Justin watched the streets of New York as the cab sped through the city. The subway didn't take him all the way to Sam's office, and he was in a hurry today. Normally, he would have walked the five blocks, but he was going to take advantage of the credit card advance he took on Brian's card. He figured he could pay Brian back with the profit he made from this show. He thought back to his first show at the GLC, and smiled at how far he'd come. He arrived at Sam's office, paid the driver and went inside. As he took the elevator up to the office, he reflected on his life.

Four month ago, this was it. ‘The Big Break.' A show with one exciting new artist, and a known artist who would bring in some top critics. He remembered he couldn't stop smiling when Sam had told him he'd set the show up. He'd worked hard in these last few months, painting and looking for inspiration wherever he could. Now it was here.

His whole world had revolved around this moment, and now he realized that it wasn't as important as he thought. While Brian had kicked him out of his life six months ago, he'd never totally believed it was over. Now he knew that he was right. Not for the first time, he realized that some sacrifices were not worth making.

The elevator arrived and he walked the short distance to Sam's office. Opening the door, he walked up to the young woman who was manning the outer office.

"Justin Taylor," he said as she looked up from her magazine.

She looked at her calendar and saw his name in the 2:00 slot. I'll let Mr. Harper know you're here. Have a seat."

Justin sat and dropped his messenger bag on the floor. His back was relieved not to be carrying that burden anymore.

A middle age man wearing an open collared yellow shirt and faded jeans walked out of the office. Sam, his agent, was quite the character. "Justin! Good to see you. Ready for tomorrow? The gallery called and several of your paintings have already sold. I'm impressed. At this rate, you'll be solo soon."

Justin followed Sam into his office and sat in the beige over stuffed office chair. As usual, he glanced at Sam's wall, filled with paintings from the artists he represented. The pictures changed as he sold the pieces after a few months. "Hey, that's one of mine! When did you put that up?"

"A few weeks ago. I always try to put up work from the artist if there is a show coming up. That way, people see your work."

"I never knew. Thanks."

"No thanks needed, Justin. My job is to sell your work, and I can't do that without getting it out there. If you don't sell your paintings, I don't make any money."

"True. So... you said in your email that you wanted to talk to me before the show?"

"Justin, you're a hot commodity right now. Your work is creative, innovative and cutting edge. While we were setting up the show, I had several galleries approach me about future shows."

Justin grinned, and wished Brian was there. He would help me celebrate in style."That's great, Sam! Tell me about them."

"There are two galleries that are definitely interested in having a show in the next year, and a third that has shown some preliminary interest. I'd need some fresh work to show them, and a timeline." Sam took a file folder from his bottom desk drawer, then pulled some contracts out from the top drawer. He pulled out the contract for the current show and reread it. "The exhibit tomorrow will run for one month. Do you have any paintings you're currently working on?"

"I haven't done a lot of work in the last month, being in Pittsburgh, but I have done a few small things."

"I see. It would be great if I had some fresh work to show them, but I understand. How's Brian?"

Justin slouched in the chair at Sam's original statement, but sat up when Sam mentioned Brian. "He's doing great. They're supposed to release him from the hospital on Monday or Tuesday."

"You're coming back soon then?" Sam asked as a courtesy.

Justin returned to the semi-slouch in his chair. He felt like he did when a teacher was scolding him for not having his homework done. "I'm not sure. I told him I would help him with his recovery."

"How much time is that going to take? I won't lie to you, Justin. You're hot right now. You need to have another show soon, or the public will forget you," Sam explained as he crossed his arms.

"I'll find the time. I know Brian wouldn't be happy if I messed this up," Justin frowned as he thought of their conversation when they cancelled the wedding. When he found out about the Art Forum article, he didn't want me to give up my chance. I didn't want to give it up either, but he was, and still is, the most important thing in my life. I want it all... and this time I think I can do it. With renewed determination, he smiled and said, "With the money from the show, I'll rent some studio space in Pittsburgh, and be able to paint wonderful new pieces for whatever shows you can get for me."

Sam saw the intense look on Justin's face and the smile that accompanied it. "You're moving back?"

