Emmett and Gus had made a delicious sweet and sour meatball dish with basmati rice and squash.  Brian would never admit it out loud but one advantage to having a caterer teach his son to cook was the meals were never boring and they were not the typical fare found in a diner. 

Brian had invited Emmett to join them at dinner instead of rushing off.  He said it would be nice to have him enjoy the work he and Gus did.  Emmett had agreed to stay for a little while since he really didn't need to get to Babylon until after 11:00.  

The small group gathered around the peninsula in the kitchen. Everyone had their plate in hand as they stopped to place food from each of the dishes on their plates.  The aroma of the spicy meatballs floated through the air and Brian could hear Justin's stomach rumbling letting everyone know it was ready to be fed.  As they plated their food, Gus said, "I'm so glad you are joining us for dinner, Aunty Emm.  I think it's time I made another dinner for everybody.  What do you think Dad?  My cooking skills are really good now."

Brian's first thought was no and started to open his mouth to tell his son that he would not be interested in another dinner party, but a quick look at Gus' face and the eager expression on it, made Brian take a second thought at his answer. He saw everyone looking at him, waiting for his response.  

"And would you want Emmett to help or would you be doing this dinner party on your own?"  Brian asked as he placed 2 meatballs on his plate.  He secretly hoped that Gus would want Emmett to spearhead the dinner as he did last time.  Brian may have made many changes in the last 9 months, but enjoying entertaining was not one of them.  

"Well..."  Gus said but paused before he finished his answer.  "I was thinking that I'd like to make something a little more complicated than chicken with a few spices.  I guess I would like him to help me.  No offense, Dad, but your cooking skills are still pretty basic."  He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at his father, hoping he wouldn't be offended by the statement. His mouth watered at the anticipation of eating the meatballs.  It was one of his favorites and he was excited to eat the food they had cooked.

"No problem, Sonny Boy.  I would be the first to admit that Emmett has way better cooking skills than I do.  He is a caterer after all.  Otherwise, people would be paying a lot of money for mediocre food.  But I think before we decide that we are having another dinner party, don't you think you should ask Emmett?"  Brian said as he looked at his friend who was grinning from ear to ear.  

Gus put the meatballs on his plate and then asked, "Emmett, could you help me with another dinner party?  This time I want to make dessert too."  Gus knew Emmett would say yes since they had talked about it earlier, but he asked him as his father said.

Emmett was at the first of the small line and brought his plate to the table.  He said, "Of course, I'll help.  Now, I'll have to look at my calendar to see when we could have this soiree, but I'm sure we could come up with a date."

"What's a soiree?  I just want everybody to come for dinner,'  Gus said as he joined Emmett at the table.  He asked, "Do you want water?" 

Emmett said, "Sure,"

Gus asked his father and Justin and they nodded yes.  He grabbed four waters from the fridge and put them out in everyone's place at the table.

Brian and Justin joined them at the dinner table and everyone enjoyed the meal.  

Justin said, "We are so lucky to have you helping Gus.  I know I, for one, look forward to Saturday night knowing I'm going to have amazing food.  Do you ever offer takeout?  It would be way better than the typical choices."

Emmett laughed and waved his hand back and forth.  "No caterer that I know offers takeout.  That wouldn't be worth my time.  Besides, catering is supposed to be an experience, not your everyday occurrence,"  Emmett explained.  He took a bite of his meatball and licked his lips.  "I do have to say, Master Gus, that we did make some amazing meatballs tonight."

Gus said, "Thanks, but all I did was follow your recipe. Do you think I'll ever be able to do it by myself?  I mean make my own recipe and stuff?"  Gus looked at the three adults for an answer.

"Gus, you can do anything you want to do,"  Brian said.  "You've got plenty of time to learn to cook or do a lot of other things.  I know you can."

"Gus, you are young, but look how you took to my photography lessons.  I bet when you take those classes this summer, you'll be even better.  I'm sure you'll learn cooking too if that is what you want to do,"  Justin said.  He smiled at Gus, hoping his words were encouraging.  

"I did learn photography pretty quick and Emmett has been a great teacher for cooking.  I guess I should just keep learning,"  Gus said, happy that the adults in his life felt he could accomplish things.  

