CHAPTER 21 - SHOTS ABOUT TO BE FIRED
MICHAEL
I can’t believe David didn’t come to my room last night - he should’ve tried to make up with me. I’m so distracted that I pour the scrambled eggs on the floor.
“This is his fault!” I seethe as I clean. “If he had woken me up with coffee instead of honking the horn as he left, I wouldn't be doing this!”
“Morning, Michael!” Daphne trills as she enters. “Made up with Dad?”
“There was no…” I gawp as Evan joins us. “…what are you doing here?!”
“Coffee, need a pick me up. Why…oh where’s my watch?”
“Lounge, think we started there, right?”
“Yep.” He scratches like a gibbon! “Why are you on your knees?” Before I can react, David returns. “Morning, Dr Dave.”
“Uh, morning, what’s…”
“Why are you back?” She returns his watch without a shred of shame! “Thought you had a couple of appointments?”
“Needed to message you but left my phone...” He leans against the counter. Why is he smiling at this?! “...what have you two been up to; were you playing safely?”
“Playing safely?!” I cry. “You don’t have an issue with them doing that in our house?!”
“Her house first. Who was better, Evan?”
“Me, the answer is me!” Daphne snickers. “Although I could ask Ben if I could try…why are you down there?”
“Checking how I got you and Brian?”
“I was not!” I growl, trying not to spring up or go slow! “Go and get dressed, Evan, we need to speak to…”
“Nobody is speaking to Daphne about her intimate relations; it's none of our never mind. Unless he hurts her, then it becomes police business. Got it?”
“Implicitly.”
“Now that subject’s closed…” She stares me down. “...what’s the message?”
“Your mom’s attorney’s been in touch.”
“What the fuck for?!” She snarls, slamming down the mug.
“Darling.” He rubs her shoulders. “We will deal with it like we always do.”
“What do you mean attorney, what's happening?” I frown.
“Same bullshit; scummy-mommy wanting to try and be a family again! I won’t…”
“You said she was dead!” I’m so happy to have an out that’s their fault! “How could you two lie to me about that?!”
“I said she is ‘dead to us’!” Daphne hisses, gripping the counter.
“Are you insane?!” Evan scoffs. “She’s lived in Missouri for years. David, did they say when it wants to meet?”
“No, they want me to call back and arrange. Look, would you mind staying with her, please?”
“Of course not. Come on, Daph, let’s go and…”
“...take it out on your ass instead of their faces!”
“And by ‘their’ she means you and her mom!” Evan snaps as they depart.
DAVID
“Of all the things to tune out…” I snarl. “...you pick that!”
“She said dead!” He thumps into a seat. “You two lied!”
“Let me get my phone…” He looks oddly smug when I return. “...so I can call your Ma, she…
“…will be as hurt, disgusted and disappointed as I am, if not more so!”
We simmer quietly whilst waiting for her to pick up. “Hey, honey, is everything okay with you two now? He can be such a fucking bonehead sometimes!”
“He’s surpassed himself!” I exclaim.
“Give me a few seconds to find some privacy…okay, what happened?”
“Who’s with you that you need privacy?” He demands. “You’ll never believe…”
“I want to hear from David!” She states.
“Where’s Daphne’s mom?” I ask.
“Missouri…” Her groan reverberates. “…what did he say?!”
“That we lied about her being dead, even though you were both there when we explained how her cheating on me led to her ‘demise’!”
MICHAEL
My mouth is dry, stomach crawling as I now recall how Daphne’s gleeful description of how, despite the prenup, she left her mom destitute. Then shattered her reputation so badly she had to move to get away from the fallout!
“Michael, I will be home in an hour, meet me...”
“I need to speak to David and Daph...”
“Leave now!” She bellows. “David, I’ll call you after. What brought that up anyway?”
“Her attorney called, Evan is calming Daph down…” He chuckles. “...not so sure how he’s going to be walking afterwards though!”
“Oooh, we wondered where they went! Get her to call me later, sweetheart!”
“Will do, Debs. Bye.”
DEBS HOUSE - TWO HOURS LATER
DEBS
As we pull up outside, I see his van. “I can keep going.” Blake chuckles.
“Great idea, but no.” I sigh. “When’s your date with Ted, there is a date with Ted, right?”
“Yes…” He blushes. “…but we’ve postponed it for a week. We've gotta move.”
“Why? It’s a lovely place, that bed’s so comfy!”
“Michael has the address.” He growls. “Which he didn’t ask for.”
“For crying out fucking loud; why must he be such a blundering asswipe?!”
“I like you too much to answer that.” He smiles as he gets out. Of course the asswipe comes running. As he gets alongside my door, I open it on him. I smile as he hobbles to the stoop, red faced. “If you’ve left anything at the house, I’ll drop it over for you.” He kisses my cheek and hands me my Louis Vuitton - I still can’t believe it's mine - case.
“The bed maybe?” I grin.
“I’ll see what I can do, have as good a day as you can.”
I watch him drive off whilst counting to ten. “Shut up and get inside!” I growl, shoving him ahead.
