CHAPTER 20 - SHOTS FIRED 

WOODY’S - THREE DAYS LATER

LINDSAY

Just as I’m about to text, Michael dumps his stuff on the table. “Sorry, meeting with Braydon overran! Let me get a bottle of Chocolate Box, sliders and…”

“…oh, what’s the occasion?!” I smile.

“Been a pisser of a day.” 

“You too!” I sigh. As he heads to be served, I cast my eye over the crowd; very slim pickings. I have tried to get him to drink near our new home, but he is a very stubborn creature of habit! 

“Hey, beautiful…” Loretta calls as she approaches. “…where’s Mikey? Or do we have you to ourselves?”

“We?” I frown as I hug her. 

“Dusty will be joining us in about half an hour. So Mikey?”

“At the bar getting Chocolate Box and sliders…”

“Be right back!” She’s true to her word. “He’s playing waiter. So how was your day? By that expression, it was as hard as mine.”

“To say the least! Was yours a court for shit or Mel for shit kind of day?” I am still smarting from the cold hearted and humiliating end of our relationship. 

“Bit of both; more Mel adjacent. Thank god he was quick!” She starts to make room for the wine and beer, although he doesn’t look happy. “What’s wrong?”

“No sliders...” He sighs. “…gonna grab the booth, someone bring my stuff.” 

“Let him come back for it, we're not his maids!”

“True, I need the ladies, can you wait or…”

“Go, I’ll take yours.” 

We haven't gotten two steps when a group of twink regulars claim the table. “Hey, that’s mine, bring it over buddy!” Michael orders. “What the hell?! I said bring it over!”

“That’s why it's on the floor!” One of them returns. As the door closes on raucous laughter, I doubt he will ever learn!

LORETTA

“Maybe I should check on Lindz, she’s been a while. Excuse me…”

“She’s just coming. I knew it, there’s stuff missing!” Michael grumbles, heading back to the table. He really should stop coasting off who Debbie and Vic are!

“Where’s our ‘lord and master’?” Lindz giggles. “And why isn't this open?”

“We need a corkscrew…ah, excuse me!” I declare as a barman passes. “Could you do the honours, please?”

“Oh, right, give me a sec.” He swiftly opens it, then takes out a card reader.

“What are you doing?” Michael demands as he returns. 

“Corkage. Sign is clear, there’s a fee for bringing your own wine.” 

“We bought it…” I protest.

“He said it was take out…”

“Oh for god sake!” I snap, handing over my card. “Are there sliders?”

“As I told him, we have everything except beef.”

“I see, please can we order a slider platter for four, with a green salad?” As I pay and the barman chuckles, Scrooge squirms. “Thank you.”

“Welcome, it’ll be about 30 mins.”

“That’s fine.” I take the wine, pouring our glasses first. “So you wanted to be cheap and because they didn’t have beef, we weren’t going to have any?”

“Sorry, I’ve had a bad day. Can you add fries to the order, whilst…”

“You want fries, you go order it!” I snap. “A bad day seems to be the theme. What happened?”

“Braydon has put it in the rental contract that if he feels I am being ‘overly familiar' he will terminate the lease, then I  have 24 hours to find another location and he keeps the deposit!”

“That’s a bit hardcore!” I scoff.

“That’s knowing him so well in such a short time.” Someone snipes. 

“Honey, behave…” Another chuckles. “...although I might pop in the store and ask him who drew that up.”

“How very amusing, next time say it to my face!” Michael exclaims.

“Which one?!” Is yelled back.

“So what caused your bad day, Lindz?” I forestall his retort.

“I’ve been trying to get a meeting with Justin, Sidney and Leda to discuss the…”

“Leda? Why are you speaking to her?” Loretta huffs.

“Oh, we hadn’t told you both!” Lindz exclaims. “She’s ‘working’ with Justin and some artists he ‘represents’…”

“Who would want to be represented by him, let alone her?!” She snarks.

“If it’s to be believed, Sam Auerbach.” Lindz scoffs. “I’ll be reaching out to his office and…”

“...get nowhere.” Leda sneers. “You will never be one of the few people he discusses his career with, unless you switch your cock lust from Brian. If you do though, you would...”

“...as a lesbian, I…”

“...would need to improve a fuckton: both your technique, she always faked, and your acting, she always knew.” She turns to Loretta. “By rights, I should…”

“Leda! Put up an arm or something, we're not all tall and gorgeous like you!” 

LINDSAY

 “You have got to be…” Loretta searches the crowd.

“Found her! She’s in the back booth!” Blake joins us. “She’s with your exes and Ms Hamilton Burger!” 

“Who the hell are you?!” Loretta fumes.

“Be quiet, Hamie…” He sniffs as Leda chuckles. “...ooh, are you guys going? You are? Now darling, you sit, I'll gather!”

“Where do I know that turd from?!” Loretta mutters.

“The hospital.” Michael whispers beckoning us closer. “He’s Blake, one of the ‘writers’ of Rage. I’ve got to play nice until I can expose them to the world when I get on the inside.”

“So when are you meeting up with them?” I ask.

“That’s proving very difficult, which is a sure sign that they’re hiding something.”

