Justin arrived at the hospital after breakfast the next day. He'd brought his to-do list and Brian's mail. After checking Brian's room and finding it empty, he went to the therapy room and found Brian walking slowly toward the mat table. He was still using his walker. Justin walked to the table and sat in a nearby chair.

"Hey you," he said as Brian noticed him sitting in the chair.

"You're late. Thought maybe you weren't coming," Brian remarked.

"Of course not, I'm here. I just had a shit load of stuff to do. I went by your place and picked up your mail, too." Jose waved Justin over to the mat, and Justin picked up Brian's ankle and began the range of motion exercises.

"I think I'll hire you as my delivery boy," Brian teased. "On second thought, I'd better not, because then I'd never get rid of you."

"You're a natural, Justin. If you ever get tired of the art thing, you could always make a living as a therapist," Jose remarked as he watched the gentle but strong way Justin moved Brian's limbs through the motions of the exercise.

"Nah, I think I'll stick to the art." Justin picked up Brian's other leg and completed the motions.

"You did really well this morning. I think we'll try the cane this afternoon." Jose helped Brian up from the mat table and placed him in his wheelchair. "Do you want to go sit in the sun room?"

"Okay. Justin, why don't you bring your sketch pad and work. Bring me my mail and a magazine, Newsweek would be good." Brian waved his hand toward his room and Justin left to retrieve the items.

Justin sat in a chair facing Brian, watching him read his magazine. Brian occasionally would place his thumb to his front teeth and then absently put it down in his lap. Justin concentrated on his sketch, oblivious to Brian's surreptitious glances his way. Brian watched Justin, marveling at the young man's concentration and skill.

"Don't you ever get tired of drawing me?" Brian asked.

Without looking up, Justin said, "No. I feel something different every time I draw you. Strong emotions are the artists' best inspiration, and you evoke very strong emotions in me." He smudged an area with his thumb.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." Justin shrugged.

"Why is that?"

Justin put down his pencil, letting it rest on the drawing pad, and looked at Brian. I think this falls under talking and I didn't even start the conversation. Maybe he really is ready to change.

Justin got up from his seat and walked over to the window, watching the cars pass by. It was almost lunch time, and the traffic was picking up. "You're an intense person, Brian. You intimidate people."

"I see. I don't intimidate you," Brian observed. "Yet, you think I'm intense."

"No, you don't intimidate me. I see the real Brian behind the façade." Justin continued to look out the window, preferring not to face Brian. "There's a caring man underneath your tough exterior."

Up to this point, Brian had accepted Justin's need for space, but wheeled his chair next to Justin, reaching out his hand to touch Justin's arm.

"Look at me, Justin."

Turning, Justin looked at Brian.

"You're one of the strongest men I know. You don't need me for inspiration."

Justin leaned down, placing a small kiss on Brian's lips as he whispered, "Yes, I do need you and I always will." Justin stood up and walked behind Brian's chair. "Time for us to go back to your room. It's almost lunch time, and you don't want to miss the wonderful food." Justin gave Brian his sketch pad to hold and he pushed Brian back to his room.

Shortly after they arrived, the dietary aide brought Brian's tray. Justin arranged the bed cart so that Brian could eat from his wheelchair.

"A turkey sandwich. How novel. I wonder if they can screw that up, too." Brian said and then bit into the sandwich. "The bread is a little stale, but not bad. Wish Daphne would show up again with food from the diner. I never thought I'd associate the Liberty Diner with good food, but it's better than the crap they serve here."

A knock on the door interrupted before Justin could respond.

"Come in," Brian called.

"Dada! Dada!" Gus called out as he raced to Brian's chair. Gus stopped at the chair and looked at Brian. "Why are you wearing a bathrobe at lunchtime? And why are you in that funny chair?"

Brian put down his sandwich, motioning for Justin to move the bed cart. "Come here, Sonny Boy," Brian motioned for Gus to come closer. "Can you climb in my lap?"

