Chapter ^V
Unfortunately, before Brian could drag his Blue Beauty off to the bathroom for some pleasure appendage fun, they were waylaid by the arrival of Michael and Ted.
“Brian! Hey! I didn’t expect you to be here this early on a Friday afternoon,” Michael greeted his friend, adding in a big, wet smooch on the lips which lasted a little bit longer than was necessary for a simple, friendly welcome.
“Yeah, well, Ted’s not working either and you’re not giving him a hard time,” Brian pointed out as soon as he’d extricated himself from Michael’s grasp.
“Actually, Cynthia sent me out looking for you,” Ted explained with a laconic shrug. “She’s still pretty pissed off at you for this morning and ordered me to find you so she can disembowel you with a rusty letter opener . . . I figured it was probably best to get out of the direct line of fire and give her the weekend to cool off.”
“You both remember that I am still the boss, right?” Brian grumbled. “Besides, I saved the account, after about two hours of groveling, so what the fuck is Cynthia still pissed about?”
“Something about you messing up her scheduling for all of next week, I think,” Ted explained with a ‘don’t shoot the messenger’ smile.
“Well I, for one, am glad you’re taking the afternoon off, Brian.” Michael stepped forward, insinuating his body between Brian and Justloq, and attempting to lead Brian back towards the table they’d just left. “We haven’t had any time to just hang out since I got back from Portland. Come on and sit down and you can tell me all about what you got up to last night at the baths.”
“No baths. Just drowning. But Justloq saved,” Little Blue maintained, squirming his body through the small gap between Brian and Michael again so that he could reconnect. “Now very much Brrrryon zagnut pleasure appendage dancing. You go away please very much.”
Justloq tried to physically pull Brian in the direction they’d previously been heading, towards the bathroom and, presumably, the pleasure dancing room, but Michael grabbed Brian’s other arm and held the man back. Brian was basically turned into the focus of a human tug-of-war. He tried to release himself but the two combatants both had good grips and neither was letting go. He was jerked this way and that, as Justloq and Michael vied for possession of his person, with Michael making the most headway initially, towing Brian almost all the way back to the table where Em and Dreebo were waiting. Then, with a rather strong tug from Justloq that felt like it was about to pull his arm all the way out its socket, the alien jerked Brian completely free from Michael’s clutches, toppling Brian sideways. Luckily, the stronger-than-he-looked alien caught Brian before he fell and scooped him up in his little twinkie arms. When Michael, apparently undeterred, reached out as if to take Brian out of the interloper’s arms, Justloq screeched at the unwary human so loudly and with a note so high that everyone’s ears were ringing. Michael let go of his grip on Brian so as to cover his ears.
“Stop! Stop already, Justloq!” Brian ordered with a backhanded slap to the alien’s chest. “And fucking put me down already. I’m not some damsel in distress. I can stand on my own fucking feet . . .”
“Who the fuck is this freak, Brian?” Michael asked as soon as the painful screeching had stopped. Then he turned to address Justloq directly. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but it’s time for you to move on, buddy. Brian’s already had you and he doesn’t do repeats. So why don’t you and your friends hit the road already and go back to fucking Finland or wherever else you’re from, okay?”
When he once again tried to reach out to Brian, intending to guide his best friend away from the blue-haired twink, Justloq screeched at him some more. Brian put out a hand towards the alien in a ‘stop’ gesture, which thankfully quieted the boy. Then he turned to Michael and just shook his head at the overly possessive little brunet.
“Enough already, Mikey. You’re not my keeper. You don’t get to say when I’m done with someone or not.” Brian took a step backwards so he was out of reach of both combatants. “Besides, Justloq and the others are okay. I mean, they didn’t suck my brains out or anything, and they did sorta save me from drowning last night, so they’re welcome to stay. At least until their skidoo is dried out.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Brian?” Michael whined. “I don’t know what kind of drugs they’ve been feeding you, but it’s time to come down now. These guys are bad news.”
Brian looked over at the cute, blue-haired hottie with the innocent face and laughed. “Lay off the kid, Mikey. He’s not doing anything to anybody. He just wants to get laid like everybody else. Besides, I think he’s kinda sweet.”
Michael looked at his friend as if Brian had turned into a pod person. “Listen, Brian, these guys are too fucking weird. They’re messing with your head. You need to stop wasting your time on these losers and tell them to get lost already.”
The argument was interrupted at this point by Com’dant Dreebo, who’d come up behind Michael, intent on intervening. Donning a dramatic expression, he tapped Michael on the shoulder and pleaded, “you’re tearing me apaaaart . . .”
