CHAPTER 15 - HE BITES AND SHE’S BACK

OUTSIDE WOODY’S

DAVID

I check my watch again. For someone who said he’d be 20 minutes, he's been a lot longer. Finally I see his van. I grimace as he gets out with an armful of comics, well that explains things. “Did you get what you wanted?” I paste on a smile, which he barely returns. “What’s wrong?”

“Been a long day. I need a drink.” 

“Why not leave them in the van?”

“How did you come through with Brian?” He growls as he puts them back, I’m surprised the door stays on its hinges after that slam. 

“Oh just something and nothing. Will let him tell you.” I chuckle, he gets more sour faced.

“How generous of you! Do you think you can give me, his best friend, his number, so I can find out?” 

“First, stop snapping your fingers like you’re calling a puppy! Secondly, I don’t have his number, why would he give it to me?”

“He said earlier to get it off them after talking about you coming through.” His lips are pursed so tight they’re white. “Where are you going? You said you wanted me to meet you for dinner!”

“I wanted my boyfriend to meet for dinner, not whatever you’ve turned up as!”

“Wait, David, I’m sorry, I was...”

“Being the asshole you keep saying that Brian is!” 

MICHAEL

Every part of me wants to tell him to fuck off, but I can’t do that until I’ve got Brian and I locked down! My mood is not helped when I get to the dining room and I can’t see him.

As I go to do another circuit, a guy calls me over. “Have you tried lost and found?”

“Huh?” 

“Thought you were looking for the dignity you left the last time you were here.” He and his friends bray like jackasses. “But if you’re looking for David to grovel too, he just left.”

Their laughter follows me out. “David!” I yell as I see his car pulling out, but he doesn’t stop. As I head back to the van, all I can think is that I can’t wait to painfully dump him, then make him sell the house for my share!

Fifteen minutes later, I pull into the drive. For once, relieved he’s so precious about his car. He won’t take the back roads as they will ruin the finely tuned and delicate suspension…apparently. I hurry inside. Glancing at the clock. I see I’ve got at least ten minutes, so I open the wine and wait.

HALF AN HOUR LATER

MICHAEL

“Michael!” I jerk awake. I push away a furious Princess Daphne’s hand and scrub my face. “What’s that about?! Ems! Can you get a cloth and the stain remover, please?”

“What?” I mumble, wiping my mouth then look where she’s pointing. Groaning, I right the bottle, but the damage has been done, and mostly on the sofa and rug. And where’s the other glass?

“He’s in the bathroom! What did you drop?!” Mel laughs as she enters. “Oh, hi, Michael. So what was it you dropped, Daph?” She asks. “What was that?!” She yelps, hopping backwards. She sits down and inspects her foot, pulling out a sliver of glass. “How the hell did this mess happen?!”

Daphne is looking at the hearth. “You bratty cretin!” She screams as Emmett comes in. “You did it on purpose!”

“I can replace the glasses and wine, plus get the rug cleaned. I fell asleep, it was an accident!”

“Bullshit!” Mel explodes. “You’re always like this when you don’t get your way. You fuck things up for others. And how do you propose to replace the glasses and wine given to her by her late grandmother?!”

My guts clench. “Daphne, I swear to you, I just grabbed the first ones I could. I just wanted to spend some quality time with your Dad after dinner.”

“So why aren’t you with him?!” Emmett seethes, I frown. “Best get that always stinking assitude over there, or he may see the light with Evan! I’ll, once more, clean up the frigging mess you made! Mel, you calm Daph down.”

DINER - TEN DAYS LATER

DEBS

It's been absolutely brilliant being back here! At first I was nervous, having to admit that I’d been a bit of a Lady Asinine when I left, then once the store took off, being a witchy-bitch of a windbag. However, after some well deserved shellacking, it’s as if I’ve never been gone! 

“Hey, Grandma!” Gus hollers from the door. “Leave him there, go inside!” He hurries out. Kiki and I frown, but before I can go check, Michael enters from the back.