Turning toward Emmett, he said, "So Aunty Emm, will you look at your calendar?  I want to start thinking about what we're going to cook and I guess I need to practice making it at least once."  Gus' excitement could be heard in his voice as he looked at Emmett.

Emmett took out his phone and scrolled through his calendar.  "Well, are we doing this on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?"

"Let's go on Saturday or would that not work due to weddings?  Would Sunday be better?"  Brian asked, realizing that Emmett might not be available when he thought it would meet his timetable.

"Well, I do have a Saturday free in two weeks.  The couple was going to have an anniversary party but their children surprised them with a cruise so they canceled.  They promised to book me when they came back,"  Emmett said as he read the notes in his calendar entries.

"Can we do it in two weeks, Dad?"  Gus asked, realizing that his party might be really soon.

Brian rolled his eyes but knew he would not deny his son this opportunity.  "If it works for Emmett, it's fine.  Who do you want to be here?  This is your dinner."  Brian finished the last bite of his squash, amazed that Emmett could make vegetables taste good.

"The family.  You know, Dad.   Aunty Emm, Uncle Ted, and Uncle Blake if he can come. Mom and Momma, and of course Grandma Debbie.  You and Justin since this is your place and you are dating Justin.  Maybe...."  he hesitated,  "Could I invite Tommy?  I've been telling him about my cooking and I think it would be neat to have him."

Brian let out a breath he did not know he was holding when he realized that Gus had not mentioned Michael.  Maybe Gus realized that there was a rift between them, even though he tried to keep Gus out of his personal business.  "It's your dinner.  If you want to invite Tommy, go ahead, but do you want to have him around your crazy family?  If you want to invite your friends for lunch one Saturday, that could be arranged."  Brian said, wondering when he was replaced by a pod person who willingly invites a group of 10-year-olds into his home.

"Thanks, Dad,"  Gus said, getting up from his chair and giving Brian a big hug. "Emmett, we're going to have to figure out what to cook.  I'll have to make a list of food, and ..."

"Slow down, Sonny Boy.  Let's finish tonight's dinner and then we can worry about the dinner in two weeks,"  Brian said.  

Gus finished the last of his meatballs and said, "Sure Dad.  I'm just excited."

"I know,'  Brian said.  

Having settled the dinner entertaining issues, the four of them finished eating and then cleaned up.  Emmett told Gus he would call him tomorrow or they could talk at Debbie's Sunday night and they would start planning a menu.  Emmett hugged Brian and Justin and left to go home to get ready for Babylon.

Gus helped clear the table and then asked if he could get on the computer to look up recipes.  Brian laughed and told him he was welcome to the computer but needed to head to bed in an hour or so.  

"Sure, Dad. You're the best,"  Gus said and walked to the computer, turned it on, and immediately became immersed in his mission to find recipes.

"I saw you putting on a pot of coffee when we were cleaning up, do you think it is ready yet?" asked Justin.  He walked to the cabinet, got out two mugs, and then went to the fridge to get his creamer.  

"I can't sneak anything by you," Brian teased.  "But I think it should be done, if not now in a few minutes.  Since Gus is still awake, I don't imagine that we can sneak off to the bedroom for a repeat performance?" He looked at Justin like a kid who was asking for a treat but knew the answer before he asked.

"No, what would you like to do?"  Justin asked, excited about the idea of heading toward Brian's bedroom after Gus went to bed.

"We could watch some TV, or we could get Gus' Nintendo Switch out and play some video games,"  Brian suggested.

"If I wasn't here what would you be doing?"  Justin asked as he waited for his coffee to cool down so he could take a sip. While Justin was eager to return to Brian's bedroom, he didn't want their relationship to be based on tumbles in his bedroom.

Brian said, "I don't know.  Why? It's not like I plan every minute of every day."

"Let me ask in a different way.  We've been spending almost every evening together for the last nine months and I've been spending at least one day of every weekend with you and Gus.  What is your expectation moving forward?  Do you expect that I'm going to be here pretty much all the time?" Justin didn't want to provoke Brian, but he was still feeling a little unsure about Brian and his reaction to him not responding to his texts. He hadn't planned on talking about the pink elephant in the room, but the opportunity had come up and he went with the flow.

