Brian shuddered again and shifted uneasily in his seat in First Class, trying to fight the urge to vomit. No matter how hard he tried, he could not shake the memory of Ted’s wet, pointy, oddly cool tongue moving around in his mouth.

At first Brian had been too stunned to move. He couldn’t think. Then the avalanche started.

 Ted is kissing me.

Ted is caressing my neck.

Ted is trying to extract my tonsils with his tongue.

Oh my fucking God.  

Having finally processed what was happening, Brian bit down, hard. Ted screamed and pulled away from Brian suddenly, hitting his head with a thump on the car door frame. With one hand clamped over his mouth and the other holding his head, Ted began hopping around the sidewalk, moaning in pain.

Brian determinedly put the Vette in gear and was just about to pull away when Michael jumped in front of the car, and the launched himself onto it, his face mushed against the windscreen.

“Brian, don’t let Ma keep us apart. We were meant to be. You and me, always” Michael said before launching into an extremely off-key rendition of ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’.

His performance was sadly cut short however when Ted, witnessing this romantic moment between Michael and HIS lover, walked calmly over to Michael and clobbered him with his briefcase. Brian watched in horrified fascination as Michael’s dazed face slid down the windshield, as if in slow motion, and ultimately ended up lying in the street in front of Brian’s car.

Brian took his opportunity to get the hell out of Dodge and launched the Vette into reverse, flying down the street in the wrong direction. As he turned the corner, he took one last look down Tremont to witness Debbie trying to separate Michael and Ted, who were determined to kick each other in the nuts.

Brian’s reverie was interrupted by the pilot announcing that they were preparing to land. As he fastened his seatbelt, Brian wondered how the fuck he was going to explain all this to Justin. Fuck it, he would figure it out later. His first order of business was to fuck the living shit out of Sunshine. Everything else could wait.

Justin sat in his apartment counting down the minutes until Brian arrived. He’d called to say his flight had arrived and should be there in thirty minutes or so. The stupid stubborn asshole wouldn’t even hear of Justin meeting his flight.

“Why the fuck would you want to do that, Sunshine? Is your little lesbianic heart all aflutter at the thought of a romantic airport reunion?”

Asshole.

While he waited, Justin thought about the call he’d just received from his mother. Apparently Michael and Ted had some kind of skirmish which had landed them both in hospital. Michael was being treated for a broken nose and a mild concussion. Ted’s condition was a little more serious.

 Jennifer had tried to state the matter delicately when she’d described his injury as a ‘dislocation of the testicle’. Which meant Michael had kicked Ted so hard in the balls, that one of them was now lodged in his abdomen. He was currently in surgery to see if they could retrieve his errant nut.

Jennifer didn’t know what had started the fight as Debbie had not been at her best when she called. Apparently between the screaming, crying, babbling and the shouting of obscenities, Jennifer had managed to catch the odd word or phrase that made sense. Like “Asshole... can’t keep his dick in his pants... my sweet boy...stripper... bad influence”. So naturally Jennifer was wondering if Justin had heard from Brian.

Justin wondered what the hell could have caused Michael and Ted to go at each other like that. Thank God Brian was here in New York. As much as Justin liked Ted and Michael, he did not want to sacrifice his time with Brian to play Florence Nightingale. It was too precious.

They had both been diligent about making time for each other since Justin’s move to the city almost eighteen months ago. But in the last few months, Brian’s workload had increased to an almost unimaginable amount. He barely had time to eat and sleep. But Justin knew that it would be worth it in the end. Kinnetik NY was becoming more and more of a reality, and the move would commence in a matter of months.

Not that the gang knew that. Well, Ted did, but he had been sworn to secrecy while Brian threatened to remove his balls if he talked. Although, Justin chuckled to himself, Michael seemed to have made a pre-emptive strike.

Justin was jolted back to the here and now when the door of his apartment was flung open to reveal Brian standing there, looking so goddamn hot that all thoughts of Ted’s balls were forgotten. It was time to fuck.

Brian and Justin lay sprawled naked on the bed, sated at least temporarily, sharing a cigarette and enjoying the mere fact of being close to each other. Absentmindedly, Brian ran his fingers through Justin’s silky hair. It had grown noticeably longer in the time they had been apart. It had been too long, much too long.

