Chapter 33

“So what did you think of your first Christmas with the Liberty Avenue gang?” Gus asked his sister as he looked up at her over his milkshake.

He, Luke and Jenny had met at the diner for lunch, deciding that it was time to spend some time without the adult members of their family for once.

“It was... interesting,” Jenny said after a short pause in which she considered her words.

“The good kind of interesting or the bad?” Gus asked with a frown.

He knew that their family could be a lot to take in at times and he knew that Jenny had only been with them for a bit more than a month and that things with her mom were still rough and that her mom's behaviour was hurting her, so he wasn't quite sure what she meant.

“The good,” Jenny smiled. “Everyone was so nice and it was so lovely to spend Christmas with so many people who all enjoyed spending time together. It was a new experience, but a good one. It's just such a big change from what my Christmas used to be like.”

“How did you normally celebrate Christmas?” Luke asked, looking at Jenny from curious eyes. He could only ever remember having these big family celebrations with the whole family around and couldn't really imagine any other way of celebrating Christmas.

“Not at all, really,” Jenny shrugged. “Mom's a Jew, so Christmas wasn't really a big thing for her which sucked, because... it's a big thing for everyone else. You come back to school and people ask you what kind of presents you got and you have to say: 'None' because she never cared about it. Usually Christmas was just like any other holiday. A day off with no work. Sometimes we'd have takeout and watch some movies, but most of the times she'd still be focused on one case or another, so I was mostly left in front of the TV on my own, watching all these Christmas movies about happy families celebrating the holidays together when it was never like that for me.”

“That sucks,” Luke said emphatically.

Jenny shrugged once more. “I didn't know anything else, so... I guess I got used to it. It only made this Christmas that much more special because... for the first time I felt like one of those kids in those movies. Waking up, having a tree, finding presents with my name on it, having a big dinner with the whole family... for the first time I felt like I had a real Christmas.”

“Have you heard from her at all?” Gus asked, not having to explain who he was refering to. Everyone in their booth knew that he was talking about Melanie.

“No,” Jenny shook her head, trying to sound as if she didn't care, but hardly able to hide the pain in her voice. It was clear that she was hurt by the fact that her mother hadn't contacted her at all since that day in court and hadn't talked to her at all.

“What a bitch,” Gus said, shaking his head angrily.

“I am not surprised. She probably considers me a traitor now because I chose this family in Pittsburgh over her. I didn't choose her, so now I am probably dead to her. Just like you were when you moved to live with your Dad.”

“I didn't really have a choice,” Gus said. “Not that I regret moving in with my Dad, but... it wasn't like I chose him. It was a judge's decision that I had no say in. Back then I would have wanted nothing more than for her to stay a part of my life. It's not that I chose him over her... Now on the other hand... it wouldn't even be a choice.”

“No, it wouldn't be. Your dad is awesome,” Jenny smiled. “I can't believe he got me those piano lessons as a present. I only mentioned once in passing that I'd have liked to learn how to play the piano and here he goes and gets me lessons...”

“Dad is pretty over the top when it comes to presents,” Gus chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “Papa always has a hard time stopping him from spoiling us too much. If it hadn't been for Papa vetoing him a couple of times, I am sure I would have gotten horses, trips to wherever I wanted to go and a Ferrari for my 18th birthday.”

Jenny chuckled, then turned more serious. “It just feels like he gets me, you know? Like he understands me at times when no one else does.”

Luke frowned for a second, then looked at Gus who just nodded which confused Luke even more.

“I think it's because he feels a kinship with you. He feels like what you're going through with Melanie is a lot like what he went through with his parents... and... I think even though it's not his fault, he feels like he should make it up to you in whatever way he can because he's been through it himself and knows how much it sucks,” Gus said slowly.

Jenny nodded. “Yeah, I think you might be right. He told me about his parents and... it sounds pretty horrible what he went through.”

