Disclaimer: This is fanfiction only. No money is being made whatsoever, I just love Queer as Folk. Characters are out of character and Brian is a little younger.

Chapter 4

DINNER

The next day:

By the time Brian was sitting down to dinner, the day after, he was patting himself on the back for getting away with the whole thing, clean as a whistle. This was interspersed with guilty feelings that he'd gotten away with it, clean as a whistle.

That is until 6 PM, just as they were all sitting down to dinner. It was then that a servant knocked politely on the door and entered, carrying some flowers. There was a bunch of posies and sweet peas, fresh and carefully arranged in one hand and a single daffodil in the other.

"Uh, good evening, Your Majesties," the servant began, bowing low. "This may sound a little odd but there is a frog at the front door. He claims he has been travelling almost all yesterday, long into the night, and then all today for the privilege of being in your presence. He says he was invited to dinner by Prince Brian after he rescued his golden...ahem...plaything from a well. He asked me to send these along to you. The posies and sweet peas are for the ladies of the house and the daffodil was for the Prince."

The flowers were handed over and Queen Joan and Claire ohhh-ed and ahhh-ed over the pretty spectacle put into a nice vase. The daffodil was practically shoved into Brian's hand as at first he didn't want it.

"A frog!? What's this all about, Brian? Did you invite a frog to dinner?" asked King Jack. "Why didn't you tell us about this?"

"I didn't really think it was worth mentioning. Yes, my ball fell down his well and there was some talk about dinner and whatnot but he also put out that he wanted sleep with me. I can't very well sleep with a frog now can I? So I thought he was just wishful thinking and came home again." He reviewed all that crap that he just spread and tucked his lips in and smiled his most innocent smile. Yes....that ought to do it...he hoped.

"Well, obviously it was NOT wishful thinking! The poor little fellow's been on the move for nearly two days straight! Take a seat cushion and fetch him right away!" the king ordered the servant. The servant clicked his heels and obeyed.

Brian was horrified. This was not going well at all. "Uhhh...Dad!? Is this really necessary? I mean....this creature's obviously delusional. I don't want that filthy creature sitting next to me watching me eat."

"But he rescued your ball! Besides, tell me the truth Brian! When you two were talking about him coming over, did you promise him? Did you make a deal?"

Well, when the King asks for the truth, it was law to have to give it to him. And besides that, Brian had never lied to his Dad before anyway. So he was forced to answer, "Yeah, we...sort of...did....make a deal."

"Well then, a deal's a deal!" the King said as if that settled the matter.

"But Dad!" Brian thumped the table a little harder than he meant to. "He's a frog."

"Then he'll probably be a higher class than more than a few of your boyfriends!" Jack did not like that thump. "And besides...you owe him. The Kinneys always pay their debts! Now that settles it and you be nice to your guest!"

"Yes Dad," Brian was forced to grit out and a few minutes later the servant returned with the large, ugly, green frog riding high upon a golden silk pillow.

The frog indicated to the servant that he wanted to be set down on the chair next to Brian. The servant did so and withdrew.

"Thank you all for having me," said the frog, "I hoped you all enjoyed the flowers. They were all fresh spring flowers and I thought you might like them. I chose the daffodil especially for you, Brian. It's yellow and yellow is symbolic of friendship. Did you know that?"

"I did not. I guess you learn a new thing every day," said Brian.

"I suppose Brian told you how we met," the frog said, "I don't want to bore you with the details if you've heard them already."

"Actually, Brian's been rather...sketchy...with the details," said King Jack, "Do tell."

The next little while passed as a sort of waking nightmare for Brian as the stool pigeon frog did exactly that! He glossed over the initial meeting and banter of course and went right to the details of how Brian tried to amuse Justin with his ball and it fell into the well. Here the frog again "glossed over" the details and simply said that Brian "got upset" and so for a price the frog offered to get it for him. Brian pinched his nose in embarrassment and stress as the frog very clearly and non-delusionally described their contract. That Brian would invite him round to meet you good folk, so he could meet royalty before he died. (Queen Joan, Claire and more than a few courtiers gave a hitch and a sniff at that little gem.) Then to sit beside him during dinner on a pillow and then sleep in a Prince's chamber on a silken pillow.

As he drew to a close, gave one of those queer reptilian blinks that were both sideways and up and down. He did this to make a quick scan and he saw Jack's shrewd interest and Brian's undisguised hate. Under the table, in full view of only Justin, he was pounding his fist into his other palm.

"And yet here you are, a day later, on your own. What happened after you got the ball back Justin?" asked King Jack.

Justin paused. Then he laughed easily in a croaky sort of laugh and said, "Oh well, I was exhausted and Brian was excited. I think I dozed off a bit and when I awoke I was in the half filled bucket in the well. I'm sure Brian must have just bumped it...by mistake and then gone his way. Right Brian? By accident...." And he looked at Brian and one of his eyes blinked down.