MICHAEL
“Why did you take Brian’s address without asking?” She demands.
“Is that a real…Ma! What is wrong with you?! First you try to kneecap me with the door, now you’re slapping!”
“Because words don’t seem to be getting through!” She shouts. “Why did you take his address?!”
“I didn’t…what are you doing?!” I shove him back and scroll through his phone. Sighing, I hand it back. “It's not there, is it?! So who told you that bullshit? Was it Ben, the jealous mincing prince…”
“Mincing prince! Would love to be there when you say that to either of their faces. Know this, bonehead, if he leaves again, I will circumcise you without anaesthetic!”
DEBS
“You need to tell me who said such bullshit about me taking his address; gonna move the van closer!”
After he bangs out, I grab his phone. Scrolling to the entry ‘Grosso Stallone’, my heart sinks as Brian’s address is there, I’m about to delete it when I have a much better idea. Smiling, I change it instead. Watching as he, as ever, turns a 3 point into an 8 point turn, I make another call. “Hey, Joan, can’t be long, you guys don’t need to move, I’ve fixed him. Tell you how later.” The next thing I check is the messages that he sent to ‘CokecunTed’. I am incensed at the lies he told him and how he kept him and Ems apart.
I put it back and watch him preen in the side mirror then psyching himself up and storming back inside. “Well?” He barks as he sits. “And where did you get the money for that…” He gestures at the case. “...from Ted?”
“It doesn’t matter since they were wrong, right?”
“Of course, though you should really apologise for even asking.”
“I won’t.”
“Why not?”
“Fucked off over you calling them liars over her mom, remember?! Explain why you would come out with that?! Daphne…”
“...should apologise to me first, for screwing Evan in my house. So disrespectful, she knows how…”
“...jealous you are that Brian fucked him and not you? She’s not the only one!”
“Kip!” I gasp as he comes down the stairs. “What are you…”
“...traitor!” Michael fumes. “Why didn’t you sell to me?!”
“Because you wouldn't pay the price I wanted; she would and did!”
“How long have you been asking?” I sigh.
“A year at least, right Michael?”
“Why are you here and where’s ours keys?!” He demands.
“Daphne’s got the store ones here's yours.”He hands them over with a smile. “As for why, I’m taking all the stock that was here back. I am glad you’ve taken your head out of that ass, leaving more room for his; take care of yourself, you are a lovely lady.”
“Just fuck off outta here!” He orders. “Why are you going out the back?!”
“That’s where I parked my van, idiot!” He glares hatefully. “You have to improve everything about you to be in with half a chance with Brian! Have the life you deserve.”
MICHAEL
BASTARD! Why did he have to say that!
“Slam that and I slam you!” Ma warns. “So your penny pinching got you in balls; if you had bought him out then Daphne couldn't have, could she?” I grab my phone, stung by the truth of her words. “You're not leaving yet! How are you going to fix the liar situation?”
“I’m not jealous of Evan!”
“Also not answering the question, how are you going to fix it?!”
“I don’t know.” I admit. “On the plus side, she may back out of the…”
“That’s why you said it?!” She yells, I stumble backwards. “Get lost, you dick!”
“Ma, wait, I didn’t mean that, I was just…”
“I swear to you that she’s going to stay your partner for as long as you both shall live!”
DAPHNE’S ANNEX - THREE HOURS LATER
EVAN
“Did you manage to nap?” I lift the blanket, she flops down. “I make really good egg fried rice, you need to eat. Fury and coffee will only give you ulcers.” She rests against my shoulder. “Yes to food?”
“Please. Thanks for running me home, you didn’t need to do that.”
“How’s it gonna look if I let my boss’s daughter go home by herself in the wilds of Pittsburgh?” We lapse into silence. “It was a great night and morning, apart from that bit. We’ve got to watch the rest of the season.”
“It was and we will, so great to find another Naruto fan. Dad has every single episode on DVD and backed up on his laptop!” She laughs.
“So Novotny isn’t a fan?”
“No thank god.” She grimaces. “You know, I’m gonna get dad to play along with me strapping you. Okay with that?”
“Giving him an ulcer I can get behind, let’s play away, but safely.”
“Hahaha…” She cringes when her stomach rumbles. “…you like beer?”
“Of course!” I declare, helping her up, we walk in easy silence to the kitchen and start to do brunch. “Why did you ask about beer?”
“Oh!” She grabs a step stool to dig in the back of a cupboard, grinning triumphantly as she hands me a pack of beers. “Novotny loves these, I make a point not to offer them to him…”
“…I’ll get some delivered to you!”
STORE - SAME TIME
MICHAEL
I’ve been staring into space for the last two hours, wondering how my day has imploded like this. I don't know what fills me with more fury and revulsion: having to make it up with Ma, be a loving boyfriend/pseudo stepfather to David and Princess Daphne until I can separate Brian and Ben, or finding out that Kip has gone to one of my rival collectors in Harrisburg and sold the stock that was at Ma’s to them!