"I hadn't really thought about it.  Are you telling me you're tired of me and don't want to be here?"  Brian tried to keep his voice down, but Justin could hear the steely tone that it had changed into. "The door is right there,"  Brian said, pointing to the sliding door.

"Calm down, Brian.  I never said I didn't want to be here.  But this is exactly what I'm talking about.  What are your expectations for me, for us?  If we're going to make this work, we need to know what the other expects.  If I don't know what you want from me, then I can't know if it is the same thing that I want or if I can give you what you want."  Justin said in a calm soothing voice, hoping his tone would bring Brian back down.

"Shit!.  I did it again.  I jumped to a conclusion the minute I didn't like what was happening,"  Brian said, apologizing and looking contrite.

"Brian.  Tonight at the meeting Carl talked about relationships and how hard they are.  I'm not an expert, obviously or I would not have failed at my previous attempts,"  Justin smiled and shook his head slightly, shrugging his shoulders.  "But after a number of failed relationships, I know what I don't want.  What do you want in a relationship?"

"Hey Dad, Can we have ice cream?  We bought some yesterday."  Gus called out from the office area.

Brian was relieved by the interruption as it would give him some time to think about his response to Justin.  "Sure.  Let's have some ice cream and then you'll have about half an hour before it's time for bed."  Brian turned to Justin and asked, "Want some ice cream?"

"No, I'm pretty stuffed from dinner." 

Brian walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet.  "I'll scoop it out."  Brian put ice cream in a bowl and brought it to the table. He did not make a bowl for himself. 

"Dad, maybe we should just have ice cream at the dinner. This stuff is really good," Gus said as he finished his bowl.  "Can I have more?"  

"No, you cannot have more.  But, you can have anything you want at your dinner, it's your event.  Now, you've got about 30 minutes, and then it is bedtime for you." Brian said as he picked up the bowl and brought it to the kitchen.  He rinsed it out and placed it in the dishwasher.  

Gus returned to the computer eager to do some additional research before he had to go to bed.

Justin and Brian returned to the couch.  Justin's coffee was now the perfect temperature to drink and he took a sip and said,  "Brian, Gus gave you a little reprieve. Don't think I didn't see the look of relief on your face when he asked for ice cream.  What do you want in a relationship?" Justin's voice was soft and he smiled at Brian, trying to make the conversation less threatening.  He recognized the deer-in-the-headlights look Brian had given him earlier and wanted to ease his mind. 

Brian thought for a few moments before answering.  "I like having you around.  I've gotten used to you being here every night or almost every night.  I guess I want you to be here."  

"Okay, that's a start.  You like my presence.  But Brian I had a boyfriend that was literally in my back pocket.  I couldn't make a move without him wanting to know where I was.  If that is your idea of having me in your life, then this won't work."  Justin inwardly cringed when he thought of that relationship.  He was so relieved when he broke it off.

"Message received.  If I text you and you don't respond, it's not because you are blowing me off, but because you are busy working.  So if that is all I need to be successful in our relationship, I've got it down pat." Brian smiled, feeling good about his success in their relationship.

"Brian that is only one piece of a relationship's success.  Money, careers, common interests, and priorities in life are all a part of a relationship.  We need to be on the same page here."

Brian finished his coffee, having cooled it down with creamer and sugar.  He placed the mug on the table and turned toward Justin.  "We both have careers and we know we like the same things.  We've been hanging out for 9 months.  As for money, I've never really thought about it.  We each buy our own meals and pay our way when we do things.  My priorities are pretty simple, being with Gus and maintaining sobriety.  I guess we're still good."  Brian said smugly, happy that he'd ticked off every box that Justin mentioned.

"Okay.  I guess we just handle the hiccups as they come.  We both want to be together so we'll leave it at that.  But promise me that if you are upset with something I do, you won't let yourself stew in your anger.  I know you don't like talking, but getting angry is not helpful either."

Brian felt their conversation was complete and he called out to Gus, "Sonny Boy, did you find some recipes?"

"Yes.  I printed out a bunch.  I'm going to talk to Emmett about it.  He usually is at Grandma Debbie's on Sundays and hopefully, we can talk. Thanks again, Dad.  You're the best."

"It's time for bed.  We have to finish your diorama tomorrow and then we'll have to take it home before I drop you at Debbie's."