Gus sounded serious when he spoke next. “He doesn't really talk about his parents much... at least he never really did with me. Most of what I know, I know from Papa. They really fucked him up from all I heard and... I guess lucky for us, he knew that he never wanted to be like them and wanted to do better than they had done with him. I think he's been such a great Dad to us because he knows how much it sucks to have bad parents and he never wanted that for us.”

“I really like him and I think he's a wonderful person. Both your dads are,” Jenny said. “Really, everyone in the family seems so nice. I mean, even Grandma Jen told me to call her Grandma and to consider her my grandma and we're not even related.”

“Yeah, she's amazing like that. I am not really related to her either, but she's never treated me differently than she'd treat Luke or Vicky. Just like Papa never did. I remember when I was small and I asked my Dad if I could call Papa Papa even though he wasn't really my father and... in his own way he tried to explain it to me even then. He said that it wasn't about who we're related to by blood, but about who we love in our hearts. And that it's okay to love our chosen family more than our real family. At the time, I was mostly happy because it meant that I could call Papa Papa, but now... that I am older... I know what he meant. Sometimes our blood relatives are a disappointment and don't love us in the way they should and as much as we might want to change that, there's nothing we can do about it, but it's okay to love other people and make them our chosen family. And... that's really what this family is, you know? A chosen family. They all chose to love each other for who they are as people, as individuals, because they love who the other person is. It's priceless really.”

“I like that,” Jenny said quietly, her voice emotional. “You don't have to love them out of a wrong sense of obligation, but you love them because you want to and actually like them. It's a nice sentiment.”

“It is, isn't it?” Gus agreed with a smile. “God knows they can be annoying as hell at times, but really, I wouldn't change any of them. They are all amazing the way they are and I really love all of them.”

“Yeah, so do I. Everyone has been so welcoming, so nice and friendly. I think I really like this family.”

“Your family,” Gus said seriously. “It's your family now as well.”

“Yeah,” Jenny agreed, a smile spreading on her face. “It's nice to finally have a family. And I think I couldn't have found a better one.”

She then turned to Luke, looking at him with a frown. “You okay? You've been awfully quiet.”

Gus now turned to Luke as well, noticing that his brother looked like he hadn't even been listening to their conversation at all. “Luke?”

“Huh? What?”

“Earth to Luke? Someone home?” Gus asked, still looking at his brother with a frown.

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” Luke muttered.

“Don't hurt your head,” Gus teased with a smirk on his face.

“Haha, very funny,” Luke muttered as he rolled his eyes.

“Okay, so what was so important that you completely ignored our conversation?” Jenny asked, slightly amused by the banter between the two brothers.

Luke shrugged, but didn't reply.

“Come on, you can tell us. It must have been pretty serious,” she said, now sounding more serious than before.

Luke sighed, then looked from her to Gus and back. “I was just wondering... what it would be like to meet them.”

“Meet who?” Gus frowned, not sure he understood what or who Luke was talking about.

“Our grandparents,” Luke said quietly, looking at his hands on the table.

“Okay, you lost me here. We have met them? Grandma Jen, Grandma Debbie, Grandpa Carl... they were all at our house just yesterday,” Gus pointed out.

“No, I don't mean them,” Luke sighed. “I mean... the grandparents that we never met. Dad's parents... though I guess that would only be his mom since his father already died... and what about Papa's dad?”

“What about them? They are fucking homophobes. Why would I want to meet them?” Gus asked.

“Aren't you interested to know what they're like?” Luke asked, looking at Gus from curious eyes.

“I can't say that I am,” Gus admitted. “Everything I have heard about them makes them sound like pretty horrible people.”

“But they're our grandparents... they're our relatives. What if... what if they have changed and aren't like that anymore,” Luke mused.

“They don't sound like the people that would change,” Gus gave back right away. “You know that Dad's mom is a crazy religious nutjob and you know that Papa's dad kicked him out of his family home when he was hardly older than you're now just because he's gay.”

