Brian kept staring at the other side of the bed where Justin had been laying only a few hours ago with that beautiful bright smile of his. He still hasn't found the strength to get up and actually do anything productive because he already missed Justin like crazy. Even after spending only one day with him, getting back to normal wasn't easy… every part of him just wanted to jump on a plane and fly to New York. Well, someday in the future he will do exactly that and it will be for good because he had just promised him that he will do everything in his power to move there to be with him and he was going to keep that promise no matter how impossible it seemed right now. But he never broke a promise, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now.
There was just no way in the whole fucking universe he was going to marry Justin knowing that for the rest of their lives they would only see each other if they were lucky enough to find time in their busy schedules. So yeah, he'd been toying with the idea of moving there for a while, he just hadn't had the balls to tell Justin yet because he was so sure Justin would try to talk him out of it, not wanting him to sacrifice anything. So it was really surprising to Brian that it was actually Justin who brought it up, but it seemed that Justin had finally realized that them wanting to be together was worth any sacrifice. He just wished he could make it happen sooner rather than later.
Brian suddenly hissed in pain as the small metal thing in his hand that he hadn't realized he was still holding so tightly cut through his skin. But he actually had to smile looking at it… not at the drop of blood, obviously, but at the little thing that was now going to play a big part in his life. To say that the little twat took him completely by surprise would be an understatement...
"Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you…" Justin exclaimed excitedly, getting up from the bed.
"What?" Brian looked at him confused.
"Give me a sec. I just have to find it. I know I have it somewhere."
"You know I hate surprises..."
"I think you're going to like this. Or at least I hope so. Oh, there it is… here," Justin held out his hand to Brian.
"What is this?" Brian arched his brows, looking back and forth from Justin to that thing. Almost as if it was something from another dimension.
"Well, it's a key. Obviously," Justin chuckled.
"A key? Key to what?"
"To my apartment... I mean our apartment... since you have agreed to move to New York at some point in the future, I thought you should have this... I mean, I probably should have given it to you a long time ago, but better late than never, right?” he chuckled again, this time nervously.
Brian didn't say anything for what felt like an eternity, trying to understand what was going on.
"That's, uh," Brian finally spoke, clearing his throat, still not sure what to say exactly. He was surprised to say the least. But in a good way, of course. "Thanks," was all he got out and he felt pathetic.
"I caught you by surprise, didn't I?"
"No, no... just... well, maybe a little bit," he gently pushed his tongue against his cheek. "Wait, you have it here with you even though you didn't know what my answer would be?"
"I mean, I wanted you to have it anyway... but yeah, I was just really hoping you'd say yes," he bit his lip.
"Oh," Brian smiled. "Well, it was an easy yes."
Justin's lips curled into a smile and he leaned in for a kiss. "And now you can surprise me anytime you want. And maybe when you come visit, you could, uh... well, I'd like you to leave some of your things at my place... I mean, our place. I just want you to feel like home when you're there and I want to have at least a small part of you with me all the time."
"So... you're basically asking me to half-move in with you?" Brian arched his brows again.
"Well, yeah," Justin replied in his duh voice. "We have two homes... one here and one there... and I know it's going to be a while before we actually live together, but until then we can have at least something, you know."
"Yeah..." Brian smiled, actually liking the idea.
"It sounds stupid, doesn't it? Gosh, I'm sorry... I'm acting crazy."
"Justin..."
"I just really miss the way it used to be when we lived together and I want more than what we have now..."
"Justin..."
"But I understand if you think this is stupid and..."
"God, could you just shut up and listen?"
Justin pretended to zip his mouth. "Yeah..."
Brian chuckled and took a deep breath. "It doesn't sound stupid at all. I mean, we're getting married, right? So I'm all in for anything that makes us feel... together, even when we are not..."
Justin rolled his lips into his mouth and ran his fingers through Brian's hair. "That's exactly what I want. God, I still can't believe you actually want to marry me..."
"Right? I mean, I had so many options, but for some reason I've decided to marry you. That's just crazy," Brian said jokingly, shaking his head.