"Okay."  Gus shut down the computer and put the recipes in his backpack.  "I'll be ready in about 5 minutes and you can come in to tell me goodnight."

Brian took a few sips of his coffee, anticipating the time when Gus was in bed and he would be free to be alone with Justin.  He hoped he had placated Justin's inquiry and they could enjoy another make-out session as he had been looking forward to repeating their explorations.  Brian went into Gus' room, kissed him goodnight, and closed the door.

Brian sat down next to Justin on the couch, moving in to kiss him lightly on the lips.  "Gus should be asleep in a little while.  I seem to remember a promise about a repeat performance," Brian said, softly as he stroked his hand on Justin's cheek. Brian was tired of talking and wanted nothing more than to enjoy the physical side of their budding relationship.  

Justin leaned into Brian's touch and met him with a soft kiss.  "Mmm," he murmured as he opened his mouth to let Brian in.  Soon they were kissing, tongues dancing with each other as their bodies immersed themselves in each other.

"Let's go to my room,"  Brian suggested and Justin's response was to stand up and follow him.  Tonight it was not as awkward, both men having enjoyed each other the week before.  

Brian undressed Justin and Justin undressed Brian, pulling shirts overhead and maneuvering zippers and buttons.  Soon, they were entangled on the bed, limbs entwined and mouths seeking each other's flesh.  

Justin moved down, finding Brian's cock and engulfing it in his mouth while at the other end of the bed, Brian was mirroring his action.  His cock was engulfed by the warm cavern that was Justin's mouth.  His only thought was pleasure; his and giving Justin pleasure as well.  The sounds of Justin sucking his cock coupled with the heavy breathing as his own cock was engulfed in Brian's mouth was music to his ears.  Soon he felt the familiar tightening in his balls, heard his panting as he raced to the finish line, and exploded in Justin's mouth.  After a few moments, he continued his ministrations on Justin and Justin also exploded in his mouth.  They both lay breathing heavily on Brian's bed, waiting for their heart rates to slow and their brains to return to normal.

 "I'll say it again.  Why did I wait so long to ask you out?  You are as talented in the bedroom as you are in the showroom,' Brian said, letting Justin know that he enjoyed their latest tryst.

Justin smiled at the compliment and said, " So did that reassure you I want to be here?"  Justin teased, already knowing the answer.  "You're not half bad yourself.  I promise to not avoid your texts in the future, but unfortunately, I must be headed out.  I still have to ensure that my paintings arrive and once they are at the gallery, I have to supervise their hanging.  Just a warning, this week will be very hectic for me and while I won't purposefully ignore a text, it may happen that I don't return it right away."

"I get it.  No freaking out if we go another week without talking.  Just so you know, I talked to Molly and she and I made plans for dinner before the show.  I think Emmett is coming for the opening, but I told Gus we would go later.  Maybe, we could take him the following weekend. Although, that would make for a busy weekend.  Dinner on Saturday as well as your show might be pushing it a bit.  I imagine it will take most of the afternoon for Gus and Emmett to prepare for the soiree."  Brian laughed at the fancy term.  "Only Emmett could call a simple dinner with family a soiree.  Anyway, if they take all day Saturday for the dinner thing, it would only leave us Sunday for your show.  Personally, I think one big event is sufficient for a weekend.  You said your show will be up for a month, right?"

"It is amazing how you can think everything through to the last detail.  I guess that comes with your business.  If one part of a campaign doesn't go well, it spoils the whole thing,"  Justin said, thinking about the million details Brian must keep in his head at all times. He kissed Brian on the lips with a soft kiss and said, "Yes, my show runs for a month and if it is well received, it might be longer.  But I wouldn't want to wait to bring Gus.  The show is next weekend and the following weekend is Gus's dinner.  I think the following weekend would work."  

He nodded and said, "That should work.  I'll talk to him about it.  He should be fine with the changes."  He leaned over to give Justin a kiss on his neck. The soft, smooth skin was exciting other parts of him as well, and he could feel his erection stirring back to life.