Michael, who was undoubtedly a little intimidated by the hulking presence of the alien leader towering over him while doing James Dean impressions, backed away with both hands held out in front of him in a gesture of surrender. “What the hell?”
Too late, he realized that he’d backed right into the third alien, Daph, still in her male impersonator shape and surrounded by her pack of admirers. Daph held up a napkin dispenser she’d grabbed off a nearby table and pulled out a paper napkin which she unhelpfully held out towards Michael “Chill, Mr. Dude! Here. Sk@eewa23u. Yes? For you is good!”
When Michael just stared at Daph as if she were crazy, Dreebo shrugged and, his tongue zipping out from behind Michael’s head, he snatched the napkin up like an iguana catching a fly. Then, with a happy smile, he swallowed the napkin whole. For about half a second the crowd that had been watching this show were all stunned into silence. Brian was sure that the jig was up and his guests were about to be outed as aliens. There would probably be screaming and someone calling 911 or the CIA or the NSA or fucking NASA and someone would eventually show up and want to dissect them all - including, probably, Brian himself, since he’d been contaminated by them - and it was all about to turn majorly ugly. He moved so that he was standing in front of Justloq, offering his body as a sort of shield, for whatever that was worth.
Then, unexpectedly, one of the Blond of The Month contestants who’d been trailing along behind Daph stepped forward and declared, “I’m going home with HIM!”
Not be outdone, this huge leather bear shouldered the blond boy aside and asserted, “No. I’M going home with him.”
“You can all fuck off,” Emmett insisted, his hand coming up to grip the big red alien by the jaw, exclaiming more loudly than anyone else. “I’m the one going home with him!” Then he pulled Dreebo into a full-on lip lock so that nobody would be able to argue the point further.
Daph, who seemed to sense that the potential for trouble had passed, waved goodbye and went back to grinding with her harem of blond orgy boys. And, when Michael turned back to Brian, as if to renew his claims on his best friend, Justloq simply picked his human up and carried him away in the direction of the exit.
“Bye, Mr. Dude,” Justloq said, then broke out into song, warbling the Sound of Music’s ‘So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye . . .’ as he carried his prize out of the bar.
They were halfway down the block before Brian had stopped laughing at the shell-shocked look on Michael’s face. “You can put me down now, Blue.”
“Justloq no mind. No let Brrryon get away this time,” he responded. “Zagnut and pleasure appendage NOW!”
“Seriously, you need to back off and put me down. Now, Justloq!”
With a reluctant huff, the alien obeyed, but then immediately looped his arm through Brian’s, almost as if he was afraid that Brian would try and bolt before he got his pleasure appendage dancing. Brian figured he at least had to give the guy points for being persistent. He’d been pursued before, but never like this. It was flattering in a way. But still, he wasn’t Scarlett O’Hara; he didn’t need to be carried off into the fucking sunset.
Once he was back on his own two feet, Brian adjusted his clothing and led the way, heading in the direction of the loft. His alien friend seemed happy to trot along by his side so long as it seemed like they were headed in the direction of the long awaited pleasure dancing. Tenacious little blue fucker.
While they walked in silence, though, Brian had time to rehash the little scene that had just played out in Woody’s. He was more pissed off at Mikey’s possessiveness than he would have thought possible. He couldn’t believe that his friend would act like that. Like he had some overriding claim on Brian’s time. Especially after he’d just got back from his sojourn in Portland with Dr. Dave. What did he think? That he could just up and disappear from Brian’s life for six months - going off to Wisconsin, or wherever, to play the happy doctor’s wife - and then, when he got bored with that farce, come trotting back to insinuate himself into Brian’s life like he’d never left? Like Brian was some backup plan or something? Like Michael just assumed Brian wouldn’t have anything better to do than wait around for him to come back? Was Brian that fucking predictable? It made Brian feel like he was just some accessory to Michael’s life; like he didn’t deserve a life of his own.
Apparently, Brian had been too quiet and too pensive for too long, however, because after a few blocks his musings were interrupted by his alien twink nudging one elbow into Brian’s side and saying, “give it to me, Baby. Give it to me REAL good.”
That got a laugh out of Brian. “Fuck. And here I thought I was a great conversationalist.”
“When you’re sad and you’re blue, and you’re tired of running ‘round, let Lionel Playworld turn that frown upside down . . .” Justloq offered, thankfully not singing the words this time.
