He knew it was a matter of time before she discovered Justin in the bedroom or Justin wondering outside of it. It would be suspicious if he went in there and told him to stay hidden. He had told himself countless times that he didn’t care what they thought. Then the old man said that he should be the one dying, that hurt more than he cared to think about.
There were so many issues he had with his mother but the biggest was her belief in this so-called God that didn’t lift a finger when Jack was beating on them. The same God that tells her that who he is…is wrong.
She started to ramble about going to church with her again sometime. The sweat on his chest cooled, making him force himself not to shiver. She’s going on about him visiting more, touching his shoulder. He refuses to turn around because it will hurt that much more if he looks at her.
Then the inevitable happens, Justin’s voice rings out. At first his mom mistakes him for a guest. But he doesn’t need to turn around to know that Justin most likely has just put sleep pants on, expecting it to be one of their friends, Michael perhaps. He notices the change in his mother’s demeanor, she has figured out what she had been so blind to see.
He might as well put the last nail in the coffin. “Justin, this is my mother. Mom, this is Justin.” He hears Justin laugh because even with his piece of shit dad, he can’t imagine a mother not accepting her child.
Still, he doesn’t turn around, even when he hears her going for the door. She’s out of it before he can decide what to do, he follows. He stands in his doorway as she furiously pushes the lift button.
This was what he was afraid of, he knew this was what would happen but a little part of him hoped not. She wasn’t a terrible mother, just too much under Jack’s thumb. In the later years after him and Claire moved out, she got more of a backbone. He supposed it was because Jack couldn’t hold them over her anymore.
Leaning against the doorframe, he wished he never opened the door. That way he could still have that little sliver of hope that she would still love him.
Suddenly a noise causes him to look up. She’s thrown her purse against the wall and was now facing him. In all his years he had never seen her throw anything…not even to save herself or them.
Breathing hard, she stared at him. “Why are you acting like I didn’t know? Of course, I knew, you weren’t that good at hiding it. First, you never had a girlfriend, was never bringing any girls around until you met Lindsay in college. Did you think I didn’t know where Michael’s mother worked? She’s worked at the same place since we moved here. The first time you asked to go there after school I went to check it out. I saw where it was, I knew, of course I knew.”
He stood in shocked silence but that wore off and anger came next. “You knew?” he asked incredulously.
“Remember you asked us for the G.I. Joe Adventure Team?” He nodded. “We didn’t have the money for it, but your Uncle Dan was stationed in Germany and somehow got his hands on all of them. He sent them to you. It was like Christmas; you were so excited. Your dad went to work, your sister to school and that just left me and you. You were sitting at the table with two of them, can’t remember which ones. They were just sitting together, but one’s arm was around the other. I asked it he was hurt. You said, no, they just like each other. I didn’t think anything of it. Then years later when you were ten, you made me laugh with the stories you would come up with.”
He was confused he didn’t remember any of this. His memories of his childhood was pretty much all bad, so remembering the good times would be hard.
“What stories?” Justin asked. Brian hadn’t realized he was standing behind him, neither had his mother because she jumped some.
“I started watching Knots Landing, Claire was usually shut in her room and Jack at the bar. But Brian would curl up to my side and watch with me.”
He glared at her, nope she wasn’t catching on fire. Justin laughed and came up beside him. Brian refused to look at the little twat.
“I can’t picture that,” Justin said.
His mother looked lost in a memory for a moment but came back. “He was always around me, Jack hated it. Said a momma’s boy would only come out…” She turned her head. “Guess he had that part right, but nothing else. Anyway, Brian would watch those shows and with his little Adventure team he would make dramas between them. There was always rampant cheating and slapping. If I remember right Air Adventurer and Land Adventurer were always breaking up and getting back together. I fault having my ten-year-old son being my best friend and watching primetime soaps for that.”
Brian shook his head. “I don’t understand, if you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”
She walked over to where her purse was and picked it up, facing him again. “When you were young, I dared not risk it while your father could still hurt you. I was terrified he would kill you.”
“I haven’t been young in a long time,” he said, as much as he tried to defy time.
“When you got out of the house, I just assumed you would tell me when you were ready.”
“What about your God?”
“We don’t agree on everything. I put up with a loveless, abusive marriage because that’s what I thought was right. But the years have told me, not everything is as clear as some people think. This is who you are, I know that. Do I wish you were straight? Maybe but for my own selfish reasons. Do I wish this young man were older? Yes.”
“He’s legal,” Brian defended himself.
“No doubt. Your father always had an eye for young blondes too.” That stung more than he cared to admit.
“There is one more thing Brian.”
“What?” he asked.
“I still expect you to go with me to church. Being gay doesn’t get you out of it.”
“I never said I was going to church with you,” he said, feeling surer than he did when she arrived. There was no repent before you go to hell or anything like that.
“No, but you need it.”
“The fuck I do.”
“Really, Brian, such language.” She shook her head before looking over to Justin. “You’ll come to church too.”
Justin smiled. “I’m not Catholic.”
The smile fell off his mother’s face. “Oh. Would you mind if I spoke to Brian alone for a minute?” she asked him.
Justin looked at him, waiting for a signal to say it was okay for him to leave. Brian nodded and Justin went back in the loft, sliding the door shut.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Look, I know I don’t have any control over the gay thing but he’s not Catholic. Mrs. Quinn’s son is a doctor, he does really well for himself and he’s Catholic. He’s not bad on the eyes either.”
“Go home, Mother. I’m not going to fuck Tommy Quinn for you.”
“Brian, language. Also, I think he’s what you call a top.”
“Leave before I have to stab myself in the ears.”
She stopped and smiled at him. “You’re not the only one that can shock people, darling,” she said as she got on the lift.
Not wanting her to get one up on him, he shouted. “Tommy Quinn is a bottom, don’t let his size fool you.” The lift lowered but he saw his mother’s shocked face. He wondered if she would tell Mrs. Quinn about it.
He slid the door back open and walked inside. Justin was there waiting for him with a worried face.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, except you’re not Catholic.”
“Hey, neither are you.”
“I’m a lapsed Catholic, it’s different.” He hugged Justin to him.
“At least you lost your drug erection,” Justin said.
“Yeah, my mom saying I should fuck Tommy Quinn will do that.”
“Who?”
“You know that queen big bear that always wears a pink shirt under his leather vest?”
“Oh, Tom, I didn’t know his last name was Quinn.”
“My mother seemed to think we would be a great match. I don’t do bears.”
“Should give it a try, Tommy is really good with his mouth.”
Justin laughed as he pulled away, Brian ran to the bedroom, tackling him. They fell to the bed. Brian felt better now than he had in a long time, he still wasn’t going to church again.
“Is that the drugs?” Justin asked, feeling his new erection.
“Nope, all me.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
The End.