and a man that he knew loved him. Somehow that was playing a part in his responses. Brian was seducing him, just as he'd probably seduced countless others. It was easy for him to recognize. He knew all the tricks of the trade. Even though he wasn't certain he was ready for this, nor if he ever would be, he didn't want it to end. Brian was making him mindless to everything other than his body's responses. It was a euphoric feeling... and he knew it was so dangerous to any resolve he might have remaining.

"Just let go, Justin." Brian was nipping at Justin's neck, his fingers tugging on the distended nipples, his cock prodding at Justin through his jeans. Fuck, he wanted him so much. If Justin stopped him now, he would go out of his mind. "Let me show you how good it can feel when it's right... and I know it will be perfect between us."

Justin knew he had to fight free, and he had to do it now. If he waited any longer, or if Brian touched either his ass or his cock, he would probably be lost. As of this moment, largely due to how he felt about Brian, he didn't think the idea of him bottoming for Brian was impossible. However, it was too soon. He needed to think about this step. For him, it was one of giant proportions. "You're good, Brian. I have to give you that..."

"That's not all you want to give me, Justin..." Brian released Justin's nipples to slide his hand down the front of his jeans, intending to show his dominant lover just how turned on he was for him. "I always suspected it, but you can't deny it any longer. You want to know, and you want it from me. Only from me..." He reached for the engorged cock, a feral grin on his face when Justin hissed in response. "Admit it..." Brian demanded. "NOW!"

Taking a deep breath, knowing he couldn't prolong this little scene any longer, Justin reached for Brian's hand, firmly dislodging it, managing to wiggle free from Brian's embrace, surprisingly without causing either of them to lose balance. He turned to face his hot, and apparently very determined lover, more than slightly unsettled by the predatory look on Brian's face. "I haven't changed my mind, Brian. I don't intend on bottoming... not even for you."

Brian moved a step closer, and then another, not stopping until they stood toe-to-toe. He cupped the back of Justin's neck, enjoying this new role of being the aggressor between them. He placed his forehead against Justin's, his eyes boring deeply into blue eyes that were hesitant... and for the first time - indecisive. "I have already admitted that I love you, and that was before I thought there was any chance of equalizing our roles. I would never push you into something that makes you comfortable. However..."

Justin pushed against Brian's rock-hard chest, this time moving further away from him while watching him warily from where he stood. "No, Brian. There is no, however... This is not a debatable topic. It is what it is, and something I thought you understood. I don't bottom. I guess I have to ask, is this going to be a deal-breaker?"

"A deal breaker? We are not negotiating a contract, Justin." Brian shook his head incredulously. "Again, I think my original statement needs to stand. We need to take a step back, each of us making certain we haven't just got lost in a moment, and be more certain that we know our own minds."

"I don't need time to figure that out, Brian. I know what I want. If you need time to absorb it all, that's fine. Neither one of us expected things to develop as they have. But that one variable isn't going to change." Justin's heart briefly lurched at the disappointment on Brian's face, knowing he had gotten his hopes up, and him prolonging his response only made things worse. "I'm sorry if you thought that would change, or if I did anything to make you think that it would. It's just who I am."

Brian nodded, unwilling to put into words how disappointed he truly felt. He had hoped that Justin's feelings for him would result in a compromise, but it was clear that wasn't going to be the case. Monogamy wasn't something he had ever wanted or thought to be possible for himself... but if Justin would have been willing to commit to a more balanced relationship, he might have given it a try. "I don't want to change you, Justin. I think you are perfect as you are. I was just hoping for a bit more of a give and take."

Frowning as Brian seemed to be moving toward the door, Justin found himself deeply unnerved that their evening could come to end this way. He hadn't been completely honest with Brian, and he sensed Brian knew that too. "Brian... wait."

His back tensing, Brian slowed his steps but didn't stop them until he reached the door. He turned to face Justin, the unease clearly discernible on the beautiful blond face. "I need to go, Justin. I've been doing things your way since we first met. Do you know how long it's been since I've fucked a man? Well, allow me to answer that for you. I haven't fucked a man since you watched me at Babylon, and when you surprised me in my washroom at Kinnetik. You don't bottom; well, yes I get that. You also need to understand that I have a similar need, so now I am going to get that need met."

"You're going to Babylon? Now?" Justin asked in disbelief. "We need to talk..."

"No, Justin. I need to fuck, and that's exactly what I'm going to do." Brian opened the door, giving Justin a long, lingering stare. "You profess to love me, and I believe that you do. However, love is supposedly built on compromise, not to mention trust. If you can't compromise on this one thing... How many others will there be? Goodnight."

Justin followed him to the door, forcing himself to put his deepest thoughts into words. "I'm not trying to stop you, Brian. In fact, I understand. I just hope when you are finished, you still come back to me."

Brian smiled, his hand lifting to trace the side of Justin's face. "This isn't goodbye, Justin. A trick is simply that. Once I'm done with him, I won't even remember his face. I still want to be with you... I just need more."

"I understand..." Justin pushed back the jealousy that ate at him, distaste coiling in him at the thought of the faceless man Brian would choose tonight, or any other night. "I want to be honest with you, Brian. If I ever decided I would bottom for a man, that man would be you." Justin bit his lip, looking down at the floor, the words not coming easily to him. "You were right in your assessment earlier. I was tempted, and I wanted you too. I'm just not ready for that. I can't promise that I will ever be ready... but with you, it's a possibility."

"Thank you for telling me that, Justin. It does help. Not because you are partially opening the door, but because you are throwing yourself out there by admitting it to me. I'm not going to take advantage of your hesitation." Brian looked deeply into Justin's eyes, wanting him to see the depth of his feelings and not just his lust for the other man. Both were present, but one needed to far overshadow the other, at least, for now. "If the time comes that you are ready, you will need to come to me. I don't want to push you again. I want it to be right and good for you. And Justin, it would be good. I would make it that for you."

"I know you would..." Justin admitted. Leaning in closer, Justin brushed his lips over Brian's, relieved that Brian didn't pull away. He didn't think he could handle that. They kissed softly, and deeply for a long moment, Justin forcing himself to be the one to pull away. "Goodnight, Brian. It seems we both have a lot to think about."

No further words were spoken as Justin closed the door, and Brian made his way to the elevator, and off to find what he needed. Before he stepped onto the elevator, Brian glanced back at Justin's door, knowing what he most wanted was some sort of compromise from Justin. Although Justin had given him a glimmer of hope, he was unsure his desire for Justin would ever be fully realized. And if Justin never extended his trust fully, he wasn't sure how they could ever grow together.

TBC