“Ma, David’s just parking. Wanna grab the booth so I can tell you about our break? Oh, those few days to reconnect were just what we needed. Why are you wearing an apron?” He frowns. “Never mind, tell me after our chat. Need to piss.”

Reconnect and tell me about his trip, my ass. I think. He royally fucked up and had to suck up to David and Daphne. He’s sure as fuck not fooling me with this bullcrap about wanting to ‘telling’ me about his trip!

“Can I be off now, Kiki?” I ask just as Hunter arrives, looking like a hot mess. “What the hell?!” I gasp.

“Hi, Grandma, just gonna use the bathroom, then I will explain!” He runs past, blushing. “Gus has Pharoah!” 

“Okay, honey!” I call back. A second later, a chuckling Gus comes in. “Was it just you two?” 

“Nope, thank God, or it would’ve been a lot worse!” He laughs. I put the bowl of water down. “Floats, burgers and fries. Two coffees, one black to go and a latte, please.”

“Sure, Debs, but you lock up next Tuesday.” Kiki grins. I nod and take off my apron. “You okay, doll?”

“Yes, thanks Kiki.” Hunter sits in the booth next to Gus. “Did you order?”

“Yep! So spill it, what got you dragged into that hedge backwards?!”

“Combination of a squirrel and the boomerang!” Ben laughs as he saunters up. 

“Hi, honey!” I cry, kissing his cheek. My heart soared when he insisted that I do that. “Go on and join them, will bring the coffees over.”

“You will not, you’re on holiday. Now go join your family!”

MICHAEL

These last few days have been so frustrating and expensive! I had to replace the rug and the wine, as well as give Daphne the money for the glasses, but it was because of Evan that David and I ended up in Eastport. I had to get him out of his grasping claws! I was furious when I got back to Woody’s and they were sitting there laughing and joking. It was when I overheard Evan trying to set up an appointment for his ‘ankle’ that I knew I had to get David away from him. 

I shall take some petty cash from the store account though. I know we’ve got some residuals, as it would’ve been busy with the new releases, but the biggest frustration is not being able to find out about Brian. I did call Ma a couple of times, but could feel David listening, so just kept the chat about the store. 

However, despite giving her space to fill me in, she didn’t. Now I’ve ensured that I’ve got a few minutes before David comes to find out, which I’m determined to make the most of!

“Did you enjoy your trip?” I’m startled by Ben’s arrival. 

“Yes, how’s things been with you?” I reply, my heart beating. “Are you staying?”

“Yeah. we’ve worked up an appetite and he’s rather keen on the floats.” He replies. “See you out there.”

“Sure.” I grin, waiting a few seconds for him to hit the stall, then check my reflection - absolute perfection - what a great welcome back gift for me!  

DEBS

“Hi, Gus!” Michael squawks. “Where’s he sitting and David not here yet?”

“Hi.” Gus returns. “Who’s sitting where? And, sadly, not yet but hopefully soon.”

“Your dad of course.” He replies. I scowl. At least ask him how he is first before getting to your goddamn fix. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to his gurns of frustration when I didn’t let him know what was happening with Brian. “Wouldn’t want to get in the way.” Kiki’s loud ‘sneezing’ makes him scowl albeit briefly. “So which one?”

“Which one what?” Ben drawls, sliding in next to Gus. 

“Kiki, we're ready!” I call out.

“Never mind.” He replies, sitting next to Ben, much to his Ill disguised dismay. “Sorry about that, Davd, had to run to the bathroom!” 

“I did wonder why you sprinted off.” David sighs. “Here you are, Debs, this is from both of us.”

I wave him in, Michael looks puzzled. “Move down, David, there’s plenty of room.” 

“Hunter’s sitting there.” I state as I sit. “Is he doing okay, honey?”

“Yep.” Comes the muffled response, followed by the rest of him. “He’s had a good run, so it’s nap time. Oh, hi, who are you?” 