"Brian, do you think that's a good idea?" Lindsay asked, frowning slightly.

Brian looked at Gus, pretending to frown and pout his lips. "What do you think, Sonny Boy? Think you can be a big boy and climb up here?" He patted his lap.

Gus looked between Lindsay and Brian and nodded his head. "Sure, Dada. Momma says I'm getting bigger all the time." Gus climbed gently on Brian's lap and gave Brian a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Why are you in the hospital? Are you sick? Sick people go in the hospital. Jack, my friend at school, said his grandpa went in the hospital and died. You're not going to die, are you?" Gus asked rapidly and gave Brian another kiss.

Brian kissed the top of Gus's head while he held the boy around his waist, preventing him from slipping from his precarious perch.

"No, Sonny Boy, I'm not going to die. I fell down and got hurt, but I'm getting better every day."

Gus thought for a few minutes as he scrutinized Brian's face and body. "Didn't they put any band aids on your hurts? Mommy always says that bandaids make the boo-boos go away."

Brian smiled at the innocence of his child. "I had some band aids, but the doctors took them off."

Gus nodded his head in understanding. "So if the boo-boos are gone, why are you sitting in that funny chair, Dada? And how come you get to wear your pajamas? You always make me get dressed."

Brian rolled his eyes. He's my kid, alright. Full of questions, and wants an answer to everything. I don't want to frighten him, but I have to tell him something. "I was hurt for a long time and my legs are tired. I'll be good as new soon, and then we can go to the park."

"The park. Yeah! Did I tell you that my friend Peter has a new soccer ball and we went to the park the other day and played?" Gus rattled off. He smiled at the memory. "His dad said I was really good and asked me where I learned to play. I told him my Dada taught me." Gus squeezed Brian's neck with his arms. "Maybe you could show Peter how to kick the ball and we could play together." Gus kissed Brian and turned at the laughter in the room. "Jus!" he yelled as he scrambled off Brian's lap and ran to wrap his arms around Justin's knee caps.

"Hey Gus," Justin said as he bent down to hug Brian's son.

"I thought you were in Nude York. Momma said you were busy painting and couldn't come over to play. Can you come over and play? Momma bought me some new chalk and I've been making pretty pictures on the sidewalk. When it rains, they go away. It's sad." Gus peered out the window and turned around again to face the adults. " It isn't raining now and we could use my new chalk. I'd share. I'm good at sharing. My teacher gives me pretty gold stars when I share with Tommy and Angela. They're my friends. Maybe they can come over and play too. They'd like you, Jus." Gus enthused to Justin.

"Woah, Sonny Boy. Slow down." Brian grinned as he looked at his son.

"I can't come play now, Gus. I'm going to New York. New, not nude. Nude is when you take your clothes off- like when you take a bath," Justin explained as he ruffled Gus' hair.

Gus nodded in understanding. "New York. Okay."

"But I'll be back in a few days. I promise to come over when I get back and we can draw chalk pictures."

"I'm going to New York to see Justin's pictures," Lindsay told Gus. "When I get back, we'll invite Justin over for dinner. Does that sound like a good idea?"

Gus smiled. "Can we make spaghetti? I like spaghetti."

"I think that can be arranged." Lindsay bent down and whispered in Gus' ear as she pointed to his back pack on the floor.

Gus walked over to the back pack and looked through it. Gently, he pulled out a piece of paper and brought it over to Brian. "Dada, I made you something," he said as he handed Brian the piece of paper.

"You did? Well, let's see." Brian opened the folded paper and saw a picture of two stick figures holding hands and a little stick figure standing beside them.

"That's you and Justin and me," Gus explained. "This is the loft." He pointed to a big building in the background.

"Thank you, Sonny Boy. I'll have Justin hang it on the wall," Brian said as he held out the picture.

The dietary aide knocked on the door, and Brian told her to come in.

"Are you finished with lunch, sir?"

