CHAPTER 18 - EARLY BIRD EATS THE WORM AND OPPOSITE WILL DEFINITELY ATTRACT
MICHAEL’S BUNGALOW - A WEEK LATER
LINDSAY
The bungalow and its gardens are just beautiful. I am not as upset to be here as Michael and Mel think. Having always wanted to live in this part of town, however, Mel suddenly turned into a classist pinchfist, declaring it both elite and expensive. Admittedly, it doesn’t look as great with Michael’s stuff sprawled about, but it’s the perfect place to bring up my child until Brian moves us elsewhere.
Mel and her motley crew of pissing paisans evicted us like miscreant stowaways! Lord knows how long they had been planning this, there were three large vans with six removal men - who made light work of the packing, once they had gone through it! Debs and Vic were there, we thought to give Michael support, but no, they had come to take back some cookware, bedding and cushions that he had ‘appropriated’ now that Mel had thoroughly cleaned them, which was so embarrassing for him.
But her fait accompli was the statue. She had made threats before, but we had dismissed them as empty, big mistake…
Start of flashback
MOVING DAY
LINDSAY
“No, Michael, neither yours nor hers!” Ben declares as he picks up the crock pot. “We borrowed that from Debs, and that is from…”
“...the diner!” Vic grabs a box of pans. “When the hell did you take them?!”
“Carl said that it was…” Michael trails off at the arrival of an unimpressed Carl. “...why did you call him Mel?!”
“I didn’t!” She snaps.
“Of course you didn’t! Like you didn’t call him to bring you to Brian’s!” I rebuke her.
“My girlfriend did!” Carl declares as he approaches. “I recognise that…” He stares at the kitchen pile.
Michael and I were incredulous to be woken by loud music, laughter and everything we owned laid out in piles! Mel sneered that we were told what was happening and should be thankful that she didn't have an early dawn yard sale!
“Hey, Lula, how’s everything? Great, just great, can you ask him if he's missing a purple set of Le Creuset…” I glance at Michael, who’s blushing. “…yeah, I thought they were. Ben, can you grab those, please?” He does so and puts them in Brandon’s car. “And the person who called me was Justin, not Mel.”
“Justin?” Vic looks surprised. “How come?”
“Because he recognised them from when he was last here....” He slams the trunk. “...since he gave them to me as a diner warming present.” He glares at Michael. “Is there anything else that needs to be returned?”
“You’re expecting honesty from them? Especially her!” Leda barks. “Mel and Ben, sadly you know them best of all, let’s go through it and…”
“What do you mean, especially me?!” I seethe.
“I couldn't fight the Lindsay tsunami, but Brian will. Justin’s his hill too now!”
“Okay…” Mel glances between me and Leda. “...let’s just get them packed and gone. They have the movers for two hours, any longer will be charged to Lindsay, as….”
“Melanie!” I growl. “You can’t give them my credit card details, that is fraud!”
“I used our joint debit card - there’s only your salary left.” She returns. “Leda and I are going to make some coffee and put the champers to chill. Carl, Debs and Vic, can you supervise, please?”
“It will be my pleasure.” Vic smirks.
“How do we know you’ve given us everything?!” Michael demands. “We’re going to go back inside…”
“Trust me…” Mel states. “...there is nothing of your dreck, aspirations or malodorous intent left in…”
“I don’t trust you.” He interjects. “...this eviction will be dealt with later. Brandon, you and I need to talk about the store and my former marital home.”
“No we don’t as, thankfully, we weren’t married.” Brandon snipes as he scrutinises.
“Finally we agree on something. So you lied about giving Ben the money for the house and the store?”
“Nope. The money was for the store, which I’ve recouped. The house is in my name. Bring Musty Dusty if you want to talk stores. Mel, can you recommend anyone for Braydon…”
“Who is Braydon?” Mel looks between the pair of them. “What have you done, Brandon?”
“Sold my side of the business to Braydon Thorpe.”
Michael grins, this is perfect. I’ve met Braydon, who’s a dirtier version of Brian. I was a bit jealous when Michael was telling me about their date. He was a gentleman, very attentive, just wanting to know all about Michael, plus there’s no annoying brother either!
“Hey, Bray, it’s Michael, I really enjoyed our date.” Michael looks at Ben as he talks. “Sorry I missed your calls last night, I had to deal with a housing issue. An annoying bird tells me that you have bought a property from Brandon Bruckner, which is fortuitous because, wait, let me put you on speaker…”
“...why are you putting me on speaker? Where are you?”
“I’ll tell you about that later. As for the speaker, I just wanted to tell that annoying bird’s brother that…”
“Michael…” He sighs. “...I knew that you loved collectibles and comics, but I am disappointed and hurt that you have made that decision. Let’s keep things civil please.”