"Hey! Meeting me was your destiny."
"Christ. Don't tell me you talked to Mysterious Marilyn?" Brian twisted his face.
"No, but she would tell me the same thing. It was destiny."
"It was just luck. Right place at the right time."
"That's basically destiny..." Justin laughed.
"You little twat," Brian smiled at him, watching him lovingly. "God, I'm gonna miss you so much."
"I'm gonna miss you too. But we're going to be okay," Justin assured him, kissing his nose gently.
"I know," Brian whispered.
The buzzing of his phone was what finally brought him back to reality, reminding him that no matter how much he wished otherwise, Justin wasn't there. He immediately reached over to his bedside table and to his surprise it was actually Justin texting him and making him smile.
Justin: Finally home - safe and sound! So you can stop worrying.
Brian: Glad to know that. Now get to work, Picasso. Don't waste your time with me, you have to make big money.
Justin: It's never a waste of time with you! But don't worry I'm just about to start, it's going to be a long day and night 🙄
Brian: Get at least some sleep, will you?
Justin: Promise. And I'll call you as soon as I can.
Brian: You better.
Justin: Love you.
Brian: Love you back.
Brian put the phone back on the bedside table and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He still couldn't believe Justin had given him the key... not that it was that surprising considering they were going to get married, but it was always the other way around - Justin moving in with Brian, not Brian moving in (although only half-moving in at the moment) with Justin. But he didn't complain, on the contrary, it had given him even more hope that they will make this work.
----
After what seemed like an eternity of doing almost nothing but painting and meeting with clients, Justin finally had some time to actually have a socal life. So he was about to meet up with Jess, Paul and Mark at their favorite club and of course he was running late... not that he took that much time to get ready, he just put on some t-shirt, jeans and his black leather jacket and didn't even care how his hair looked. But the reason he was nervous and absolutely unable to do anything right was that he knew it was time. Time to tell them the big news. And for some reason he was seriously feeling on edge. Not only because it was a really big thing to announce, but also because he wasn't entirely sure what their reactions would be. Well, not theirs, but Mark's. He still didn't have the courage to talk to him about the obvious elephant in the room because he just didn't want to ruin their friendship, but he was also avoiding him because he felt weird in his presence since that night with Brian. So he was really worried about how he would take it... hoping he wouldn't cause a jealous scene or something.
"Oh, there you are, finally!" Jess exclaimed.
"I know, I know... sorry about that," he smiled apologetically and took off his jacket.
"We haven't seen you in ages and you can't even come on time," she frowned.
"He was probably doing his make-up," Paul laughed.
"Exactly," Justin stuck out his tongue, but then he realized someone was missing. "Where's Mark?"
Justin was a little relieved because for a moment he thought Mark hadn't come, but then Jess nodded towards the bar and he instantly lost that little smile. "He's ordering us beers."
"Oh. For me too?"
"Um, I guess so…" Jess shrugged. "Well, maybe you should go and tell him just to be sure..."
Justin almost sighed but held it back. "Okay."
He then went straight to the bar, feeling really weird. God, he hated this. He always enjoyed spending time with Mark, even after that little incident when he tried to kiss him, Justin just didn't make that big deal out of it at the time... but seeing how jealous he was around Brian made him realize it was more serious than he thought, and now he didn't know what to do with it. He knew he had to talk to him eventually, he just didn't want to lose the friendship they had. But he also knew he couldn't ignore it forever... he just had to for this one night because this night was about him and Brian.
"Hey!" he shouted over the music.
"Oh, Justin, hey," Mark immediately lit up like a fucking christmas tree and gave him a really tight hug. "I'm really glad you're here. It feels like ages since I last saw you..."
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry... it's just been really crazy lately."
"I bet. Jess told me that people really want your art... and I don't blame them, you're brilliant," he smiled at him widely.
"Um, thanks," Justin smiled back. "Anyway, I'm not sure if you ordered me a beer too, so..." the moment Justin finished his sentence, the bartender placed four beers on the counter. "Oh, I guess you did," he chuckled.