As Justin was still pressed next to him, he felt Brian's cock and turned toward him, "Sorry, you'll have to take care of that one on your own.  I really must be going."  Justin stood up and started dressing, hunting down his clothing strewn over Brian's bedroom. He hated leaving but understood and accepted that he had responsibilities and needed to be on top of his game in the morning.  He looked longingly at Brian still laid out on his bed and found himself licking his lips and salivating at the beautiful sight.  He turned away in hopes that he could keep his own cock from reacting to the site. 

Brian watched him as Justin put on his underwear and jeans, and then got out of bed donning his own underwear and jeans.  When Justin was fully dressed, he walked him to the door and gave him another searing kiss.  "Later," he said as he opened the door watching him get on the elevator.  

Brian found that he was tired, evidently talking and sex wore him out.  He and Gus had to work on his diorama tomorrow and they had to finish it earlier so he could take Gus back home.  He hoped Justin wouldn't have another busy week and he'd get to see him before the show.  He was looking forward to the show and seeing more of his work.  He hoped Emmett would like the show as well.  He wasn't sure much Emmett knew about art or would appreciate it, but he was glad that Emmett was making the effort to attend.

Brian and Gus worked on the diorama the following day.  Emmett called Gus and they planned out a menu.  As they were driving to Gus' home Gus asked Brian, ' Dad, if Justin's show is next weekend, am I going to see you?'

"Of course.  I asked Debbie to watch you for a few hours on Friday night while I go to the opening.  Otherwise, our weekend will be the same. I thought we talked about it.  I guess I need to be a better communicator.  Justin says I should share my thoughts more."

"I wish I could go to the show.  It would be so cool,"  Gus lamented.

"You are going to see the show, just not opening night.  Justin is working and I want you to be able to ask him all about the paintings without taking him away from his patrons.  We'll go in a couple of weeks.  You'll have your dinner the next Saturday so you'll be busy with that.  Justin and I thought having you come out the following week would work.  If you saw the exhibit the same weekend as your dinner, it would be a lot to cram in.   

"Okay, Dad.  That sounds great.  And, yes I remember you saying something about me staying with Grandma Debbie.  I just forgot," Gus said as he watched the cars go by as they drove toward his home.  

Brian dropped Gus off and headed for his Sunday meeting.  He didn't see Justin's car in the lot, but he was earlier than normal so wasn't concerned.  He walked in and went to the coffee table, took a whiff of the overly cooked brew, and grabbed a bottle of water instead.  

As he waited for the meeting to start he thought about the weekend and the conversations with Justin.  He wondered if he really was expecting him to be at his beck and call.  When the leader called the meeting to order, he was disappointed that Justin had not shown up, but remembered that he had warned Brian that he might not see him until the show next weekend.  Brian was not happy about the idea of another week without Justin.  He turned off his wandering mind and listened to the meeting, knowing that he really needed to give it 100% of his attention.

The topic had been about open-mindedness, being open to new ideas and thoughts, and realizing that none of us have all the answers.  On the way home, he contemplated the idea that being open-minded also meant that his ideas were not always right and that he needed to see the other side of an experience. While Justin and he had talked about his anger and obvious hurt when Justin did not immediately text him back, the problem went deeper.  It was really about his need to be immediately acknowledged.  He knew that he had to start thinking about Justin's needs, not just his own.

The next few days went by quickly, and just as Justin had predicted he and Brian had not seen each other.  Justin had made a point of responding to Brian's texts, but Brian had also made a point of just sending a text in the evening after a meeting, letting him know he was missed. 

By Wednesday, it had been 4 days since Brian had talked to Justin and while Justin had been true to his word about responding to Brian's texts, Brian missed him.  

After every meeting, he felt the absence keenly when he grabbed a quick bite at the diner or chose takeout from his home.  

Wednesday had been a particularly busy day and when he got home from AA, he got out his journal while he waited for the delivery guy from the Thai place up the street.

Life is okay, but I feel like I'm just going through the motions and making money, closing deals, and generally doing what I'm supposed to do as CEO of a boutique ad agency.  However, it all feels empty. What am I doing with my life?  What is the purpose?  I mean sure I'm very successful and Kinnetic is gaining a reputation as the place to go if you want hip advertising.  But I find that I want more.  I'm not really sure what more means but I think there has to be more in life than making money.  I used to think that success was walking away from Joan and Jack, never looking back at their pathetic lives or having to see them again.  I was never beholden to them and they surely did not feel that they owed me anything. I wanted to have money to do what I pleased, and now I do.  But I'm finding that I want more.  Sure money makes it really easy to give Sonny Boy whatever he needs.  No need for him to question if he can go to some extracurricular event, soccer camp, or buy new cleats for soccer.  He just asks and it happens.  When I was a child I thought that this was what it meant to be successful, having the money to do anything you wanted, but now I realize that money is not the only thing that makes someone successful. 