“But what if they regret their behaviour now and feel sorry about it?” Luke asked.

“Why would they?” Gus frowned.

“I don't know... Dad was sure that he had done the right thing and had been right in lying to Papa. He wasn't, he regretted and everyone forgave him. What if... what if they regret as well? Shouldn't they be given a second chance as well?”

“Only I don't think they regret anything,” Gus pointed out quietly.

“What if they do and just never had a chance to tell Papa or Dad?” Luke muttered.

“Luke, look, I am not quite sure why you would think that... if they really wanted to let Dad and Papa know that they had changed... there would have been ways. Grandma Deb knows Dad's mom. Aunt Molly is still in contact with Papa's dad. If they really wanted to say something to Dad and Papa... there would have been ways.”

Luke considered what Gus had said, then nodded. “I guess, but... you have really never been interested in meeting them?”

“No, why? They're horrible people. Why would I want to let people like them into my life?”

Luke shrugged. “Because they're your family. Your grandparents,” he then looked up at Gus, “what about your mom's parents? Have you never wanted to meet them?”

“Not really, no.”

“Aren't you interested in her family at all?” Luke asked, not able to understand why Gus seemed to have so little interest in meeting the other members of his family.

“Look, from what I remember, they weren't even a part of my life when she was still in my life and after... well, after she went to prison... they never tried to get in contact.”

“How do you know?” Now it was Jenny who had asked the question, looking at Gus from curious eyes.

“Because Dad would have told me,” Gus said, sounding absolutely sure.

“Would he, though? He never liked them and you know he lied to Papa... how can you be so sure that he hasn't lied to you?” Luke asked.

“Because he wouldn't have,” Gus said, his voice still without any doubt. “Even though he doesn't like them, he knows they're my family and if they would have wanted to see me... He wouldn't have kept that from me. He would have let me make my own decision, even if he might have hated that decision. Come on, Luke. You know Dad! He would have been honest about them getting in contact, he would have been honest about them wanting to see me and he would have let me make my decision, no matter how much he might have hated it. But they never got in contact, so there was never any decision to make.”

“Aren't you interested in getting to know them?” Luke asked. “To see what they are like?”

“No, I am not,” Gus now sounded slightly annoyed. “I have a family that loves me and that I love. Why would I care about some douchebags who have obviously never cared about me?”

“Don't you want to find out why they never cared?” Luke kept on asking.

“No, I don't have to. I know. They're homophobes. Dad's mom is, Papa's dad is and my mother's parents are. They're all people who cast out their own children because of something they had no choice in. Because of something that shouldn't matter at all. I don't want to have hateful people like that in my life,” Gus said, his voice leaving no doubt that this was his final word on the matter.

“Well, I want to meet them,” Luke then announced.

“What?” Gus looked as if Luke had just grown a second head.

“What?” Jenny asked as well, sounding equally confused.

“I want to meet them,” Luke repeated calmly, looking from Gus to Jenny and back. “I want to get to know them. They're my grandparents. And... if you're right and they're just homophobic assholes... well, at least I'll know then. But I want to make up my own mind about them.”

“Luke, that's crazy,” Gus said, shaking his head. “You know what they're like.”

“No, I don't,” Luke said hotly. “I don't know them. I've only heard stories, but I've never met them. And they're my family, so I want to. I want to make up my own mind about my grandparents. And I don't need you to like it or approve of it. This is what I want to do and I'll do it.”

“You can't, Luke,” Gus almost pleaded now. “How would you even go about it?”

“You said it yourself. Grandma Debbie knows Dad's mom, Aunt Molly knows Papa's dad. They must know where they live. Maybe they're even listed on the internet.”

“Dad and Papa won't like it,” Gus said calmly, hoping to make his brother see how foolish he was behaving. “They'll be pissed.”

“Why? You said that they would let us make our own decisions even if they didn't like those decisions. Well, this is my decision. I want to meet my grandparents.”