“No. I’m fine. I just . . . Fuck, I’m not really good at talking about this shit.” Brian tried to avoid the conversation but his alien friend just kept looking at him expectantly and Brian, for some reason he couldn’t pinpoint, felt like he could maybe talk to this kid in a way he wouldn’t have even attempted with his human friends. “It’s just that . . . Michael and I haven’t been on the same wavelength since he got back to Pittsburgh. Maybe longer than that. I think Mikey just felt like everything would fall into place if he met ‘Mr. Right’. And, when it didn’t, he came back here and decided to take up where he left off with me. But I’m tired of being his idol. I don’t want to be some aging, loser, club boy just so Mikey can live out his sexual fantasies through me for the rest of his life. I feel like he’s taking me for granted. Like he just knows there’s no chance I could ever have a life of my own. But why does he get to grow up and move on and I don’t? You know?”
“Grow up?” Justloq asked.
“Yeah. You know, like, have new experiences. Go somewhere. Move on with my life . . .” Brian explained, his tone despondent and unsatisfied. “But, instead, I’m stuck here in fucking Pittsburgh and I probably always will be. I’m so sick of just doing the same old thing, day after day after day. The same bar. The same clubs. The same old guys. The same clients at work. The same everything. It’s fucking depressing. Nothing exciting ever happens here.”
“Justloq happens. That’s exciting.”
“I suppose so. Assuming, that is, I’m not just dreaming all this,” Brian replied with an unamused snort of laughter. Then he asked a question of his own, “you know, I don’t even know what planet you’re supposed to be from.”
“cUMSHOLK,” the alien replied, pointing up to the sky in a northeasterly direction.
“Of course you’re from a planet called ‘Cums A Lot’; I should have guessed that from your obsession with my ‘pleasure appendage’,” Brian laughed and shook his head. “I never would have thought that the first contact Earth would have with an alien race would be based on how mutually horny both species are. Good thing it seems like we’re anatomically compatible, huh?” Justloq gave a little melodic screech that Brian assumed was an alien version of a giggle. “You know, at first I thought you looked like a miniature bigfoot, or something. But, without that costume and all the wild make up, you’re not bad looking, kid. You’re kinda hot even. For a blue-haired, alien twink that is.”
“I’m hot-blooded. Check it and see. I got a fever of a hundred and three . . .” Blue confirmed, singing the lyrics just like Foreigner would have, while wiggling his body in a suggestive way that Brian found rather enticing.
“So, tell me, Justloq, back on Planet Cums-A-Lot, do you guys have all this pressure to get boyfriends and settle down, or do you just hook up and spread your pleasure appendages around wherever you please?” Brian asked, reminded again about his thoughts on Michael’s recent return from domesticated heaven. Justloq gave a noncommittal shrug. “Oh, come on. You’re telling me a hot, horny little number like you doesn’t have a boyfriend or two back home?”
“No Mr. Right boyfriends.”
Brian gave an unamused laugh. “I told you, kid, there’s no such thing as ‘Mr. Right’. Even Michael found that out when he finally got bored of playing house with Dr. Dave.”
“Helm Ike El no want Dr. Dave. He want Brrryon,” Justloq stated the obvious.
“I don’t know what Michael wants,” Brian argued the point, ‘but it’s not me. He just likes the IDEA of me. The excitement of being the best friend of the biggest stud on Liberty Avenue. He doesn’t want the real me. He doesn’t even know the real me. That’s assuming even I know who the real me is . . .”
After a half a block of further silent contemplation, Justloq asked a question that nobody had ever voiced before. “What does Brrrryon want?”
“I have no fucking idea . . .” Brian replied with a heavy respiration. “I guess, in the end, I just want what everyone else in the universe wants; to find a place where I don’t have to work so fucking hard to fit in. To be happy. Whatever the fuck that means.”
“Justloq could make Brrrryon happy.”
By that point they’d reached the loft; Brian stopped to take out his keys and unlock the front door. “Thanks, Blue, but I don’t think anyone can help me in that regard. Not when I don’t even know what the fuck I need to be happy.”
“Justloq could make Brrryon feel very, VERY happy,” the little alien reached up to stroke along the side of Brian’s face in a familiar gesture.
“Isn’t that what they always say?” Brian tried to laugh him off as he pushed the button to call the elevator. “Sorry, Blue, but sex alone isn’t gonna get me there. I get more offers of sex than I know what to do with. That’s kinda the problem, actually.”
“Sex? What is ‘sex’?” Justloq followed his human friend into the elevator, waiting patiently for Brian to pull the gate closed before answering.
“Isn’t that what you came here for? The whole ‘pleasure appendage dancing’ thing?” Brian returned a question for another question. “That’s ‘sex’. But . . . I don’t know. There fucking has to be more to life than just sex, doesn’t there?”