“Can I put these down?!” The waiter makes us jump. He sighs whilst we make room. “Is there anything else you need?”

MICHAEL

“Another bottle of wine, opened please.” I declare. “We need to…” I trail off as Mel, Ben, Emmett, Ted and another woman approach; as if my day couldn't get any worse!

“Daphne, hi!” Loretta stops her. “Why wasn’t I told she was coming, Mel?”

“Why would I tell you what my friend is doing?” Mel queries. 

“Friend?!” I scoff. “So Leda was the beard, how long has this been going on?”

“Michael, this is none of your business - stop getting on a bitchy scouting mission and focus on your own many issues!” Emmett lectures. “Come on sweeties, food's coming…”

“Lack of denial noted, isn’t that what you’d say when someone didn't answer the question?” I jibe. “Lindsay deserved better treatment…”

“We deserved better, which is why we dumped you.” Ben snipes. “Ems, what food? We’ve only just got here.”

“Ordered ahead, beef sliders, wings, fries and Aunt Lula got them to add the lamb ribs as a special. Oh and a couple bottles of red and fizz.”

“Hello all!” Ma approaches with Carl, she looks between booths. “Hey Markie, can we have the big table please?!”

“Sure we’ll clean in a sec!” 

“Thanks hun!”

“Ma what are you doing?!” I gasp, for once I'm not the only one horrified!

“Knocking heads together! Vic, we're on the head table! Now everyone moves!” 

TEN MINUTES LATER

DEBS

I wink at Carl. It was Lula’s idea; she is such a wily cat! She’d heard that Michael and Lindsay were going to be here, and in order to kill all the birds with one stone, she told Ben and Emmett to be in Woody’s at the same time. Mel was in the diner with Leda and insisted they come. Brian and Justin are joining us soon.

“Michael…” I growl as he tries to move our order to their end. “...you’re sharing a table, not food! Carl, would you mind?” 

“Sure honey, Mel could you help?”

“With pleasure!” She smirks.

“Rodney, over here!” Vic grins as he makes space. Mel and Loretta look thrilled, then Michael is poleaxed as they kiss. “How was your day?”

“Better than expected. I got a lot…oh hello dear one!” 

“Hi Rodney!” Loretta beams. “How lovely to…”

“Mel, darling how are you?!” He scurries around to hug her, Loretta clears her throat hard. “Ms Pyle.  Mel, I’ve not…what are you doing here?!”

“Rodders!” Daphne squeals as she hugs him. 

“Daph! Unhand my man!” Vic giggles.

“Oh hush, you get him all the time!”

“Introduced her already, Mel?” Michael carps.

“Michael, why don’t you introduce yourself properly...” Daphne sashays over, hand outstretched. “…and I’ll reciprocate.”

“At least she’s polite, you could learn from her. I’m Michael, best friend to Brian Kinney, and Lindz, Mel’s ex.”

“Daphne Chanders….” She shakes as she speaks. “...straight, mother of a daughter, soon to be junior partner in Mel’s part of the practice.”

“Junior partner?!” Loretta gasps. “I thought you were coming in as an assistant! And what part of what practice?!”

“I am overqualified. Mel’s a determined negotiator as well as a brilliant attorney. I wanted to work with the best. Although I don’t start for a year as I need to wind up my practice first.” She tightens her grip. “Now, you need to apologise for the aspersions you cast or our association is going to be very unpleasant.” The tug is firm, her gaze unwavering. “Unless of course Mel doesn’t want it…”

“I don’t.” Mel replies. “But thanks for putting him on the spot.”

“Melanie, I asked what part of what practice?”

“Due to an NDA she can’t answer that.” Daphne returns. “And your welcome, I’m good at that. Now let me at those sliders!” 

Michael’s pinched and red face is a joy. They pick at their food, whilst we make a show of enjoying ours. “I am stuffed! I can’t eat another thing!” I sigh.

“We can’t have that going to waste! We’ll take it home with us and…”

“You will not, Michael!” Vic snaps. “Ben and Ems can knock up something with the leftovers I’m sure.”

“Ben and Ems?” Lindsay looks at them, her jaw slowly dropping. Before she can crap on them her phone rings. “Hi, Dusty…on the large…yes we’ve ordered food and beer…but Dusty, hello, hello…”

“Trouble in paradise?” Blake simpers, earning a glare.

“Uncle Vic…” She buzzes. “…how long have you and Rodney, is it, been an item?”

“Long enough to spend several nights.” I snicker, the jealous puritans look appalled.

“Oh what the hell?!” Dusty growls as she approaches. “Lindz, Lore, can we step outside for a minute please?” 

Michael gawps at their departure, he turns back at the snickering. “I’ll find out later.”

“Hmm, no doubt…” Ems smiles. “...Benjamin!” 

“I was tucking your tee back in.” He leers.

“Aww the first flush of lustful love…” Ted grins. “...so happy for you two. I don’t think I’ve ever seen…”

“You two?!” Michael explodes. “Wow, just wow! How long have you been lusting after him?!”

“Hmm…” Ben stares him down. “...immediately. But I was fooled by you, such a wasteful timesuck.”