“What decision, I don’t understand, let me take this elsewhere…” Mel blocks his return inside. After twenty minutes, he hangs up. “Well start packing then.” He snaps his fingers at the removal men. “Lindz, let’s take our personal papers ourselves, wouldn't want them to go missing.”
“What’s…” I begin, he, however, mouths ‘not now’.
“It will take two of them to bring out the statue in the hallway.” He turns to Mel. “I want to supervise that, it needs to be carefully wrapped as I have a buyer for it.”
“A buyer?!” Debs gasps. “You said you’d never part with it!”
“Plans change. I’d actually sold it and most of the comics almost two weeks ago. Want to tell her the rest, Lindz?”
“I persuaded him to keep them in situ, just to irritate you Mel!” I crow. “A small victory.”
“How is it a victory for you? I was the buyer and I’ve made a good profit.”
“Oh shit.” Vic whispers. “How on earth did you engineer that?”
“Well…” Ben smiles. “...seems that sentiment has its price.”
“You?!” Michael fumes. “I want them back! After all you’ve both put me through, it's the least you can do!”
“Not him.” Ted steps between them. “Now before you continue to foam, remember that this is costing Lindsay money!”
End of flashback
“Lindz, where are you?!” Michael calls.
“Garden, bring the red and charcuterie board!” I must admit to being very pleased with the four bottles of Masseto I took from Brian’s office the last two times I was there; luckily for us I kept them at work! The scent of the bougainvillaea and the ripples of the pond are so soothing, I can see me painting under the willow. “So how did it go with Braydon?”
“Not great…” He grumps, setting up the table. “...he’s sticking to his guns. This is Justin and Mel’s fault. If they hadn’t been trying to get us drunk, I would’ve taken his call, he wouldn't have agreed to buy from Brandon, and I wouldn't be doing this!” I feel for him. When we got home he explained that Braydon says he never mixes business with pleasure, so if he wants to date him, he’ll have to move to another location. “Everywhere is so expensive too…”
“…has Brian called you back?” I ask, his sour look deepens. “Me neither. I get it that they want to see the chief and not the cocky usurper at work, but we need him too!”
“You don’t think they’ve gotten married, do you?”
“No, Vic and Debs are giving them away, remember? Trust me, with their championing of their ‘relationship’ they would’ve said.”
“True!” He brightens up.
“Let’s charge our glasses to his continued bachelor-studliness!” I smile as I pour. Within seconds, we're spluttering and gagging. “Oh fucking crap this is disgusting!” Thankfully he’d also brought some water; we almost drain the jug trying to wash away the taste.
“Brian paid for this?!”
“He said a client gave it to him. It must have been a bad bottle...” I grimace, pouring the rest into the pond. “…let’s open another, cover the board please.”
KINNETIC - TWENTY MINUTES LATER
BRANDON
Brian and Justin are on their way to the park. They were here with Blake and Ted, discussing floor space, which was easy enough. However, we now have to refurbish another conference room to an office, so that they can share. Turns out that Justin takes working deep into the night to another level!
“Hi, babe, you okay?” Dijon smiles as he enters. I nod, ignoring the butterflying of my stomach. “I really like this place, it suits them, even though Justin hasn’t been…”
“..he has, as he named it and found the location before he left.” I pull him closer, us saying hello is interrupted by a gale of laughter. “Hey, Charlie, what’s so funny?!” I call out to our office manager as he passes carrying a box.
“Madam Hoity opened them!” He grins. “She just rang to arrange a time to collect the other wines that Brian had said she could have as the others tasted off. I said I’d save her a trip and have them couriered.” I high five him. “I’ll see you later, must make sure this is securely wrapped and with her within the hour!”
“Yeah, see ya.” I chuckle.
“Care to share?” Dijon tickles my side.
“Stop!” I squirm. “We’d noticed a few months back that whenever Lindsay stopped by things would go missing. Charlie saw she was eyeing a couple of boxes of Masseto. So, we replaced it with a mix of salt, pepper, blackcurrant cordial, Worcestershire sauce and red wine vinegar!”
“Oh that’s brilliant…now go and put a note in so she knows exactly what you’ve done!”
LIBERTY AVENUE - TWENTY MINUTES LATER
BRIAN
“Justin…” I grump. It’s been a hell of a week, first one of our major clients wanted a worldwide pitch, then Rage needed rewrites and apparently the reason for that is in front of me. “...why am I looking at a store with an Asswipe statue in it?”
“Because I bought them. The statue was Michael’s.” He nuzzles my chin. “I’m going to make this the only place to sell Rage the Avenger in the States.” He turns me around, opposite is Michael’s store, I start laughing. “Have I made you proud?”
“Immensely…” I kiss him hungrily. “...can the explanation of the statue be quick though? We’ve got Hazure Park to have a picnic in.”
“That basket has more lube and sex toys than food!” I growl at his giggling. “Okay, okay! It was Ted’s idea, it’s for inspiration and taunting purposes. We need a new villain, and who better than Michael’s hero?”