“I’m Michael, your Dad’s best friend. So you’re Hunter, pleased to meet you finally.”

“Michael, Michael, so you’re him. You’re pretty small for a guy who caused my dad so much pain. Not so pleased to meet you.” He stares at an astonished Michael. “This is where you own your shit and say sorry, everyone else has, and you as his best friend should’ve been the first.”

“I-I’ve not had his number.” Michael mutters, I enjoy the heat of his embarrassment. 

“You ably demonstrated that loud mouth of yours when you were caterwauling about not being able to spend time with him in Woody’s. You just need to do it and mean it.”

“When he gets here I will, I promise.”

“Fine. I will be polite until then. You don’t get nice from me until he’s happy with you.”

“And how long will he be?” Not since Blake burned him has he looked so owned!

“He’s back from Cali around six tonight. He’s closing down the office and the houses, plus doing a massive shop for me and Gus.”

“Although we share Dad, we do not share his love of shopping!” Gus fist bumps Hunter. “So glad that Mom and Auntie Ems went with him. At least he can calm down his excesses! Did he really get you Gucci football boots?”

“No, he got me Balenciaga running shoes.” Hunter sighs. “At least he was a bit practical when it came to the cleats, they’re Nike.” 

“Custom made.” Ben chuckles. “Be grateful for small mercies, the sole was almost gold plated.”

“You’re joking?” I giggle.

“Nope, I almost had to cancel his credit card.” 

“Kiddo is ridiculously extravagant. I love him for that!” I cackle.

“So who are you then?” Hunter turns to David.

“Michael’s boyfriend David. You’re dad’s a character.” Hunter’s face twists. “In the best possible way I mean. Despite his absence, he was welcomed back with open arms by Liberty Avenue, and everyone else.”

“Oh, okay, nice to meet you then. And I know what you mean about the welcome, someone almost broke a rib when they got him on his own. What do you do?”

“I’m a chiropractor.” 

Hunter snake eyes Michael. “So you get your funsies at work?”

“Huh? What do you mean funsies?” Kiki frowns while putting down the coffees. 

“With him as a boyfriend, you must get the butt stuff done at work. Do you have an arrangement with someone?”

“That’s…” Kiki smiles. “...a proctologist. What you said is…” She guffaws. “...unethical. Funny, but unethical!” Despite going back to the kitchen, the open hatch means we can still hear her. Michael glares at David, who concentrates on his coffee, whilst Ben and Gus make no attempt to hide their smiles. Kiki clears her throat. “You want the food to go or you gonna eat before you guys leave?!”

“We’ll take it to go!” Ben replies. “When do you get off, Debs?”

“Am off now.” I smile then jump. “He’s awake.” I move out, and after a couple of seconds, Pharoah emerges. He hops onto the seat next to David, sniffs, then licks him from jaw to forehead, before pushing himself between Hunter and David with a contented sigh, which moves David down a bit. “I’ll stand up shall I?” 

“Michael will. Let her sit down.” Hunter orders. “Papa Ben would rather sit next to Grandma anyway.” Silently, he gets up, face mottled, lips pinched. Whilst I settle down, he goes to get a chair. 

I give him his phone, he mutters his thanks, then leans across to check out Pharoah. “Nice dog. What kind is he?”

“Pharaoh hound. Shall we eat in the car?” Gus looks between Hunter and Ben, the latter nods. “Okay, now Grandma, remember not to feed or mention them at all. We won’t be there to help you, you promise?” 

“Debs, you’re blushing.” David smirks. “What happened?”

“Was that when you had to take an emergency day?” Kiki’s eyes gleam. “And Cupid had to bring around half the kitchen supplies?”

MICHAEL

“Emergency day? Kitchen supplies?” I question tiredly, this is turning to another crapshoot for me!

“Debs is back in the diner, where she belongs. Lucky for her, I’m an understanding boss!” 

“Debs, what happened for you to need an emergency day and when did you return to the nest?” David taps her hand, she goes redder. “Never heard you so quiet, boys wanna explain?”