The little fucker was winking at him.

He looked up and smiled tightly. "Right. Right, that's exactly it! I was excited and ran off and maybe even half convinced myself it was a bad dream. I guess I must have bumped the bucket when I left."

Then he just shut up and pasted the most innocent...well, least guilty smile on his face and sawed a piece of steak and chewed it slowly and deliberately and pretended the rest of the table wasn't looking at him like he was dirt. And prayed.

After digesting this new information and his own piece of low calorie, low fat, no taste dinner, King Jack finally spoke.

"Well Justin, I apologize for my son's careless and inexcuseable behaviour and I promise that you will have everything you were promised. After dinner, Brian himself will carry you up on your cushion and we'll all see you down here for breakfast." Here he looked at Brian. "Or else."

Brian just rolled his eyes and murmured, "Geez, I thought I was supposed to be the drama queen!"

To cover, Justin cleared his throat and said, "Would anybody like to see a demonstration of froggy style kung fu?"

"Ohhh, what's that? That sounds neat!" exclaimed Claire.

"Ohhh, but don't you want anything to eat Justin?" asked Queen Joan.

"It all looks delicious....for a human," said Justin, "But I'm afraid I cannot eat any of it. I humbly request that a small piece of leftover meat be brought with us to Brian's room. We'll put it on the windowsill and it will draw the flies I need for dinner. I'll eat then.

"You heard him boy!" Jack said, pointing his fork at Brian, "Save a bite of that steak for your friend."

Brian rolled his eyes again but nevertheless very deliberately sawed off a chunk and put it on his bread plate. His eyes never left his father's. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with the steak knife Brian was using. I'd like to tell you more about it but this is a Springtime happy fun time story and I'm afraid it's against the rules. So I'm afraid you'll just have to imagine it.

"Anyway...Froggy kung fu is an ancient form of self defence requiring much discipline and training from a frog kung fu master. I learned it far away many years ago in my youth and have never forgotten," said Justin.

"Ohhh! I'd love to see!" Claire squealed.

"Well then...with your permission..." when the King didn't say anything and the Queen made a light gesture, Justin took that for the green light and hopped onto the table.

What followed defies description...so here goes:

Justin took a veeeerrrrrry deep breath and expanded to twice his size. He rose slowly on his hind legs and until he was standing on his hind legs. He adopted a fighting stance. He then began a dazzling array of kicking and jumping and twisting that had everyone's mouth dropped open. He stomped on a fork and then a spoon. They flipped into the air. Justin jumped into the air, and grabbed the fork while it was still spinning and used it to bat the spoon at either end, juggling it, in this perfectly controlled way, all the way down. Then he threw them in a high arc. As they flew through the air his jumped and twisted and flipped his way across the table and spun around just in time to meet the utensils. He caught them perfectly. He bowed, dropped the fork and spoon and yelled Hee-yaaaaahhhh!!... and jumped high into the air and all the way back to Brian, which was a long way...well, for a frog. He landed exactly on the top of Brian's head and stood there on his find legs and posed: TA DAHHH! Then he jumped off, flipped three times in the air and then landed in front of Brian, bowed again and exhaled. He deflated back to normal. He bowed again to say, that's it...and then hopped back onto his pillow.
There was tumultuous applause from everyone but Brian.

The waking nightmare continued when, as the dinner and then the evening hours continued, the frog became the life of the party. He recited poetry. He jumped to the window and croaked a greeting and was joined by three bluebirds and a lark. They all joined in with the frog as he sang a strange croaked out frog song that was at the same time hauntingly beautiful. Afterwards all bowed but then the birds flew off to go to bed. He told stories of his younger days as a traveling frog helping those in need with his kung fu. He told jokes. On it went.

And with every passing moment Brian hated the frog more and more and everyone else loved him more and more and wanted more. There was nothing he could do.

Finally, when he was sick and tired of taking it up the ass (and not in the positive, life affirming way) and besides which he was just plain bored as well, and when the frog was just starting to juggle three large purple grapes, Brian gave a distinct, long, and loud yawn

"Well, I think I've just about had enough "excitement" for one evening," drawled Brian, in his best, ‘I've never been so bored and I couldn't give a shit' voice. "I think I'll turn in."

"Don't forget your guest," smarmed King Jack.

"How could I forget him?" returned Brian in an icy cold, furious voice he had never dared to use on his father until right now. But he was so angry. He stared defiantly into the king's eyes and continued, "When he's been making a spectacle of himself all night! Well....Come on Froggy! Hop aboard the Froggy Express!"

Frog Justin said his good nights and bowed a last time and hopped onto his pillow. Everyone murmured sympathies and accolades and goodnights to Justin and stared daggers at Brian for being so rude which Brian ignored utterly. Then he picked up the cushion in one arm, the plate with the meat on it in the other hand and without so much as a good night or a backward glance to anyone, left the room and went his way to bed.