Disclaimer: This is fanfiction only. No money is being made whatsoever, I just love Queer as Folk. Characters are out of character and Brian is a little younger.

A/N: This went on a little longer than I thought and I finished at about 3:30 April 5th. So I split it into two parts and here you are right on the deadline.

EPILOGUE:

PARENTS

Or

MORE KUNG FU-OOLERY

Part 1

The next morning at 9 am, the royal family and the assorted courtiers were astonished to see Brian come down to breakfast with a young blond slip of a man wearing a green suit with large black buttons and soft, black, leather shoes that curled up at the ends. (Brian had sent the suit out earlier at 6 am for super fast laundry service and it had arrived about 15 minutes earlier. Of course this did not stop the Princes from sucking and fucking each other while they waited for the suit to be delivered.) And they had lots of practice....they'd been doing it all night.

Both men were glowing and happy and had that life-affirming freshly fucked look about them. They looked like they felt like their bones had been put through a blender and their whole bodies were made of a gelled substance. This was true. They looked completely relaxed. This was...mostly true.

"Brian! Where's your guest!?" yelled King Jack, right off the bat.

"Good morning to you, Father. I'm fine this morning, thanks for asking. My guest is right here. This is..."

"I don't care who this...this person who you managed to sneak in is. Where's Justin? Where's the frog?"

"This is...well, was the frog. This is Justin. And I wasn't aware that I needed to "sneak" people in." A hint of a warning.

But King Jack was in the middle of his egg white omelet, with two slices of unbuttered toast and orange juice, his standard low fat, low calorie, low cholesterol, low to no taste breakfast. It was making him cranky. God, what he wouldn't do for a little flavor! And maybe a waffle. Just one freakin' waffle! And so, he heard no warning.
"That's ridiculous! What do you mean this is the frog? That's impossible!"

"Nevertheless Your Majesty, that is the case. It's me, Justin. Of course, my full name is Jus..."

"Quiet you!" said Jack rudely, pointing his fork at Justin. "Brian, I told you, you needed to honor your deal! We wanted to see Justin at breakfast and to see him in general. What did you do?"

Brian rolled his eyes. "Parents! Geez! I told you this wasn't going to be easy!" he said, giving Justin a peck on the lips.

"I thought not," replied Justin, giving him a peck back. "It'll be OK. Just wait until he calms down. Queen Joan, Claire, good morning. Are you still enjoying the posies and sweet peas I gave you?"

Claire gave a gasp. "How'd you know about that?"

However, all this went right over Jack's head. He did not calm down. "Brian probably coached him to get out of trouble! What did you do, Brian? Oh my...Oh my God! You...you killed him didn't you? You killed him to get out of sleeping with him! Oh that is it!! I have had it with you boy!! You'll go up on charges for toadacide for this. And while waiting for your trial, I'm sending you to a very strict military school! You'll have to do math every day and play hockey! And no hair products!!"

Brian gasped in horror. "What!!!? No hair products?? Unthinkable!"

Jack smiled in evil triumph. "Guards! Place the Prince under arrest! And escort this rent-a-man out of here!"

Now the warning was distinct in Brian's voice. "Watch your mouth, old man! You go too far!"
Meanwhile guards with swords and spears were advancing.

Justin stepped forward and stood in front of Brian. He held out his hand like a traffic cop. "Stop! This has gone on far enough! NO-BODY touches the Prince! Stop!" he yelled with authority.

The guards were taken aback. Then they ginned at each other and chuckled. This slip of a boy was challenging them! Boy, was this was gonna be fun! They advanced again.

Justin just stood there and assumed the fighting stance. A small, grim smile curved his lips. Boy, was this going to be fun! "Just stay behind me!" he whispered to Brian.

"My favourite position," Brian said wickedly.

Justin groaned. "Mmmmmm.....Later, my Prince!"