Brian was enjoying the easy silence between them when Justin rolled toward Brian and propped his head up on his hand and gave him a mischievous look.

“So, tell me about what’s going on with Michael and Ted”

The shock made Brian, who had been enjoying his fifth post-coital smoke, start coughing violently, unable to catch his breath. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What did Justin know? And why was the little fucker thumping him on the back. Oh yeah, the coughing.

“Water” Brian managed to spit out as he lurched his way to the refrigerator, trying to gather his thoughts and devise a plan of action. Once he had summoned up the courage, he returned to the bedroom.

“You okay?” Justin asked, as he watched Brian walk restlessly from one side of the room to the other. Although, since the room was so freaking small, it looked like Brian was doing some weird ancient pagan dance which involved pivoting in circles while naked. If it weren’t for the sombre expression on Brian’s face, Justin would’ve been laughing his ass off right about now.

Brian finally stopped pacing and turned to face the younger man.

“Justin, I need to tell you some stuff and I need you to not speak until I’m finished. Can you do that?”

Brian Kinney volunteering to talk, the world must be coming to an end, Justin mused.

“Okay”

Brian took a deep breath and blurted out,

‘Michael is in love with me and left Ben and slept in our bed last night naked, and says we fucked, and tried to hump me and give me a lap dance (did you know his dick was that small?)...

... and Debbie threw a shoe and a rolling pin at me and hit me a lot...

...And after I threw them out Theodore fucking kissed me and thinks we fucked and I had to gargle a full bottle of mouthwash to get rid of the taste...

... and I didn’t fuck them but I think they might have drugged me last night or we all had an accident which caused memory loss or some shit...

“...because I don’t remember much after Woodies but there is no way I had a threesome with Mikey and Ted and I think they might have joined a cult....

... and I need you to believe me because Debbie fucking doesn’t and I don’t lie”

By this time Brian was running breath and energy so he just sat down at the foot of the bed waiting for Justin to speak.

Justin just sat there absolutely stunned. His immediate thought was he had never, in all the time he had known Brian Kinney, heard him say that much in one go. He hadn’t realised that Brian was even capable of babbling to that extent, especially considering that he was sober.

The second thought that hit him made him sit up straight and look Brian in the eye.

“Are you telling me that Michael says you fucked him?”

“Yes”

“And you slept together naked?”

“Yes”

“And you don’t think you fucked him but you can’t remember what happened last night?”

“Yes”

“Because you were ruffied or you all sustained a group head injury?”

Brian huffed “Well, when you put it that way it sounds ridiculous?

Justin launched himself off the bed and started doing a little pagan pivot dancing of his own.

“That made it sound ridiculous? For fucksake Brian, there are fucking sci fi B-movies that are more fucking believable” Justin shouted as he started pivoting in the opposite direction. Brian was starting to get motion sickness just watching him.

“Who else was out with you guys last night?” Justin demanded to know as he picked up his cell preparing to call whoever he needed to, to find out what the fuck was going on.

Brian ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly as he tried to put some order to his vague recollections.

“Well, Mikey and me met at Woodies and Emmett joined us for a while but I don’t think he meant to stay long as he was waiting for Ted to meet him there”

“And where did you go after that?” 

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW JUSTIN OKAY?” Brian shouted, but then the fight just went out of him and he looked at Justin dejectedly. “I really don’t know Sunshine. I swear I would tell you if I did”

Justin looked at Brian and saw how confused he looked. Rationally, what Brian told him had to be the biggest heap of shit he had ever heard. But emotionally? Justin knew Brian didn’t lie.

Fudge the truth?

Certainly.

Lie by omission?

Most definitely.

Prevaricate, mis-direct and mis-lead?

You betcha.

If Brian had fucked Michael, wouldn’t he just admit to it? It wouldn’t be like him to make up some bullshit story about amnesia or being ruffied. And Ted? There is just no way Brian would fuck him. He would sooner cut off his own dick.

Justin needed some fucking answers. And since two of the three people he could call about this were in the fucking hospital. That left just one.