CHAPTER 20 - MAYBE A HOOK UP AND NOT HANGING UP

MICHAEL AND DAVID’S LOUNGE - AN HOUR LATER

MICHAEL

“I was so embarrassed!” David snaps. “I’m getting more fucked off with your behaviour!”

“David, fucked off is so harsh, why can’t you see how hard this…”

“You make things hard for everybody!” He pours a large glass of red. “If you weren’t sneering at or trying to shaft Evan, you were borderline duplicitous with Ted and Daphne, longing to play Felix Nightingale with Brian, or, even worse, dismissing the feelings of Gus!”

“What about my feelings?! Brian says one thing, but the minute Gus wants to play victim, he backs him up! It should’ve been me he…”

“No he shouldn't! As they keep saying, you hurt them!” His gaze is cold. “I didn’t want to believe it, but it’s the only plausible explanation for how you’re being. You want to split up, don’t you?”

Yes, yes I fucking do! I got with you to spite Emmett, no way does he deserve this kind of life after having Brian be his sudden protector is what I want to say; instead I play panicked. 

“No, of course not! I love you and did the minute I saw you, why would you think that?!”

“You did?” He twirls his glass. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” 

“Why did you instantly fall in love with me…” I’m aggrieved as he finishes the wine that I bought and never had any of! “…but take almost eleven months to say it.” 

“I wasn’t sure you felt the same.” He scowls as I reach for him. “Why are you being so distant?”

“You weren’t sure I felt the same? That’s funny, since I said it two months before you. We were going for a birthday dinner for Debs. You were late because of some last minute bidding you and Kip were doing…” 

I remember that night vividly. I had booked Alla Famiglia, but they wanted his choice of the French place. I closed early so that I could play sick at the last minute. However, I bumped into a vaguely familiar guy, who said that I was way too cute to be sad. When he suggested we go to the baths, I saw it as a fitting reward for me having to sit through that dinner. I could feel his mouth on my…

“…how can you have an erection now?!”

It dies immediately, and not just because of his shrieking. I often feel like I’m on a dissecting table because of his cold and clinical approach! “I was recalling how we were that night…” He flushes. “…remember how great the love making…”

“That must have been with someone else, because you were ill and made Debs take you home.” He snaps, reaching for another bottle. “Do I get to hear the other lie?”

“I’ve not lied!” I fume. “Now where are you going? I thought you wanted to talk.”

“To get a larger glass; you keep thinking!” He snaps.

BRIAN’S HOUSE - SAME TIME

SNUG

DEBS

It’s just me, Jen, Ben and Ems now. Everyone else is on their way to George’s to talk contracts and new jobs - Blake is going to bring Ted there. 

“We’ve washed up.” Gus smiles. “Please, can we finish the movie then go to bed?”

“What are you watching?” Ems waves a bottle of red, we all nod. “And how long is it?”. 

“Fire, an Indian lesbian movie - caused riots when it was screened in 1997. Just under 2 hours, we're half way…what? We’ve watched I Like You, I Like You Very Much first, so now it’s time for mom to be represented.” We stare at him. “Well can we?”

“Sure, brush your teeth first.” Ben chuckles, we blow the kisses back as he gently closes the door. “It’s the way it made perfect sense to him!”

“I know!” Jen smiles. “Was Brian like that?”

“So much.” I sigh, then clap my knees. “Okay, I’m feeling sleepy and weepy, time to...”

“You’re going Debs?” Brian enters with a tray and two mugs. “Can someone put chocolate liqueur in these, please?”

I pour generously. “Yes, kiddo, you two sleep well. Now can I be cheeky and ask if Blake can drop me home?”

“He’d be happy to.” He busses my cheek. “What, hold on, mom said…” He mutters to himself then seemingly happy with whatever, nods. “Around seven, Kiki said you weren’t working until late on Friday, so that should give you enough time to have a bath and get ready for your shift. I’ll call him, night all!” 

“Why am I leaving at seven, it doesn’t…oh!” I feel a little choked. “I’ve not got anything to wear tonight.” 

“Daph is sending Blake with stuff.” Jen pats my chair. Smiling softly, I retake my seat. “He missed you so much. He came close to calling, but didn’t want to deal with Michael. I’m so happy he got his mom back.”

“Not as much as me.” I sniff, accepting her tissue. They’re silent as I compose myself. 

“You two know Evan well…” Ben looks between me and Ems. “...what would he be doing at the hospice?

“Most probably running the main office. He’s the dog’s bollocks in office management. Worked as Chief of Staff to the Presidents of Fortune 500 companies, makes a pretty penny and likes to give back.” I smile proudly. “Oh that reminds me, do any of you know what fleshlights are?” 

“Why?” Ems looks repulsed.

“Michael was mutt…just tell me.”

“And I bet he meant Evan?” Ems scoffs. “A fleshlight is another name for a rubber vag, it’s been appropriated by spiteful folks for spiteful means, i.e., Michael”

“If the other people he refers to are you or me…” Ben grimaces. “...I will break his teeth. With anaesthetic of course.”

“Not the full dose, he needs to feel.” I snap. “Besides I think he’s going to be needing a fleshlight of his own! He and David aren’t going to be having sex, angry or make up!”

“Now that I can't understand.” Ben looks thoughtful. “Angry sex, I mean, make up absolutely. As that is a reconnection, but what’s the point of having sex when angry? You get off, yeah, but emotionally, it would feel like you’re hurting the person.” 

“I agree to an extent!” Ems clinks his glass. “If you’re both angry at the same thing, but not at each other, then yes have it. I mean like Brian and Justin, they were angry at Michael, so they did that.”

“I have two questions: why did you want to and did you believe he was drunk?” Ben asks quietly. Ems goes bright red and shakes his head. “That’s the belief answered, now the why.”

“You and Brian?!” I gasp. “When?!”

He tops up his glass. “A couple of months before he left. I asked because…” He goes redder. “...we’re roughly the same size and I was curious. Why did he tell you?”

“I asked, because…” He dead-eyes him. “...I didn’t want comparison to be a thief of joy. He played like a drunk because he wants you to remain Honeycutt, not another butt.” He picks up his glass. “Shall we go?”

“Yes.”

Once the door closes we toast each other. “So what about us? Want to set up some Tinder profiles?” Jen teases. 

“Why the hell not?” I guffaw. 

“If you’re serious; you do mine, I do yours!”

I reach for my phone. “And we need to tell Joan, so she can make sure we follow through!” 

“Oh hell yeah we do!”

DAVID AND MICHAEL’S BEDROOM - AN HOUR LATER

DAVID

He’s in Debs’s room for the night. He said that I was tired and needed some rest after ‘my misunderstandings and over emotional pronouncements’. As he wasn’t he would get everything ready for when he and Daphne begin their partnership, and once he’d told her absolutely everything about Ted she’d want Kip back.

When I pointed out the lateness of the hour, he smirked like he had earlier, declaring that Kip wouldn't mind. That arrogance had me calling Daph to warn her. She said she was ready for him and I was to leave her to deal with it. 

Now Michael’s misfortune is twofold, because an unrestrained but prepared Daphne is truly terrifying - as her mother found out; then there’s what I will do to him. She hadn’t hung up yet when she was raging to herself that she was going to enjoy thwarting those plans as much as he did fucking Kip in her van.