"Oh, Brian, we interrupted your lunch. I'm sorry," Lindsay apologized.

"No apologies, Linds. Justin can get me another stale sandwich. The ones in the cafeteria aren't any better then this one." Brian motioned toward the tray. "Yes, I'm done." The aide took the tray away.

"Gus, tell your daddy goodbye. We have to go to the gallery for Momma to pick up some papers," Lindsay instructed as she picked up Gus's back pack.

Gus went to Brian's wheelchair and attempted to hug Brian. "Bye, Dada. Get your legs better so we can go to the park."

Brian leaned forward and kissed Gus' head. "Bye, Sonny Boy. See you soon."

Lindsay walked to Brian's chair and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Take care, Brian." As she was walking out of the room, she remembered. "Oh, Brian, I almost forgot. When is the flight to New York? Where do I pick up my ticket?"

"I had Cynthia change the ticket to you; you can get the confirmation online. The flight is Friday afternoon. There will be a limo to pick you up from the airport, take you to the hotel, and later to the opening. Tell the driver if you want him to stay while you're at the opening or pick you up later. Then, he'll pick you up on Saturday morning about 10:00 and take you back to the airport."

"Oh, Brian. Thank you," she said appreciatively and walked back to the chair to give him another kiss on the cheek. "I can't thank you enough."

"Didn't you say something about having papers to pick up?" Brian reminded Lindsay.

Lindsay smiled at Brian and walked over to Justin. "Bye Justin. I can't wait to see the show." She kissed him on the cheek and left with Gus.

"You're good with him. I've missed Gus so much. When I get back, I'll make sure to go over and see him," Justin smiled as he reviewed the conversation with Brian and Gus in his head.

Brian shrugged his shoulders. "What's to be good. I just take him to the park sometimes." Brian's stomach rumbled and Justin laughed.

Justin leaned down and kissed Brian on the cheek. "I guess that's my signal to find you another stale sandwich. Any preference?"

"Whatever you bring will be basically inedible, so no, I don't have a preference. Hurry though. I want to eat before Jose, the torturer returns." Brian's mouth turned up slightly as he waved Justin to the door. "And don't stop for a smoke. It's very distracting kissing you when you've smoked and I can't take a drag."

Justin frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"Justin, sorry's bullshit. Remember that. Now go. I'm actually hungry."

Justin walked quickly to the cafeteria and purchased a turkey sandwich, an apple and a chocolate shake. I'll say the shake is for me, but I know he'll ask for some, and then I'll let him drink most of it. Brian is so funny. He takes food off my plate all the time, but won't order it for himself. Can't admit that he wants some ‘high fat, high calorie, totally non-nutritious food' in his body. He's such an enigma. Watches every morsel that goes in his mouth, but will pop a tab of E or take a hit of K without blinking an eye. Maybe when I come back, he'll slow down on the drugs... Yeah, like that'll happen. Justin returned with Brian's food and placed it on the dresser. He moved the bed cart to Brian's chair, and then placed the food on it.

"What is that?" Brian asked as he pointed to the shake.

"A chocolate shake. It sounded good. Want some?"

"A sip."

Justin handed the drink to Brian and left it conveniently on the tray. Just as he suspected, Brian drank about half the shake.

"Bring me that portfolio again. I need to pick out my latest Taylor original," Brian commanded.

Justin sighed loudly, but didn't argue. He dug in his messenger bag for the portfolio and handed it to Brian.

"What's your favorite piece?" Brian asked as he flipped though the pages.

Justin flipped to the next to last page of the book and stopped. "This one."

"Tell me about it," Brain said.

"Brian, you know I don't like to do that. Art is very personal, and each person interprets a piece in their own way," Justin explained.

"Tell me what you see."

"Okay," Justin said, resigned to the task. "I see hope. See how the darks colors at the bottom swirl into a tunnel, that opens up to a firework of bright lights. There's hope at the end of the tunnel."

"I can see that. Tell me why it's your favorite."