"Of course I did. And now you can help me with them," he laughed.
"Sure," Justin took two of them and he and Mark headed back to Jess and Paul. Justin handed one beer to Jess.
"Thanks, blondie."
He sat down and took a big gulp of his beer, swallowing nervously. Even his palms were sweaty. Jesus, calm the fuck down, Justin.
"So I have something to tell you," he blurted out without thinking. He just really needed to say it already or he was sure he's going to have a heart attack.
The three of them immediately looked at him with curious faces.
"What is it?" Jess urged him to talk.
"Um... it's about me and Brian..."
"Oh, don't tell me you guys broke up?" Paul asked.
"Why does everyone think we broke up?" Justin muttered under his breath.
Justin wasn't sure what surprised him more, the fact Paul thought something like that... or that Mark looked almost happy.
"No, god, no," he replied. "But you guys remember when Brian was here almost two months ago, right?"
"Of course," Jess nodded. "How could we forget?"
"Well, something happened... something really big..." Justin smiled, unable to control it.
"What?" this time it was Mark urging him.
Justin took a deep breath and just said it. "We got engaged." God, he could almost hear his heart sink into his pants. But it felt so good to say it out loud.
"What?" Paul and Jess exclaimed at the same time.
"You did?" Mark asked, almost as if he couldn't believe it.
"Yeah," Justin replied happily, not really caring about Mark's tone of voice right now. "I just proposed out of the blue. And Brian said yes," his smile got even bigger.
"Wait, you were the one who proposed?" Jess exclaimed again. "You're my fucking hero!" she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I didn't know you had it in you."
"I didn't know either," he chuckled.
"I'm so happy for you guys," Paul smiled excitedly. "And when is the wedding?"
"Well, we don't have a date yet, but we've agreed it will be in the spring."
"Oohh, I love spring," Jess smiled dreamily.
Justin couldn't have been happier for their reactions, but he was still waiting for the "most important" one, and judging by Mark's expression, he knew it wouldn't be exactly positive...
"Mark?" he said, looking at him.
"I just can't belive you kept it from us for almost two months," Mark said angrily and everyone fell silent. "We're your friends," he added seconds later.
"I'm sorry, but we just wanted to keep it a secret for a while... you know..."
"I do know," Jess smiled. "You just wanted to enjoy it between the two of you before telling anyone. I get it."
"Thanks, Jess."
"Yeah, it's understandable. If it were me, I'd do the same," Paul said. "This is about you two, not us."
Justin smiled, grateful and happy to hear that. But as he could see, Mark did not agree with them at all. He was obviously upset. But for some reason he decided not to spoil it for Justin.
"I'm just sad you didn't tell us sooner, that's all... but of course I'm happy for you," he said finally.
"Thank you, Mark. That means a lot."
"Well, I thinks it's time for something stronger than beer. We need to celebrate this," Jess said excitedly.
And Justin couldn't help but agree, he really needed something stronger. And he certainly deserved to celebrate the fact that he was about to marry the love of his life.
----
Thankfully, as the night went on, the atmosphere between Justin and Mark seemed to get better and better. Maybe it was the drinks or Mark just didn't want to ruin the night for Justin, but whatever it was, Justin was really glad for it.
And everything seemed really perfect. He was living the life he always wanted and he was happy, surrounded by the people who meant so much to him, celebrating his engagement with them. The only thing he was missing now was Brian. He just wished he could celebrate with him. Dance with him, kiss him, hold him, smell him... be with him.
The long distance relationship was really hard and after he left for New York there were times when he really thought they wouldn't make it and he wasn't the only one, Brian thought so too. But right now he was really happy that they didn't give up and that they fought for their relationship because it was worth every doubt and every tear. And even if they still couldn't be together the way they wanted, every day they were closer and closer to that goal.
"How come we're the ones dancing and you're just sitting here on your perfect bubble butt when you're the one who's engaged?" Jess asked, a little breathless as she returned from the dance floor.
"I was just thinking..."
"About?"