“More? But sex is good, no? Brrrryon likes pleasure appendage dancing. Justloq saw Brrryon with men . . .”
“Fuck, Blue . . . I’ve been there, done that. You just insert tab A into slot B and rub them together till you get off,” Brian growled, stomping away from his alien guest as quickly as he could once the elevator stopped on his floor. “But . . . Fuck.” He broke off, apparently frustrated by trying to find the words to explain himself.
He used the excuse of unlocking the door to the loft to pause while he worked out what he wanted to say.
Once they were both inside Brian continued along a different tack. “You’ve apparently been all over the universe, Justloq, so you tell me? Is there something better out there? A greater purpose or something? Maybe, I don’t know, is there something to this ‘love’ shit everyone tries to sell you? Cuz I gotta say, I haven’t found any reason to bother with any of that shit down here on Earth.”
“Pleasure more than ‘sex’,” the alien asserted. Brian just shook his head in denial. “Justloq show Brrryon.”
“Oh, yeah? You’re gonna show me how it’s done, huh? Good luck with that. I’ve seen and done just about everything . . .”
“Justloq show, Brrryon,” the little alien insisted and then, reaching out to stroke Brian’s face again, he ‘shushed’ the human before the man could argue further. “Justloq teach Brrryon feel pleasure.”
Suddenly, Brian felt this zap of heat and his vision went a little blurry. He could feel the blood rising under his skin every place the alien’s fingers touched as they trailed down the side of his face, down the column of his neck, and across his collar bone. What he could see seemed to be filtered through a rainbow haze of light. He wasn’t sure for a minute or two if he was still breathing. Everything was light and soft and warm and breathless.
“Justloq show you, Brrrryon,” the alien said and Brian could see the notes of his words dancing across the field of his vision like sparks of gemstone-bright light.
Brian laughed in response. The sound of his laughter sparkled like fireworks against the ceiling of his bedroom as the alien laid Brian down atop the bed and did some kind of magic that made their clothing disappear. Then the nubile young alien was climbing up his body and spreading that love touch thing of his all over Brian’s skin, making him delirious with the overwhelming ecstasy of it all.
Brian had never, in all his long and promiscuous life, imagined that being with another man could feel like this. There were no words that could adequately describe the impulses his senses were feeding him. He could smell the colors and taste the feelings of every object around him. He didn’t know how to breathe but wasn’t ever in need of oxygen. His skin became a map of every single spot Justloq had touched him, traces of rainbow heat outlining every place their bodies had come into contact, with punctuations of exploding pleasure at any spot where the alien had kissed him or licked him or punctured him with that pleasure appendage of his. It was fucking glorious.
When Blue straddled him and carefully guided Brian’s dick to his welcoming little zagnut, Brian was inundated with a sense of contentment that he’d never thought possible. He felt like he was being taken inside the other man, enveloped in velvety comfort. Everything was warm and tight and welcoming in a way that even the best sex he’d had in the past could never compare with. He rutted away, the exertion taking no effort, and every ripple of touch felt like a flame of joy. Like his dick had found a home he never wanted to leave.
But just when Brian thought it couldn’t possibly get any better, it did. Justloq touched his face again and the world exploded in light. His soul became almost unbearably transcendent. This wasn’t just the pure physical climax of nerve endings, stimulated until they triggered a muscle spasm, leading to the release of endorphins; this felt like he’d established a direct connection between his cock and the pleasure centers of his brain. There were explosions of heat and light and sound and taste and a few other senses he couldn’t even name. It was all too much for words.
Through it all, though, was this pervading sense of connection to his amazing alien lover. Justloq was now a part of him. Their cells were infused with each other’s essences. Brian was now an integral link in Justloq’s existence and vice versa. They were together in a way Brian thought shouldn’t be possible, and yet, he knew this connection was permanent and profound.
It was dawn when Brian finally drifted back to himself. He didn’t know how many times they’d fucked over the past however many hours. If you could even call what they’d done ‘fucking’. He’d never really liked the term ‘making love’ but maybe, now, he kind of understood it? Although, whatever he’d just experienced had to be more than what ordinary humans understood love to be. What they’d just had was . . . Well, it was MORE, that was for sure.
“Fuck, Justloq . . . What the fuck WAS that?” he mumbled into the mop of messy blue hair nestled into his shoulder.
“That was z’dsj;copl,” Justloq answered. “More than your ‘sex’, no? Pleasuring. You like more?” And, rolling to face Brian, he touched his lover’s face once again, carrying Brian off to paradise for fuck knew how long.
*VSOPDIFU z’dsj;copl DPGFHDTH*