“Sure, Uncle David. Oh, that's okay, isn’t it, since that’s what Gus calls you?”

“That’s absolutely fine, Hunter. Proceed.”

“Not sure about the nest thing, but we went around for dinner - the four of us, well five if you count the lunk here. Grandma was doing the m-words in bone broth, for this place, right?” Ma nods, head in hands. “It was literally seconds after we unleashed him that he launched himself at the stock pots. Thank algebra it wasn’t boiling, they went everywhere! We had to pull out the stove as well, hours it took us to clean then paint.” 

I wait for them to stop laughing. “Algebra?”

“Not allowed to f-bomb, so that’s our word.” He replies, while pulling out his phone. “Christ, Gus, check it out!” He hands it across, Gus nods and smiles. “So who do you reckon, Aunt Mel or Ems?”

“As a matter of interest, Ben, why aren’t you with Brian?” I ask, hoping for some good news!

“Because Mom needs to see the houses in Cali and New York before he temporarily closes them down. And she’s got to see the school to enrol me and stuff like that.” Gus hands the phone back. “Aunt Ems for sure, he knows she’d like that. Mom doesn’t get her taste, he does.”

“And why is he with Brian and your Mom?” I keep my tone neutral, even though I’m so hurt.

“Dad asked him.” Hunter swipes the screen. “It really is very pretty.” He looks at Ma and smiles. “Hope you like it.”

“You can show me.” I grab this chance to bond with him. “I know what she likes.”

“I could, but we want it to be a surprise. You have a big mouth and no filter, remember?”

KIKI

“Hunter, you’re crossing the line.” I state, whilst the silent graves that are Debs and David are making his royal brattiness twitch. “If you can’t be polite or nice, then don’t deal with him.”

“So we're going now, right?” He stands up. “As a Kinney, I only have so much restraint...”

“Yeah let’s go!” Ben nudges Debs out. She takes her time, whilst he’s about to combust. “See you around eight.” 

“Okay, send me photos.” Debs orders as she kisses them all goodbye, then watches them fondly. I am so happy for her, and fervently hoping the brat doesn’t turn her sixpence with guilt. “Right, let me get him home.”  She reaches for the leash, but he grabs it first. “Michael?”

“We'll take him to ours.” He snipes, clipping the leash on. “You can follow and we talk there, then we’ll drop him at yours. Come on.” 

“Fine, we’ll go back to yours, but David will take Pharoah, you follow.” Debs declares. “This way or no way.” He hands him the leash and stalks out, we wait for him to hail a cab. “I’m sorry, David, for everything I did where you and your home is concerned. I’ve apologised to Daphne too. Will you accept it?”

At first he’s stunned, then embraces her warmly. “Thank you, apology accepted. And I’m sorry you’re going to have to speak to Michael alone, I’ve got an appointment.”

“You okay?” She squeezes his arm.

“I’m fine. It’s for Evan. Will you be okay with Pharaoh in the car?”

“Maybe I should take a cab?” She frowns.

“Or maybe?” Ted calls from the front booth. “You could let me drive, I want to speak to you about the store.”

“Ted! How long have you been there?” I hug him after Debs.

“Long enough. Debs, I’ve been checking the accounts like you asked. Yes, you can sell to Kip, Michael or anyone else you want.” 

She frowns at Ted. “Who else would I sell it to if not them?”

“Would you consider me? I’m serious if you are?”

“I’m not sure how Michael will feel about that!” She pats his cretfallen cheek. “But that’s for you and him to deal with, let’s shake on it.” All jaws are on the floor. “Would it be okay if Ted drove, David?”

“No, I’ll reschedule Evan, there’s no way I’m missing out on you telling him about this new partnership for all the tea in China!”

“Hang on, I’m coming too!” I declare, and five minutes later, we're off. “You know what, Debs.” I whisper. “You’re back.”

“I know.” She replies. “And here to stay.”