MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Justin, I have a problem
Correction
WE have a problem
Like a BIG fucking problem
MyCuteLittleTwat
What's wrong??
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Daphne just showed up at our door unannounced
And she is far from sober
Like I'm pretty sure she took a tequila bath
MyCuteLittleTwat
Christ!
Did she tell you what happened?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Not really
She can't exactly form sentences right now
I'm surprised she managed to get herself here in such a state
All she keeps saying is Justin and asshole
I have no idea what you did to her
But whatever it is, you better come home and fix it because I can't deal with this shit!!
MyCuteLittleTwat
I didn't do anything!!
Are you sure she said asshole?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Trust me
When someone says asshole, I'm all ears ๐
MyCuteLittleTwat
This is not the time, Brian!
What is she doing now?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
She's been staring into our fridge for the last five minutes
Either she's looking for Narnia in there
Or she's trying to find more booze, which would be the end of her
MyCuteLittleTwat
So keep an eye on her!
I will try to be home as soon as possible
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Which is when exactly?
MyCuteLittleTwat
In an hour
Maybe? ๐ฌ
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Well, if you could hurry the fuck up
That would be great
Because I'm pretty sure she's crying
What the hell did you do to her?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Nothing!!
I don't know why she thinks I did something but I didn't!
I swear to God
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Well, you better refresh your memory because she's really upset
Fuck!
MyCuteLittleTwat
What is it?!
Is she OK??
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
She found my guava juice and she's chugging it down!
MyCuteLittleTwat
Jesus
You scared the crap out of me
But at least it's not tequila
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Right now I really wish it was
Oh hell no!
She's eating my tuna sandwich
Get home!
Like fucking now!
MyCuteLittleTwat
I can't just teleport there!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Figure something out before she eats the entire fridge with everything in it
MyCuteLittleTwat
I'm doing everything I can
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Do more!
Anyway, I'm pretty sure she just said 'How could he do this to me?'
But it could also be 'I need some damn cheese'
Not sure which one
MyCuteLittleTwat
What? ๐คจ
How the hell could you hear two completely different sentences?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Easily!
She doesn't exactly articulate
Her mouth is not even moving when she's "talking"
MyCuteLittleTwat
Great
So she either hates me or she's fucking hungry
Please just make sure she's okay
Don't let her do anything stupid
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Trust me I'll chain her to a fucking chair if I have to
MyCuteLittleTwat
Let's hope it doesn't come to that
Anyway, I'm heading to the bus stop
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Thank God!
And buy some flowers on the way
Because whatever you did to her, it had to be bad
MyCuteLittleTwat
Could you stop? ๐
I didn't do anything!
At least I hope not
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Yeah, you may actually be right
Do you know a guy named Chad?
MyCuteLittleTwat
Um, no?
Why?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Someone just called her but she didn't answer and immediately started crying
But I saw the name Chad on the screen
MyCuteLittleTwat
Who the fuck is Chad?!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
No idea
MyCuteLittleTwat
So ask her!
And find out where the motherfucker lives!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Just calm down
No need to plan a murder before we know anything
MyCuteLittleTwat
Then talk to her!
In the meantime, I'll get some shovels
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Oh my god
You're such a twat
Give me a fucking minute
MyCuteLittleTwat
Ok but hurry
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Yeah yeah
MyCuteLittleTwat
So?
Did she tell you anything?
Brian?
Christ, what's taking so long?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Get those shovels
And some duct tape
We gonna kill that motherfucker!
MyCuteLittleTwat
You're scaring me!
What the hell did he do to her???
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Apparently they had been seeing each other for over a month
And today she saw him sticking his tongue down some redheaded bitch's throat
MyCuteLittleTwat
Are you serious?? ๐ฎ
I didn't even know she was seeing someone!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Well, I wouldn't be telling people about dating someone named Chad either...
But that's beside the point
We'll put his ass six feet under
Nobody treats Daphne like that!
MyCuteLittleTwat
Um
Is it bad that you just might have turned me on a little?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Well, considering we're about to murder someone, it's a little bit weird, but... I'm happy to fuck your brains out ๐
But first
How long until you get here?
MyCuteLittleTwat
About 15 minutes why?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
She's starting to get a little handsy
MyCuteLittleTwat
What?!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Um yeah
Hand on my back
Hand on my thigh
I think she even grabbed my ass at one point
MyCuteLittleTwat
You THINK??
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I'm positive
I think I am part of her pain management
MyCuteLittleTwat
Jesus Christ
I tell the driver to speed up
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Somebody's jealous
MyCuteLittleTwat
Shut up ๐
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Just hurry
Before she starts taking her clothes off
MyCuteLittleTwat
Please do not let her do that!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Trust me, as much as I find her attractive, I have no interest in seeing her tities
MyCuteLittleTwat
That's a relief
I mean, she has nice tities but...
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
I don't even want to know how you know
MyCuteLittleTwat
I fucked her, remember?
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Oh
Right
Fuck!
Get your ass home right now!
MyCuteLittleTwat
Why?
What happened?!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
She just tried to kiss me!!
Saying how sexy I am
Which I mean... thank you, I know I am
But she's really getting out of control
MyCuteLittleTwat
Jesus!
I'm seriously going to kill this Chad!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
You and me both!
But first get your ass over here
RIGHT NOW!
She's giggling and acting really weird
It's honestly scaring me a little
MyCuteLittleTwat
Ten more minutes!
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Well, hopefully I'll still be alive by then
MyCuteLittleTwat
Christ!
This is a fucking nightmare
MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend
Yeah, tell me about it
MyCuteLittleTwat
๐ฌ