Gus shook his head. “What I meant is, they would let us make our own decisions after talking it over with us. Do you intend to talk it over with them?” He asked, already knowing the answer before Luke gave it.

“They would only try to talk me out of it. I'll do this, Gus. Whether you like it or not.”

“Luke, this is crazy,” Gus said quietly, looking at his brother intently. “This can only end badly.”

“What's the worst that can happen?” Luke asked. “That I realise that they are assholes and I end up with the same grandparents in my life that have always been around? Doesn't sound like such a bad outcome...”

“And what do you think would be the best that could happen?” Jenny asked carefully, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“Maybe they've changed. Maybe they might have problems with Dad and Papa, but want to get to know me... us...”

“Luke, I think Gus is right. This sounds like a bad idea,” Jenny agreed with her older brother.

Luke just shrugged. “I don't need either of you to approve. I am old enough to go and meet them on my own.”

“This is crazy,” Gus just muttered, shaking his head. “Why would you want to do such a thing?”

“I told you, they're my family. I want to make up my own mind about them,” Luke replied calmly.

“You're going to be in so much trouble if Dad and Papa find out,” Gus said, looking at his brother darkly. “Do you realise that?”

“Why? Who says they even need to know?”

“Luke, these things always come out.”

“If I don't tell them and you and Jenny won't... No one needs to know...”

“Luke, I agree with Gus. I don't like this...,” Jenny said quietly. “At least talk it over with your dads first.”

“Why? They're my grandparents, not mass murderers. What do you think is going to happen? The worst that will happen is that they will send me away and that's it,” Luke said, then got up and grabbed his jacket.

“Where are you going?” Jenny frowned.

“To see if I can find out their addresses,” Luke said, then headed for the door of the diner.

“Right now?” Gus' eyes widened. “Are you for real?”

“No time like the present, right?” Luke replied without even turning around to look at them.

“Is he fucking crazy?” Gus asked wide-eyed before he turned to Jenny. “What the fuck?”

“I think this really means a lot to him,” Jenny tried to reason. “He really seems to want to do this.”

“God, this can only end badly,” Gus said, before he got up as well. “Better stop him before he gets himself into some trouble.”

Jenny nodded as she looked at him while he put on his scarf and jacket. “Let me know if you were able to change his mind, okay?”

“Yeah, will do,” he said, before he quickly kissed her cheek, then turned to leave after his wayward brother.

***

“Brian?” Justin looked troubled as he made his way into their gym where Brian was trying to run off some of the extra calories he had consumed over Christmas.

Brian looked up from the treadmill and immediately stopped it when he saw the troubled expression on Justin's face. “What's going on?”

“Mom called,” Justin only said which didn't really explain anything to Brian.

“Is she okay?” He asked, wondering if something bad might have happened.

“She had a call from Craig,” Justin continued, looking at Brian from still troubled eyes.

“Okay,” Brian muttered, not quite sure what to make of that. “What about?”

“Where did Gus and Luke say they were going?” Justin asked instead of giving him an answer.

“To meet with Jenny for lunch at the diner,” Brian frowned, wondering why Justin would ask him that. He had been present when the boys had announced their plans earlier that morning. And he wasn't sure what that question had to do with Jen's call, though he would find out a second later why Justin had asked.

“She said Craig called her because... because Gus and Luke showed up at his house.”

Brian looked at Justin as if he was crazy. “They what?”

“He said they came to see him.”

“That can't be right,” Brian muttered. “They're at lunch with Jenny.”

“Brian, why would he say something like that if... Mom said he was really angry... called them disrespectful and told her to make sure they never come to see him again,” Justin continued.

“Why would they?” Brian asked, looking at Justin in total confusion. “That doesn't make sense.”

“I don't know,” Justin muttered, seeming utterly shocked by what his mother had told him, clearly still trying to come to grips with it.