‘I'm an optimist, Brian. I think there is always hope, and a world without hope is something I can't imagine." Justin sat on the bed, looking at Brian as he viewed the picture.

"Good enough. Give me your phone and call your agent. I want to buy it before the show." Brian held out his hand toward Justin."

"You don't have to support me, Brian," Justin reminded him, but dug out his phone, found the number, and handed the ringing phone to Brian.

Brian was placed on hold and he said, "Give me my wallet. I'll need my card number."

Justin handed Brian his wallet and he dug out the credit card.

"Let me do this," Brian said as he put the ringing phone to his ear. "Yes. I would like to purchase a Justin Taylor painting. The one titled 'Hope'."

... "It's already sold," Brian repeated as he raised his eyebrows.

.... "'The Heat' is available. Hold on."

"Justin, show me your portfolio and the picture called 'The Heat'," Brian requested.

Justin flipped through the pictures and showed him 'The Heat'. This one was a conflagration of deep reds, oranges and yellows, spewing out of a deep cavern. Brian stared at it for a moment, and then spoke into the phone.

"I'll take it. My card number is 444-5555-6666. Expiration 6/07."

... "Deliver it to 55 Briton Drive. Wierton, W. Virginia."

... "I understand it won't be delivered until after the show. I want it insured."

"Thank you. Good bye." Brian flipped the phone closed.

"I can't believe you. You just bought a $10,000 painting!" Justin exclaimed.

"So? I like your work. Now come here and kiss me," Brian demanded.

Justin walked to Brian and kissed him on the lips. Their kiss quickly turned intimate, as Brian stuck his tongue in Justin's mouth and Justin reciprocated.

A knock on the door interrupted the two men. "Time to walk, Brian," Jose said as he turned the wheelchair towards the door. Turning around he asked, " Coming Justin?"

"Of course," he answered and followed the two men to the therapy room.

Later, Brian had completed his therapy, and Jose helped him to the mat. "You're progressing well. I'd say another four to five days and you can go home."

"Here that, Sunshine?" Brian smirked as Justin pick up his leg to begin the range of motion exercises.

"Will he need to do these exercises when he gets home? I don't remember doing physical therapy after I got home," Justin asked.

"You've had therapy before? What happened?"

"I got bashed in the head with a bat. I was in a coma for three weeks, and in the hospital for ten weeks. I had to relearn to use my hand," Justin stated as if the incident was no different than getting a cut finger. Justin picked up Brian's other leg and began the exercises on it.

Jose looked at the young man, watching him exercise Brian's limbs. "I didn't know. You've made a great recovery."

"I had a big incentive to get better. I needed to see this asshole," Justin grinned.

"Careful, Justin. You're tarnishing my wonderful reputation," Brian smirked.

Justin laughed. "I wouldn't exactly call it wonderful. Anyway, it worked out in the end."

"Time to get back in your chair, Brian" Jose lifted Brian, placing him in the chair and wheeling him back to the room. "You've been sitting all day and you're tired. I'm putting you back to bed." Jose placed Brian in bed and went to his chart to make notes of his session. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Jose," Justin said as he left the room. Justin turned toward Brian and noticed the man's eyes were closed. "Are you sleeping?" He whispered. Brian didn't open his eyes. Justin picked up his portfolio, placing it in his messenger bag. He picked up his sketch pad, drawing Brian as he peacefully slept.

Brian woke up an hour and a half later. "Shit. I fell asleep, didn't I?"

Justin nodded his head, "Yep. Don't worry. I used the time wisely. You make a great model when you sleep. You don't talk or move too much, especially when you're really tired."

"Whatever. Don't you have to leave and go pack for Nude York?"

"That was too funny. If only he knew how true it is. He's a little young, but one day he will just love Nude York." Justin looked at the clock behind Brian's bed. "I didn't want to leave while you were sleeping. I've still got half an hour until Daphne picks me up."

"Whatever shall we do with half an hour?" Brian said as he raised his eyebrows.

