Disclaimer: This is fanfiction only. No money is being made whatsoever, I just love Queer as Folk. Characters are out of character and Brian is a little younger. If I forgot anything, sorry, Moderator, feel free to put in what I missed.

THE FROG PRINCE

Chapter 1

BRIAN THE PRINCE

Once upon a time, a long time ago, so long in fact, that rope was a fairly new invention, in a land far, far away, so far away in fact, that many people who set out there, gave up out of sheer frustration and turned back before their pack animals perished.

However, if you managed to get there the rewards were great. The land was nestled in a small valley, surrounded by citadel mountains. The valley was large and fertile. There were great farmlands that grew crops, orchards that grew fruit trees of apple, pear, and peach. There were forests and fields and cities and a great, crystal blue lake that was so clear you could see the bottom of it in the center even though it was many fathoms deep.

The hamlets that were in the valley were ruled fairly and everyone was happy and in the very center lived the benevolent rulers in their castle of white brick and marble statues. It was a happy place and time. A time before plumbing and after witchcraft.

For many years King Jack and Queen Joan lived happily in this castle with their son Brian and their daughter Claire. King Jack often wished they had had more children to fill the huge castle but nature is what it is and no more children came. Jack, Joan and Claire were furthermore thrown for a big loop when Brian informed them he was homosexual when he was old enough. Jack was very disappointed when he knew this would be no grandchildren coming that way. This caused him to favor Claire in ways he didn't realize and Brian and his father drifted apart.

So there they were, three peas rattling around in a very big pod. The kids grew to be adult prince and princess and both of them cast their eyes down into....into...you know it was so long ago, even I'VE forgotten what it was called....let's just call it the Happy Valley. So they cast their eyes down into the Happy Valley and began to choose mates. Well...by that I mean Claire began to date and Brian began to ensnare and seduce unwitting young men. Some turned out to like it and those who didn't....well they just didn't say anything. This was the Prince, after all.

This pattern of behaviour continued until the prince's 25th year. At that point his luck ran out.

Brian was struck down by a mysterious, grave and creeping illness. He was bedridden and in much pain. The doctors poked and prodded him everywhere, often in painful places which often earned them a poke (and a black eye) in return. Brian was not a good patient.

Eventually though, it was determined that the illness was centered around Brian's....well, center. The mysterious illness had settled in one of Brian's testicles. When they discovered it, it had enlarged to twice the size of the healthy one. The doctors did a few more tests and concluded that if the ball was not amputated with all haste, it would spread to the other one and then his entire being.

King Jack was not impressed with Brian at this point. He realized...whatever this was, was sexually transmitted so he told Brian, (after a considerable argument) that it was up to him what to do. He had gotten himself into this, now his destiny was in his own hands.

After a few hours of painful contemplation, (his ball was killing him) Brian decided that one ball was better that none. So he called his doctors and quipped, "Sometimes you feel like a nut!" which of course was his way of giving the green light.

So they gave him something to drink with a sedative in it that knocked him out almost immediately. They took him down to the medical wing and cut out the diseased ball just in the nick of time. They made a fake ball out of smooth, polished wood and put in into his sac. When they were done you couldn't tell the difference.

The real ball was another matter. It moved on its own and continued to corrupt and when it was cut open it was revealed to be black to the core. In disgust, it was chopped up, the bits were burned in a raging fire, the ashes collected and the ashes were buried in a corner of a graveyard. The grass turned black on that spot and nothing grew there ever again.

When Brian woke up, he was still very sick but he was better than before. During the course of that winter, when the weather was bitterly cold, the trees were bare, and snow was piled high and measured in feet and not inches, Brian slowly recovered his strength.

At first, when he heard that his ball had been so callously destroyed and thrown away, Brian was most upset. Wasn't it enough that he had lost a nut and that he could feel the replacement was a dead, hollow, kind of non entity? Did they have to treat the real one with total disregard and disrespect!?

The doctors tried and tried in vain to explain the facts and circumstances but Brian cared for neither of these. He was sulky and depressed and spoiled and found fault in every little thing and generally made life miserable for everybody.

Finally, knowing something had to be done, Kind Jack went to the metal-smiths and put his order in.

A few weeks later, the thing was ready. King Jack came to his son and presented him with the gift.

"Here. Look, Bri, I know you think I don't care much about you but that's just not true. I'm a little sorry that you won't know the joy of having a son of your own and I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish you'd live your life so that this type of thing wouldn't happen. But I do love you. I'm sorry you lost a ball and I'm very sorry along with everybody else that it had to be destroyed the way it did but what's done is done. So take this as a replacement and try and be comforted."

He left the velvet box on Brian's bedside table and left. Brian opened it after he was gone.

Inside, was shining gold. It was exactly the shape and size of his now one and remaining testicle. Brian reached out and took hold of it and it was cold and smooth and heavy and it fit into his palm deliciously. He turned over to go to sleep and stroked it with his thumb, enjoying the smoothness of it. After this he took comfort from it, drew strength from it, and became in a better mood. He loved it.

It was a little fragment of sweet sunshine.

His golden ball.