"I was going to talk to you about that. It's not like you need to see me everyday, or I like I need to paint here." Justin held out his hand and absently pressed his fingers back to stretch them. "You said yourself that I've got a lot of buzz from the critics, and that's the most important thing. I can come here once or twice a month for openings and interviews. There's nothing that says I have to live here, right?" Justin explained as he pleaded his case.

Sam drummed his fingers on his desk as he listened to the impassioned speech. "No, you don't have to live here. I would just like to see your work as it progresses. I can't come down to your studio or meet you for coffee if you're not in the city."

Justin crossed his legs back and forth, but settled on both feet on the floor. "I could email you digitals of the work. That way you'd have something to show the galleries," Justin suggested.

Sam shook his head, no. "I don't want them intercepted. If you came in to the city every few weeks, you could bring me digitals."

Justin laughed. "You make it sound like we're dealing in top state secrets."

"Justin, this is your creativity we're talking about. People steal ideas as often as top state secrets," Sam admonished as he leaned back in his tall leather chair.

"I guess you're right." Justin nodded. "So you think I would be okay painting in Pittsburgh?"

"It's not the ideal, but since you're so set on returning, there isn't much I can do about it. Promise me that you'll come into the city for several long weekends every month, and we have a deal. You'll need to show up at some openings and be seen around town, too."

"I think I can manage that. Brian has always been my best subject and muse; you won't regret this, I promise." Justin grinned as he held out his hand to shake Sam's.

Sam returned the hand shake and gathered the contracts for Justin to review. "You never cease to amaze me, Justin. Most artists can't wait to move to New York and be a part of the art world. Here you are at the cusp of notoriety and you want to return home."

"Sam, you're married right?"

"Yeah. Twelve years."

"If your dream job was in another city, would you want to leave your wife?" Justin asked as he tried to help Sam understand.

"It would be a really hard decision, but I don't think I'd go if I couldn't take her," Sam answered. He placed the contracts in an envelope and sealed them.

Justin leaned forward as he explained the situation. "I was faced with that decision when I came to New York. Brian couldn't come with me- he owns a big advertising firm in Pittsburgh and he couldn't leave. I had to leave the most important person in my life to pursue my dream. I've got a second chance, and I want to try and make this work. Brian won't let me sacrifice my career to be with him. If I can show him the contracts for the upcoming shows, he won't have a valid argument."

"I see. Well, good luck, Justin. Have your attorney look them over, and you can courier them back to me. I'd like to get the dates locked in with the galleries. Now, be sure to be at the gallery by 6:00 tomorrow. " Sam handed Justin the envelope and Justin placed it in his messenger bag.

"Thanks Sam. I'll see you tomorrow." Justin stood, placed his messenger bag over his shoulder and left the office.

He was feeling rather euphoric, so he indulged again and took a cab all the way back to his apartment. He opened the door to his place, and was hit with the mess he had left. He started sorting dirty clothes and trash, and within an hour, the place was clean again. He took his dirty laundry down to the laundry room in the basement. He was glad that he didn't have to take it to a laundromat. He placed his money in the machine and returned to his apartment.

He had kept his moving boxes in storage, so he asked the superintendent of the apartment to let him in the room. He started boxing up his dishes and kitchen items. He knew he wouldn't need them, as he'd either be staying with Daphne or Brian, and neither would let him bring his stuff with him. He could see Brian having a fit if he tried bringing Big Q's finest merchandise into his loft. If he moved out on his own, he'd just have to buy new stuff. He actually had the money to do so now. That thought made him giggle. He was going to have money. YAY!

His big break; while he was excited about it, he couldn't get rid of the vague feeling that he shouldn't be here.

He needed and wanted to be in Pittsburgh with Brian. Brian had kicked him out six months ago, but he knew in his heart that Brian had still cared. Now, he was vindicated in his beliefs that they could have it all, but the situation was even more complicated than before. Brian was scaring him. He'd gone overboard, used booze and drugs to hide from his pain. He knew if he returned to Pittsburgh, Brian would probably stop using his pain management techniques of choice as much, but would he accept Justin wanted to be there? Justin was smart enough to know that Brian would fight him tooth and nail when he told the older man of his choice to stay.