Justin licked his lips and sat on the bed, his back to the door. As before he pulled down Brian's blanket and assisted him to pull his pants down just below his groin. Brian's cock jutted out, hard and dripping.

"I guess you're getting better. Going from soft to rock hard in less then five seconds," Justin teased.

"I'll have you know that I'm never soft," Brian said adamantly as he pushed Justin's face towards his cock.

Justin licked his lips and bent his head down to Brian's cock. He licked the mushroom head, inhaling the scent of his lover. Swiping the shaft with long licks, he bathed the organ until it was wet with saliva. He used his hand to rub up and down the shaft, while he sucked the sensitive head in his mouth. Brian watched as Justin blew him, smiling at the sight of his lover worshipping his cock. He pushed Justin's head down, making his cock disappear into Justin's warm mouth. Justin increased his sucking as he stuck a finger in the side of his mouth, wetting it with saliva as well. He trailed the finger under Brian, finding his hole and playing with the opening. Slipping it in, he heard Brian grasp at the intrusion. Brian quickly moved his body up and down, matching Justin's moves on his cock. Justin felt the quivering on the shaft in his mouth, and the tightening of Brian's ass muscles on his finger as Brian shot down his throat. Justin sucked down all that Brian shot and continued to lick the cock for a few moments. Brian tugged on Justin's head, pulling him up for a kiss.

"Why, you are a clever artist. I think that was a wonderful way to use your time," Brian smirked. "Your turn."

Justin looked at the clock. "I'll take a rain check. Just think, you might get to go home by the time I come back." Justin picked up his messenger bag and walked back to the bed. Leaning down, he pressed his forehead to Brian's. "Later," he said.

"Later." Brian repeated as he watched Justin leave his room.

Justin went down to the hospital circle and waited for Daphne. Opening the car door as she stopped in the circle, he tossed his messenger bag into the back as usual.

"Had a good day?" she asked.

"Pretty good. I blew Brian again this afternoon. Can't keep a good man down." Justin grinned at his clever retort.

"One of these days, you'll get caught. Then what will you do?"

Justin pushed the radio on and pulled down the visor on his side of the car to search for a CD. "Part of the fun is the blatancy of the act. I guess it is a gay thing," Justin mused. "What are they going to do? Kick him out. Arrest him?" Justin put the CD in the slot, watching as it got sucked into the machine. " Sorry sir, you're being arrested for public nudity," Justin giggled as he tried to say the line in a deep, serious voice.

"Why, Sir. I'm in a fucking hospital gown. Of course, it's indecent," Justin mimicked Brian's snark.

Daphne giggled. "Okay. Whatever, but still you two have no sense of decency."

Justin shrugged. "So, I got to pack tonight, but that shouldn't take long. Want to do something?"

Daphne shook her head. "Sorry, Justin. My friend, Cecelia called last week and asked me to attend a Party Lite party."

"What the fuck is a Party Lite party?" Justin asked as he looked at his friend.

"Party Lite is a candle company. They make those great candles that you're always raving about. You could join me if you want."

"No thanks. I probably should rest up. This weekend will be very long, and I need to be at my best for my fans. Speaking of fans, Brian tried to buy one of my pieces and the gallery told him it was sold. I can't believe I'm selling pieces even before the show opens!"

Daphne play slapped his arm as she maneuvered through traffic. "You are good, Justin. I told you that at your show. It's only a matter of time until all your paintings will be sold before you open a show." Daphne put on her blinker and exited off the highway. "Want me to stop at the video store since you'll be on your own?"

"Nah. I'm feeling creative. Maybe I'll do some drawing. I know I won't get a chance for a few days."

"Okay. I've got to be at Cecelia's at 7:00, so I just have time to change and then I'm off," she said as she pulled into a parking spot.

Justin took out his messenger bag and followed Daphne into the apartment. She ran into her room, changing clothes quickly as he went to the bathroom to shower. When he walked out of the bathroom, she was gone and he was alone.