"Brian," he smiled sadly. "I just really want him here. And I know I shouldn't complain and I'm not because I'm really thankful for what Brian and I have... but sometimes I feel this emptiness and I can't do anything about it because he's there and I'm here... and I can't help but wonder if I'm being selfish... I mean I could just go back home and be with him, it's that simple, but instead I choose to stay here, expecting him to give up his life and follow me here..."
"Wait a minute... what?"
"Yeah, I left that part out… I asked him to move here…"
"You did?" she exclaimed.
"Yeah."
"And he said yes?"
"He did. But I can't help but think that maybe he just didn't want to hurt my feelings..."
"I mean, I don't know him that well, actually, I don't know him at all… but from what I've heard, he's not the kind of guy who does things he doesn't want to, and when he says he wants to move here to be with by you, I think there is no reason to think otherwise..."
Justin sighed and ran a hand over his face. "You're absolutely right. I'm just being an idiot."
"You're just scared because you don't want to lose him... but he loves you and he's not going anywhere."
Justin smiled and hug her. "Thanks."
"Always," she winked. "Now get up and come dance. Show everyone your perfect moves."
"Yes, ma'am," he laughed.
Jess took his hand and led him to the dance floor where he forgot all his worries and simply enjoyed the night as best he could.
It was almost 4 in the morning when they decided it was time to finally head home. And since Justin and Mark were going in the same direction, they took a taxi together. And of course a slightly drunk Justin saw this as the perfect opportunity to finally do what was necessary. He just didn't know how to start...
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Mark asked amused.
"Like what?"
"Like you want to tell me something..."
Justin let out a nervous laugh. "Well, I do..." he bit his lip. "Mark, are we okay? I mean, are you okay?"
"What?" he looked at him in confusion. "Why wouldn't I be?" he arched his brow.
Justin sighed, he really didn't want to do this but he knew he had to. "Come on. You've been acting weird ever since you met Brian…"
"I've been acting weird? How would you know? You've been avoiding me ever since," he snapped. "And don't tell me it's not true."
Justin's eyes widened and he was a little speechless for a moment, but then he took a deep breath and said what needed to be said. "Yeah, you're right. I've been avoiding you. But I just didn't know what else to do… I mean, I always kind of knew you liked me, but it wasn't until I saw the way you acted around Brian that I realized that… you probably have feelings for me…"
Mark opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again and just looked down.
"Come on Mark, just talk to me… please."
"What do you want me to say?"
"Something... just help me understand."
Mark scoffed. "Understand?"
"Yeah..."
Mark sighed and looked out the window for what felt like an eternity, then finally turned to look at him. "I didn't plan it, trust me. When I first saw you, I liked you right away… and when I got to know you better and found out how great you are, there wasn't much I could do," he took a deep breath. "But our friendship means a lot to me and I wouldn't do anything to ruin it. And I know you're happy with Brian and I really want the best for you… so yeah, maybe I caught some silly romantic feelings for you and that's why I'm acting like an ass and I'm sorry about that, but… I promise you, I don't want to lose our friendship or you as a friend."
To be honest, Justin kind of wished he'd been wrong about the whole situation and that Mark would convince him that he didn't have feelings for him because it would make everything so much easier... but this wasn't easy at all and he really didn't know what to do with it. He wanted to believe that his feelings didn't change anything and they could continue to be friends, but he knew very well what love can do to people and as much as he cared about Mark and didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to be in this situation where he almost felt like he was betraying Brian by having another man fall in love with him... especially if he decides to stay friends with him.
When Justin didn't say anything, Mark continued. "Justin, I promise you don't have to worry about it. You're my best friend and that's all."
Justin cleared his throat. "You sure?" was all he got out, his heart was racing.
"Hundred percent. You love Brian and I respect that... and no matter what I feel, I would never do anything to come between you or destroy our friendship, Justin. Trust me."
And so he did. He decided to believe his words and hope that nothing would change between them. Maybe he was naive, but he really didn't want to lose his friend. No matter how difficult the situation was right now.