And then the guards were upon them. And then....what transpired next defied description. So here goes:

As the guards attacked, Justin became a whirling, kicking, punching, spinning, blond boy mass of pure energy. As the first guard with a spear attacked, Justin grabbed the spear and lifted, using the man's own momentum. The guard was lifted up off the ground, over both their heads and across the room. The guard hit the far wall and collapsed in a heap.
Justin used the spear as a pole and lifted himself horizontal and did a quick spin around. He kicked out three guards and then lifted himself again and jabbed out carefully, kicking out and aiming behind Brian. He kicked three inches to the left of Brian's head where a guard was sneaking up behind him. The guard was knocked out.

Justin advanced, using the spear like a long staff, knocked out two more guards and batted countless swords away. Many guards were knocked or punched out.

That isn't to say they never landed a punch. They got some licks in too but whenever they actually tried to grab Justin or restrain him, he twisted free. He was slippery as a greased pig in a lard factory. The blows he received seemed ineffectual.

At last, one guard managed to chop his spear/long staff in half. "Ah HA!" he screamed manically.

Unfazed, Justin switched to two short staffs and whacked the guard in both shins. Screaming, the guard fell to his knees. Justin knocked his head between the two staffs until he was knocked out.

This, as well as many other moves later, too numerous and complicated to document, the remaining couple of guards were standing about 6 feet from Justin, intent on doing their duty yet at the same time unable and unwilling to approach him.

Justin assumed a dominate stance, feet planted firmly and wide apart and crossed his spear pieces into an X. Brian wisely stood behind him. Justin was heaving and gleamed with a layer of sweat.

"NO-body TOUCHES the Prince!" he roared again.

The remaining guards were still unsure what to do. They flicked their eyes at the King. King Jack sighed and made a dismissive gesture. The guards backed away slowly and then ran out of the room.

Brian watched the whole thing with his eyes wide and mouth open. Occasionally, he ducked and dodged from side to side but mostly he just let Justin work. And true to his word, as long as he stayed near Justin nobody touched him. Not a hair was out of place.

The two princes stood together in the middle of a sea of hunky and unconscious bodies. Justin tossed his pieces of spear on the floor and then the both of them picked their way carefully through and over the bodies. They approached the table again and sat down.

Everyone else was wide eyed as well. King Jack's mouth flapped open and closed like a feeding tuna.

"What the hell was that! Just WHAT is going on here?" he screamed.

Brian shrugged. "Ummmm....Looks like I just hired a bodyguard?" he suggested unhelpfully as he bit into a piece of a waffle.

"Ohhh, I know!!" cried Claire, "That was kung fu! That was Froggy Kung Fu! Daddy, it's him! It really is him! It's Justin!"

Justin smiled. "So good of you to remember, Claire. Yes, that's what it was. And that's who I am. I'm Justin the frog. And now, I'm Justin the Prince. Prince Justin Taylor, as a matter of fact.

"Taylor! Wait!? You're Crazy Craig's boy? But he said he ran away years ago."

"Yes. He would say that! But that was not the case. You see...."

And so, at last Justin was able to recount the tale of how he was transformed into a frog much the same way he did the night before. Everyone apologized for what they said and did especially the king and Justin graciously forgave them.

"Wow, that Craig guy seems like a total douche!" said Claire.

"Claire!" Queen Joan cried, shocked, "Table language!" Everyone ignored her.

"You have no idea!" said Justin and King Jack in unison and in the same frustrated tone. They both looked startled.

"Uhh, Your Majesty...I understand why I said that but why did you? What's Craig to you? What's he been up to since I'm been gone?"

"He keeps making threats of invasion and conquest. His latest missive claims that a massive clockwork army will be ready in six months."

Justin shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Parents!" he murmured in embarrassment. "Well, I told Brian this last night and I'll tell you now, I would not take this threat lightly. However...." he paused to chew his waffle.

"Yes!? However??" Jack leaned forward in eagerness.

"However...I believe I can help you. You see...I'm pretty sure I know the weak spot of his robots. You see...."

And as he talked further, Jack began to grin widely. He was beginning to like this boy.