He went to the kitchen and put a pizza in the oven and grabbed a bottle of Stromboh beer. While the pizza cooked, he grabbed his suitcase and started to pack.

"Damn! All my stuff is at my apartment in New York. Guess I really don't need to pack after all. I'll just put my toiletry bag in my messenger bag and go."

The timer on the oven dinged, and Justin got out the pizza. He cut it in half, placing the other half in the refrigerator, and then ate the pizza as he reviewed his list of things-to-do in New York. After cleaning his plate and putting his dishes in the dishwasher, he went back to the living room, pulling out his sketch pad and began drawing a picture of Gus sitting on Brian's lap.

_____________________________________________

Brian was alone and awake for the first time since his accident. His mind wandered. I used to enjoy my solitary nights in the loft, working on presentations, and then leaving late to catch a drink with the boys at Woodys or Babylon, but that was a lifetime ago. When did my drinking become a way to get through the night? Justin's right. He can see through me so easily. I need to be careful around him.

My days are now filled with therapy, visits from "family", and sleep. Lots of sleep. At least this time, I didn't have to lose a G-d damn ball to cancer! Of course, this time I have a new scar, a Frankenstein one that goes from the inside of my thigh clear down to my ankle. No more pickups at the gym for me. No guy would ever look twice at my package with that glaring at him. I still have Babylon. Like Justin said, it's dark in the back room and I'm always the top, so the trick wouldn't get a chance to see the evidence. Even if I want my dick sucked, I don't have to drop trou.

And of course, Justin. My days are filled with Justin. My stalker. No, not really, more like my Prince. Why can't I tell him what he wants to hear? It's not like I haven't told him before. He knows I love him, and hell, I asked him to marry me! I'm vulnerable around him...and that scares the shit out of me.

He wants to move back. I know it. I see it written all over his face. Part of me would love for him to be here, but another part of me knows he needs to be in New York. Shit. Life is not supposed to be this complicated.

"Who says it's not supposed to be complicated?" Vic said as he stood by my door.

"Shit. I'm dreaming again. I know I'm not dead!"

"No. You're not dead," Vic said as he walked into the room. "So, you survived this one. Learn anything, Brian?"

"What the fuck does that mean? Did I learn anything?" Brian answered, though he knew the vision wasn't real.

"Did the drugs and drinking help? Did they make the pain go away?" Vic clarified.

"I like to drink, and drugs are fun. Why am I making excuses to you? You weren't ever any poster child for the 'Just Say No' campaign", Brian chastised Vic.

"True. I never said I was, but I never overdosed and ended up on dialysis because I wouldn't admit how I felt," Vic reminded Brian.

"Is there some secret archive in the afterlife that lets you know all my shit?" Brian snarked. "Because if not, then you're just guessing and pulling straws out of your ass."

"Brian... You've always trusted me. Why don't you trust me now?" Vic asked.

"I guess... You were the only one who never hounded me. You're the closest I ever had to a real dad," Brian admitted. Brian watched Vic walk to his bed and sit down. "You know, I didn't think the dead got tired," Brian joked.

"We don't. It's just that I'd like to look at you from the same level, and standing feels like I'm lecturing," Vic explained.

"But you are lecturing," Brian reminded him.

"No. Not really. I'm just reflecting. You know the answers, Brian. You just have to be ready to act on them," Vic said as he smiled. "Sorry, my time is up."

"You're time is up. What, the dead still have to watch the clock? That sucks. Well, thanks I guess."

"Brian, you've been given a second chance. Don't waste it." Vic stood and walked out of the room.

Brian shook his head, clearing the vision and semi-awake dream from his head. "That is some crazy shit," he said out loud.

The aide knocked on the door. She placed the tray on the bed cart and brought it to Brian's bed. "Dinner. I'll be back in a while to pick up the empties."

"Thanks," Brian answered as he sat up in bed to eat his dinner.