“Lindsay!” Michael bleats as they return. “Emmett has proved that he was never my friend, they’re ‘dating’!”

“How treacherous, but knowing his history it won’t last long!” She sneers. “Why are you doing this?!” 

“Because we want to.” Ems drawls. “And with the support of our friends, who you’re not, nor ever were, one we will continue to do.”

“Well you got that right, you were an acquaintance, a source of irritation who I was forced to be kind to, no longer! I was talking to the ‘beard’. Why can’t you leave Dusty alone?!”

“Lindz, please stop…” Dusty takes a beer. “...what’s left to eat?”

“Pick the bones of what’s near your other vultures.” Leda snipes, Michael looks between them. “Want me to explain why she’s so upset?”

“Leda, don’t you…”

“She’s got to pay spousal support. Backdated, after the shit job my former attorney and their friend did!”

“Look, why don’t…”

“You shut up before I refer you to the bar association? Yeah, why don’t you do that?!”

“Why would you?” Rodney frowns.

“Because she recommended the attorney to keep things as painless as possible - painless for Dusty is what she meant, there’s no way she didn’t know their connection!” 

“I had no idea they knew each other!” Loretta exclaims. “Once client attorney privilege came into effect, I…”

“And no prizes for guessing how they connected!” Ben spits. “Since we're talking about divorces, who is going to represent you in ours?”

“I’ve not even thought about it!” Michael seethes.

“Funny how when Brayden was your ‘boyfriend’ you were laying claim to the house and wanting support!” Vic makes some of us giggle. “You need to find someone quickly and…”

“I’ll represent you Michael.” Loretta declares. “And Lindz, it will be a class action as it were.”

“Thank you, I know you’ll do your very best for us!” Lindsay gushes, whilst Michael cuts his eye at Ben and Ems, who are finger canoodling, they are so cute!

“Well unless you have an objection Mel, I’ll also take on Ben?” Daphne states, when Mel shakes her head, she turns to him. “Ben, would you like me to do that?”

“Oh yes please!” He grins, whilst Ems leans across to kiss her cheek.

“Done, will send you both contracts at the end of next week. Leda and I should wrap up in...” 

“You’re Leda’s attorney?!” Dusty gasps. 

“Yep.” She levels the same cold gaze she gave to Michael. “We should close this in about a month, as long as you behave. Oh actually, that’s a point, when is Justin free to talk about the Rage distribution contract? Damn my brilliance is tiring!”

“Rage?” Michael gulps.

“She’s our attorney!” Blake crows and wiggles. “She’s an all rounder superstar!”

“Blake, stop it. What he means is that I specialise in both marital and commercial law...oh hello I was just talking about you!” 

“Hi all. And hi again. Who are you here with?” Justin frowns at Rodney.

“Me!” Vic beams. “We’re dating! And speaking of dating; you’re grooms and best are together!”

“Thank fuck!” Brian smiles whilst Michael looks gut punched. “Why is Rodney…”

“Dating Uncle Vic!” Justin giggles, pulling out a chair. “Sorry, what was I thinking?!”

“Well if his admin skills are comparable. I am surprised you’re upright! And I don't know what you were thinking, now sit twot!”

“Judge Russo…” Rodney gasps. “...is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes, calm yourself!” He chuckles. “I wanted to ask where he got the suit, you left before I could!”

“The one this morning? Armani, winter 2019, not sure if they’d have it though. I could have a word, if you give me your size.” Brian reaches for the wine. “Who’s driving?”

“You.” Justin declares. “So do you want him to Your Honour?”

“Oh yes please! Mr Kinney, Rodney can furnish you with all the details. Good evening everyone!”

JUSTIN

“Is everything alright Brian, why were you with a judge?” Michael froths. “Also, when can you come around to mine and Lindz’s? There’s so much we need to talk about, including the wedding, so it would just…”

“...no need for wedding talk.” I state, his eyes narrow. “Since we were in court with Judge Russo getting married a few hours ago.” I wait for the cheering and squealing to stop. “Who wants to see the ring?”

“Me!” Ems exclaims. “So happy for you two! Ooh, you must get Aunt Lula to do the party for you, she throws the best…”

“That’s wonderful.” Lindsay growls whilst Michael shakes like he has the DTs. “However, it would be best if Michael and I organise the party, since…”

“Brian, I thought you wanted Ma and Uncle Vic to give you away?” He states. “And what about the ring you were going to design?”

“They will, at our blessing, in about four months after we get the diamonds.”

“We don’t need to get them from there, it’s…”

“We are going to Japan to get them, end of discussion.” He glowers. “Get it.”

“Got it.”

“Good. Now more wine and food.” He kisses my head and goes to the bar, his besties swiftly following. 

As I clink with Ben, I remember our wedding in California three days after we made love. I had to go and put out a Sam Auerbach fire; he came and ended up saving the day. We were in a bar opposite a beautiful church celebrating his brilliance when he looked at it, looked at me and said let’s do this! And knowing his besties the way she does Aunt Lula said to get it registered here as well, and that way, they won't be able to try to ruin our actual anniversary!