While my ideal solution would be to whisk him away for the remainder of the weekend when the world would be far removed, I know that is unrealistic.  I will see him at the show and offer my support, but while I would love to go home with him after the show, I'll wait not so patiently for his invitation to let me know that he is up to hanging out.  I remember what it is like to have a large campaign go live.  The hours leading up to it are so busy and you don't feel that there are enough hours in the day to get done everything that needs to be done.  Once the launch is done, your adrenaline that has been coursing through your body at 100 times its normal rate finally gives out and you crash.  I will try to remember that this is a big show for him and be patient if he's not available until next week.  Next week will suck, but that should give me time to think about what I really want in life.  I want more than to be successful at Kinnetik.

Brian read through his journal, satisfied with the entry, and put the journal back on the shelf.  He timed it perfectly as the buzzer rang announcing the delivery guy.  He buzzed him up, tipped him, and took his Pad Thai to the couch.  It was close to 9:00 and he had been hungry when he ordered the food, but he found that after eating a few bites, he didn't want anymore.  He closed the box and put it in the fridge.  He was restless and didn't want to sit at home. He grabbed his keys and headed out to his car.

He wasn't sure where he was headed but knew he couldn't sit in his home any longer.  He needed people.  He drove toward Liberty Avenue and parked in the lot by Woody's.  He sat in his car, contemplating his next move.  He realized he could go in, shoot some pool, and kill an hour or two until he was ready to head home.  It was a Wednesday night, the middle of the week, and the place wouldn't be very busy.  

Emmett and Ted wouldn't probably be there, so who would know that he came?  But then, what would happen if they were there?  Would they question him about his presence? Would they tell him he shouldn't be there?  He doubted they would tell him to leave, but he wasn't sure.   Would he be tempted to drink and if so would he abstain?  Did he want to drink?  That thought was unexpected.  He hadn't thought about drinking in months.  Why did he suddenly think about drinking?  He knew from his meetings and talking with both Cleo and Justin that he drank to hide from his feelings.  What the hell was he hiding from or was he actually hiding?  Was he just restless and wanted to play pool and hang out with people?  But he didn't even know if his friends would be there, so was he really wanting to hang out, or was he going in to have an anonymous drink when no one was likely to know that he had slipped up?  

While he sat in the parking lot contemplating his next move, a knock on his window got him out of his reverie.  Michael was knocking on his window.

Brian could choose to ignore him in the diner, but it was much harder to do when he was literally standing outside his car.  He reluctantly rolled down the window, choosing to say nothing.

"Hey, Brian.  I've missed you so much.  Going to Woody's by myself isn't the same, but you're here now.  I'll go order us a few beers and we can see if the pool table is free.  It'll be just like old times.  I'll meet you inside,"  Michael said, as he smiled widely and waved at another patron in the parking lot.

Brian rolled up his window and hit the dashboard with his hand.  Instead of going inside as Michael had expected, he pulled out of the lot and headed for a diner a few blocks away.  It was a little late, but he knew he needed help.  He pushed the icon for Cleo as he sat in his car.  Unlike half an hour ago when he was contemplating his next move, he knew this one was the right one.

"I need help," he said when Cleo answered the phone.  

Cleo didn't question the hour or chastise Brian for interrupting his evening.  Instead, he said, "What can I do?"  

Brian felt at ease for the first time that evening and said, "Can you meet me at the 9th street diner? I need to talk." 

"Sure.  Give me 30 minutes.  Do you need me to stay on the phone and talk while I drive there?"  Cleo offered.

"No.  I'll just go in and order some coffee.  See you soon," Brian said as he let out a breath he wasn't aware that he was holding.  

He walked into the diner, was seated by the waitress, and ordered a big pot of coffee while he waited for Cleo.  

TBC