----
Brian was preparing for a presentation and felt like his head was going to explode any minute as he went through the documents over and over again. And the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to hear Justin's voice obviously didn't help, so when the urge finally got the better of him, he simply dialed his number. By now he knew that Justin either answered his phone immediately or not at all because he didn't have time and unfortunately it was starting to look like he was busy again so Brian let out a breath of frustration and was ready to hang up…
"Yeah?" Justin finally answered, but sounded sleepily.
"Shit. I woke you up, didn't I?"
"It's okay. Talking with you is much better than sleep" he chuckled softly.
Brian smiled, but noticed how raspy Justin's voice sounded. "Someone had a busy night," he said teasingly.
"Uh, yeah, but just a little... we were celebrating."
"Celebrating what?"
"What do you think?" Justin giggled.
"Oh. You told them?"
"Yeah, I finally did."
"And? What did they say?"
"They were really happy for us. And they can't wait for the wedding."
"Really? All of them?" he was surprised.
Justin laughed. "Yeah, even Mark. You really don't have to worry about him, Brian."
"Who said I was worried?" he almost sounded offended. "I'm just glad he's not trying to get into your pants... or your heart..." he let out a soft breath.
And there was a silent for a moment before Justin answered. "He's not. I promise. And enough about him... how are you?"
"Well, I miss you, so..."
"I miss you too," he sighed. "And I really can't wait for this to be over and for us to wake up next to each other for the rest of our lives."
"I wish I could tell you it's going to happen soon, but..."
"I know, Brian, I know. But the most important thing is that it will happen. We just have to be patient."
Brian smiled and wished he could kiss him. "Well, you waited five years for me to tell you I love you, so I know you're very patient."
Justin couldn't help but laugh. "It's one of my best qualities."
"Oh, I know. Thank God for that," Brian chuckled. "Now tell me... what are you wearing?" he asked huskily.
"Nothing. Why?" Justin asked playfully.
"I just think it's time to take care of your morning hard-on although it's afternoon," he replied in the same voice. "And not to sound horny, but I wanna hear you scream in my ear."
"Mhmmhm," Justin growled. "Make me."
Brian let out a soft moan. And after giving Justin a very intense orgasm over the phone, he let him go back to sleep because he obviously needed it. He just wished he could do the things he was telling in his ear to him in person.
And since he still had a few minutes before the meeting, he took his laptop to look at apartments in New York. He knew he still had plenty of time for that, but he was just curious. And even though he knew that Justin really loved his little apartment, there was no fucking way in hell that Brian would live there for the rest of his life. They just needed something bigger and better. And the more he looked at the apartments, the more he could imagine himself living in New York.
"Apartments in New York?" Ted suddenly exclaimed behind him, his voice confused and shocked at the same time.
And Brian quickly closed his laptop. "Fuck," he whispered and sighed.
"W-w-w-why?" Ted stuttered. "What is going on?"
"Nothing is going on. Just forget you saw anything. What do you need, Theodore?"
"I just need you to sign some papers, but... why are you looking at apartments in New York?"
"Out of curiosity if that's any of your business."
"How long have I known you?"
"Too long… unfortunately."
"Then you know I can tell when you're lying."
"Christ. Fine. I'm moving to New York."
"What?" he squealed. "Why? When? And what about Kinnetic? What about Michael? And what about..."
"Jesus, shut the fuck up. Obviously I'm not moving there anytime soon… I have a lot of things to do first, but yeah… I'll move there eventually."
Ted's jaw just dropped and he was silent for what felt like an eternity. "I'm so proud of you."
"What?" Brian looked at him in confusion.
"You're finally going to follow your heart… I know how much you want to be with him so… yeah, I'm really happy for you."
"Thanks, Theodore," he smiled at him and was a bit surprised but in in a good way. "And now give me sign those papers."
"Yeah, here..."
"And Ted?"
"Yeah?"
"If you tell anyone..."
"You're going to cut my balls and feed them to me. I know."
"I was going to say that I'm going to kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for a month, but I like this one better…" he chuckled.
"Good to know," Ted laughed and left his office.
Brian just leaned back in his chair and smiled.